Waking up cuddled up to Sigmir was always a pleasure. Her smell, the warmth of her arm wrapped around my back, the solid muscles cushioning me, they all worked together to give me a sense of content peace. As I squirmed a little, just shifting my position while rubbing myself against her body, I heard a soft chuckle from above my head, making me look up, straight into Sigmir’s smiling face.
For a few minutes, we just stayed like we had slept, not feeling a need to talk, not feeling a need to move, simply content in the other’s presence. But, alas, all good things had to end at some point, in this case we were driven to move by Sigmir’s growling stomach. As it turned out, I’d been sleeping for the entire afternoon and evening, the sun a mere memory, barely lighting up the distant horizon, somewhere beyond the forest. Normally, we would have eaten dinner before but Sigmir had let me sleep on her as long as I needed.
“Do you want to return to the others?” I asked, pushing myself up, straddling Sigmir. Something told me that the look of hunger on her face was in no way related to her growling stomach, causing me to smirk a little, pushing myself against her midsection. The growl that came from her lips, together with her reaching hands, made me stand up fully, getting out of her reach.
“Oh my, if you want to actually eat me, we better get some food into you.” I teased, backing away while Sigmir used her impressive muscles to hop onto her feet in one smooth motion, coming after me. I didn’t try to get away very hard, and even if I had, there was no doubt in my mind that Sigmir would catch me, and her arms wrapped around me, her lips claiming mine. For a few, endless, moments, we just stood there, clinging tightly to one-another, frantically kissing while our hands roamed across the others back and lower. But, again, Sigmir’s stomach had different plans, the growl louder, causing both of us to giggle a little, the look on Sigmir’s face promising that there would be a round two. I was looking forward to it.
“Earlier, the orcs talked about a nearby stream, some running water would be nice. As would some privacy, for dessert.” Sigmir told me, her tone making very clear what would be on the menu after the food.
“That sounds wonderful.” I admitted, a smile playing on my slightly bruised lips. A quick thought to Lenore told me that she would follow Sigmir and me, together with Ylva, staying nearby, just in case. I didn’t think that there were any beings that would actively attack us, not without a pressing need, but the wolves had proven that they were willing to attack against the odds. Getting caught with our pants down, literally, would ruin the mood for certain. Or would it?
Shaking off a few memories of Sigmir, in all her ferocious, bloody glory and the distinct tingling they brought with them, I made sure that my pack, containing the supplies for a simple supper, was with me and we set off, together with our animal companions.
As we walked, my mind started to wander, taking in our surroundings. It was curious, the forest at night was a wonderful study in contrasts, the peaceful atmosphere, with rustling leaves, some insect-sounds and a myriad of earthy smells on one hand but, if one looked closely, taking in the details, things were different. The rustling of leaves could mean a predator catching their prey, killing it in a possibly painful fashion, some of the earthy smells came from death and decay, all forming a cycle. A cycle of life, a cycle of death, two sides of a single coin.
Chuckling, I realised that again, the contrasts were an irony in and of itself, people always thought about life as peaceful and pleasant when it was everything but. To live was to kill, to die was to nourish, there could never be death without life and no life without death.
But, if that was the truth of the cycle, that one could never be without the other, how did that work with different cycles? Could one walk the path of Death with a mindset of extremis? When looking at my paths Ice and Darkness, there was no compromise in my mind, Eternal Ice, that would never melt, Endless Darkness, without a single light, those were the perfect states I was chasing after.
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If I applied the same philosophy to Life and Death, or even just to Death, what would it look like?
A world without Life, perfect and complete Death, would mean I, too, would have to perish. Maybe as the last being, but perfection of Death would always bring with it my own demise. Or, a different idea, to become Death, use the link between the Death-Element and Undead to turn myself into an undead, maybe a Lich or something like that, depending which stories you used as basis for your ideas. That might have some potential but it wasn’t quite what I had in mind.
On the other hand, what would perfection for Life look like? A world without Death, a constant state of consumption, a hunger without ever being sated? Or maybe a perfect, singular being, having consumed all others, but would that be life? Life had to be in flux, to strive and to reproduce for it to be life, otherwise, what was life?
“You look lost in thought, again.” Sigmir prodded, poking my side, when she caught me lost in my own head.
“I apologize, I think crossing the second divide opened my eyes to some things in the world. It is fascinating.” I replied, catching her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, while transmitting my pondering to Lenore, letting her share my philosophical questions, or maybe ramblings of a madwoman would be a better description. There was a moment of silence, before I felt a sudden surge of emotion, a mix of grief and longing, flowing through our bond, taking me by surprise. The excited mood we had shared earlier was thoroughly extinguished, leaving me a little disappointed but, most importantly, incredibly worried what was going on.
“As we cross the divides, the Truth of the World is revealed to us.” Sigmir stated, her voice taking on an oddly formal quality, as if she was reciting a quote, a wisdom that had been passed onto her by someone else.
“The Truth of the World?” I asked, getting curious what she meant. “What do you mean by that?”
“It was something my father used to say. He often spoke of the Path we all were following, those who roam the world, all willing to face death in order to become stronger. All for their own reasons. According to him, those reasons were all part of the Truth of the World, that they were all connected.” she explained, her voice getting distant, lost in thought.
“He sounds like a good man.” I said, not quite sure how to console her. How did one help a friend, a lover, deal with the death of her Father? Especially for someone like Sigmir, who had never known her mother, only growing up with her Father. What little I had heard about him painted him as a proud warrior but without any knowledge when it came to child-rearing. But, even if he had been an abusive monster, when measured by modern standards, Sigmir had loved him a great deal.
“And he would be proud of you. Didn’t he teach you to take revenge when wronged before moving on? You took your revenge and moved on, roaming the World.” I added, my mind continuing on the mental track it had before derailing. Talk of our roaming of the world would inevitably bring up the future and that came with that knowledge stuck in my mind that half of our time together was already over. That I couldn’t truly promise that I would find her again in the future, no matter how much I wanted to do so.
“Don’t worry about the future, we will face it together.” Sigmir assured me, apparently having picked up on my distress over our connection.
“You are right, why worry about tomorrow, when we have today?” I agreed, even if I knew that only by preparing for tomorrow, we would be able to shape the future. Plans were needed but how could one plan if there was little one could do to get what you wanted? I simply didn’t know if there was something I would be able to do, to make Pantheon agree to leave Sigmir without changing her. While they had been open about their plans for the Beta, their plans for the full release were shrouded in secrecy, giving us only a date, but no further plan, no information.
Shaking my head again, I forced those thoughts from my mind, trying to lose myself in the moment with Sigmir. Even if I knew that I had to try something, anything, that would allow me to keep together with her. For a moment, the little book I had been given by Mrs. Wu came to mind, the things described in there, the memory of her, looking at me with a proud look on her face, telling me that I had struck with true intent to kill, that I would have killed her, if she hadn’t been prepared. But the book had contained a lot more than just martial arts.