I find the life shepherd resting his back on the tree in meditation. The Golden Mana Tree supports much of the ecosystem in the underground. Much of what is done down here is possible because of the tree's vibrant mana supply, and now I know the tree is doing more to benefit our people. Likewise, Cru supports much of Wolvsden's way of life. It's his trees he's donated to the town, his spiders that aid in security, and his cult that embodies hope. The goblin is a walking miracle. How he's bonded and awakened so many spiders is still a great mystery. Gene believes it's his binding to the tree that is allowing his devoted spiders to awaken. Just as Bones is a walking army of death, Cru is an army of life.

"Done partying?" I ask the life shepherd.

"Not even close." Cru opens his eyes. Despite his restful state, I don't see any heaviness in his lids. Instead, he looks anxious, like he's waiting for something. "Just resting before the party really starts." He glances at me, his eyes catching on my beard for a second before he looks me in the eye.

"Well, please pardon the intrusion." I can't help but smile as I see the shine of the Golden Mana Tree reflecting from his chin. "I'm afraid I've reached a dilemma, and I'm wondering if you can help me through it?" Gene's plan weighs heavily on my mind. I disagree that we bring Remny into the Greater Shadow Realm, but I trust Matron's decision.

"I am glad to help." Cru jumps to his feet. His quick response makes me feel like I'm the event he's waiting for. I know I'm not. Everyone knows the real party starts hours after the children go to bed. The life shepherd runs a hand through his golden mohawk, the latest style adopted by our scouting teams. I'm unsure who started it, but I'm guessing I'm looking at the source. Most likely, it was a lost bet after drinking with Bloom. "What do you need help with today? More confidence? A confession?" The last, he says with a wry smile.

"Both, actually." I counter with a wry smile of my own. Cru perks up even more, putting him two or three inches taller than me. Benefits of bonding a Golden Mana Tree, I guess. "As you know, I'm going with a small group to Shadow tomorrow."

"Yeah, I am sorry I can not join you. Maybe —"

"It's OK. You have too much to do with our expansion. We need you here."

"Still, I am sad to miss out on the mission."

"You can still help. Our party will be at risk in the Greater Shadow Realm — not permanent death, but potential pain and harm. I'm hoping to minimize the risk."

"So you want to kill me and absorb life skills." Cru nods like his plan is a practical and casual affair. "OK, then."

"No. Yes. No. Get off your knees." The goblin turns his head, eyeing me with a question, and slowly returns to his feet. "I want you to help me bind to life mana."

"That is what I am doing. I figured it was only a matter of time before you sought my life. I am honored you think so highly of me that you would ask. Now I can be considered among the greats like Gene, Fury, and Nette who have already sacrificed their lives for the First Sword." Cults are fun until they get carried away. Offering up sacrifices just might be the tipping point. Soon, we will move on from offers to demands at this rate. Then things will get real crazy.

"No, I don't need you to sacrifice your life. I need you to teach me."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at my soul first, and then we can talk." Cru continues to look at me with questions in his eyes, which soon turn to focus. The veil I keep around my soul is dropped long enough for the former druid to see the truth.

"You are a mage!"

"Shhh!" I try to silence the wide-eyed, open-mouth goblin. In a moment of fear, I pull the two of us into shadow. I probably should have done this step earlier, or mind link us. Oh well. You can't have regrets if you don't make bad choices. And life isn't full if it isn't filled with regrets… or something like that. The old saying got lost with my memories.

"I am sorry. Why the secrets, though?"

"You know, I'm not sure. I think it makes me feel secure."

"I see." The goblin winks and nods his head. "It is a confidence thing. Don't worry your secret is safe."

"Promise?" Is it just a confidence issue? Do I feel insecure about my power level? Like... I should be stronger, or I don't want people to think more of me, only for them to be underwhelmed by my actual power. Initially, I thought my secrets were to keep me safe somehow, like a hidden blade. I guess I don't know. Maybe I just don't like people knowing so much about me and becoming their latest mystery to unravel.

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"Sure, though, if you want to capitalize on the mystery points, I can whisper a few words to the Synth Sisters. No major details, just subtle hints." I've never felt so exposed, and my repulsion must've made it to my face. "I'll keep my mouth shut. Maybe you can just mind-wipe me afterward. We will go with that."

Now, it's my turn to look at the goblin with questions. Nobody likes their mind to be tinkered with, especially getting knowledge wiped. That's overly invasive. I know from first-hand experience learning the technique from Nette. Unlike the spider queen, I can't remove memories without permission from the mind. Nette and, to an extent, Noth can wipe memories from unprotected minds.

"Secrets make friends," Cru says matter-of-factly. "The Synth Sisters have been helping me with my socializing. You really should join our brunch sessions. Bloom says if people know you like talking about secrets, they will be open to exchanging their goods for yours. The more secrets you have, the more opportunity you have to engage in juicy conversation."

