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3.22. Entangled Freedom

Cru's sleep was tough last night. Unlike the night before, when he struggled with the whirlwind of change, he could not stop thinking about Jim's words last night. Jim and these people accepted him into their fold. Even when he did not bind himself to the dungeon, like everyone else, they still treated him kindly. He did not even explain that he wanted to or could not. They accepted him. When he ran, they tried to call him back. He was not hounded for missing a meeting when he returned later. They welcomed him warmly.

How can he allow himself to stay with these people when he is a potential threat to them. The Eternal Darkness dungeon will find a way to exploit him.

The thought of him bringing destruction to his new life… to everyone's new life rips into his gut as deep as his longing to belong. How ironic now that he has a place. It feels too fragile for him to stay. He tried voicing his fears to Jim. His friend doubled down on his decision to let him stay, even welcoming the risks.

No, Cru can not stay. At least not as he is now. He will not be a liability. Keeping his thoughts to himself, the goblin sneaks out of his private house. Dozens of these houses have been constructed to shelter everyone while the guild hall is being rebuilt. His heart burned when he learned they built him a place of his own. More drastic changes are happening even now before the sun rises. The mountain orc has slept less than the goblin, and there is a constant torrent of earth mana around and underneath the guild hall.

Mana fluctuation is not the only thing the druid notices when he steps outside. Despite the stubborn cold air trying to maintain its silencing grip on the world, fighting has begun in the training grounds. Maybe Jim has slept less than him as well. The drifter has his own struggles, not that one can easily tell. The islander carries a persistent smile and constantly engages with others, at least during the day. When night hits, he is haunted by his thoughts and flees the solitude of his own room. Hopefully, he can find peace. Maybe Cru can help him in that endeavor when he returns. Perhaps he can even join him in his morning sparring sessions. He is not strong like the dragon or crafty like the dryad, but well, he could learn. Cru would like that.

Walking away is not easy. Cru did not think it would be, but he did not believe it would be this hard. Even knowing he is returning, he still struggles to sneak away. One last look, he kept telling himself. One more look, and then I will go. Part of the problem is that he does not know where he is going. He just feels he needs to leave. If it is not his guilt and fear beckoning him to leave town, then life mana is calling for him. Somewhere.

Cru sneaks past the crumpled walls and the security in place. His spiders on guard do not attempt to stop or even question him. The vigilant arachnids maintain their posts and keep the broken town safe. Since the conversion of Roxi, there have been no attacks on the town. Even the demon sightings in the woods have quieted. His spiders have only encountered three threats they could not bring down alone. Two minotaurs and a wild dryad fox. The three did not last long against Fury and Gene. The dragon and wyvern surprised the trio from above the trees, and the rest was a quick cleanup.

"Leaving so soon?" The voice of the former queen of the spiders catches Cru mid-stride. A wave of unease pulses through his body. His hands tense, and he consciously releases his mana into his core. Does anyone sleep around here?

"For the time being," Cru says, half turning to face Annette. The scholar is clothed in a crimson-red nightgown. Her front arms are covered in the light fabric of her dress, which only reaches her mid-thigh in length. The fabric itself is a material Cru is not aware of, and it pulses with enough mana that he rules out simple webbing. Unlike his priestesses, Annette's appearance is more human than spider. The only clues giving away her identity are the large eyes, sharp teeth, and heart-shaped face. Even her extra sets of arms are hidden.

"And yet, you were not planning on telling any of us. Not even Jim."

"Jim already convinced me to stay a day longer. If I try to say goodbye, I will not be able to leave at all."

"I see. You do not want to go."

"My spiders will stay and add protection," says Cru. Right after, he adds, "I will not be gone long, "He Hopes to make his absence justifiable.

"You do not have to justify anything to us. Whether you are bound to the dungeon or not, you are a part of our team. If you need to leave for a moment, that is fine. I only stopped you to let you know you will be welcome and expected to return."

"Do you really trust me, just like Jim?" The goblin can not believe these people. How can they be so trusting and naive?

"No, I do not, and I do not have to trust anyone — not that I have invaded your mind seeking validation. Simply put, Jim trusts you, and that is enough for me."

"And what makes him such a good judge of character?" Cru did not want to say the words. He really did like Jim; after all, the guy was his first friend. Still, someone must be pragmatic, and the one he expects to be is acting far from it. "The man doesn't even remember his name or who he was. How can his judgment be trusted?"

