All things have an inside and outside, a back and a front. While some view these as opposing qualities, the truth is that they often give rise to each other, like yin and yang. Society, too, has an inside and outside. Within there are the parts that are treated as socially acceptable. Without are the outskirts and fringes. The latter are often seen as in opposition to society. But often, they have a symbiotic relationship, though not necessarily to their own benefit. Crime is often used to prop up the current order, and those who fall outside of the socially acceptable circles are used as scapegoats to justify it.
People and establishments all exist somewhere along this spectrum. One gives rise to the other, and the other gives rise to the one, in a perpetual cycle. But the cycle does not always remain the same. Sometimes something drags it to a halt. And if you stop and watch, sometimes you can see it happen. A beautiful moment where the logic of the world breaks down and begins again anew.
Within the cycle, one of these establishments was the Midnight Sun, existing on the balance between common and outskirts. The Midnight Sun was a nudist establishment that, instead of being located in a more open area as many tend to be, was located closer to the city, on the urban fringe. As a consequence of its location, while it was a decently sized resort that contained an open grounds, a lot of it was vertical, with many amenities contained within tall buildings. Amenities such as bars, restaurants, common areas, billiards halls, gardens, clubs, faux hot springs, and even hotel rooms. While some visited only for the day, many also spent prolonged stays there, as you could get food or other things all without ever leaving the grounds.
Although places like this tended to have good security by necessity, and were less dangerous than you might imagine, it was still uncommon for women to go to them alone, unless they had an air of being someone who could look after themselves in an altercation. Although it had no official criminal ties, it was not a fully safe place. This being in part because it had an unofficial reputation for being a place that cyber gangs did dealings, as it afforded them an opportunity where they could have extra protection against hidden weapons or hacking devices being within the immediate vicinity. Though some did suspect that it contained even deeper mysteries than this, due to some of the suspicious energy lines in the building. While they occasionally had incidents and struggles within, it didn't tend to be as unsafe if you kept to yourself, and out of the more sketchy areas. It being big enough that even within its grounds, there was a difference in safety level based on where you traversed.
Lan Mei wasn't quite a regular at the establishment, never having been one for crowds, although she did visit it from time to time. She went there occasionally to clear her head, and because there was a certain kind of catharsis in the idea of being seen in a situation you would have previously been afraid of. In truth, she was nervous the first time she went, this being before she had totally internalized that in any given interaction, she was usually the one who came off more intimidating. But she came to enjoy it after getting more used to the experience. She couldn't deny that the scenery was sometimes appealing as well, although she probably would have denied this if asked.
But due to the things she was preparing herself for, she opted to take that hesitation as an opportunity. Being naturally more quiet, she had to learn to force herself to be able to put up a sociable demeanor until it became more natural. And learning to be able to stay calm and in control in any situation was a helpful tool towards this. As her confidence grew, though, so too did her enjoyment of the locale. The initial hesitation wore off quickly, and so her initial goal of using it as training eroded into one of using it for relaxation, with the former aspect not providing much additional utility after long. But this was alright. She couldn't spend all her time focusing on training after all.
Lan liked to come and read or paint here. When doing the latter, it wasn't difficult to find people of either sex willing to pose as an anatomical model. You could have a conversation with them while you painted, and then after, they would vanish into the ether as if they had never been. Leaving behind only their image, burned into the canvas as they were into your memory. It was this purpose for which she was coming here today. At least nominally. Although there was also someone she needed to meet here today.
Once inside, she took off her clothes and packed them with her things into a locker, leaving on just her shoes for safe movement. She was considering packing away her black longjacket with its bisexual flag patch, but thought better of it and took it with her in case she needed it later. She hesitated before leaving some of her things there, especially her weapons, but this wasn't a place where it would would be easy to disguise being armed. She hoped this wouldn't provide a problem. After all, it never had before.
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Mei stopped at the Frazetta bar inside before setting up her equipment. Mei didn't tend to drink a lot of alcohol, and she especially didn't want to today. But though she had already eaten, she wanted to get something nonalcoholic to drink and to get to sit around somewhere a little more social before retreating to a more quiet corner. The bar had a nice wooden smell, being designed to look more rustic than the more modern-looking parts of the resort. And was illuminated with dim blue and orange neon lights.
Sauntering inside, she waved to the bartender, Cade McDennis. The bartender remembered her, of course. Bartenders always do. For his role, Cade only wore a small collar and sunglasses under his slicked up hair, trying to maintain a suave appearance. Although sunglasses didn't quite make sense to wear inside, this is because on the inside they were actually security goggles. Mei considered him somewhat of a friend, although she had never seen him outside the resort.
“Welcome back to our fffine establishment. Are you by chance here to paint again?”
She closed her eyes and tilted her head sideways onto her hand.
“You know it. Although I fear that I may have a little more than usual going on today.”
He picked up a glass, and began to wipe it with a rag in that way that bartenders always seemed to be doing. You know the one.
“So I have heard. But do be careful. It would be a pity if the world were to lose one such as yourself.”
He thought for a moment after his words. And then sighed, breaking out of the act, and speaking again in a more casual manner.
“Whenever something happens, I get worried, you know. I hope I won't have to leave here after today either.”
Mei looked at him.
“Well, we'll see how the day goes.”
She ordered a drink and took it back to her own table. Although she wanted to be somewhere more public for a bit, she didn't want to sit somewhere where people were more likely to speak to her at the moment. She could put on a mask of being social when she needed to, but for her, the quiet was always the better way to recharge.
After spending some time sipping her drink, Mei looked around the room at the different people inhabiting it. She was always somewhat conscious of what was going on around her. And each person had their own story to tell, if you were keen to look for it. However, some people's story was rather vague, and little could be gathered from them just at a glance.
If she observed people for too long, she often strayed into thinking about the nature of observation in general or even the act of speaking with strangers. That their story might intersect with yours once and then carry on forever outside of you, like separate threads forming only a single intersecting line before diverging forever. But sometimes the threads are tied. Like a lattice of countless individual paths weaved into a jeweled net. And at these times, sometimes you can do something that can change their lives forever.
