Chapter 50: Cult of Duck
***Hiro***
I shifted my skull, dodging the blink strike aimed at my head.
Sword in hand, I lifted my blade, severing the arm of my attacker before coming back down with my sword, the weapon’s edge aimed at evil me’s clavicle.
The blade came down, the doppelganger's eyes widening. The man pivoted, dodging the blade, my attack shaving the enemy's hair just shy of nicking his nose.
TSK!
His left hand shot out, attempting to grab my skull, my head already moving just barely out of reach as I retreated and struck a stance.
My doppelganger paused, eyeing its severed hand regenerating at a visible pace before its left hand went up, gathering mana to its palm.
Phase 2.
I kicked off the sandy floor, rolling left, dodging the blast of mana that kicked up dirt.
I gripped my sword, racing forward, shifting left, shifting right, avoiding the mana bursts that were a far cry from my peak self.
Pitiful.
I closed the distance, my form shifting into blink strike and kicking off the ground.
The doppelganger shifted, avoiding the attack easily, his own dodge mirroring my own with his left hand coming up with mana.
Gotcha.
I dug my heel into the earth, pivoting, changing my depowered blink strike into a slash that dug into my evil clone’s bicep.
[Your Minion Has Died!]
Tsk! TOO SHALLOW!
“How was the training my Lord?” Slimey asked enthusiastically, “You lasted one minute and thirteen seconds! Twelve seconds longer than last time! A new record!”
Sigh… please don't be so jubilant about my defeat.
Now back in my rubber body, it took a moment for my consciousness to reset, to settle in my rubber body with my point of view encapsulating my entire dung…
Slimey.
“Yes darling?”
Can… can you explain to me why there is a twenty foot tall statue of myself in the middle of my THRONE ROOM?!
And… WHY ARE THERE GOBLINS WORSHIPING IT INSTEAD OF RELAXING FOR THE NEXT CAMPAIGN?!!
“Ah! I knew you would be just as excited as I!”
Excited?! I don't want them worshiping me! I need them-!
Suddenly a light, an armored goblin in the center of the crowd glowing white.
[Devotion: +5]
Huh.
The light left the goblin, transferring to the statue, my devotion points rising in the process.
The goblin wandered off to the side, rejoining its cheering brethren.
Great. It's a shrine. My goblins built a shrine.
In my honor no less…
Should I let this play out?
See what came of this?
Hmmm. I'm not too thrilled with my rubbery likeness being worshiped...
“Aren't you just thrilled my Lord?” Slimey exclaimed, cradling me in her palms as she began to descend from the fourteen flight throne. “I had it made in your honor!”
You did that?
“Of course!” The Slime beamed a radiant smile at me, her pink imitation skin peeling away to reveal her blue form.
Hmm. Well, the goblins were lacking in extracurricular activities maybe a bit of religion would help them.
Do I feel bad about lying to them? Of course, but if it keeps my minions in line and loyal…
“DA GRET YELLOW ONE DESCENDS!” A goblin screamed, the entire cohort, a mix of thralled and conscripts of worshiping minions turning to face Slimey and I descending from the throne.
“”DA YELLOW ONE!!”” The crowd barked in unison, jubilation and excitement spreading like wildfire.
Great… I'm the Yellow One now…
Alright! I sent, attempting to project my voice to every goblin in the crowd.
“DA YELLOW ONE SPEAKS!” A goblin cried.
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Alright. Settle down. Settle down folks. I sent.
The crowd rapidly went mute, Gobledo standing on the sidelines and giving a signal to the troops.
Almost instantly, the goblins shifted, forming rows, the armored cadre moving in unified discipline to kneel as one.
The conscripted balked but quickly followed suit, haphazardly scrambling to imitate the trusted.
Hmm. Maybe I could get used to this.
An ecstatic feeling crept up within, bubbling in my core.
Is this why demons do the things they do?
Very annoying. I'd have to guard against this darkness no doubt, lest I lose myself.
I looked over my goblin horde, my trustees and conscripted, the conscripts of course being the survivors of exterminated goblin lairs.
Over the course of the last two days, my “negotiation” teams had been hard at work, Gobledo and Gobledee working their way through nearly a dozen goblin dens with Zorin and Hector.
There were casualties of course, losses for the cause. Those warriors, given names and intombed in my throne room along with their armor and arms. A sacred memorial.
“My Lord, would you like to address your subjects?” Slimey asked.
Subjects? Sigh… fine, might as well play the part.
HEAR YEE! HEAR YEE! I sent out, the goblins quivering with anticipation as my mind caressed theirs.
Thank you all for your hard work! I sent, my simple words moving the armored goblins to tears.
[Devotion +5!]
[Devotion +3!]
[Devotion +6!]
[Devotion +3!]
[Devotion +2!]
[Devotion + 4!]
[Devotion + 5!]
[Devotion +4!]
[Devotion +5!]
[D-
Aaaaaagh!
A hundred notifications hit my mind, a massive stream of feelings and numbers compounding atop one another that was quickly adding up.
