Shortly after Cru leaves, I step back into my shadow realm. The abundance of life mana is enough that it transcends realms. Golden Mana Trees are otherworldly in their terms of power and mystery. One tree anchored this entire island to a new realm. That same tree gave Roxi the powers of a lich. Had she not been so foolish and tried to leverage the tree as much as she did, she could still be terrorizing Gene in bitter warfare. Cru has taken his devoted spiders and raised them beyond faithful pets. He has over a thousand full-fledged awakened worshipers — all bound to him. Wolvsden now has two trees of power growing in its ground and two more cultivating with their bonded beings.

Amid a fortune of life mana, I open my soul and begin binding my fifth core to the golden energy. A part of me is worried the binding won't work. I'm still unsure why I haven't been able to bind water, which eats at the back of my mind occasionally. The other part of me is confident in the instructions given by Cru and even the Golden Mana Tree itself. I can't bind the tree, but I can use its mana for my cultivation.

I shouldn't feel special. Practically everyone benefits from the tree's rich mana when they cultivate. I allow myself to feel special anyway. The tree specifically said I can use it to bind to life. That's gotta mean something. Beyond that, life has chosen to haunt me.

Every time I wake up from a dead sleep, life greets me. It's on my mind when I try to sleep at night, fight through the day, and even bond with others. Life is my ally in my fight against death. I feel its scorn when I diminish one of its vessels and its blessing when I share my strength. Life is the source that nourishes, protects, and saves. I don't deserve it, but I will endeavor to champion its cause.

I continue to hype up life and myself with similar sayings and phrases. It's silly, but I don't fight the process. I want life to be a part of me, and it doesn't matter that it's only for the healing power. Who doesn't want healing powers… probably people who can't die. Those people still feel pain, though; they can still get hurt. I can still get hurt. I almost died because I couldn't breathe. The last time, I was only saved because I could apply quick healing, which drained most of my mana. With the power of life, I can protect myself and others from pain and hurt. I can save others who don't have the luxury of immortality.

Golden mana gathers and condenses as I continue to reason with life energy. Life wraps around me like a heavy blanket stuffed with the softest feathers and woven from the finest threads. The embrace is so warm that I have to fight my eyes from closing. My head is heavy, and the ground entices me like it's the world's perfect pillow. In this state, I don't doubt. I'm not even sure why I'm fighting. Clearly, life wants me to nap.

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All signs point to go. I close my eyes and begin lowering my head. The mana around me repulses, and the comforts wrapping me withdraw. Ten out of ten, this is the worst bonding experience, and death was overly aggressive. I snap out of my catoses and begin enticing life with extra peppy talk. After two hours of fighting off sleep, I finally have it. Golden life mana binds to my fifth core.

I'm no longer tired. Energy and excitement exude from my soul. Practicing some control, I close my eyes and inspect my soul. Bound tightly to my fifth layer is the golden energy. With the energy inside, I'm at ease. The peace and comfort I felt before now hug me from the inside. It's wild, and I love it. No wonder why all the life cultivators are so cheery and charismatic. Life is a drug, and they're at a constant high.

Following Cru's instruction, I entice the golden mana to cycle by again, propping it up with motivation. Life is so cool. Life is so great. Life is a gift. Through the goblin's experience, I learned that convincing the energy to react takes little effort. Simple, pleasant thoughts are more effective than flowery compliments — a sentiment about life I greatly respect. The peaceful mana pumps through my channels. I have a stronger connection to the world around me. The Golden Mana Tree is an absolute relic. There is so much life present.

Golems made of plants and vegetation form in my mind's eye. I continue to coarse the energy to obey. It does not. Despite my connection to the life mana around me, I can not control it. I summon an orb of the golden mana, pulling it from my channels and directing it to my hand. There is no hesitation, and the mana acts according to my will. I form the ball into a spear and then a sword. Again, the mana obeys. I reach out to the vast power beyond my orb, enticing and willing it to take shape. Spears, daggers, orbs of mana… at this point, I will take anything. The external mana doesn't respond.

"Interesting," Gene's wolf clone says, melding out of a deep shadow. It appears you may not be the typical templar." These are not the words I want to hear. The disappointment hurts, actually, even if it was expected. My soul is shattered; as much as I want it to be normal, it just isn't.

Realization begins to sink in about all the power I won't control. The dreamer wants to think it isn't so I can be as strong as mages and sages. I can't summon spheres of healing to rescue an entire army. I can't reanimate a battlefield, call down spears, raise barriers of protection. I have no domain outside myself to exert my influence. Hell, even the strength of templars is fantastic. The realist knows now that power will never be mine. I have all the cores of a mage, but I'm stuck at the power of a lancer.

I take a deep breath, accepting what is. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know what will be. I do know what is, and that is all I can control. A couple more breaths, and I reign in my early excitement. With that under control, I begin dismantling the disappointment.

"Gene," I lift my head. The wolf looks back at me. "Care to help me with some training? We have a trip to prepare for."