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A Jaded Life
Interlude: Forum - I'm not even mad

Interlude: Forum - I'm not even mad

Official Road to Purgatory-Beta Forum

-Jakyl, confirmed Beta-Account-

Why, hello there, fellow Travellers

Recently, my ground and I got one of those dreaded escort-quests. Granted, they are much better in Road to Purgatory as the natives actually act like intelligent beings, not just avalanche-poodles that you need to keep safe while they do their very best to commit suicide, to the point that a call to the prevention-hotline feels justified. But that’s neither here nor there.

Guild gave us a schedule for the quest, because rituals need to be held on certain days or somesuch, the other Traveller in our party had to do real-life stuff for a couple days, so the natives in our group and I headed out. When we came back, guess what, Guild decided that our group isn’t good enough or something and a second group will join the quest.

Blergh, but whatcha gonna do.

Met that other group, higher level than us, four natives and a Traveller. Recognised the Traveller, it’s friggin’ Morgana.

Went out, did the escort. Gotta say, FRIGG Morgana is one scary lady. I mean, holy frigg, in my party, I’ve got a Halfling whose hobby is to blow shit up and slit throats, and a dwarf who likes to make thigns that blow up, more often than not even when desired. The two are besties, always looking for more shit to blow up. They don’t scare me, I mean, it explodes, big whoop. But Morgana? Well, you’ll see what I mean later, it gets good.

Main escort guy feels that difficulty should be turned up a notch, wants to split the party into three, so ten people, with three NPCs to defend against an onslaught of undead. Discussion ensues, more or less decide to go along, cause Natives feel ritual is important and Travellers want the phat lewt and EXP. Or maybe the others had their own reasons, I didn’t really ask.

Three places have to be defended, around some hole in the ground in the middle of a forest, so no real way to work together. Morgana goes, ‘Oh, we need some fortifications’ and I’m just, well, sure, do you carry any in your backpocket?

Turns out, frigg, she DOES. Walks around, makes some Ice on the ground and pulls a friggin small fortress out of her behind, walls and everything. No gates though, but just having a wall around you is useful.

So, with walls around us, we split up and settled in to defend. Started out normal enough, Skeletons, some ghost-things, the usual suspects. Sucked that it lasted the whole night, constant attacks that needed to be stopped. No downtime, at least not longer than a couple minutes. Shit’s exhausting.

We dealt, morning came, some Super-Undead appeared, stronger, faster, armoured, the whole nine yards. Got it down, having a high-level cleric and some teleporting rogue/assassin-type is insane.

Then shit got suddenly real. Road to Purgatory is insanely realistic in the first place, things there just FEEL real, immersive and all. You feel like you’re in another world, with magic and all. But in that moment, on that cold friggin hill, I felt evil enter the world and walk towards me.

Good thing Travellers don’t really need to, you know, or I might have soiled my pants.

After Super-Undead was defeated, we suddenly got Ultra-Undead or something and yeah, it was scary as…

My party-member, one of our fighters, tried to engage, got whipped like a little girl, despite three more people trying to help. Level’s be real. Let’s just say, I was ready to respawn.

You know, there are a few videos of people flying around in Mundus. Turning into birds and stuff, or the Valks with their ritual of wingitude or whatever it’s called. Most can’t really fight in the air, but awesome, they can fly.

Then that video of Morgana dropped, with her going all harpy meets tornado and slaughtering some flying lion-skorpions. That’s what happened, only with Skeleton-Boss.

Swooped in, I might edit the video later, got some glittering Icicles that fly along, crown on her head. Looked sick, dangerous and frigged-up at once. Anyway, the battle.

Took her a few moments to get things into gear, but she was swinging a giant Icicle around, beating the skeleton around like a pinata. Not just pushing, as you might expect when two fighters collide, but literally knocking the thing, which was wearing full plate-armour, into the air and playing badminton with it. Knocked it out of the park, and off a cliff.