She took some time observing the different people in the bar one by one. One point of interest she rested on was an old couple. They looked like they had been coming here for many years. And like they were content with the journey of their lives, despite having had some difficulties. She wondered about what their lives were like outside the place. And what the air of difficulty that surrounded them was. She supposed she would never know. And wondered how long she would think about it.
She wondered also whether this feeling of recognition that others besides you have a life as complex as your own was something that certain members of her family were incapable of feeling. It would perhaps explain some things, if so. She herself did not learn it from them, and had to teach herself. Realizing once she understood it of the beauty of awareness that it opened up to her.
But gradually, from looking around, she noticed something more attention grabbing. There was a romantic looking couple of two women who had come in together. Originally, Mei had not paid close attention to them. But one had vanished for a moment. Ordinarily, this would not be an issue. But this particular time, a heckler had come up to the remaining woman to pester her. Mei looked around. There didn't seem to be any security in the area at the moment, and it seemed Cade was not in the room to notice. She hoped that the situation would resolve itself, because today was not a day she wanted to attract attention.
The woman seemingly turned down whatever it was the man was proposing, but this only made the man angrier and resulted in his movements and speech becoming more aggressive. This was in a dim corner, and no one else around seemed to be visibly paying close attention. The woman started to look visibly afraid, noticeably trying to look smaller and looking around for her lost companion.
The man was about to reach for her aggressively, only to find his arm grabbed from the side. He looked confused for a second, looking at his arm and realizing there was a woman's hand holding on to it. He tried to pull his arm free, but looked shocked as he realized that the tightening grip made it hard to pull.
“What the hell?”
He looked up aggressively.
“Fucking bitch! Do you think you can...”
But on seeing Mei's face, he became quiet. And he realized now that the grip was tightening on his arm more intently, and more than he was able to resist. Feeling like it was about to cause an injury, he started to flounder, his face turning white in terror, realizing he was suddenly rendered helpless.
He tried to claw at her arm, only to find it useless. Mei held him long enough to send a message, and then lifted him and pushed him back. After regaining his footing, he tried to look standoffish to save face, flaunting himself aggressively as if he was about to attack or speak again. But before he could, Mei spoke coldly in his direction.
“I would take this opportunity as it has been presented.
“And... It would be better for you if we didn't meet again.”
He turned now even more white, and after a moment of consideration, he swallowed his pride, and began stumbling off towards the entrance. Moving at a pace that suggested he both didn't want to remain longer than he had to, but that he was also trying to evacuate just slow enough to not convey that he was now the one in the vulnerable position.
Mei glared in his direction until he was outside of the room. She hated that there was still a prevalence of people like this, as well as the difficulty at times of being able to easily deal with them. There were many times Mei was on the street, and having been jeered at from afar, opted to suck it up on account of the problems it could make for you to always be calling attention to yourself if challenging it. But of course, even then, she knew that, in one sense, she was one of the lucky ones. Because many other women didn't even have the confidence that they could handle themselves if it came to a physical altercation. Mei was not generally in physical danger from these types of cretins. But that made it little less of a humiliation to have to listen to them.
The woman, still shaking, hesitated before turning around, hoping that the man would be long gone before she had to look. But when she finally turned around to say thanks, she saw no one in the room behind her. And only a face down glass on the counter. Turning the other way, she saw her companion coming back and ran over to her, embracing her in relief as the companion, in a stunned tone, asked what happened.
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Mei returned to lucidity, shaking her head and looking at the room around her. For a moment, she had forgotten where she was and how she had gotten here. She realized she was sitting on a bench, painting the nude figure of the red-haired woman sitting across from her. Its true that this is what she had come to do today. Although she did not remember sitting down to do it.
She liked that this was an easy place to get people who would offer to be painted for free without having to either pay someone, or deal with the idea of using someone you knew. Mei never asked anyone she knew to model for her like this, since there is a kind of added level of awkwardness to ask to paint someone you know nude if you don't have that type of relationship with them. And if you need practice for various types of bodies, it would lead to repeat awkwardness if you had to ask multiple times with different people. There was a certain level of freedom if it was someone you knew you never had to talk to again and who had no connection to you outside.
The truth is, Mei was actually historically fairly shy, despite training herself to be able to act otherwise when needed. She would have been embarrassed to be seen naked by people she knew in the outside world, and she generally dressed fairly conservatively outside of coming here. But the midnight sun provided a kind of freedom in being its own separate edenic world. She was raised by her family to not be seen in general. To be like a ghost who could be called on when wanted, but to not take up space when not desired. This affected a lot of how she saw herself, both in terms of social interactions with others, and even how she saw her own body. It gives rise to a fear of intimacy and connection. And this can lead to a sense of embarrassment at being seen. Both in a sense of being seen as someone who takes up space in the world - as a person with needs of their own, as well as being the body that represents this person.
While here, she had painted many people of varying ages and appearances. While she certainly enjoyed painting attractive women and men, she also enjoyed the uplifting act of finding an artistic way to add a beautiful flair to the appearance of anyone who came by. It was not uncommon for people to lose confidence in how they looked, especially as they aged. For even with the advent of biotechnology that slows the effects of aging, they could not be stopped forever. But she was inwardly happy to see how she could brighten the day of someone who did not have much self-esteem in their own image, knowing how much it could mean to them. Though she herself would often not express this joy outwardly, due to difficulty in expression stemming from how she was raised.
Although she never had much wide-scope luck as an artist, the midnight sun itself had bought a few of the paintings she had painted there to hang up as decoration. Although these tended to not be in the most central places, as these spaces were reserved for pieces of more renown. Often, people would deliberately come to her for commissions when she was there, so she could grab some money on the side. Money being one of those things that always works against you.
The woman suddenly spoke up, breaking Mei out of her reverie.
“Could I ask you something, if you don't mind?”
