There it sat, looking as inviting as ambrosia of the gods.

Poopy reached its arms out to grasp the pile of dung, then attempted to absorb it.

The Truffle Grass renders your efforts ineffective. -1 MP.

Drats! Was it just going to starve to death like that? Poopy opened its mouth to shout in frustration, sounding like yet another flush of a toilet. Then it realised something. The grass only grew outside of it, so the golem could shove the dung down its throat instead!

You have absorbed your element, making you bigger and stronger!

+67% Body Mass

Poopy's hunger faded right away, but it wasn't from the taste. I could have spent an entire paragraph describing how delicious the golem found the dung, but I think that might ruin your appetite. Poopy jumped in joy, glad that the sensation of hunger was now gone.

Level up!

Congratulations, you are now level 1!

+12 Stat points.

+10 Max HP.

+10 Max MP.

Wait, what was the panel talking about? Poopy didn't understand, but decided to ignore the panel for now. With its hunger resolved, poopy wanted to get rid of the plants that grew on it. However, Poopy was unsure of what to do and could only continue to wander to search for more tasty dung. Unfortunately, none was found after an hour. You might think dung would be found all over the place in a forest, but plants in this forest grew unnaturally fast and absorbed them quickly, even growing on Poopy. Angered, the golem stomped on a mushroom on the grass in fustration. Oddly fitting of Poopy's stomp, footsteps sounded out all of a sudden, followed by a shout.

"Look! A rare monster!"

Two kids ran over towards the golem, swinging little swords in excitement as they ran over. Rare monsters were monsters that did not usually appear in the set location. Killing them would yield huge amounts of experience, easily allow people to advance many levels and even having a slight chance to learn skills from the monster! Most of the time, rare monsters were very powerful and to be feared, but this was a newbie area with only weak monsters! Not to mention, the grass covered golem the size of a kitten didn't look too threatening. Well, technically, Poopy wasn't a rare monster, but a unique monster. The kids would be in more of a frenzy if they knew, but unique monsters were usually country destroying dragons and such, so the notion wasn't even considered.

"Wait, we need to share the experience! Each of us takes turns to hit it, okay?"

"No! It's my turn to kill the monster this time!"

While the kids argued over how the golem's experience should be split, Poopy got offended hearing about their plans to mercilessly cut it down.

"What is wrong with you people? I come along for a walk and the next thing I know, you bunch of weirdos want to kill me for no reason!"

The children froze, hearing the monster talk. Breaking the ice, Charles decided to speak up.

"Bah, who cares if it can talk! I say we kill it anyway for the experience!"

The vicious kid glanced behind himself, hoping to garner support, but realised to his dismay that his buddy was hesitant.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"But Charles, the monster can think and speak! I don't think it's right to kill it just for the sake of leveling up!"

Edward spoke up timidly as he looked towards his feet in shame. He felt guilty all of a sudden for hunting those little monsters with Charles. Was there a chance that they too were able to think but unable to speak unlike the golem?

"Hah, you're an idiot Edward. Who care if it can think, it's free experience!"

"But-"

"No excuses Edward, you kill, or you aren't my friend anymore!"

"I.. I..."

Ignoring his friend's plight, Charles swung his sword towards the tiny golem but tripped over a rock and fell on his face, certainly an effective way to start a fight. Poopy took the chance and activated its "secret art" in defence, pointing both of its arms at Charles.

The Truffle Grass renders your efforts ineffective. -1 MP.

Poopy was enraged, did this stupid grass have to always stop it from doing anything? Poopy decided to run forward and punch Charles instead.

You have punched your target. Target HP -1.

Your Strength has been exercised.

+1 STR.

You have learnt Basic Barehanded Combat.

+1 DMG when attacking the foe barehanded.

Due to the squishiness of the golem, some of the dung squirted out beneath the grass and spattered across Charles's shirt.

"Ewwww! What the heck is this brown goop?"

Charles reeled at the disgusting sensation and smell. He reached out a hand to wipe it off instinctively, only to have the dung get stuck to his hand as well. Poopy took the chance to throw another punch, making more of the gross substance stick onto Charles.

"Ahhh!"

Charles couldn't take it anymore and ran, not wanting to deal with the unusual monster, especially after realising the substance that stuck to him smelled and felt identical to poop. Edward decided to follow as well, tagging along with his friend.

Achievement unlocked: Terror

Requirements: Scare away a foe at least ten levels higher than you in combat.

Rewards: +10 STR.

Poopy had a feeling that the feat was not supposed to be earned in this manner. Regardless, Poopy learnt one thing after the fight. It's body was made of something that scared it's foes a lot. First with the bunny, and now with the human. Perhaps it could use this to it's advantage in battle? Not to mention, the golem felt a lot stronger all of a sudden. It could now move it's limbs at much higher speeds and run faster. Was that how the attributes worked? Poopy had a sudden desire to know it's exact strength right now.

Info Stats Class Skills

Name Poopy Level 1 Species Cat Dung Golem Gender None Age 1 Day HP 30/30 MP 29/30

Name Value STR 13 MAG 0 DEX 10 AGI 5 DEF 5 INT 90

Name Level Progress                                          

Name Level Progress PC 1 50% BBC 1 0%