Apparently, the fight continued afterwards, which shows just how sick the boss actually was, but dayum. Morgana is one scary lady. And I’m not even mad about it.

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Harms, confirmed Beta-Account

Could have told you that, my friend. Could have told you that she’s incredibly scary.

And the simple fact that almost a third of all spellcaster-videos directly released by Pantheon Entertainment feature her, should tell you something else.

Scary lady is scary, and scary lady will be scary for a long time.

Jeanyra, confirmed Beta-Account

Agreed, scary lady is scary.

I’m playing a spellcaster myself, and frankly, I have no idea how she does the shit she is pulling off in those videos. It doesn’t fit any magical tradition I’ve been able to find, which might make things even more scary.

And it makes me wonder just how much time she’s spending in Mundus, but that’s neither here nor there.

Palda Hengar, confirmed Beta-Account

Is it wrong that the image of Morgana, with Wings, a crown on her head and a sneer on her face makes me horny?

Tobiuno, confirmed Beta-Account

Scary Lady has been scary for a long time. Even back in the ‘Craft of War’-days, she managed to pull stunts that nobody really understood. Well, that and the fact that I don't think anyone has seen her smile or laugh. There were rumours that she wasn’t human but a Robot-Assassin from the future, cause of her preternatural sense of timing.

We have yet to determine if those rumours are false.

And I wouldn’t bet on it.

Goliry, confirmed Beta-Account

Palda, yes that IS wrong. At least I think it is.

Jakyl, confirmed Beta-Account

Oh, she does laugh. At least, as she was magically annihilating a bunch of skeletons, she was grinning and laughing like a maniac.

Eh, she might be a robot. Would explain why she’s so cosy with that NPC of hers, the huge one that appears in most of her videos.

Would that be akin to a vibrator getting stuck in a fleshlight?

Kelphram, confirmed Beta-Account

There was a question whether Morgana is Scary, with a capital S? Or maybe something else, often abbreviated with that letter? I would like to point you to my own experience.

I have yet to manage to sleep without a night-light, and that is outside of Mundus.

Malachite, confirmed Beta-Account

Really, Jakyl?

Fuck you, very much.

Both of us asked for a promise when teaming up with her, and you just go, fuck it, and break it? I gave my word that we wouldn’t share what we saw, and here you go, posting about it, you fucking asswipe.

Thanks for that, nice to see just how much your word is worth. A bunch of views and likes.

Heracles, Official Pantheon Moderator

Please, keep it civil.

While I can understand that sometimes, emotions run high, please keep them on Mundus.

And Kelphram, if you experience psychological troubles from playing the game, please, PLEASE make sure to contact customer service. While Pantheon Entertainment conducted extensive testing, brain- and mental architecture is utterly dependent on the individual.

While we are confident that the Capsule-system is safe for consumption, individual differences might make you extremely susceptible to certain conditions. Just like a vaccination can be perfectly safe for some 99.99999% of people, if you are that one in ten-million for whom it is not, it can be dangerous.

Whisper, confirmed Beta-Account

Malachite, would you elaborate, please? I’m curious.

Given that my word is my bond, I would very much like to know what is going on.

Malachite, confirmed Beta-Account

I’m a teammate of Jakyl and when I got told that a person called Morgana would join us on that quest, I didn’t want to get dragged into the drama around her. You know, Howardlight and his buddies starting their RP here on the forum? That kind of drama.

No thanks, to that.

So, I suggested to her that we keep our interaction entirely on Mundus, not post videos or anything and once the quest is done, we happily go our own ways. We even made an oath to that effect, all formal and everything. Jakyl agreed to it, promising me that he’d keep things quiet.

And now, here we go. All very quiet, don’t you think?

Whisper, confirmed Beta-Account

That sounds unwise, on his part.

The last time someone managed to annoy Morgana, they were stuck in the stocks and got shit on by a bird.

Maybe that’s what he is after all along.

If so, enjoy. And if so, Morgana, we’d all like a video of that.