Mei furrowed her brows. She usually did mind. Though she noticed herself thinking this, and felt a twinge of guilt about it.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“I've seen you come here before. But you don't really seem to talk to people that often. And you always come alone. Why is it that you don't socialize more when you are here?”
Mei was a little annoyed by the question, as well as how often she received variants of it. Everyone always wants to know why you don't speak up or smile more, but they usually aren't happy with the answer if you are too honest about it. She initially considered coldly saying that she didn't care about interacting. But she knew that this was not true.
She was aware that she came off standoffish, even though it wasn't always her intent. This was a place that people usually came to either to socialize or brought people with them to begin with to spend time with. So for someone to come alone and rarely do either would stand out. But with great pain, she chose to be more honest, stifling her annoyance, figuring that it wouldn't matter what she shared if it were with a stranger.
“I suppose... I'm not very good at it.”
She thought for a moment before going on.
“I could say that I don't feel like I belong here. But the truth is, I don't really feel like I belong anywhere.
“When I was young, I was raised to be distrustful of outsiders. I was told by my family that they were the only ones who ultimately mattered. But this wasn't just a passive thing. They would also even sabotage my attempts to interact with others, to try to keep me dependent on their own company.
“But despite this, I didn't really have a place in my family either. I was supposed to be there when they needed me. But it didn't really go both ways. They themselves were never there for me back, when it was me who needed them. For a long time, I tried to be compliant, hoping that one day they would show recognition. But that day never came.
“In the end, I was raised to be alone. For awhile, I didn't even have friends. Mainly on account of them being pushed away. Sometimes by my family. But if I am being truthful, often even by me myself. Because it was all that I knew. All that I had ever known.”
She paused.
“It's difficult to solve problems like this, even if you are aware of them. When you are raised to be antisocial, you often find yourself not even trying to interact, even if you want to. There is a polarity trying to pull you in two different directions at once.
“I'm getting better at it now, but... it's not easy. It doesn't help either when you also have to deal with untrustworthy people.”
Mei noticed that she was being more open than she normally was. She wondered why.
“Some people say it's funny to go to a place like this after saying how upsetting it can be to be objectified and knowing it can happen here. But it's a little different though, when it's a situation you choose to be in yourself. It's funny in a way. If you are choosing to be seen, it is not the same as when people are forcing something on you. It's a situation where you are taking more control of how you are perceived.
“And in a way, there can be something comforting about that. It's not your true self. But it is a self you choose to convey. And this act of being seen how you choose can mean a lot to someone who has spent so long feeling like they haven't been able to.
“I suppose that's what I really want in the end. To be seen for who I really am. But... who am I?”
Mei set down her paintbrush and zoned out for a moment while looking at the painting. The rest of the painting was done, but the face was still unfinished. When she came to, she realized she had been mostly just monologuing and looked over the canvas to speak again, but found that the seat was empty. She was confused for a moment, since she didn't hear anyone leave. She tried to remember the woman's face from memory but found herself unable to. She waited for some time to see if the woman would return, but she saw no further evidence of her presence. So, looking at the painting and thinking it over, she drew an x over the face, conveying its incompleteness.
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Later in the day, as Mei was setting up a new canvas, an opposite-sex couple who both had blue hair came up to her, looking skittish. They came off like they felt rather out of place in the environment, like it was not somewhere they were used to being. They looked like they wanted to speak but were having trouble knowing where to begin, having a few false starts before they began for real.
“Hi, sorry, are you the one who does paintings? If you have the time, we would like to pay for a painting of the two of us together, if you don't mind.”
Mei wondered whether it was her who came off intimidating or whether they just weren't used to being naked in public. They looked comfortable with each other but visibly a little uncomfortable with the situation, like they weren't sure whether they should be covering themselves or whether they were allowed to look around. But this was no surprise. People who weren't used to places like this often felt this way.
“Yes, that's me.”
Mei thought about what might make them feel more at ease and wondered why she came off so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact that her basic expression looked cold – like it had the pent-up collection of an eternity of isolation and rage. But no, it couldn't be that.
“I'm just finished setting up right now, if you are ready now.”
“Yeah, we are free now.”
Mei finished stabilizing the canvas.
“Okay, then.”
They sat down in front of her, nervously beginning a story about themselves and talking over each other slightly as they tried to get their story straight.
“Our names are Jonah and June. We are from... elsewhere. We can never... we are never in one place for very long. We've never been to a place like this before. Ordinarily, we aren't this open, but it seemed like a good experience to have since no one we know would be around. You know what we mean.”
She didn't. She wasn't sure why they felt like they needed to sound like they had a convincing backstory for being travelers. But she did understand their need to have a convincing backstory for how they ended up here. As if they were worried about her opinions on them being here as if she wasn't here herself and was judging them as an outsider.
“Are you sure a painting is good for if you are always moving around? That's a type of thing that could be damaged.”
They looked like they were thinking.
“Well, a small one. We like to travel light. But one that could be kept in luggage. You know, a decoration so that wherever we go, it will feel like home. Since we can't keep our home with us. If you have something that always stays the same, it's different than if it's just an empty hotel room.”
Mei had become a little curious now. They didn't explicitly say this, but from their tone, they seemed to imply that moving around wasn't entirely by choice but something that was forced on them. Maybe they were on the run from someone. She wasn't going to ask, but she hoped that they would reveal it themselves in due course. Whether intentionally or otherwise.
But for now, she would work on the picture. She thought best about how to ask her next question without embarrassing them.
“So how do you want this to look? You can be holding or laying on each other if you like.”
They looked immediately nervous. She suspected that the idea of something more explicit appealed to them, but that they would be unwilling to admit to it or to pose in an overtly suggestive way in public for so long. Whatever, she didn't want to push it. But she didn't want to wait forever for them to come up with a pose themselves either, when they were obviously too nervous to make their own suggestion. She gestured with her hands.
