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2.3. Raw Bones

“What is this place?” Bones asks, his energy radiating wonderment. “Where are we? Is this space? Did we make it into space? Oh man, we are totally in space right now.”

Fury scans the open abyss. He looks eager to be off the ground. His wings all but extended. Somehow the nightmare dragon’s pitch-black scales make the surrounding space look less dark. Restlessly Fury checks the surroundings. Once, twice, and once more. Despite his anxieties on the ground, the hulking dragon doesn’t leave the duo’s side.

“So cool.” Bones fascinates more over nothing. “Do we need to be doing something? We should be doing something.” He looks to Annette and then to Fury. Neither have a clue what to do and offer no suggestions.

“Alright, let’s walk that way.” The skeleton points in a random direction and begins walking toward it with unearned confidence. “Fury, while we greatly appreciate your company, I know I feel safe when you are around, how about you go fly on ahead and check it out.”

If the command coming from a much smaller, weaker, bone minion bothers the dragon at all, the Fury does not show it. Midnight wings extend and displaced air blows Nette’s hair away from her face as the dragon takes flight. In a matter of seconds, Fury is miles away.

“Damn it,” Bones curses. “We could have used the ride. Oh well, I guess we walk. No use stewing on what we should have done. That’s more of a T’am thing to do. Though — and I am not complaining — you would think the dungeon core would put us where we need to be. This displacement is kind of inconvenient… and cruel.”

“At least it isn’t desert.” He mumbles after some silence.

The two walk for miles in the space. Through it, all Bones keeps talking. Annette has yet to utter a word. She’s still taken aback by all this mystery. She has no words for this place and even if she did, Bones has said them all. Probably twice already. Lost in silent wonder she examines the emptiness always expecting to see something and still is amazed when there is nothing to see.

“Thank you, Annette,” Bones says after another extended period of silence. “I don’t know if I thanked you properly for sticking up for me during the ritual. So, I wanted to be sure to do so now.”

The appreciation startles her. She can’t think of a time when she was ever on this side of appreciation. In all her years as a familiar she was grateful for her two masters. They were helping her grow in strength. They were giving her knowledge. Everything she did for them was to pay back the debt she so greatly owed them.

Her sisters never showed appreciation either. It isn’t really in the spider’s nature. The spider is the top predator in their domain. What they receive they deserve. There is no need to be thankful for what already belongs to you. So even as their queen, her sisters never thanked her.

“I knew I could do it. T’am did too. We both wanted to push Gene for another chance. We just couldn’t. We didn’t know how to ask to risk her people or prolong the process that was draining her… Sticking your foot out for me meant a lot.”

“The core was yours to bind. It was the agreement we all made. I only said what was needed to be said to get the job done.” Annette isn’t exactly sure why she stood up for Bones. She very well could have been the binder of the core. She could be the head boss. That wasn’t what she wanted, she had to admit to herself. Her years of trying to lead her sisters have greatly reduced her fascination with leading.

“Still, I am grateful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” A small warmth fills the queen. Her steps in the emptiness become lighter or she doesn’t seem to mind the steps as much anymore. She feels good.

Bone’s demeanor turns sullen; his gait is hesitant. After a few steps of hesitation, he stops walking. “This is not a good apology, but it is still an apology. We had to kill your spiders and I am sorry.”

Her hand acts faster than her thoughts. Pain courses through the knuckles as her flesh breaks upon the skeleton's jaw. Once. Twice. Dark purple ichor covers the once colorless jaw. She goes to strike another time but holds herself back. All the warmth she felt seconds ago is now bitterness and fury. She shakes her hand as she gains control. “Those were my sisters. You didn’t have to kill any of them.”

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Other than flinching from the backhands, Bones does not respond. He looks at her with his dead eyes full of mana. What should be void of emotion is full of regret. “We are both sorry. I am sorry.”

Bones’ hollow look is a sharp contrast to how full she is with rage. Rage at the slaughter. Rage at sending her sisters to attack. Rage for being too scared to fight herself. Rage for betrayal.

