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The Kitty Litter (LitRPG)
Fishing With Poop Control (Chapter 35)

Fishing With Poop Control (Chapter 35)

It was when the golem reached the Beginner's Forest and had the time to think when it realised that Yowi would probably still not want to be friends with it even if it stopped stinking. The thought freaked it out. But as it calmed down, it thought of something: perhaps a gift would make Yowi like it better?

'Hey TG, what do you think I could give Yowi as a gift?'

TG: Yowi seems to be a type of wild cat. They like to eat fish, meat and catnip so maybe you could try gifting him those?

'Thanks TG! But what' are those?' the golem was clueless as usual.

TG: Well, a fish is a type creature that lives in water. Not all aquatic creatures are fish though, so use Scan to be sure. As for meat, it's the flesh of any dead land animal. Catnip is a small weed-like plant. Actually, you know what? I'll give you a quest to make your job easier. A quest marker will point you to where you should go.

Personal Quest: Gifts for Yowi

Requirements:

Fish of any type and amount

Meat of any type and amount

Catnip of any type and amount

Reward: Satisfaction?

EXP Bonus: None, sorry.

Accept?

Yes No

Immediately when Poopy hit the 'Yes' button, a red arrow with the word 'RIVER' on it appeared on the grass, pointing towards the river. The golem hopped onto Buggy, but the insect refused to move. 

"Buggy, go!" Poopy pointed forward.

WARNING: YOUR PET IS FEELING ABUSED! 

Abuse Metre: 1/10

Hitting 10 will cause the pet to to no longer be a pet.

Poppy: ....

"Fine, have it your way then!" shouted the golem after a short pause. 

The insect seemed to cheer up, swiftly digging a tunnel in the ground. It then went to lie inside lazily. Ah, bliss! Finally, the slave driver of a 'master' stopped using it as transport. Buggy felt at bliss.

Having no other choice, Poopy lamented at its lack of speed as it walked towards the river. But despite the golem's complains, it reached the river in mere minutes. It looked into the river and saw a few random creatures swimming about in the water. So Poopy scanned one of them.

Carp

LVL: 5

Species: Cyprinidae (Fish)

Type: Speedster

HP: 138/150

MP: 0

EXP upon kill: 30

Drops: ???

Oh. That was a fish. After that realisation, Poopy panicked. After the sewer incident, it had a deathly fear of water. There was no way it could go in and just fish the carp out! But at that moment, a dead fish floated across the surface of the water. The golem tried to grab it, but was too slow. So the fish floated away.

Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

Poopy was a little upset, but it got an idea! Remembering that any creature with their poop removed would fall over and clutch their rump, the golem wondered if doing that to the fish would make it float (it thought of floating as the aquatic version of falling over). This would not actually make the fish float however, as fish only float when there was a build up of gases after death. But Poopy had no idea that the floating fish was actually dead, so it used Poop Control anyway.

You used Poop Control on your target. Target HP -10.

The carp shot out of the water and hit the golem in the face much to its surprise. Poopy quickly expelled the water in alarm before starring at the poor creature flopping on the floor and gasping for air (water?) desperately. Looking at the miserable creature, it felt bad. But it steeled itself. This was for Yowi!

'TG, how do I put something in my inventory?' thought the golem.

TG: Just touch the what you want to keep as you think 'store'.

'Store!'

Carp stored.

Quest Progress...

1/1 Fish of any type or amount

The golem nabbed a few more fish from the river and nodded in satisfaction. This wasn't as hard as it thought it was going to be. It then headed off in search of meat. But for whatever reason, Poopy was unable to find any animals despite searching for a whole 5 minutes. It might not sound like a lot, but it felt pretty long to a 4 day old creature.

"Delicious! Damn, I didn't know you were such a great cook Issac!" suddenly, Poopy heard the voice of a man as it trudged around.

"Haha, cooking has always been my hobby!"

It instantly went on guard. Humans were tough and difficult to deal with! The golem considered running away, but curiosity nagged it. So after a few seconds of hesitation, it peeked at the group of three mud covered ragged men. One of them (Sexyboi96) was cutting slabs of meat from a dead boar and passing it to the blond one who was using a skillet, bonfire, oil, mushrooms and forest herbs to make some sort of mushroom flavoured steak. The last one (Proest_Pro) was being useless and scoffing from a bowl full of the cooked meat and mushrooms and not helping at all.

At that very instant, there was a red arrow that popped out of midair with the words 'QUEST ITEM' on it popped out in mid air and pointed to the dead boar. Poopy couldn't believe its eyes. The quest item it was looking for was just right there! It quickly jumped out behind the tree and charged towards the boar.

"Hey, what the hell is that!" shouted Sexyboi96 (Jake).

95% Boar Corpse stored.

Quest Progress...

1/1 Meat of any type or amount

"What the fuck!" shouted _Issac_ (Issac).

Proest_Pro (Eason), took one look at the smelly beast, decided NOPE and resumed eating his meal peacefully. But SexyBoi96 (Jake) was not happy! He lunge toward the running golem with his wooden sword. Poopy ducked but was hit on the head anyway since it sucked at dodging.

Ironvine negates the attack. 

The dung monster was pleased. To think that the Ironvine would be so useful! 

'Poop control!' it casted.

Error, no poop found in targets.

The golem was a little surprised but didn't find it out of the ordinary. After all, it had encountered several living things with no poop inside them. As it ran, a red arrow pointed toward a small weed-like plant with pretty purple flowers. Catnip!

Catnip Plant stored.

Quest Complete: 

Gifts For Yowi

Reward: Satisfaction?

EXP Bonus: None, sorry.

The golem was in a very good mood today. It got the nice moss and easily found the quest items. It soon reached its destination after running for a bit more. 

'Surely nothing could go wrong' thought Poopy as it stood in front of the door of the mushroom house. It morphed into the ugliest 'cat' in the universe and knocked the door, heart pounding all the while.