“Here. If you want, you can stand at a slight angle facing me, with your arms around her waist, and she can face you at an angle with her arms on your chest.”
“O-okay.”
This image appealed to Mei too. But she did not express this. Artists existed in a kind of realm where they were supposed to pretend they were neutral about this type of aesthetic, even if everyone collectively knew that it wasn't true.
She sat down and started painting. They continued on with making some small talk, and while she did respond to it from time to time, she was not focusing on it closely. Although there were some exceptions, she figured that it was likely that if they wanted a nude picture of themselves to be the centerpiece of wherever they were staying that, based on how they were acting about it, they didn't really expect much in the way of company. It was true that they came off a little lonely. Not necessarily like they didn't go out, but that, like they said, they couldn't stay in one place for long, and so were likely unable to make much in the way of lasting connections.
Mei had always been somewhat perceptive, even before training to focus on it. It became an act of survival when raised with a narcissistic family, because it would become an important task for you even from a young age to make sure you understood their feelings so that you could placate them. So when talking to people, for practice, she often tried to figure out what their story was. But perception isn't magic. You can tell things about people using identifiable facts and actions, like the great detective, but it is always fallible. And there are always limits.
Right now, she was struggling to deduce what it was they were trying to convey about moving around. They didn't seem physically worried, like they were in danger. Their lack of comfort seemed to come from the place itself, and they seemed to be treating it like a vacation. If they weren't in physical danger or anxious about being followed, there must be some other reason they couldn't stay in the same place. If it was just to get away from family, you wouldn't need to continually move around.
Heh. Family. Maybe she was just projecting.
She thought through what the possible explanations could be. It's possible they were misrepresenting themselves. But she didn't think so. They made it seem like a real thing that they were nervous to talk about. It's obviously possible it was some kind of work-related reason. But this didn't seem accurate either. In the end, nothing she went over really worked as an explanation. Though there could always be some type of possibility she wasn't considering. Sometimes the explanation was something so abstract you couldn't really hope to parse it easily, even with information.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
She closed her eyes for a second to think. If it wasn't that they had to move through places, then what was it? She tried to think outside the box, meditating on the question. And in the process of doing so, the answer quickly shifted into focus. Clicking suddenly into place in a bout of satori.
She opened her eyes and looked back at them.
“It's not places that you have to move between, is it? It's one time period that you can't stay in for very long.”
Both of them became suddenly visibly paler, looking shocked, in a way that immediately telegraphed both that she was right and that neither of them expected this to be recognized about them. At first, they looked fearful, like an important secret had been discovered about them. They looked at each other worried for a second, as if they were unsure what to do or whether this would come to be a problem.
Mei looked around the side of the canvas and smiled, tapping her head.
“Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
They continued looking at each other nervously for a time. Although it seemed like hearing this put them more at ease.
“How did you know that about us?”
Mei smiled slightly and closed her eyes.
“Here, I will tell you a little secret of my own.
“There is something I need to do. It will be the most important thing that I have ever done. It is for this purpose that I have lived.
“Heh... Maybe that's my low self-esteem talking. I should think more about myself.
“It is something I have trained for for a long time. Being able to know things about the people who are around me is something I needed to be able to do for this purpose.”
They looked at each other, still confused, but now looking a little less worried, understanding by this point that she didn't mean to antagonize them.
“But you don't know us, do you? We are the ones who came here to see you.”
“No,” she said back. She was still painting the picture, although their nervous movements had made it a bit more difficult. “I didn't know anything about you before you sat down. I learned to pick up on things quickly. It's something you have to be able to do. But, if you are okay with it, if you tell me your story, I will tell you mine.”
They looked at each other for a while, considering this. Mei could tell at a point that they had already decided that they would share, but were still mentally going over the act of doing it. She waited patiently.
“We are... the original cases of Parfit syndrome. Which, if you don't know, requires us to go into hypersleep for long stretches of time. And we can only be awake for not even a year every two decades.
“We actually used to have good lives in the past. But we lost everything. Our family... friends... For a time, we thought we were alone, since we didn't know anyone else we would be able to keep with us. And being the first ones with the condition, the possibility of discovering someone else like us didn't even occur to us originally.
“And... if we are being honest... both of us didn't handle it well at the beginning. I can't deny that there were points before we found each other where we had both thought about death. But we were lucky to last long enough to push through.”
They stopped and hesitated before going on.
“Well, being honest, there are still times that aren't easy. Nothing ever really ends. And I'm not going to lie and say that there aren't still times that are hard on us. We still have bad days... and we probably always will. But I suppose that it's helpful to know that things being hard isn't always a failure state. Sometimes it's just how things are.
“And well... that's really it. They still haven't found a cure. Things could be better. But we found each other. And it's certainly a significant improvement over when we were alone.”
Mei thought about this.
“I see. Sorry to hear that.”
They were looking a bit more brave now, but looked like they still wanted a break from talking about themselves. Mei figured it was a difficult subject for them, hence why they didn't seem like they volunteered information on it easily. And it was probably also not easy for them to share what they had already.
“How... how about you?”
Mei thought to herself for awhile.
“I suppose you can say I lost my family as well. They're not dead. Not physically, anyways. Its more that I underwent a revelation. And in my process of self discovery, I realized that they were never really my family.
“There is a profound sense of disorientation at the moment where you wake up, and realize suddenly that you are surrounded by strangers. That they have always been strangers. That you spent your whole life trying to get to know them and to have them see you, only to realize you are no further than when you started.
“You can look back to the last time that you felt like you could take joy in their presence. And feel sadness that, at the time, you couldn't have known that it was never going to happen again. That one day it will fall off, and that once it does, you can never get it back. But... life is what you make of it. The family that matters is the one you choose.”
She looked at them intently.
“I can't imagine the pain that both of you have gone through. But I'm glad for you that, despite everything, you too have found a family that you can choose to be with. Some aren't always so lucky.”
They looked at her with a somber expression. Then at each other, thinking this over.
