“Now I’m dry,” I complain as I stand below my window at Castle Grey.

I spent too long trying to find my swords. They now sit on my hips but not after searching for far too long. It is very much morning now. The sun is bright and high in the sky.

People know I’ve snuck out. My first reasoning? The guards are all in a panic. The second? The man normally watching my window is no longer there.

I think I know why…

A dark tendril flashes from my back. It hooks onto my window. I let it pull me up until I’m able to enter back into my room.

Before I can, I’m pulled in by a pair of rough hands. They slam me into the wall.

“Gah!” I utter.

Gai stares at my face. His eyes burn with fury. He places his hands on both my cheeks as he examines me from the head down multiple times.

“Gai, I—”

Gai places a hand over my mouth.

I decide to not resist. He looks insanely livid.

Continuing to scrutinize me, he eventually relaxes, letting out a breath showing his acceptance of reality. I’m released when he does.

Clearing my throat, I go to speak. “Gai, I—”

Gai flicks my forehead. It is neither hard nor soft, just surprising.

I turn to look at him, my face contorted with concern.

As I do, two hands grab my face. “Thank the Gods,” mutters Gai. His voice kind of cracks. “That was some dumb shit you did, you know that?!”

“Uh—”

“There was another body found in the city early this morning. A girl with red hair. You weren’t here, and no one could confirm it wasn’t you. Know what that felt like, Scarlet!?” Gai yells at first, but his voice audibly starts to diminish until it is only a whisper. “Everyone went into a panic. Remi was screaming at everyone, at me…it was a mess. Just…I’m happy you’re back.”

Ah…

This…sucks…

It’s not surprising. I expected that something like this might happen. I’d have been a fool not to consider it. Getting yelled at is not fun, not from people I care about. Not from people who care about me.

All I feel is guilty.

If I’d succeeded in trapping or killing the guy I was after, this would be a different story. Yes, I’d still get yelled at, but no one would be able to stay angry. I’d have done a good thing and would have had the success to back me up. Now I’m only experiencing the adverse effects of my night out. It’s a good thing I resolved myself to reveal everything before coming here. That choice is my only recourse now.

I’ll tell Gai what happened and go from there. He deserves to know, too.

“What the hell were you doing last night?” Gai asks me, ironically.

I clear my throat. “I—”

“Actually, come on.” Gai grabs my hands and starts pulling me out of the room. “Everyone’s worried about you. That can wait.”

“But—”

“You weren’t thinking, dammit.” Gai drags me through the castle halls. Apparently, he’s going to keep bashing my head about with this. It’s already gotten old. “If you wanted to go out and help people, you should have at least left a note telling us what you were doing in case something happened. I don’t know exactly what you were doing—”

“I—”

“—but if you were going after the killer by yourself, you’re an idiot. If you were patrolling like normal because you were feeling restless, you’re still an idiot. You did an idiotic thing.”

“I—”

“What if—”

Gai yells at me as I’m dragged away. It’s a far cry from the man who ruined my engagement to a prince because he was drunk and felt a “connection.” And to sleep with me. This caring adult persona is way out of character. Damn, he’s changed so much...and he isn’t letting me speak at all!

*

First, I’m brought before Remi. She’s in Master Talbert’s room, coordinating with parts of her staff. Master Talbert is not in the room, nor is Captain Van Gallan, Nigel, or Alexander. If I had to guess, they’re dealing with troops somewhere in town.

Remi looks noticeably distraught. Probably my fault, I’ll admit.

Upon seeing me, Remi’s expression turns to one of anger. She struts across the room, shouting. At some point, she slaps me. There’s even more screaming. It turns into a whole traumatic affair that I don’t resist since I’m admittedly in the wrong. In the end, Remi quiets and holds me tight, telling me I’m an idiot in a way similar to Gai.

*

I’m on my knees before my father. He assumes his role as Baron in this instance, judging me in his chair from his throne room. Nigel and Alexander appear with a few other soldiers and castle political staffers. Master Talbert and Captain Van Gallan are still not available. I guessed right earlier. They’re coordinating efforts in the city, given the new body. I overheard it from a guard.

There are heavy prison-esk vibes going on around me. For example, Remi took my swords. Two guards stand at my side carrying spears. That’s nice. Maybe I’ll get executed. Ha! They’re so mad I didn’t die they’ll execute me for disobeying my lockdown. This is all bullshit.

