Sigmir moving around below me was what woke me up, with the sun high in the sky. We both needed a few moments to get to grips with the reality around us and I could easily see that Sigmir hadn’t completely recovered from using the Avatar-state.

“Are you alright?” I asked, speaking softly just in case her hearing was still over-sensitive after melding her body with Ylva’s. She didn’t immediately answer me verbally, but the way her arms tightened around me were almost as good an answer. Not even trying to move, I simply stayed where I was, letting her breathe through my hair, as she liked to do when calming down and projecting calm, content thoughts through our connection. A minute passed, maybe three, before the turmoil I could feel in her mind started to calm.

“I will be.” she simply replied, her voice soft, but filled with emotion. Nodding, I continued my wait, only that now, I let my hand sneak up, gently caressing her face and neck, playing with her hair that seemed just a little fuller, smooth and with a slight, silvery sheen to it. Maybe an aftereffect of her use of the Avatar-state that I hadn’t noticed the day before.

“The others?” she asked, a little later. Given that I hadn’t looked around just yet, I could only shrug. Lenore, who was nearby, had to have heard her, as I could feel her push an image of our camp-site at me, showing that Olivia was sitting nearby, leaning against a tree and carving something into a piece of wood, but Adra and Rai were nowhere to be seen. Curious, I tried to take the image I had received from Lenore and push it over my connection to Sigmir.

“What was that?” she asked, her voice a little surprised.

When I explained, she simply chuckled, telling me how the image she had received had been blurry, with Olivia in sharp focus, but the rest barely recognisable. A part of me wanted to experiment with that, but a rumble in Sigmir’s tummy told me that any vain attempts at sating my insatiable curiosity would have to wait, until we managed to sate my love’s hunger, or she might start nibbling on me. Not that I was against that particular activity, but it didn’t do much for hunger.

After a quick kiss to her cheek, I rolled off her, before jumping to my feet and stumbling for a moment, my mind insisting that my body still had to recover from the abuse I had subjected it prior to entering the capsule. As I was swaying, I realised that regaining my equilibrium was surprisingly easy, just a simple effort of re-aligning my body and mind.

I briefly wondered if the bleedthrough was only one way, as It should be, had to be. Otherwise, the capsules would never have been shipped, and I most likely would have suffered outside the game, for some of my stunts ingame. More than just a nosebleed or two, and a couple of headaches. But I knew that the mind had surprising power over the body, the ability for mental troubles to cause physical damage, both in an indirect fashion, like lacking nutrition or sleep-deprivation, and in the very direct fashion of psycho-somatic illnesses. It made me wonder just how the capsules worked, though I was aware that my lack of scientific and technical expertise would most likely leave me akin to a fish, trying to ride a bicycle if I were to try understanding it.

Shaking my head, to get rid of the last remnants of dizziness, I walked over towards Olivia, who had looked up when I began moving, giving me a nod as I approached.

“Is there breakfast, or some sort of food?” I asked, looking up to the sky in an attempt to guess how long we had rested.

“There’s still some breakfast left, the others are out hunting. We are almost out of preserved food, the time underground did a number on our stores.” she replied, reaching into her bag and pulling out the prepared food. It wasn’t anything to write home about, just some hard crackers and fruits, but it was palatable and lasted forever. Probably because no sane being would try to eat it, including bacteria, but as the saying went, hunger is the best seasoning.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Mumbling a ‘thank you’ to Olivia, I conjured up a plate and knife, both made from Ice, and began cutting up the fruit for Sigmir and me. It wasn’t actually needed but it made me feel good, in a nurturing sort of way, maybe fulfilling a desire to take care and lavish love on Sigmir, or something like that.

When I wanted to sit next to Sigmir, who was leaning against another tree, she reached out, pulling me onto her lap again. Not the most practical way to eat, but I wasn’t about to struggle, especially not when she quietly spoke into my ears.

“Just stay like this, please.” she whispered, her soft voice sending a shiver down my spine.

“It’s weird, how can I long for intimacy while shying away from it at the same time?” she asked, speaking in a way that made me wonder if she was even talking to me. Squirming a little, I turned on her lap, allowing me to look at her face without putting distance between us.

“I’m here, you know that. As close as you like, as intimate as you need.” I whispered, caressing her cheek once more.

“Is it an aftereffect of your avatar-state?” I asked, trying to get her to open up about her condition.

“Mhm.” she nodded, her eyes closing, “It was weird, I felt so alive back then. I could feel you, you know? It’s been like that the last few days, that Lenore and you have been added into the ability Ylva and I share.” she explained and it took me a moment to realise what ability she was speaking of. She had explained it to me, so long ago, that she and Ylva shared their perception in combat, allowing them to work as a seamless whole. It also made sense with what I had felt after Ylva had crossed the second Divide, the way I could anticipate their actions and adjust as needed, allowing me to support them, without interfering in their movement.

“I want to feel like that, to feel powerful, in control. And close, Ylva and I, we were one, a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.” she began to ramble, reminding me of the emotions I had experienced when using that state for the first time. At the same time, I was curious why she didn’t mention the spotty, blurry memories, or if she didn’t experience those.

“But now, I can barely communicate with Ylva, it’s as if a part of me is missing.” she admitted and for a moment, there was a tiny spark of jealousy within me. It was stupid, irrational, that I envied my Love’s companion, unworthy of all four of us, as I knew that my own connection to Lenore was completely different from the one I shared with Sigmir.

Retrieving my hand, I gently put one of the slices of fruit into Sigmir’s mouth, feeding her with a smile on my face.

“Your connection will return, just give it a bit of time. It was the same for me, that the connection felt raw and any stimulation was too much and painful, but at the same time, you want to scratch that itch, you want to communicate with your partner, right?” I gently asked, the frown on her face, alongside a nod, more than enough answer.

“I’ve got an idea how we can deal with this. The easiest is, simply waiting for the connection to return to normal. That’ll just take a bit of time, but waiting doesn’t really comfort you. For that, we’ll wait until we’ve eaten before heading into the woods.” I told her, my lips curling into a grin as I considered the ways I would distract her from the missing connection to Sigmir. There had been that mishap, quite a while back, where we had mixed intense emotions with the connection we shared, that sounded like an excellent time to experiment with that particular incident. Maybe we could get a feedback-loop going?

I could see her eyes widen after a moment, as she got the idea, my grin widening in response.

“There, I’ll make sure that you can relax and think of nothing but what I’m doing to you.” I added, bringing one of her hands to my lips, kissing and nibbling on her fingers. The blush on her face made me chuckle, especially when I noticed her throat working to swallow.

“That sounds wonderful.” she admitted, her voice a little hoarse.

Soon, after we had both finished our breakfast, the two of us gave a wave to Olivia, before heading into the woods, simply taking a bit of distance from the camp, so that I could make Sigmir’s body sing, alongside her voice.