“Thank you. And it's true. Being together has given us a new appreciation for life. There were things we took for granted before. But now we know never to do so again.”
They paused, like they were now done speaking. She looked reflective for a moment before speaking back.
“I suppose you want to know now what it is that I have to do.”
She looked forward fiercely, with a demeanor that was frightening to behold. Though they knew the glare was not meant for them, it still made both of them nervous.
“I'm going to kill the absolute one. The one that has been ruling over humanity since ancient times. The one that... took my family from me. The one that has taken countless families from countless people.
“Perhaps this has little to do with you. But I feel you can relate. As ones who lost your own families.”
She leaned forward, and put her hands up.
“You know, you're the first people I told this to. Ordinarily, I have to be secretive. Since this is a business steeped in danger.”
Jonah and June sat there solemnly. They didn't quite understand what it was they were hearing, but they understood that they were being entrusted with a large secret.
“But why tell us in particular then? If it is so important that no one knows?”
She shook her head.
“I don't know why, really. Maybe it is a hunch. But... you shared your own story with me. And I know it wasn't easy for you.”
Jonah and June thought about it and then smiled.
“Well, we can't say we understand what you are doing. Maybe that's for the best. But we appreciate being trusted with something. To be honest, you are the first one we have talked to about this either. After we lost our original families and friends, that is. It's not something that comes to you to want to talk about easily. On account of how alienated it is from the experiences of others. Even if someone is being understanding, there can be a fear of being pitied. Treated like your only identity is as a victim. And that isn't how you want to be perceived. You want to be treated like you have a life of your own. An identity outside your situation.
“So... thank you. For treating us like people, I mean. For we have felt like phantoms for a long time.”
Mei smiled back.
“That, however, is a feeling I can relate to. Being something of a phantom myself.”
They shuffled around a bit again, looking suddenly sheepish.
“But it's still a bit embarrassing though, you know? It is not easy to willingly show your weakness. Which is why we come and go and never really tell anyone who we are.”
Mei shook her head.
“Perhaps not. But it is the only way to show your determination. I too have shown you my weakness. Keep it safe.”
They nodded.
“We will.”
She smiled back.
“In the end, you won't have to keep it secret for very long. Soon, you will go back to sleep. And you will take this secret with you. By the time you next awake, this will all be over. At that time, you can come and seek me out again. And if I am still alive, I will tell you how it went.
“But I'm sorry. From your perspective, I won't be here long. Just the blink of an eye.”
She came to the end of the painting. But something felt like it was still missing. Mei thought about it. And then she drew a red ribbon going between them, like they were tied together by the hands. She wrapped it and handed it to them solemnly.
“Everything fades. But there are some things you can keep with you. Take these memories. And may the thought of them keep you warm for your entire life. Remember me when I am only dust. And I will remember you in turn.
“But for now, I think you had better go.”
They looked up. She held up four fingers.
“Death follows me. And it is approaching quickly.”
They looked at her, at first confused. But they could see from her expression that this was meant literally. And that if they stayed any longer, they were about to be in danger. They bowed and accepted the package, and then both of them held out their hands on top of each other.
“Thank you. We will see you again. In another life.
“So... please don't die.”
She nodded back at them and put her hand on theirs.
“I'll be waiting. And... I won't.”
***
Mei was sitting quietly, waiting for what was about to happen.
“Thank you for allowing them safe passage.”
A voice emanated back from the shadows.
“Please. What do you take us for? We know this has nothing to do with them.”
A figure with a commanding presence began slowly walking out from the darkness on the far side of the room. Mei knew who it was, though she had never met him personally. It was Feng Weihong, the proprietor of the midnight sun and administrator of quite a bit of clandestine and dangerous occult projects. Ones that had been unfortunately escalating over time. He was slightly older, though he looked like he had undergone quite a bit of biohacking in order to ensure that he would stay in peak condition.
Four male guards followed him out, spacing themselves evenly across the opening, wearing only straps for holding equipment. She suspected from the appearance of their nude physiques, that the guards had probably taken an enhancement injection just before coming here, for the sake of intimidation. But she wasn't very impressed by this.
Well, maybe she was impressed a little.
“We were waiting for the day when the techno-gnostics would come to us. But we did not know there was one already in our midst. Your kind can be quite the elusive bunch.”
Mei shook her head and spoke, mostly to herself.
“Some of us don't like attracting attention.”
The man sat down, though the guards behind him remained standing, brandishing guns.
“I won't bother to introduce myself, for I presume you know who I am already. And by all means, do dispense with formalism, for I find it rather uncouth.
“But I too know who you are, Lan Xiumei. And I know also why you are here. For it was I who brought you here after all. I won't bother lying to you by denying that we have the artifact you are looking for. But I am afraid that you cannot be allowed to take it back with you. For we are nearing the completion of our project.
“But fear not. For it is being put to good use. And though they might not see my perspective now, I believe that you and your compatriots will come around to it in time.”
She looked at the guards, and responded without changing her expression.
“So... why did you bring us here, then? You must have had a reason.”
He held up his arms.
“We regret to operate under so harsh of circumstances, I assure you. But there is more from you that we need. We have offered before, but we understand already that you won't be willing to work with us. So we were limited to these harsher means. Please do not hold it against us. For one does what one must. And the costs at stake are rather high, as even you yourselves know well.”
Mei leaned back and frowned. With his facade of diplomacy, Weihong was, of course, glossing over that his people had come to shootouts with the techno-gnostics before, and that there was a long history behind this. Mei, too, had been caught up in some of these altercations since getting involved, although she was not there to see where it all began.
“Make no mistake. We understand that there is value in your approach. But you cannot be so single-minded. The structures of the past can be stifling. But you must look to the future. Progression is no progress at all if you do it without a sense of development. And an unfortunate fact of the world is that there is no development without risk, no matter how much we try to avert it.
“It is... not always an easy thing. For risk comes with danger. And danger comes with suffering. But it is unavoidable. It would be a weakness to shy away from the future on account of these risks. We know this. And we are prepared to pay this price. The future waits for no one. And we must take the chance to act while it still remains.”