“Scarlet, my daughter, what you did was not only foolish but childish,” begins my father. His tone stretches for the entire room to hear, but it is painfully forced in my direction. “I thought you were smarter than this. A serial murderer is out there butchering women. Our best officers say you may be their main target, you know this, and yet you still evaded those that would keep you safe to put yourself in danger. Foolish.”

The air in the room grows uncomfortable, noticeably so. I’m fine, but the people around me are not. To be embarrassed, I’d have to have respect for my father. While I may begrudgingly admit that I respect his tactical abilities and approach toward agricultural policy, I don’t respect him as a parent. He’s my father in title only. His role in my life has been to create hardships. He’s lucky I’m mentally older than him by a good twenty years, give or take. A person with my desires and abilities without the foresight of experience might have attacked him or killed him by now.

But I digress…

“What level of surveillance was she under before?” Baron Embers directs those words to Remi.

Remi straightens up. Her voice projects clearly. “My lord, we had guards watching over her movements from a distance at all hours of the day.”

“At a distance? Change it. I want someone in a room with her every second of every day, observable and audible. At night, they are to be in the same space as her. All her days must be under constant moderation. I cannot afford to trust she’ll act rationally.”

“My Lord.” Remi nods. She kneels. “I offer myself to watch over her at all hours of the day. My lady is strong. Only a handful of people could likely catch and restrain her if needed, and I would be one of them.”

“While that may be true, you have the responsibility of aiding the investigation to catch this killer. You cannot be wasting your entire day following my daughter.”

Gai steps forward, moving from his position at the back of the room. “Then I offer to take the night shift, and Remi can take her during the day.”

The guards in the room mutter to one another.

The hell are you doing, Gai?!

“You are no guard of mine. You are my daughter’s fiancé, not her warden. Why would you do this?” asks Father.

“Before arriving in this region, I spent time traveling and doing mercenary work to hone my swordsman ship in situations that could have killed me. I’m used to sleeping during the day and staying awake at night. More importantly, I have no working or political responsibilities as of yet since the marriage between your daughter and me has not been completed. Me taking the sacrifice won’t affect someone important like Remi.” He gestures to her as he says her name.

“You say this, yet you are the one who put these ideas into my daughter’s head.” Baron Embers’s face appears to darken. “She went out on her own last night, yes, but this was not the first time. I’ve been informed by Remi this was a common occurrence for the both of you.” He glares at Remi as he speaks. “Talbert and you shall speak to me in greater detail later regarding what you’ve decided to keep hidden,” he directs to her. His attention turns back to Gai. “Why would I entrust the safety of my daughter to a man who seems not to care about it?”

Oh, ow.

Dammit, Remi’s revealed everything. We’re screwed.

“Based on how she felt at the time, Scarlet was going to do something like that on her own. If I had not gone with her, someone would have been hurt, likely her.”

“You may be engaged to my daughter, but until you are wed, she does not belong to you. My word is the law. Scarlet’s safety is my priority until you two are married. You endangered her and usurped my authority as her father. The fact that you are not in chains with your engagement annulled should speak volumes of my patience.”

The tension in the room grows further.

That’s an…oddly passionate rebuke from Father on my behalf.

Gai bows. “I apologize. It was never my intention to betray your trust. I care for Scarlet. I would never do something to put her in harm’s way.” He smiles. “I doubt that changes your opinion of me in the end, but you’ve seen me fight. Your daughter was safe with me. And you’ve seen her fight. It wasn’t vigilante work as it was more like the outbursts of two spoiled children. We were never in any danger. If that had changed, I’d gladly have died so that she could live. In that, I pledge myself with absolute certainty.”

My gaze burns into the back of Gai’s head as mixed thoughts and feeling swirls around inside my mind.

Is he telling the truth or is he lying?

“You know my situation, Lord Regal, from the correspondence with my family and our personal chats,” says Gai, revealing things I didn’t even know. “It’s why you’re putting up with me. It’s why the marriage will still happen, and I am not in chains.” A sad smile overtakes his lips. “Even with everything you said, the connection is too valuable to give up.”

The room becomes deadly silent as the unsaid is finally spoken.

“To me, Scarlet is more than a transaction. I’ve already put my life on the line for her when I objected to Prince Christopher,” references Gai to that highly embarrassing moment. “I’d do anything for her. Anything. The reason Scarlet didn’t bring me along last night is because she knew I would have stopped her.”

Father stares deeply into Gai’s face.

Remi steps forward. “I agree with allowing Lord Regal to watch over Scarlet.”