"And yet, here you are sneaking away to not let him or these people down. You may believe he is wrong to trust you. I share the same concerns about myself during my weaker moments. The fact that he trusts me anyway compels me not to let him down. After all, he gave me a chance even after I imprisoned and tortured him. And like you, I do not want to disappoint him. So go on your mission, and when it is done, come back with no doubt that you are coming home. We will be waiting for you." The heavy words sink deep into his chest, surrounding him in warmth.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

With the blessing of Annette, Cru steps land lightly into the woods. Instead of heading east to the lake, he turns south. If he keeps this path, he will reach the river that feeds the lake mountain water collected from late snow, rain, and underground reservoirs in half a mile. Though most of the snow has melted this time of year, the nights are already getting longer, and the air is colder. Seasons are changing, and with that, new challenges will come.

Walking through the forest, Cru can feel the sadness of the trees here. Most have been uprooted from their sprouting spot and forced into a battle against his spiders. Deep cuts scour the trees. Limbs litter the ground. Without hesitation, the goblin cycles his earth mana and feeds the energy to the forest. He heals what he can and pushes out any corruption trying to seep in. As he does so, he feels a greater connection to this place.

Halfway to the river, the druid feels a part of himself returning. Only Trish and Gwen walk the forest ground. His three remaining Priestesses follow him above in the trees. Since yesterday, his spiders have been acting differently. Even now, they are much less zealous in their approach to him. Their worship almost seems subdued in a way. Not wanting to prolong the delay before they reach him, Cru stops his journey and faces the spiders.

The two soldiers halt on the steps and reverently bow their heads. Cru looks up to see Diti, Shelby, and Strider descending from the trees. When they land next to Trish and Gwen, they drop their heads as well.

My Lord. The first of his spiders, his regent, barely lifts her head as she addresses him. We seek forgiveness and ask for a favor. Forgiveness? It takes self-control not to shake his head. When he was alone in the woods, all this worship didn't feel so strange. A part of him needed it, even enjoyed it. Now, it feels a bit off. Cru is no god, yet he holds these spiders' lives in his hands.

My priestesses. Cru bows his head in return. He does not love the worship aspect of their relationship, but he does appreciate his spiders. They were there for him when he needed them, and he will be there for them when they need him. It is a part of their bond. What needs forgiveness? I am not aware of any wrongdoing.

My Lord, we have been selfish in our worship. Instead of raising her head like Diti, Shelby bows deeper. Of all his spiders, he feels the most life mana radiating from her. We tried to push our worship… our image of a God, onto you, not stopping to think about what you wanted or how you wanted to be worshiped. This is strange. Come to think of it, Cru never tried to establish any form of religion. He let the spiders worship how they wanted. He, indeed, is not fit for this role. He didn't see how anyone could be.

I appreciate that. To Cru's surprise, the spider's words actually filled him with warmth, lifting a small weight off of his shoulders. I am sorry I have not given you much direction. I… The spiders let out a reactionary hiss to his apology. Right. To them, he is infallible. How can I help you? He looks at each of them directly.

My Lord, we would be grateful for more instruction, and we want to know how we can be of better use, says Diti.

Can you call me by name for one? There is a softer hiss, which is quickly silenced.

My Lo—Cru… we will work on that, says Shelby. Cru did not expect the priestesses to give any ground here. Religion is unpredictable.

Next, I want our relationship to be more based on friendship than worship. I will still be your god, but I want to be friends. This feels really weird, but the goblin pushes past his discomfort. Their worship can become less weird if he can establish the right path. I do not want to be raised on a pillar bowed to. I want friends. I want to know your thoughts and fears, and I want you to know mine. What do you want out of life? How can I help you get it? Do you know what I want? If not, how can you help me… how can you claim to belong to me. Cru pauses and takes a deep swallow. The words flow out more passionately than he intends. He can not deny the effectiveness, though. Instead of hisses, he gets bows.

"Good," says Cru, feeling more confident in his position. My desire is to keep my friends safe. All of them. That includes you. His hands motion to the spiders. All of my spiders and the people in that town." He points back to the town. That means we all need to get stronger. I am leaving now to find more strength. He prepares himself for pushback. The new direction and his leaving will not sit well with his spiders.

That's… Trish's voice sounds through their bond. We swear to follow your orders. We will grow stronger while you are away and keep your friends safe. All five priestesses bow their heads and hold their right fist to their chest.

Not just my friends. I want them to be your friends, too. This is our home. These are our people. As strange as the words sound, they feel right. In his heart, Cru knows this is where he wants to be. Despite his fears and uncertainties, he knows he has a life here so long as he can cut the ties that hold him back. His spiders must have felt his fervor as well. Each priestess looks as determined as he feels. They nod their heads, accepting his command.

Being their god might not be so demanding after all. The delight he feels from this turn of events reaches his lips. Cru again turns away from home with happiness in his heart to secure his future.