Season 3: Chapter 82: On To Different Things
On my floral scented throne that had somehow grown taller, I, like most days, sat within Slimey's palm.
However, unlike most days, an issue had occurred…
My dungeon.
It was broken.
[Error Dungeon Interface Unavailable at This Time!]
[Error Dungeon Interface Unavailable at This Time!]
[Error Dungeon Interface Unavailable at This Time!]
[Error Dungeon Interface Unavailable at This Time!]
[Error Dungeon Interface Unavailable at This Time!]
It had been like this for the last month, displaying nothing but error message after error message each time.
But… why? What was going on?
I had finally managed to get ahold of a supercyst and now my dungeon features were locked to me…
I could still access my skills, reach out and command my minions, but I couldn't shape my dungeon or interact with any of the facilities! Even the minion menu was shorting out!
This was bad! REAL BAD! Would my monsters stop following me if it broke? Would I lose everything I had built up? Be devoured by Slimey? Torn apart by Ayaka or slept on by Zorin?!
And what if it got worse? It was just glitching now, but would I eventually lose my skills? My senses? The only reason I could perceive anything at all was because of my classification!
Worrying thoughts…
At the very least… I still had my religion interface and the abilities it granted. I even had a quest from it after converting the remaining goblins and reaching four hundred followers.
[Religion: Cleaners]
[Active Members: 401]
[Devotion Points Available: 1085]
[Church Skills]
[Emit Mending Energy: 30/ 1HR]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to have a designated shrine emit mending energy.]
[Holy Barrier: 300/1hr]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to have a designated shrine emit a Holy Barrer of acute strength]
[Bless: 500/ Per Subject]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to Bless a designated servant, increasing their experience gains, strength, and skill mastery for a limited time.]
[Fundamental Quest: Establishing a Religion]
[Designate an Item as your Totem of Faith]
[A Totem is a receptacle of your faith. Through it, all Divines receive faith and power from the belief of their followers.[1000 Devotion]
[Next Milestone: 1000 Followers]
Of course, I had a plan for this. I knew exactly what to designate as my totem once I reached it.
But I had no means of expanding! No means of strengthening my home other than to do so by painstakingly by hand!
So now my empire was stagnant! But WHY?!
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Sigh…
I, once more… had no answers. But, at the very least, everything is shiny and clean. Spick and span, the floors so shiney you could eat off them.
Of course, why would you?
Anyway with Lye production now in full swing and soap manufacturing at an all time high, it was time to look to the future.
Across my domain, dozens of holes of boiling water, operated mostly by my slimes that could safely handle and pluck out the caustic material from the boiling water.
I even had Slimey and my goblins create a tram system to ferry the goods and extract the excess.
But of course, the scenting and fragrance wouldn't be possible if not for the dryad locked in my dungeon.
Now, before you say I've completely lost my marbles, I'm not mass producing soap for no reason at all.
If ya haven't guessed, this world isn't exactly like modern Japan. There are barely any amenities like soap, showers, candies, or plumbing! These are all rarities in this world, reserved for the rich and wealthy.
In fact, even as a hero I barely had any soap. But that would change. With every bar of soap produced, was another bar of profit.
Well… once Operation Hydra was in full effect.
The survivors I had released into the wilds had returned to their respective homes. Completely unaware that they carried with them bits of Slimey and subsequently, phase one of my master plan.
And now, with the arrival of Paladin Lhikan and his group, Phase Two would be at hand.
“Milord.” Gobledo said, the gorgeous goblin Paladin speaking perfect basic as he entered my throne room with Lhikan’s party in tow. “Paladin Lhikan and his company.”
The group of papal soldiers bowed, heads low, paying respects to my station.
Of course, if they didn't, Slimey would probably throw a fit as usual.
“You may raise your heads and address The Lord.” Slimey said, the Queen Slime waving her hand in a regal manner.
“My Lord,” Lhikan said, “Lady Berus has finished her preparations. We are ready to depart at your leisure.”
Finally, at long last, I would be escaping from this dreary place.
Of course… that would mean leaving behind my army. Albeit, temporarily as I made accommodations to move them and figured out how to operate my dungeon from abroad.
And where was I going you might be asking?
Well, to the Human Nations.
Lizaria more specifically.
It just so happened that Lady Berus was an influential noblewoman back in Lizaria with her home beside the grand Granzalia mountain range that were once ruled by dwarfs.
As a noble and a member of the Church, she had the means and property to stash me away as I explored the nation that had forsaken me. Incidentally, this would also give me an opportunity to explore the Heart Forge, a dwarfen workshop built above a flowing lava vein that had presumably gone cold.
Of course, if it hadn't been picked clean, this was also an opportunity to explore and gather materials to have Alexios forge stuff once I freed the catboy from his petrification.
Yup. It was all coming together.
Can't say I won't miss my dungeon… but after two thousand years, I would finally be free!!!
But… I would have to leave most of my minions behind as marching across several miles with an army of goblins would certainly unwanted draw eyes.
Instead, Ayaka, Slimey, Hector, and Gobledo would be my retinue, my team of monsters that would help me set a new base of operations within Lizaria.
The majority of Slimey would have to stay here sadly, but at the very least, Hector and Ayaka could fit into a bag while Gobledo pretended to be my human attendant.
With his luscious locks, regal stature, chiseled chin, and sharp eyes, the only thing holding the goblin back from appearing like a human was the horns potrudig from his head and his green skin.
Fortunately, by smearing Slimey across his body and having the slime mimic human skin, Gobledo could pass for human easily enough so long as he wore a hat.
As for Zorin… well… the four-armed croco-girl stood out too much, not to mention she was always busy sleeping. So I'd leave her be. As long as she had Simp and his gang that were always worshiping her and feeding her, she'd be fine.
And Chloe… well…
[insert LN image of a Hole w/In Progress Sign ]
Slimey shifted, her eyes more narrow than usual as she hid her face behind a fan crafted of leaves.
“Very well. It is my Lord's will that we leave post haste. For every day that that it takes to reach the human lands, I shall remove one fin-”
SLIMEY!
“-W-we shall leave at once! I trust you have suitable accomodations for my Lord.”
“Of course Lady Slimey,” Lhikan said. “We've brought the best carriage we could bring for his grace.”
“Yay! Food!” Ayaka let out, doing a little dance on my throne’s armrest. “I can't wait to gobble up some humans!”
Ayaka.
“Hm?” The tiny drider looked up.
No eating humans.
“Awwww.”
Note to self, remember to school Slimey and Ayaka on human etiquette.
Well, it's time to get to it.
****
“HONK! HONK! HOOhaaaaaWH!!”
In a distant land, a loud horn sounded as massive silver object with the words Tacoma flew through the air.
Honking, the metallic eighteen wheeled vessel crashed into the earth, creating a shocking wave from the impact and decimating the nearby flora.
“Honk! HONK!”
Out of the crater, the vessel screeched, releasing its battle cry to the world as it's 2500 lumen headlights flashed red and its wheels spun, bringing out all 326 horsepower it could muster from it eighteen wheels and four-cylinder engine.
The semi-truck climbed out of the crater with fury in its eyes, its silver metal chassis dirtied but not dented, caked but not rusted, a warrior famed for its One-Hit KO streak…
At least, it had been until that faithful rainy day when he struck some government stooge and he didn't die immediately!
This time… this time however, it would be different. Truck-Chan would have her revenge
“HONK! HOOOOOONK!”