“Is that so?” Father turns to Remi. His eyes raise with interest. The edges of anger have slightly faded from his eyes.

“While I could not convince Lady Scarlet to give up her actions, Lord Regal understood why they needed to stay in the castle and agreed with my reasoning. He’s a large part of why Lady Scarlet has remained in the castle these past few days. I trust him to follow through with his duty.” Remi dips her head low. “He cares for her. It is enough reason, I believe.”

“I, of course, vouch for his combat strength.” Nigel steps forward to add to my misery. “What we saw during his engagement bout was minor compared to his real potential. We spar often. He keeps up with me while I’m using my gifts. He’ll be able to subdue Scarlet if necessary.”

Father muses for a moment. “How could I say no with such resounding testimony?” He stands. “Very well. Gai Regal, ignoring your earlier comments, I entrust you with my daughter’s safety in the same capacity as a soldier under my care. You must know what that entails, correct?”

Gai dips his head. “Yes, sir.”

“Very well.” Father sits back down. “Scarlet,” He directs his attention back to me. “you are now restricted from leaving the castle. Before leaving rooms, you must inform those watching over you, and they must approve the action. You are not to set forth outside of these walls until the killer is caught.” He gazes at me thoughtfully and forcefully. “Regardless of what you and…Mr. Regal…may think of me, you are my daughter. I will keep you safe, even from yourself if I must.”

I frown at that statement.

“And Remi, you may keep her swords for the time being. She won’t be needing them.”

Bullshit.

*

I plop down face-first in my bed, annoyed.

Everyone’s against me, so why wouldn’t I be?

Even though I fully understand why, it annoys the hell out of me to be treated like a shitty little brat. I’m mentally fifty years old, sort of!

Granted, I don’t know if I can ‘mature’ still, even though I haven’t aged past a certain point. It is likely a good philosophical question. If my body and experience haven’t matched, have I continued to age, or am I merely reliving what I learned?

Gah! Whatever!

I never got a chance to speak at any point to anyone! I was ready to tell my side of the story, to explain what I went through, but no one asked! Not even once!

I don’t need people to protect me! It’s the whole reason why I picked up a sword in the first place. The damn contradiction of my life. Even though my reason for fighting is to protect myself, everyone is protecting me. I get they care about me, but this is suffocating!

I’m not an invalid. I make conscious choices. I can deduce and reason.

Everyone is going overboard for my sake.

I hate it.

Why can’t I do what I want? Ever? Why can’t I be me? If other people won’t support me, how am I supposed to help myself?

“Hey, Scarlet,” speaks Alexander. He breaks me from my internal monologuing. “would a sarcastic comment make you feel any better?”

Lifting my head from my pillow, I eye him for a moment. My gaze is unblinking. Evil. Determined.

Alexander kind of shies away. “Jeez, just say no next time.”

My face flops back into my pillow.

Gai, Remi, Alexander, and Nigel all crowd around my door. They seem worried about me.

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Great! More worry! Just what I need. Pathetic old me. Worry on! I’m a helpless little girl. Wah! I can’t do anything by myself! Please, oh, please!

Is that what they want from me?!

“She seems fine,” concludes Alexander. “We should all go back to work now. You know. Killer and stuff.”

I hear smacking.

“Ow! Okay, okay!”

“Scarlet, it’s just for a little while,” says Remi.

I ignore her.

“It’s, uh…” Nigel trails off. “I’m not good at these kinds of things.”

“Hey, how about I deal with this?” interjects Gai.

“You?” My three friends say in unison. I’m assuming they’re giving him bitchy looks based on their voices. I don’t blame them. They’ve known me longer than Gai, yet Gai feels he can handle the situation better than them? I’d be offended.

“You deal with this?” grunts Remi.

“You’re kicking us out?” Nigel says even though he admitted he’s not good in these instances.

Even Alexander piles on saying, “We’ve known her longer. Why should we?”

Yup. I was right on the money. I knew exactly what they’d say.

“Listen, I know that. But even though you three are her friends, you’re soldiers first. I’m her fiancé. Our relationship is more personal. I’m with her all the time, both night and day. I know what to do, alright?”

What a load of crap!

“Fine,” Nigel accepts the offer after some time.

“Get us if you need us, Scarlet,” Remi calls after them. “I’ll be by to check on you later.”

The door closes, signaling my friends are gone.

I feel a body sit next to me in bed.

In response, I sit up, my eyes furious. “They bought that garbage?”

Gai flinches but readjusts his face with a smile. “It helps that everyone’s pissed at you. And I’m a persuasive person.”