She thought about it.
“There is some truth to this. But not all sacrifices are good. And if you lean too far into legitimizing unnecessary suffering, you can end up back where you started.”
He shook his head and continued on.
“It is never an easy thing when comrades are lost. But it is at times unavoidable. You must be prepared to do what it takes if you want to carve out a path towards the shining future. It is on those who refuse to fight against the chains of tradition that they stay bound. The future is for those who will rise up and take it. Complacency means death. For those who bind you will not have mercy. For they had... none for me. None for any of us.
“Please don't believe that I like this any more than you do. But this is reality. The way of the Tao. No one can change it, not even Tian.”
She quietly finished her drink and set the cup face down.
“I feel your pain. But the truth is that what you are doing is far too dangerous. And you risk hurting a lot more people than just those who have been lost already.
"You should be careful. Don't let your pain guide you.”
He hesitated before speaking.
“...No. It would be disrespectful to those who have given their lives for our dream if we were to give up now. There is no going back for us.”
He stood up slowly.
“Make no mistake. I did not expect convincing you to be possible at this stage. But I thought that I should still try one last time. Do not blame us for this. It was your... own doing.”
He raised his hand, and made a motion forward.
“We are going to have to take you in. For now, that is.”
She looked around at the armed guards.
“Hmm.”
She shook her head.
“Sorry, but unfortunately for you...
She looked up.
“We also knew you were coming.”
As she said this, several explosions went off in the distance, causing Weihong to look up, shocked. Before they could react, she grabbed her coat and kicked up the table, blocking several sudden shots from the guards. Weihong began to shout at them in indignation.
“Don't shoot, you fools! We need her alive.”
He lowered his tone.
“At least... if it can be managed. But if you cannot, then do what you must.”
The guards, still surprised over the sudden table flip, slowly began to move around the side, guns raised. But when they got there, they were shocked to see that she was gone, and that there was a hole cut through the wall with a vibro-saber that had been partially pushed back closed.
They quickly scurried to pry it open, but as they were only armed with guns and not a saber themselves, they were stumbling over themselves, taking some time at it. Weihong gritted his teeth, and turned around quickly to see what the rest of the explosions were, motioning to two of the guards to come with him.
Outside the building, a rope descended from the sky, and a bag slid down it. Mei kissed her fingers and held them up as a sign of gratitude to the one who had made the weapons dropoff. She ran and grabbed the bag while quickly ducking behind a tree as a sniper's bullet sped past her. From the bag, she took new guns, and throwing on her open coat so that she wouldn't be fully naked for an altercation, she placed some of them inside of it. Though her saber had already been inside the building with her, hidden inside her easel.
Peering around the tree, she looked up at the central tower. From her intel, she believed that the pinnacle of the tower was the place she was trying to reach. The midnight sun could only have so many guards on any given day. But she still expected the climb to be rather difficult. In truth, the firefight out front that was being staged was all to distract most of the guards so as to give her an opening. Although they chose a time that was less active, she prayed that no outsiders would get caught in the crossfire.
----------------------------------------
Mei climbed the last staircase, looking to the right at the large ornamental clock on the wall. Behind her was a long path of blood. She looked at her saber. Then down the hallway. There was only one remaining guard. She started walking in his direction. And he held up a gun, but was shaking as he did.
He looked frightened. Hesitated for a few moments, unsure what to do, and dropped his weapon.
“I'm the only one left. Please. Don't kill me.”
She lunged up and held him against the wall with the side of her forearm, feeling his body shaking in fear, and sensing for his intentions. But he was being genuine. He didn't want to die here today. And he knew that if he pushed his luck, he wasn't going to come out on top.
She pulled her hand back.
“Go.”
He hesitated, but ultimately backed away, scooted to the side, and then slowly picked up at going off running. Mei thought to herself for a moment. She still had a habit of going easy on enemies when incapacitating them if it was possible. But she wondered if this wasn't sometimes a weakness. In a situation that is life and death, you can't afford to go easy. Even if you can defeat six people, it does not mean you can defeat sixty. And what is one life against the whole world? Does the times hesitation works out justify them? Or was that only an excuse?
She watched his quickly retreating backside to make sure he was gone, and then looked back at the door at the end of the hallway and walked towards it. She hesitated, considering whether this would result in her having to pay for it, but then slashed the door and kicked the door in, sending it flying into the room.
On the inside, the room looked more like a lab than a penthouse, sticking out from other rooms in the resort by having a more utilitarian cybernetic appearance and walls lined with servers. On the ground, there was a glowing mandala, depicted with lines from it to the center of the room. Weihong was standing quietly, facing the central pillar, on which was a small black artifact.
He looked back at her, then sighed and looked back down.
“Eh? How did you get past fifteen guards?”
He looked a little guilty.
“I hope they are not hurt more than necessary.”
She aimed the gun at him.
“I did what I could.”
He turned around to face her, hesitating before speaking.
"Then, I suppose, I must thank you as well.
“I see now that I perhaps underestimated what you are capable of. I thought they sent someone for mere reconnaissance, but... you aren't just an ordinary techno-gnostic, are you? It is... perhaps on me for such a misjudgment.
“...”
But switching gears, he held up his arm to gesture behind him.
“Do you see this? This is the core of the entire facility. This is... the midnight sun.
“I created this facility as a breeding ground for what you call jing. The entire resort was created to facilitate production. And all of it is filtered here to be used as an energy source. With this, we will be able to surpass our human limits. It will be a masterpiece of inner alchemy, unleashing strength that can rival even Sakras himself!
“My goal and that of the techno-gnostics is one and the same. It is a pity that they could not understand my vision. It is their weakness and hesitation that will be their undoing.”
She held up the gun.
“What you are doing is dangerous. You're going to destroy half the city.”
He clenched his teeth, looking like he was thinking.