Most frustrating, she finds, is her rage isn’t focused on the skeleton or his master minion. Her anger and frustration should be directed at them. Instead, it is that her sisters always wanted more. Annette always wanted more for them as well. However, their worship and their ideals of progression plagued their progress. They wanted a god, and Annette wanted sisters. To equal… to be family. Neither would budge and corruption grew between them. She couldn’t be what the spiders wanted, and they wouldn’t do what was needed for them to grow on their own.

Annette had to accept she failed her sisters. It was just hard. She had sacrificed so much on their behalf, but it was never enough — not for their hunger and their ideals. Though it pained her to see them die, Annette knew death was imminent if things continued the way they were. The forest was nearly dead because of them, and food was growing scarce.

More miles pass. Whether Bones is talking or not Annette is not sure. Being so close to the problem all the time made it hard to see the problem for what it was. Space, it turns out is what Annette needed. With space comes clarity. The problem was her.

“I know.” She should say more words. She wants to. They are forming in her mind what she needs to say. Yet they never come out. The truth spoken out loud is too hard to face.

Bones turns his empty eyes toward her, the mana emanating from them feels like a relief. “So, no hard feelings then? I mean you can be upset with me and T’am, that’s fair, just now that we are ‘team dungeon’ — name pending — there is no room for hate.” Bones stops walking stopping Annette in the process. His question is earnest.

Annette takes another moment to search herself. She had given T’am an oath out of desperation. She agreed to the dungeon because of the opportunity. That didn’t mean she didn’t have some anger towards the two that caused so much death. The anger was there. Though, now, more of the anger is placed on herself and her shortcomings.

“We are good,” She responds tersely.

“And what about yourself?”

“What about myself?”

“Are you good with yourself? No hard feelings or resentment? We have been walking for miles and you have been mostly sullen. If your anger is focused on me still, I’d suspect I’d be much more purple.”

“I… you…” The words drop from Annette’s lips. “I… I don’t know. I might need some more time.” She raises her hand once again. This time she wipes her blood from Bones’ skull. “I’m sorry.” Finally, some of the words she was searching for earlier surface. “You deserved that though.”

“I know.” Bones begins walking again. “We have plenty of time it seems. Let me know when you are ready.”

Fury is long gone into the distance. Bones might even be lost in all the space. Surrounding Bones and Annette is blank space, even the ground they walk on is more absence of anything. There is no way Fury will be able to return anytime soon if he can return at all.

“I hate the name Team Dungeon.” Bones breaks the silence once again. “It felt so right at the time. We were all standing there like a bunch of misfits working for a common purpose. I think I fell in love with the team aspect. It’s lonely with T’am. He looks like he would be a talker, but the guy is mostly silent. He blames it on me. I argue he didn’t start talking until I came along.”

Shockingly Annette has not found the skeleton’s endless banter to be painful to endure. His enthusiasm and willingness to share his opinion on everything the nothingness has to offer fill the void in the hollow space and a little of her emptiness.

“If I can change our name, I am going to change it. I hope I can change it. We have wolves, a dragon, and a spider. There has got to be something we can do with that. The Dragon Wolves…”

Annette only half listens as she replays all the ways she let her sisters down. In the end, she was unfit to lead. In so many ways she let her sisters down. If she could do it over again, she would be better. Which is easy to see here and now. She could be better. She could do better. When she makes it out of this place Annette will be the queen her sisters need.

Given space and time, Annette makes strides in personal growth. She wasn’t a good queen and that caused many spiders to die. That caused the forest to suffer. She analyzes her mistakes over and over learning from them. The more she learns, the less frustrated she becomes with her incompetence. In time, her anger and resentment slowly give way. Over and over, she replays the thought. I can do better. I can be better.

Unaware, her fist clenches are her zeal hardens. She can do better. She can be better. Emptiness turns to hunger. A chance to prove her new resolve. She can do better. She can be better. This last time she feels the words in her entire being, and her clenched fist slowly rises, if only a little.

“I’m good,” Annette says to her walking companion who seems to be deep in thought. What he is thinking about is unknown. For once, Bones isn’t spewing nonsense.