“You’re not a soldier?” I point an accusing finger at Gai. “You’re the person who volunteered to keep me imprisoned at night! I can’t believe they bought that shit!”

Gai shrugs.

“That isn’t an answer!”

“Scarlet, how about we talk, hm? Tell me what happened last night?” Gai tries to be gentle. His hands move to my legs. He rubs them softly.

There’s no way I could have known he was going to become such a rational, normal, empathetic person just by cutting off a lot of his drinking. It was hard for him at first, but now I barely see him drink. The last time was…I can’t remember. I know he has, but it’s been a while. He doesn’t go overboard anymore at least.

Yet I’ve created a monster. This version of him infuriates me.

“Ohhhh, you are veeeery late in asking such a question!” My hands push him away. “I’ve been waiting for someone to do that for hours now! What did I do? What did I see? Did you see something important, Scarlet? Never got one of those questions! Not once! All anyone did was yell at me.” My cheeks puff out, pouting, as I smash my face back into my pillow, further annoyed.

Gai pats my back sarcastically. “There, there.”

I resist the urge to scream.

“You may think we’re being mean here, but you did an idiotic thing.” Gai’s voice is gentle. “You scared the crap out of all of us. Don’t act all high-and-mighty like you’re the one aggrieved. How would you feel if you thought one of your friends died?”

Dammit, I know he’s right, but he’s saying it in such an insufferable way!

Sitting up, a coldness overtakes me. I stare at Gai who flinches slightly at my gaze. “You want to know what I did last night? What happened? Are you ready now?”

“Yes, of course I want to know,” Gai replies with a calmer expression now. He looks me in the eyes, ready to listen.

I let the back of my head crash into the pillow until I’m staring up at the ceiling. I breathe out a bit, relaxing.

“I went out into the city to find the killer. Why wouldn’t I? He’s ruining my life, whoever he is. I’m strong and confident in my skills. Even if I couldn’t kill him, I thought I could incapacitate him. It’s not like he’s killed any fighters or the like. Only defenseless women. I am not that,” I say.

Well, I did think that. That conclusion is clearly not true now that I’ve fought him.

“Dammit, Scarlet,” mutters Gai. “Not surprising, though.”

“I spent the whole night scouring the city,” I continue unabated. “Didn’t find much at first. Then I came across a crime. Not the killer. Just a different crime. A murder.” I turn to Gai. Sadness likely reflects in my eyes. “You remember that man we captured our first night out? The one assaulting that woman?”

Gai’s eyes darken a bit. “Yes.”

“It was him.” I look away. “He was free for some reason. Maybe he escaped. Maybe his sentence was not that severe. Maybe our interference made his sentencing mute. Shit, it was probably that, but who knows? He was out there. He killed her. That same girl. I don’t know what stars aligned for me to see that happen. It was ironic, but I saw. He killed her. He did what he wanted to do last time then ended her life with a knife. What are the odds? Why…Why the hell did I have to see that?”

The room turns quiet.

“Did we even make a difference?” I whisper.

Gai is quiet, still. He looks away from me for a moment before taking a breath and looking back at me. “What happened after that?”

“I couldn’t kill him if that’s what you’re asking,” I scoff, mostly deriding myself. “I’m too pathetic to do that. I just…hurt him. A lot. I broke each of his arms and legs, dislocated his major joints, then crushed the openings so they couldn’t be set back.”

Gai’s face darkens further. He turns away.

“He isn’t dead.”

“How can you be so sure? That’s sounded brutal, Scarlet.”

“He’s not dead. I didn’t kill him.”

“Scarlet, you—”

“Shut up!” I cover my ears with my hands. “He isn’t dead! I didn’t kill anybody! That wasn’t enough to do that! I made sure! I checked! Guards were coming! People heard! He’d got help immediately after I did that! Stop talking!”

There is no response. After a moment, I take my hands off my ears to confirm the quiet.

“Even if he isn’t, he should be,” says Gai after sometime.

“I…agree. He should be. If it were up to you and you’d made the decision that night to kill him, this woman would still be alive instead of dying like that in such a horrible, demeaning way,” I regret. The pain is palpable in my voice. “Why can’t I do it? How can you?” I peer at Gai. My gaze is questioning. “Does it make me as weak as I think it does? Everyone philosophically thinks it’s an admirable thing not to kill people, heroic even, but I don’t know if that’s true. If you let someone free knowing they’ll kill someone, didn’t you indirectly cause that murder?”