“No. I've come too far to give up now. It is you can't see the true potential involved in this. It is true that I would have liked more time to prepare. But I will have to activate it early.”
He pulled out the black core and raised it up.
Mei clutched her gun tighter.
“I feel like you are going to regret doing whatever it is you are about to do.”
“No. I will make you see the true power... of the midnight sun.”
She tried shooting at him before he pressed the button, but she realized that it was too late and that a protective barrier had been up since before she even entered the room. He activated the core, and before him, a shape began to coalesce, cascading spots around the floor which gathered together, eventually taking the form of a sphere.
“Tch.”
The sun slowly formed into a solid shape, and as it did, he stood behind it, mesmerized and holding up his hands. His eyes shone in awe, seeing it unleashed for the first time as its dark light cascaded around the room.
“The power of the dark sun... it is finally within our grasp.”
He stayed mesmerized in awe like this for a moment, reveling in its glow. Mei looked around, uncertain what to do if her weapons turned out not to be effective. She walked around towards him, though at this point his gaze was not on her at all, being totally engrossed in the sun itself, as if he had totally forgotten her presence.
However, all at once, his serene expression began to turn negative.
“W-what?”
As the orb in front of him grew to the shape and appearance of a small black star, he began to feel that its aura was overbearing, and it was beginning to burn him with cold burns. He picked the artifact back up to see what was going wrong but could not decipher what the issue was with it and was beginning to look nervous, like he did not have a lot of time to decipher it.
“No. Not now! I have come so far.
“It's right in front of me! My future is so close.”
He struggled with the artifact to try to control it, but he began to have a look of panic on his face and movements as he realized he could not. And as he lost control, the artifact itself was pulled into the sun, his arm trailing behind it as he now realized that it was lost.
As he suddenly woke up to the realization that he no longer had a way to control it, he turned and started clawing to get away from it, but before he could react or move sufficiently, it quickly began to burn through him. He was now clawing at himself as he burned away.
Before burning away entirely, he paused and then slowly looked up at Mei with shame-filled eyes. For a moment that seemed to last eternally their eyes met. And then he looked down in shame as his body collapsed.
Mei kept looking at the growing black star, which had begun to burn other objects in the room. Initially, she was thinking of how to stop it. But upon accidentally looking too deeply into it herself, this overpoweringly gave way to a thoughtless jhana of contemplation. With her vocalizing her trance out loud.
“The midnight sun. I never thought I would see it... with my own eyes.”
She stared into it, mesmerized, passing out of space and time. For while on the surface it was just a ball of plasma, you could see beyond it and into the depths of the complex plane. It felt like it went on forever. And you could feel that you could see that which was infinitely distant but infinitely clear.
She was becoming lost in it, forgetting about the situation surrounding her or the growing danger. But realizing that she was becoming lost, she mentally forced herself to snap out of it and drag herself back to the present. She held up her gun to shoot at it again, but the shots dissolved before reaching it and had little effect. She grimaced, unsure of what she could do if the thing controlling it was inside of the sun itself. The blade would likely have no effect either.
She looked up. The building had a sprinkler system, but the ball of plasma was likely too large, and it wouldn't be enough to put it out. She had to find a way to get more water to the room, and as the sun was growing larger, she did not have unlimited time. There was no telling how large it could grow, and if left unchecked, it might even take out several city blocks.
Since this was a head office room, she went to the speaker and announced over it that the building was in danger and should be evacuated. She had no ability to call for an evacuation of the surrounding blocks, however, and needed to find a solution to this before it became a danger to them.
She rubbed the sides of her head to think. There would be a lot of water coming up through the pipes, but it is not all in this room. She needed to find a way to redirect it. She ignited her saber and held it up to the sensor to start the sprinklers. She cut the head off the sprinkler so that extra water could come out, and then ran back through the other rooms on the floor, heating the saber up to weld them closed, in the hopes it would push the extra water to the room.
She came back to the room and saw that there was a larger water flow than before. But it wasn't enough to put out the sun. While it was pouring out onto it and burning into steam, the sun was restoring itself quickly and still growing in size. But she saw an opening. Where the water was pouring, there was a gap in the plasma. So she jumped to the side, picked up the gun, and shot into the hole to hit the inside core.
The core flew out from the sun and into the opposite wall. As it did though, cracks through space appeared within the room, shaking it from an angle that transcended three-dimensional space as the sun began to collapse in on itself.
----------------------------------------
Mei woke up in an empty desert. She looked around her. The ground was composed of black sand, with occasional green energy lines pulsing through it. And in the dim sky, like an embodiment of Yin, was the dark sun, radiating across the landscape something that was neither light nor darkness. She realized that she must have been pulled into this cyber-esoteric space by the sun itself. Looking around, she could see nothing in any direction, but one figure ahead of her on a dune, hard to see.
The dark sun radiated off a cool heat. One that did not feel like a normal temperature at all, but like something that existed on a separate axis entirely. The environment was very still. With nothing to be heard but the faint sound of a quiet wind. She looked down, and she could see that she was still naked. And she had nothing else around her. So she began walking towards the figure.
At first, she felt like moving towards the figure made no sense of progress, but she pressed on despite this. It didn't seem to move toward her in a linear fashion. But though it did not advance towards her, gradually she found herself in front of it for an indescribable amount of time.
She could see now that it was a figure sitting on a singular lotus, in contemplation – the only plant surrounding them in all the desert. As she approached, the figure looked up and faced her. She showed no surprise, as it was revealed to have the face of Weihong. But now emblazoned on the body of a tantric deity, majestic to behold, and bearing many arms.
Weihong looked at her quietly, but then looked down in shame. On his face, she could see a sense of deep regret. And she could sense that these were deep-seated doubts that he had been holding on to for a long time. He finally found the strength to speak, looking back up.
“I suppose that... my karma has finally caught up to me.
“I have led to the deaths of many people. And I was on a path to making a mistake that could have killed countless more.
