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A Jaded Life
Chapter 321

Chapter 321

After a few minutes of flying, I was able to shake off the uncomfortable feeling of guilt I had been subjected to after rejecting Dargira. It made me wonder where it was coming from, why I was feeling it. I didn’t owe her anything, she had made her decision and had to live with them, why would I want to take her with us, if there were only downsides? Rejecting her made sense, it was undoubtedly the right decision, so why was there a part of me that said I should have taken her in? It just didn’t make sense.

“Are you back?” Lenore asked, getting my attention and drawing it to the outside world. The others seemed to simply have accepted that I had done something strange once more and had continued down the mountain, with Lenore flying overhead. Thanks to Lenore’s memories and eyesight I was able to see a hint of worry on Sigmir’s face, making me feel a different sort of guilt, less nagging, more relatable and easy to understand but a lot sharper.

“Yes, thank you.” I replied to Lenore, before my mind could fall down another rabbit-hole, trying to understand feelings.

“Good. You surprised me, you know?” she asked, sounding a little worried.

“I apologize, that was not my intention.” I told her, trying to convey that I had just wanted to get out of the situation. Her answer was a wordless feeling of acceptance, combined with the suggestion to soar a bit, before returning to the others. The idea sounded great to me but I wanted to make sure Sigmir knew that I was alright and Sigmir had priority.

“I have an idea for that.” Lenore admitted, before gliding down, gracefully landing on Sigmir’s shoulder.

“Is Morgana alright?” Sigmir asked, as soon as Lenore landed.

“Try to talk through me.” Lenore suggested, making me raise an eyebrow in surprise. But it was an interesting idea, I knew that Lenore could speak in my voice but I had a feeling that she didn’t want to deceive Sigmir, something I wholeheartedly supported.

Studying the channels of Astral Power from the inside, trying to figure out how to project a thought of mine into Lenore’s mind and from there to her syrinx and into an audible form was a difficult project and would have been impossible, without Lenore. She was there, her mind right next to mine, not quite joined in an Avatar-state but almost. A stray thought made me wonder what would happen if we shifted into the Avatar-state with me, within a Hallow instead of the other way around, but it was quickly pushed away by Lenore, showing me how to operate her speech.

“Yes, love, I’m fine.” I managed to say, a feat much harder than I had expected. I could see Sigmir’s surprise at being called love by a bird, but it was quickly replaced by understanding.

“Only you…” she shook her head, the worry replaced by wry amusement. “That was quite the show you put on, to get out of an uncomfortable situation.” she told Lenore and me, chuckling a little. I had to admit, she was right, the switch Lenore and I had pulled had been quite smooth, making me wonder if Dargira had been able to detect it, at all.

“We’ll stay in the sky for a bit, just keeping an eye on things from above.” Lenore warned Sigmir, hopping off her shoulder and taking off, back into the blue sky.

Flying… I somehow doubted I’d ever get tired of the sensation, even if slightly muted due to the second hand nature of the experience, it was an awesome feeling. Both in the colloquial sense of it being a very enjoyable feeling but also in the literal sense that it was inspiring a strange feeling of awe within me, an awe that was mixed with a feeling of freedom, awesome power and not being bound by any shackles. Looking down upon the world from above, it was indescribable, making me want to have wings of my own, to spread out behind me while declaring myself to be the Queen of the World. At least I wouldn’t have to be afraid of any icebergs, especially while flying.

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“Want to do a few experiments before returning to the others?” I asked Lenore, after we had been flying around for a bit. It wasn’t tremendously exciting flying, at least that was what Lenore felt, but to me, it was more than enough.

“What do you have in mind?” she mentally asked and I began explaining. The first thing I wanted to know was whether I was able to cast spells, with runes and everything, from within my Hallow, letting her use them at her leisure. If that were to work, the configuration of me, being within the safety of a Hallow, should be the default in a fight, her maneuverability combined with my spellcasting would make it a serious threat.

With that in mind, I began to form the runes, letting Astral Power flow into them while simply keeping them at the ready within the Hallow, hoping that Lenore would get a feel for them. It took us a few minutes with Lenore trying to find them to decide that it didn’t seem to work, the mental effort of retrieving something from another person’s Hallow was quite high and the process a complicated one, not something that could be done in flight, certainly not in fight.

Instead, I decided to see what would happen if I tried to channel them through Lenore, as if I was outside, using our connection to channel spells through her. It was something I knew worked, so maybe it would work now as well.

As soon as I began, using a simple spell of pure darkness, to make it easier on her, I felt that something was wrong. My spell was causing Lenore serious pain, strong enough to make her flight falter. I instantly pulled back the Astral Power, trying my best to gently help her by filling my Hallow with a healing-effect of blood magic, but to little avail. She managed to catch herself with a few, frantic beats of her wings but it was clear that there was a problem.

“Okay, let’s never do that again.” she muttered, her mental voice hoarse from the pain.

“Agreed. I’m not sure where the effect is coming from but channelling spells through you, from within the Hallow seems to be impossible, for now. Maybe if I try to create the spells outside, as if I was preparing to leave your Hallow, but that is something I don’t want to try, unless we are on solid ground. If it somehow causes me to be expelled, alongside the spell, I don’t want to experience gravity that directly.” I thought, letting Lenore share in my idea. I could feel her agreement, expressed without words, alongside a bit of amusement that I was unable to fly. It made me want to learn wind-magic, just to be able to do so.

For a moment, I considered to use the winged Valkyrie-Race, when the game would officially launch but somehow, the idea to be something else felt wrong. My avatar, for all its weaknesses was just who I had become on Mundus, trying to change it felt wrong, like putting on someone else’s clothes. Maybe fun for a change, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t who I was. No, the Firn-elf was the right fit for me, even if I needed a spirit-companion to fly.

“Anything else you want to try up here?” Lenore asked, her voice a little tired. The pain, combined with the sudden fright of falling, must have taken quite a bit out of her.

“No, I don’t think so.” I answered, feeling that I should let her rest in her Hallow for a bit.

She, with a feeling of wry amusement, tucked in her wings and down we went, diving towards the ground. There was no fear within me, not with my close connection to Lenore and her knowledge that she was in full control, only exhilaration. Part of me wanted to roar into the sky, letting the world know that I was here. But far too soon, Lenore caught the air on her wings, turning the dive into a glide before flapping her wings a few times, gently landing on the path, near Sigmir.

Feeling her weariness, I initiated the exit of my Hallow, letting her flow after me, as soon as she was ready. It was still not as fluid as I wanted it to become, to impress locals and travellers alike, but we were getting better at the quick switch.

“Everything looks clear from above.” I told Sigmir, before starting to walk next to her.

“And everything looks fine down here as well. Let’s just enjoy our travels, I’m sure something will come up, maybe sooner than we like.” Sigmir told me, taking my hand with a smile.