Gai’s demeanor sours a bit. “You are fine the way you are, Scarlet. Don’t try to change the admirable parts of yourself.”

“If I had killed that man myself last time or I’d allowed you to, the girl would be alive, correct?”

Gai, regrettably, nods. “Yes.”

“Then there was nothing admirable about my decision,” I drone onward, depressed. “It’s bad to kill innocent people, but society has collectively agreed that those who have decided they do not want to participate in society, that want to be evil, deserve death. It’s why we have executions. If someone killed three women before my eyes, would it not be just to kill that person even if they’ve not harmed me nor had the intention to? Would it not be right to stop that evil? Or does that merely mean I adopt his sins?”

Gai says nothing.

“You didn’t think about any of this after you killed?”

“I wasn’t thinking as broadly as you are. All I thought of was myself. What kind of person had I allowed myself to be?” Gai stresses carefully. He fiddles with his fingers. “In the end, I don’t regret my actions. It’s like you said, I probably prevented someone else from dying. Getting rid of someone I know is a threat is better than risking the chance that person will be free.”

“Even if that makes you just as bad?”

“I think that depends on your perspective.”

“If the world was so black and white, yes, it’d make you bad. But if people believed that there are only two choices in life, to be good or be evil, they’d be missing the fact that we live in a fallen world,” I say, my eyes drooping a bit. “No one is truly guilt-free, are they? Even the nice ones. Suppose we start quantifying such things, allowing injustice where it shouldn’t be. Doesn’t that make those who don’t act or take half-assed solutions just as morally broken as someone who’d end the life of another?” I sigh. “If reality and human nature were easier to quantify, this wouldn’t be such a debate, and I wouldn’t be as depressed about this. Even if I know these things, I can’t get past the immoral feeling of taking another’s life, even if I know it’s the proper solution.”

“Immoral, huh?” scoffs Gai. “I feel judged,” he adds in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“I don’t mean it that way. It’s just…how did you do it?”

Gai’s face tenses. He looks away from me, pondering my words. “I guess…it was a selfish decision.”

I stare.

Gai notices my gaze. “What? It was. To kill another person is an act of selfishness. The fact that you can’t only means that you’re an inherently caring, kind person.”

“I’m not a kind person. It is not kindness to allow inevitable, curable strife to continue existing,” I remark in reference to the man I crippled last night.

“Kindness comes in different forms,” Gai suggests. “I don’t embody it. I killed because I was selfish. I wanted to keep my life, so I took another’s. There was no other meaning, no justice I was seeking to cure, no cause I deemed worthy of my actions. It was self-preservation. And honestly, that’s why most people kill, probably. Any reasoning or justification I had I thought of after the fact. During it, I wanted to survive. That’s all. It was selfishness, nothing more.”

“Selfishness?”

“A murderer kills for many reasons. Anger. Fear. A desire to see death. A soldier kills because they are told to. Soldiers do their jobs to support themselves, an ideology, or their families. Accidents are an outlier, of course, but killing is stealing. Stealing is an act of greed. Greed is an inherently selfish feeling. Therefore, killing is selfish.”

I guess he has thought about this…why wouldn’t he? It was stupid of me to assume he hasn’t.

“That…oddly makes sense.”

“I did dwell on it for a while,” says Gai. “When I killed those men, I grieved for days, wondering what I could have done differently. I’ve had this conversation before about what it means to kill. That’s the conclusion I arrived at.”

It’s not about resolve. It’s about selfishness.

Huh.

Then…I should be able to do it, too?

No one is more selfish than someone willing to take their own life. I put aside the happiness of everyone else around me as Felix to end the suffering I had. The fact that I was willing to show there’s some acceptable level of selfishness in my heart.

I need to put myself in a situation where my life is so at risk there’s no other solution but to kill.

Even with all the hardship, this life is better than my last. I’ve been sad, depressed even, as Scarlet many, many times. Felix’s reality has interfered with this one, but my former memories made me appreciate this life for what it is.

I want to preserve this existence, flaws and all.

Is that enough for me to kill someone?

My goal in life is to find some form of fulfillment, whatever that means.

I admired infallible heroes who resisted the urge to kill. Now that I’m on the other end, I realize how unrealistic they were. Those were stories, idealistic recreations of life where everything could get neatly wrapped up in a volume or two. It’s not how real life works. Anyone striving to protect others would kill someone eventually, even the most intelligent, skilled of them. Accidents happen, especially when violence is a remedy for peace. To save is to see death. You grow closer to it, accept it. Ultimately, you realize that it isn’t that bad sometimes.