"That sounds a lot like Nette's Sisters. And Gene… And Nette."

"Oh, they are some of our loyal brunchers." Once again, I feel exposed. "No worries. Your soul has not been much of your talking points. For now, everyone is obsessed with your sword and how you wield it. It is actually ruining brunch, if I am honest. You will be greatly missed, though I am glad you will be gone for a bit."

"If you tell me I can trust you, I will."

"You can not trust me, at least not with this juicy insider information. A secret like this will surely boost my brunch standings. I insist you do not leave me with this power." I carefully analyze my friend. I know he's become quite the socializer; I didn't know he's in so deep he's politicking for standing. Should I be concerned about Cru? There's no hint of ire when he speaks of brunch. Quite the opposite. The goblin is fond of second breakfast. Maybe I've underestimated brunch's power.

Brunch's power… Is this another cult in the works? The Cult of Brunch? Do I need to be concerned about the growing gossip mongers among us? Do I need to join them? No, they will pick me apart. I'll be weaker than Cru, folding at the knees to expose my truths. The best step forward is to remove Cru's memories and then my own.

"You talked me into it," I say, reaching a confident decision. "I will pull this memory from you." My confidence in my choice grows as Cru no longer looks ready to bolt from my shadow to find his nearest bruncher. Instead, he relaxes and closes his eyes.

"Thank you." Cru keeps his eyes closed and sits in a meditative position. "Everything I know about binding to life, my skills, insights, and knowledge about the Golden Mana Tree is ready for you to learn."

"Wait, I don't want to bind to the tree."

"You can use the tree's golden mana to bind to life, but the tree will not let you bind to it. Your soul is too tainted and incompatible."

"Probably could've just left it at incompatible, but who am I to judge a tree?" That should've been an internal dialogue. I already have regrets.

"Your taint is stronger. Treena insists you know this about yourself." Yup. Regrets. "But it appreciates you looking after its arborist."

Firmly rooted in my tree standing, I reach out with a mind link and connect to the life shepherd. Cru has abundant knowledge of his chosen mana, or more precisely, the mana that chose him. Carefully, I pull in the knowledge he willingly shares. Though the act can't be any further than what I'm doing, I feel like the luckiest plunderer finding all the loot at the cave entrance. My pockets are stuffed twice over. Skills are pooled in my shirt cup, with my arms hugging the side.

After grabbing all the knowledge I can, the dark cave behind the treasure beckons me to explore further. The best rewards take time to gain. Deeper into the dungeon, all the wealth and power remain. The cave calls louder and louder, bidding me, enticing me. I run away from the cave with my pockets full of loot as fast as possible.

Our connection breaks. I'm heaving for air. Cru is happier than I've ever seen him.

"You are a good friend, Jim. Once you remove my memory, I will leave you to your cultivation." Was that a test? Did I get tested?

I renew the mind link between the two of us. It's easier now than ever, almost like a link between companions. I don't actually want to remove the knowledge about me from Cru. We agree that secrets make friends, but our interpretations of how friends are made are opposites. Cru and others like to create and trade secrets. I want to hold and protect them.

Part of me feels like not trusting the goblin to protect my secret is taking a step back. I know it's foolish. But at the same time, it's not like I've been a closed book. Most of the Rising Fist knows I'm a lich. They know I'm missing memories and that I'm a capable sword fighter. However, only Gene, Nette, Bones, and now Cru know about my rank and broken soul.

Maybe it isn't insecurities but more common practice. Quite a few sages here keep their power in reserve, even holding back in fights. Lana is for sure a mage, yet she presents herself as a templar. She might even be a rare dual-core cultivator or have high replication powers. She's not even the only mage who keeps her power level low. There is at least one more here and quite possibly another.

I push my insecurities aside. I trust Cru completely, and that is enough for me. With delicate precision, I latch onto Cru's offered memories and remove them. Just before I break the connection, a golden chest surrounded by thick metal plating with a deadbolt keeping it shut appears. Another test. There is no temptation to break the lock; there's not even a desire to know what's inside. Whatever Cru holds in that thought is sacred to him.

The link between us is cut off as soon as I end the tether. Cru gets up, and I take us out of shadow. "Thanks again for the help."

"Thank you, Jim." I'm unsure why he's thanking me, and I wonder if Cru knows why, too. Perhaps another test that I passed. The goblin abruptly hugs me, pushing me off balance, but he keeps me upright. I feel like I took away a part of our friendship, but Cru acts like our bonds have strengthened. For me, that's enough. I accept the embrace and give a couple bro pats on his back.

We say our goodbyes and part ways. Cru returns to the party; I prepare to bind life mana.