The reality of Sigmir crossing the second divide filled me with a lot of pride but also a bit of jealousy and a deep-seated fear. There was a small, tiny part in my subconsciousness that whispered ideas into my mind, ideas of betrayal and being discarded, just like I had been discarded by my old team, replaced with a newer, shinier model. Just the fact that I had those feelings annoyed me, that there was a part of me that didn’t trust Sigmir. I wanted to trust her, to be able to trust her, to place my full faith in her, but I couldn’t.
I wanted to catch up to Sigmir as quickly as possible but trying to Astral travel either into my body or towards the moon while moving was foolish. And so, even if I wanted to study the phenomenon that I thought would allow me to cross the second divide, the connection between the core within me and the moon in the sky, further, I would have to wait until evening. Thus, to bury those treacherous, dark thoughts and the surly mood that came with them, I did what I could while walking, focusing my thoughts on the dwarven art of rune-crafting.
I had read a lot but my understanding was fairly limited, never mind my ability to apply what I had learned, which required me to translate it into my own magic. But it was a mentally strenuous task, forcing me to focus on my memories, to create small Hard Ice Objects, engraving them with runic formations and carefully studying the flow of Astral Power through it, both with my own senses and with Lenore’s sight, which was a lot more useful to analyse distinct formations. I was better when it came to sniffing out general magic usage, especially if the magic was particularly large scale, but for tasks requiring small and precise analysis Lenore’s sight was vastly superior.
It was a slow going process, the dwarves had created their system over hundreds of years, studying and experimenting with their magic, with earth, stone and metal, slowly perfecting their formations. Similarly, the Zevarra Agha, the Grimoire given to me by the Grandmother, had large runic formations within it and it had taken me a day or two, studying the dwarven books, that the elaborate connecting patterns in the rituals had to be for a similar purpose. It gave me another point of comparison, allowing me to slowly but surely come up with connecting patterns of my own, hopefully allowing me to create specialised magical items and large magic formations on my own. Even the idea of magical tattoos looked a lot more promising with the progress I was making.
On the other hand, it allowed me to understand more about the fundamental casting of magic, how runes and runic formations worked. When I used runic formations to work magic, I didn’t need those interconnecting patterns, what I had started to call sub-runes, to connect the formation, instead I was able to connect them directly, forcing them into alignment with what I now considered magical brute force. It worked, certainly, but the idea that there might be a better way was stuck in my mind.
My logic was relatively simple, if the formation I used normally, the connection established with brute force, was applied to an item, even if the elemental resistance and conductivity should be excellent for the type of magic, it was eroded. To me, that meant that there obviously had to be a force influencing the item, or rather, a part of the magic channeled into the formation was going astray, damaging the item. Again, my mind drew a parallel to electrical circuits, the wires getting hot from electric current flowing through them, and the corresponding loss of power. Logically, that meant that if I was able to perfect my runic formations, I would be able to get more effect out of the same amount of Astral Power, something I valued a great deal.
It wouldn’t work for combat magic, the time needed to draw even normal runic formations often far too long when fighting, forcing me to instantly manifest them at additional cost, so the idea to draw intricate sub-runes to connect the runes of a formation was ludicrous. But if I wanted to work a ritual, something where I had time to work, I would love to have more power at my disposal.
It was an interesting task, especially when working closely with Lenore. She was either sitting on my shoulder and either cast magic on her own, lend me her sight and insight into runes or she would sit on top of the perch-turned-staff and have me cast Ice-Magic through the staff, using the staff to get better insights into the way I worked Ice-Magic. At the same time, she used our connection to observe my thoughts, which I allowed, letting her see both sides of the spellcasting-process at the same time.
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The intimate nature of the mental contact also soothed my subconsciousness, the pure nature of the contact making words unnecessary. It allowed me to see the relationship between Sigmir and me from an outsider’s perspective, especially one native to this world. Lenore was still carrying a quiet fascination for the fact that Sigmir and I were able to sense each other, without prepared formations or even the use of magic, to say nothing of the awe she felt whenever her mind called up her memories about the ritual I had worked with the Grandmother’s help, to cleanse Sigmir of the malign influence she had been under.
In Lenore’s eyes and experience what we had done should be, quite frankly, impossible. Certainly, the Grandmother had helped us, but just the act of delving into another’s soul, without damaging it or being damaged by it in turn was a legendary feat, something only the most experienced Arch-Mages would even consider attempting.
Whether it had worked due to me being a Traveller, or if there had been some other reason, I didn’t know but for Lenore, it simply didn’t matter, it had worked and that alone was proof that the connection between Sigmir and me was something special.
At times, when Lenore was trying something new, I watched her mind as she used her spells, especially the Death-Magic she was directing at some small plants near our path. It was fascinating how the mental processes worked to create one of her newest abilities, a ray of pure death, causing the struck plant to wither into dust within mere moments. While crushing a mundane plant was no great feat, I remembered that Lenore’s strength had always been attacks on a non-corporeal level, magic that targeted the mind and soul. It made me wonder what we would be able to do, if we were to combine our power to strike at the mind of a real foe, trying to sever the connection between their soul and body.
Without a real foe, it was difficult to even guess but I had a feeling that the combination of Mind- and Death-Magic might be one of the deadliest weapons we had in our current arsenal. That was especially true with one discovery we had in the days after leaving the dwarves, when we had moved away from the camp one evening.
It had been far enough from everything important and the others had been forbidden from following, there, in the quiet privacy of the forest, I had clamped down on my feeling of disgust and put on the Despoiled Bride’s Dress, one of the two rare items we had gained from killing Tzar Bolotnik. Part of the reason why I hadn’t put it on had been its disgusting nature, still dirty and damp with stinking swamp-water, while another reason was that it’s abilities weren’t a good mix with mine. It’s abilities, other than the active ability, that is.
That active ability had been worth the trouble of finding a secluded spot to try it out, once activated, I had felt something well up in me, a feeling of despair and hopelessness, causing me to scream out. My scream had been echoed by ghostly wails coming from the dress, radiating out all around me, taking with it a chunk of Astral Power. The screams had manifested as a wave of Death- and Mind-Magic, being carried outwards by sound, causing the grass around me to die off, turning yellow while the leaves had been withered off their branches, even a few meters away.
Granted, the effect had been underwhelming in power, merely destroying some vegetation, but that was with my rather low charisma, at least for my level. But afterwards, I had investigated and looked for traces of that magic, only then realising that the scope had been quite impressive. There had been traces of the magic within some hundred meters, nothing that could cause a real effect but still, they had been there.
With that wail as basis, Lenore and I had started to theorize and consider the possibility to create a version based on our abilities, using Death-, Mind- and either Air- or Darkness-Magic. The current state of that magic was pure theory but we were slowly working on it.
Using the dress had been worth it, even if I had had to scrub myself in a nearby pond for half an hour to get rid of the nauseating feeling.
Shaking my head, to get rid of the memory, I focused back on the small chunk of Hard Ice in my hand, carefully carving the latest iteration of a contained runic formation into it. One step at a time, one failed experiment after the other, slowly but surely, I was understanding magic. It was a great feeling.