Maybe Chris had to be seriously smacked in the face to accept reality as it was. Talking to him, trying to get him to accept that he would need to step up and, literally, fight for his family didn’t seem to work. He seemed to listen to my explanations, before moving past them, trying to get more information about the organisational and social structure built around Apple Gate Farm. Jenn seemed to follow a similar mindset, one that was focused on physical security while ignoring that the world literally wasn’t as it had been before the change. They seemed to almost believe that they could continue to muddle along, that things would, somehow, work out for them. It felt like a procrastinator’s mindset, one I felt would see them smacked in the face by reality.
But while I could try to guide them, could tell them what was out there, I couldn’t make them listen. I couldn’t force them to fight for themselves, as much as I wanted to give my friends the tools to survive in the changed world. But I just didn’t know what more I could do, what else I should try.
Their attitude was made worse by the interest and eagerness Sabrina had when listening to me. The munchkin seemed to hang on my lips as I talked, her attention fixed on me with an almost scary focus. Children weren’t known for their ability to concentrate over long periods and yet, she was one of the most attentive during my impromptu lessons. Some of the adults, mostly those who just kept close and listened, were similarly focused but they were mature, not children at an age where they would just start school, maybe already able to read, learning to write and learn their numbers. Everything I had heard about children was disproven by my munchkin, the combination of her curiosity and fearlessness delighting me to no end. She was willing to learn and put in the necessary efforts, though her fearless attitude was something I might have to break her of. It was remarkably similar to the attitude I had on Mundus, only that I had effectively been immortal over there, my body safe in the capsule. If Sabrina acted as I had, there would be no respawn for her and I didn’t want to see my munchkin’s path cut short. Teaching her the prudence that such an event didn’t happen might be part of the reason why Silva had guided us here.
With one listener incredibly attentive and interested, and the other pair I was intending to teach not really caring, it was obvious where my attention went. The longer I talked, and the more questions Sabrina asked, the more my explanations shifted to focus on her situation and the potential path she could take, regardless of how difficult that sometimes was.
Trying to explain the concepts of deities, faith and the exchange of allegiance in terms a child could understand was challenging. To make matters worse, there were parts of the interplay where I didn’t have the answers and while the temptation to simply make something up was there, I decided against it. If I introduced Sabrina in the service of a deity, be it Hecate or the Grandmother, I wanted her to go into the deal with the best information I could provide. Not with a mixture of guesses and ideas, but with the facts as I knew them.
Though those facts were problematic. Information was only worth as much as the sources it came from, and when it came to divine knowledge, those sources were suspect. All information I had on matters divine came from agents of the divine or from the Grandmother who wanted to gain followers of her own. With that in mind, I wasn’t sure that I could trust the information she had given me.
And taking that idea to the extreme conclusion, all information I had received was delivered through a medium controlled by the divine. The capsules might have some sort of active filter in them, some way to ascertain that the Travellers would never become a threat to the Gods. That one was doubtful, simply because of the events I had kicked off on Mundus, the Feather I had been sent and the traits from the system more or less confirming that things had been real. But that, too, was a conclusion based on possibly faulty information, bringing things back to the initial problem. How could I trust information I couldn’t possibly verify, information that no mortal could truly verify or understand?
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Thus, I could only do my best. Present what information I had, explain what I could and hope that things worked out. I hated the uncertainty with a burning passion, once Sabrina started on that path, once the initial bargain was struck, the path would be completely out of my control. I could teach her some control, possibly how to fight without magic, but everything else would be between her and the deity she ended up serving. Well, I’d also be able to teach her reading, math and things like that, with other subjects to be added on later.
It was early afternoon when I realised how much Sabrina had truly managed to attach herself to me. Within roughly twelve hours she had gone from a completely unknown to someone I made lesson plans for, plans that would require multiple years to complete. It was an odd sensation to care for another in the way I had started to care for Sabrina, though it reminded me a little of one experience I had on Mundus.
Namely, the visit to the Winter Wolves and cuddling with their young. They had been so exuberant and full of energy that it had been impossible not to care for them, only that I hadn’t been able to help them in the long run. They had turned their den into a dungeon, sealing their entire pack into the frozen steppe that was their home. To endure, to last but maybe to never live again. I wasn’t certain about the details that had brought them to their decision, but I was relatively confident that it had been a decision made under duress. They had been forced into it, just like Sabrina was forced to step onto the Path to Power. She needed power to protect herself, it was something I felt everyone would need in the long run. Sure, I could protect her for a time, but it wouldn’t be possible forever, at some point, she’d need to stand on her own two feet. Otherwise, she would cease to be a person and turn into a puppet, only able to exist as a toy of some sort. It wasn’t a fate I wished on anyone, certainly not on my munchkin.
Later, during dinner, I decided to get the people here to take responsibility for themselves. It wasn’t just that they should get to Apple Gate Farm and start integrating with the people there, they also needed to make themselves into something useful.
I had noticed that it wasn’t just the three people I wanted to teach who had listened but almost everyone present had, at least for some time. With the active lessons for Sabrina finished for the day, the munchkin needed some free time, I began to answer the questions of others. Amusingly, my munchkin wasn’t interested in that free time, nor was she interested in playing around. She simply stuck at my side, clearly trying her best to understand what I was explaining to the other survivors.
About half of their questions were unrelated to the topics I had told Sabrina about, those focused on their individual traits, while the rest were more or less the standard fare. When I was asked a question in regards to gaining initial classes for the third time, Sabrina piped up from next to me and actually gave an answer quite similar to the one I would have given. It wasn’t a complex question but just the fact that Sabrina had listened closely enough to know the answer and formulate it into an explanation that wasn’t worded the way I would have was impressive. She listened to me the entire day, but she hadn’t just listened. She had taken in my teachings, doing her best to understand their meaning and not only the words. The realisation brought a wide grin to my face and I happily ruffled her hair, feeling a warm feeling swell up in my chest.
The feeling made one thing startlingly clear in my mind. I would teach Sabrina to the best of my ability, even if I wasn’t quite certain how I could combine my own path, the path of the arcane and of near-endless battles and struggles until I had enough power to challenge Death itself and wrestle my Sigmir from its grasp with the path of the teacher.
But I wanted to do it. Not just try, but I wanted to succeed, I wanted to have Sabrina meet Sigmir, the image turning my eyes misty.