I think that might be true, at least a little.

I can’t keep half-assing my ideals. Every time a conflict arises, I question myself.

Ah.

That’s it.

I have no resolve, no conviction.

It makes me pathetic. Cowardly.

It all comes back to that.

Cowardice.

I’d resolved to change, but I haven’t. Not yet.

I have an opportunity to do so.

Next week.

What would a hero do?

Briefly, I stare past Gai where my swords used to sit. Their vacant space holds my gaze.

Time seems to slow, but a blink later, everything returns to normal.

Fine then.

I’m alone.

I’m selfish.

Everything is there. All I need to do is change. Finally.

If this is what I’m going to do, if I’m fighting that man alone, then I need to figure out how I can do so.

It’s a selfish decision. Only selfish people can kill. I’m on the right track.

I’m glad I didn’t tip my hand to anyone yet. Maybe that was a blessing in disguise. All the information is in my hands alone. It’s like I was being forced into this conclusion, or maybe I stumbled into it. Either way, I can’t keep going back and forth between wanting to be strong and then meekly allowing others to do the hard shit for me. Even if I don’t kill and Gai does, that’s me delegating responsibility. That’s all I’ve been doing recently. I’m complaining about people treating me like a child or a weakling, but I keep letting them.

Astria was right, wasn’t she? Why do I keep ignoring that?

I had myself convinced for a while that I was making a difference, but that wasn’t true. Not after what I saw last night, after what I was unable to prevent because of my half-assed philosophy.

I will put myself first.

I will be selfish.

Resolved? Good.

At this stage, I am a captive again. The restrictions on me are tighter. Gai’s not going to let me leave. I’ve gauged his abilities from watching him spar and during fights in Water’s Bastion. Still, I need to see his response to me in this situation. It’s an imperative factor in my escape.

“Interesting,” I slur. Quickly, I stand and make my way towards the window.

“Scarlet?” Gai suddenly says, shocked.

I step onto the windowsill.

A hand immediately pulls me back into the room.

“What are you doing?” Gai is behind me now. His gaze fills with concern.

“Trying to leave. I’m already going stir-crazy. Everyone’s suffocating me. I need air.”

“You can’t leave. You lost that right, you know that don’t you?” Gai is perplexed by my reasoning as if it’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard.

“Then come with me,” I order him.

“No, the Baron said you have to stay in the castle from now on.”

“Since when did you become such an un-fun prick?”

“Since I realized you could die.”

Ow.

“After this conversation, I’m not letting you out of my sight again,” Gai divulges.

“Then all I have to do is take you out.”

A tendril lashes from my back.

Gai disappears.

In a fraction of a second, a hand is on the base of my neck, holding me steady. A blade has cut through my tendril, one Gai keeps hidden on himself just in case.

“Wow, you’re fast.” I giggle. “This is eerily similar to what you did to Christopher, isn’t it?”

“It’s a gift.”

“Literally,” I say. “So you use your ability to make yourself disappear, you focus on speed, and the difference makes it seem like you’re disappearing and reappearing instantly, yes?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks for showing me,” I reply, indignant.

“Don’t do stuff like that.”

“Because I can’t beat you?”

“Yes.”

“That’s no fun.”

Gai releases me. I stumble forward slightly. Turning, I watch as Gai returns his knife to his side. “I told your father I’d watch and keep you safe, so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m sorry. I know this is out of character for me, but desperate times call for shit like this. Be patient, all right?”

I relax. “Fine. At least for a day or two. I’ll start complaining again later.”

Gai sighs. “That’s something.”

Walking away, I plop back down in my bed. “I thought you were doing the night shift. Go get Remi.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Gai trolls. He raises a hand to his mouth. “Remi! Come get Scarlet!”

I roll my eyes.

Remi and Gai are going to be my followers. The killer will be back in one week at night. That means I have to find a way to deal with Gai by then and get my swords back since they were taken from me.

Gai will have his guard up for the foreseeable future. That little demonstration shows he’s always going to be quick to react, even if I go for a sneak attack. His combative awareness is too strongly honed. He never looks like he struggles in a fight. If I had to guess, he’s probably the strongest person in this castle behind Van Gallan and my master. Don’t know about my father since I’ve never seen him fight.

I’ll need to find a way to drop his guard altogether.

Hmmm.

Ah.

No, that’s mean.

But…it’ll work.

Can I even do that?

I…I must…