“I believed that time would vindicate me. That when all was said and done, it would have been worth it, despite everything. The ones who followed me... I made promises to them that I could not keep. And the ones who died did so only for my own delusions. All because I was clouded by revenge.
“You know, I kept a list. With the names of everyone who worked for me who had died. And I looked at it from time to time. But as more names were put onto the list, it only made me feel more desperate. Like I needed to prove to them that it was not in vain.
“I suppose... I must have hurt those who are close to you as well.
He was silent for a moment before speaking again.
“My strength is... almost spent. Soon, I will vanish from this world.
“...
“Is it... Is it too late to say I'm sorry?”
She looked down at him.
“It never is.”
He sat quietly again for awhile. And then he burst into tears, covering his face with his hands.
“Then I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. But I suppose that it must mean little from me now. I guess I'm only saying it to make myself feel better. After all that I have done.”
“That may be so. But it is a thing you should say all the same.”
He sighed.
“For long have we suffered under tradition and seen how it bound those around us in chains. I sought to throw them off. I believed that those who could should strive to throw them off with their own hands.
“I don't know if they told you this about me. But when I was growing up, it was... not in the best of situations. Much expectation was placed on me, but I was given little room to breathe. And I did not start with much, but much was expected of me. As an extent, I feared the rise and fall of one's fortunes. And I sought to do what I could to rise above. And once I had the opportunity, I tried to break free to find out what life meant for myself, free from those expectations. All of this... it was part of my goal to find out what it meant to live freely.
“I tried... Believe me, I tried...
“But I'm afraid I never really knew. And in all my life, I have never felt at ease. I wanted to help people to have the strength to break from tradition. I knew that my path would bring forth strife, and I saw that there were those too who would be hurt by it. But I began to feel resentful of those who were too weak to walk this path. And I tried to convince myself that it was their own fault. For it was their weakness that would bring about their ruin. That if my path brought danger, it was on those who fell victim to it that they could not rise above.
“I believed that this strife was a mere unavoidable fact of life. After all, in freedom, there is danger. I gave everything to be free. What are those who would not struggle to escape their cage? What is life if you can't rise to meet it?
“...
“I...
“I don't know.
“I don't really know what life is.
“Perhaps I never did.
“Perhaps it was me who was too weak to face the emptiness inside. For it was my own weakness that brought me here. And at the end of the long road, I have nothing to show for my sins.
She looked down at him. Then moved over to stand next to him, looking up at the sun and speaking down at him.
“It's not a crime to be weak. The world contains all kinds. And for those who can, they should use their strength to protect those who are in need of it. It is not just your strength, but how you use it that defines you. It is through weakness that you learn vulnerability. And it is through vulnerability that you learn trust. This is what it means to be human.
She shook her head.
“The weak are necessary. For it is they who teach us what it means to protect.”
He sat quietly for a time, contemplating.
“I suppose that in the end, I never found what it meant to have a fulfilling life. I wish, perhaps... that I could have met another one such as you earlier on. I believe that there is much I could have learned from you.
“...Heh. Had I never cut ties with the techno-gnostics, I suppose I would have. So that is yet one more thing that is on me.
“...
“You know, you remind me of someone. But he has been gone for a long time now, as well.”
He paused for a moment in reflection, and then looked over at her.
“I will entrust the future now then to you. You can have the sun. Take it and... do what you need to do.
After speaking, he slowly stood up, changing his stance.
“But I believe I am going to have to be selfish once again. There is one more thing I need to request from you.
He pulled out multiple shining swords, aiming them at her and donning a fierce demeanor, but with tears now streaming from his eyes.
“Show me.
"Show me that you have what it takes to defeat the Jade archon.
“And show me what it means to be alive. For this moment is the only time that I will have ever known.
The tears from his eyes had been pooling at the base of the esoteric space. From the pools, dark green foliage had begun growing, spreading, and flowering in the midnight sun. Mei reached down and picked a flower from the ground, putting it in her hair.
She looked back at him over her shoulder, kicking up her saber from the flower that it was embedded in, grabbing it, and taking a fighting stance of her own. She closed her eyes for a moment and then looked back at him with determination.
“I am the messenger of death. Carry this message with you into the next life.”
They stood for a long moment, staring at each other. And then rushed towards each other to slash.
----------------------------------------
Mei woke up back in the room, lying on the floor. She leaned up to look around at what was destroyed and whether the sun had fully dissipated. But seeing that it was gone and tired after everything that had happened, she collapsed back onto the ground, laying on her back. She looked up at the ceiling and at the esoteric design that was emblazoned on it, thinking about the thought process that had gone into it.
She thought that she should probably not stay here too long. Law enforcement might show up here, and possibly even temple guards. She also needed time to grab her clothes on the way out. She couldn't very well just go back to the streets in only a coat if she intended to stay inconspicuous. She looked down at her body to see if she had any major injuries that she had not noticed due to adrenaline. But there didn't seem to be any.
She heard coughing from elsewhere in the room and tensed up since she had forgotten momentarily about Weihong. She stood up, and seeing his burned but still alive body, she walked over to him. Though from the state of his body, she could tell that he was too far gone to save. He mouthed like he had something to say, but he was too weak to speak out loud at this point. She kneeled down next to him to listen.
“And if it's any consolation...”
He smiled weakly.
“I really liked your paintings.”
After saying this, he let out the rest of his breath. She looked back down at him and was going to respond, but realized now that he was already dead. She reached up and closed his eyes. She had heard a lot about him over the course of the past. He had been connected to the techno-gnostics as well. She wondered what it was in his own life that had caused him to give this up and to try to hijack their esoteric works for his own ends. But she supposed it no longer mattered now.
She picked up the damaged core of the midnight sun and started walking back down towards the building's entrance. She didn't know what would happen to the resort now, but she hoped for the sake of Cade that it wouldn't be shut down. And of course, despite everything, she would like to be able to come back to it one day as well. Perhaps now also in memoriam to those who had lost their lives to the dream that it had offered.
Although... perhaps it was better to stay away for the time being.