Getting nudged by a cold, slightly wet, nose was enough to pull me out of the depths of my mind into which I had spiralled. Indecision, guilt and the question of whether or not I should have the feelings I had, all those emotions and thoughts were pointless. The past, and my actions in the past, were already set in stone. I couldn’t change them, so I had to accept and acknowledge what I had done and the question of whether or not I would do it again, or what my mother would think about it, those questions were meaningless, until the situation came up. Wondering and worrying would merely cause me more anguish, needlessly so, in a situation where I had more than enough on my plate. Survival and gaining the power to pull Sigmir’s soul, her memories and everything that made her into the person I love, those were the important things. Everything else was meaningless.

“Thanks, fuzzy,” I told the dog that was still taking up my entire lap, acting like a furry blanket. “I don’t suppose you can understand me?” I asked, trying to push the question in the same what I would have when using Lenore’s ability to universally translate my speech into something anyone would be able to comprehend. There was no reaction, neither from my Astral Power, nor from the furball so the ability I had gained from the Raven’s Shadow was not the Universal Translation ability.

Looking around, I realised that I had been lost in my mind for far longer than I had thought and by now, the sun was far enough up to enable to experiment I had in mind, to see the Curse of the Sun’s effect.

“Move, fuzzy,” I gently tried pushing the dog off my lap, only to have it look at me with a happy expression, as if I was petting it some more. Pushing harder, I finally managed to get her to stand up, though, from the way she was bouncing around, I had a feeling she thought we were just playing a game.

Shaking my head, I moved towards one of the boarded-up windows, where a long stretch of sunlight was shining through a narrow gap between the boards. Taking a deep breath, I held my hand into the light, not quite sure what to expect.

The first moment, I didn’t feel anything, no pain, no flames causing my hand to burst into flames, nothing that would indicate trouble. But looking at my hand, I felt something drain from me and could see a faint mist starting to form. Looking inwards, I realised that there truly was a drain, that my Astral Power was draining away from me, slowly, the drain not even enough to overpower my natural regeneration, but it was there. And that was with only a few square centimetres of skin exposed to the sun.

To learn more, I covered my hand with a bit of fabric, blocking the direct sun from it and the drain was reduced, though not eliminated, even without direct sunlight. Frowning, I tried looking inwards, to feel the drain, searching for the minute traces of Astral Power that were constantly taken from me. Finding it, I pulled my hand back into the shadow, focusing hard on that drain, trying to observe the change.

And now that I knew where to look, I realised that even in the darkness created by all the concrete around me, there was a drain. It was faint to the point that I only noticed it because I was searching for it and knew where to look, but it was there.

Grumbling, I walked over to one of the broken windows, where a lot more light came into the building, through the opening and the dirty shards of glass around it.

Stepping fully into the light, I let out a hiss of discomfort. Here, the Curse made its presence obviously known, Astral Power draining from all over my body at an alarming rate. Like this, I would be completely drained within ten minutes, even with my regeneration trying to keep me supplied. At the same time, I realised that I felt physically sluggish, far more than the killing during the night accounted for. Exhausted and weak, not a good combination.

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Walking back to my pack, I picked up a sack of rice, simply to use as a weight. Lifting it up a few times, I tried to gauge how hard I had to work, how much strain I received from the effort, before walking back to the light and stepping into it.

Even without lifting the sack, I noticed the change, I was far weaker in the sunlight. After pushing the sack up a few times, I started to pant, the small workout exhausting me far beyond what it should.

Getting back out of the light, I tried to estimate the differences before I began laughing at myself. There was a system, supposedly giving me all the information I needed if only I looked.

Opening my character sheet, I stepped back into the sun and felt myself cringe at the change. The light cut my physical stats in half, while my Astral Power regeneration was inverted, power draining from me as fast as I could normally pull it in.

Letting out a curse, I raised a hand and gave the sun the finger before fleeing from the hazardous rays. There was no way I would be able to work in the light of day, not with my physical strength and speed crippled and my magic almost completely sealed.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to return to the sun after putting the sack back, to see what happened once my Astral Power was completely drained. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I needed to know if only so I was aware of how screwed I truly was.

Far too soon for my taste, I could feel a bone-deep weariness, my thoughts slowing down as if I had been awake for a week and my mind was barely functioning. After blinking a few times, I opened up the character sheet and could only sigh. Now, without Astral Power to drain, my mental stats had been reduced by half, too, from the level of a genius, thanks to the racial increase to my mental stats, to a decidedly below-average intellect.

Cursing again, I moved back out of the light, my Astral Power slowly returning as I did so. At the same time, my attributes returned to normal over the course of a minute, the feeling somewhat itchy and unpleasant.

“This sucks,” I complained, though the only answer I got was a furry snout pushing me, seeking attention. “Guess that means I’ll be stuck in here and won’t be going anywhere during the day, ever,” I griped, while rubbing the large head, the fluffiness helping with my mood. “Or maybe not,” I realised, a grin forming on my face.

Reaching out, I focused on the Darkness around me, trying to pull it in, so I could create a shroud for myself, to keep the harsh light away from me. The dog next to me let out a soft growl, not threatening but more along the lines of fear or confusion, watching me with canine suspicion.

Now, shrouded in shadow, I stepped back into the light and to my delight, the Shroud kept my attributes from getting halved. Only, to keep the Shroud active, I had to channel an absurd amount of Astral Power, changing the time the light would take to drain me dry from roughly ten minutes to less than one minute.

“Well, shit,” I complained once again, stepping back out of the light. “But at least it’s something.”

It was a start and given my low level, both in actual and skill level, I probably should be delighted that I could last even that long. If I managed to raise my skill far enough, I should be able to shroud myself from most of the hassle, just as I had shrouded myself on Mundus, to keep some of my more problematic traits under wraps.

But those were considerations and ideas for the future. For now, I simply wanted to roll up somewhere concealed, close my eyes and not think for a while. Just imagining the situation outside was painful, even if the area around me was abandoned to the point that the screams in the distance were far away and I could mostly ignore them. But that didn’t mean that they weren’t there, telling me how other people suffered.

Or rather, how the humans suffered, I couldn’t really call myself one, could I?

Shaking my head, I added a simple English textbook to the list of things I wanted to acquire and store, just in case part of my emerging race was to change my native language to the ancient Jotun dialect of the Firn Elves.

Later, though.

For now, I simply wanted to sleep and the large, fuzzy heater that plopped down nearby was quite welcome, not just for warmth but also for security and comfort. It was amazing how quickly I had taken to the fuzzball, maybe because I was so used to Ylva.

I would have to look around, trying to find out if the fuzzball had a name, or I would have to give her one if she was to stick around.