Well… quack.
I wonder when I'll be able to use this devotion thing…
Anyway, moving my attention back to my monsters, I continued my speech, this time, reaching out to all my thralls. Spiders, slimes, goblins, skeletons, gnolls, and capruxas.
Thank you for your hard work. Thank you, for your efforts in creating a home for our family.
Slimey vibrated at my words.
Look to your left.
The horde of monsters looked collectively to their left.
Look to your right.
The horde of monsters shifted their heads to the right.
These, are your family. We, are family. Every step you take. Every blade you swing. Is done in the service of our family. Our famila. This home of ours, a foundation for the future.
I could feel it, a hundred eyes, a hundred minds focused on me and every word I spoke.
Ah… I missed this feeling.
I continued my speech.
You must strive to protect your family. Strive to protect your home. Strive to purify and clean the world!
“”Clean!””
“”Clean!””
“”Clean!””
““Clean!””
“”KLEEN!””
The goblins began to chant, their voices one as Slimey held me aloft.
“CLEAN!!!” One goblin screamed, tearing off his silk clothes as he roared fervently with tears falling down his little green face.
[Devotion +9!]
[Congratulations!]
Huh?
[Thanks to the Devotion of those worshiping you, you have gained access to the first tier of the Divinity function]
HUH?!
[Please Name Your Religion!]
HUH!
[Confirm Huh! As Relig-]
No!
[Please Name Your Religion!]
Sigh… great this again.
““Clean!””
“”Clean!!””
““Clean!””
“”Clean!””
The goblins continued to chant.
[Confirm Cleaners as Religion name?]
Sure, why not. Short, simple, easy.
[Religion: Cleaners Founded!]
[Active Members: 248]
Well… great. I've created a cult. An actual cult of devoted followers…
[Devotion Points Available: 685]
Oh?
[Emit Mending Energy: 30/ 1HR]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to have a designated shrine emit mending energy.]
[Holy Barrier: 300/1hr]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to have a designated shrine emit a Holy Barrer of acute strength]
[Bless: 500/ Per Subject]
[With the prayers of your servant followers, use the power of your devout to Bless a designated servant, increasing their experience gains, strength, and skill mastery for a limited time.]
B-bless!? BLESS! That was a powerful skill! One that even Chloe wasn't able to learn, forcing us to attend and visit churches during our travels to maximize learning gains.
Awww yeah. AWWWWWWW YEAH!
“Isn't it lovely my Lord? Look at how they worship you!” Slimey beamed.
Yup. Lovely is certainly a word to describe this! I replied maliciously.
****ELSEWHERE, in a Distant Realm***
The Book Keeper stroked his beard, the red-haired man in his signature pink bathrobe observing the moving image of armored goblins marching through a tunnel in disciplined formation while another image showed scores of monsters bowing in reverence to a certain rubber bath toy.
“Hn. I would have used skeletons instead.” The Book Keeper commented, his arms crossed and gold eyes shifting from the goblins to the human paladin covered in monster gore. “Well, this will be fun.”
“What will be fun?”
“GAH! NYX BELOW! Seriously woman! Stop doing that!” The Book Keeper spat, turning to his giggling pink-haired companion of old.
“Oh, you know you like it when I surprise you!” Liza quipped, the woman transforming into a floating pink-haired cat. “Keeps ya on your feet!”
The Book Keeper sighed, pinching his nose. “Liza. How is it that after three hundred years of continued existence you perpetually elect to ignore the fact that I hate being jumped scared.”
“It's only because you hate it that I keep doing it boo boo.” Liza giggled, floating away as the Book Keeper's cat hissed at her. “Gotta keep your guard up Aaaaaaadam, never know what's lurking around the corner after all.”
“Yes, yes,” The Book Keeper hissed, waving the goddess off. “Don't you have that NFD project you got going on on earth and a bunch of sailor soldiers to indoctrinate? Why are you bothering me?”
“First off, they're called N. F. T.s and secondly, they're called Mystic Sailors to avoid copyright.”
The Book Keeper pinched the bridge of his nose, a headache forming as the white cat on his shoulders breathed fire at Liza.
“Liza… Since when do you care about copyright? You're a goddess.”
“Since you created the extra dimensional IRS!” The pink cat snapped. “Seriously! Who asked you to do that?! Who?!”
“Alright here we go,” The Book Keeper sighed, snapping his fingers and dispelling the mirror. “What did you expect me to do?! There were hundreds of guardians out of work and they needed something to do!”
“NOT CREATE SPACE I.R.S! Do you know how much they hound me?!”
The Book Keeper slumped his shoulders. “Please leave.”
A red-eyed pale skinned butler manifested, waving his hand and opening a portal that began to tug at the pink cat.
“Nooo! No wait NYAH! I want to know what's going on with the duck!” Liza exclaimed, the cat holding on to a desk for dear life as a sucking suction began to pick her up. “Did he find out yet?!”
“Nope. Now out you go.”
“NYAAAAAAAAH!!!” The cat let out, cartwheeling into the portal.