Chapter 61: This Little War of Mine
In a tunnel. In a sewer. In a run down castle surrounded by poisonous swamps, smog, and many creatures unkind to all things man, a place that would appear in Hidetaka Miyazaki’s(Creator of Dark Souls) wet dreams, a rubber duck squeaked.
Aka me, I'm the rubber duck, and I was squeaking at the twenty foot tall cocoon of spider web that was shaking violently, threatening to burst.
Sitting in the hands of my Champion Slime morphed into a humanoid, I observed the energy seeping out of the massive cocoon.
Ah… finally. How is it that Ayaka evolved but Chloe is still “sleeping.”
I turned my attention to a nearby pit, the hole in the earth emitting ghostly blue light but not displaying any visible change.
The egg of web began to crack, my chamber shining with light.
Alright. Time to see if this idiot eating my humans was worth it!
The light died down, the massive egg, breaking apart, the harden silk falling away to reveal-! To reveal! To…
Huh?
W-why?!
“U-uhm.” Ayala let out, waving at me with a tiny hand.
Slimey took a step forward, bringing my shell closer to the outer edge of the open egg that revealed not a massive evolved spider of mythic might, but… a tiny… tiny half human arachnid.
It was a drider, a monster with an upper torso of a human and a bottom half of eight legs from a spider.
A mythical creature, one that was of the utmost rarity! A powerhouse, a force of chaotic dark power that stood taller than most humans and even various monsters.
That, however, was not Ayaka.
Instead of a twenty foot tall powerhouse, what I was greeted by was a five inch tall drider with long jet black hair blushing as she looked up at me with dark violet eyes.
Step on her.
“Glady My Lord.”
“W-W-wait!” Ayaka cried, skittering around, panicking with her hands flailing into the air as Slimey lifted her foot.
“No! No! No! Wait please! Master pleeeeeeeeewse!!!” Ayaka let out, Slimey’s foot squishing the tiny arachnid against the floor. “Don't squuuiiiiiiiiiish me! I'm sorry! Imsowy!IM SOWEEE! HALP! HALp meeeeeeeeeee!”
A roar, the ground shaking, the Tarantual Titan, Ayaka's knight in the other room barreling towards us.
Tch. Fine. Slimey don't squish her.
“Are you sure my lord?” Slimey asked, applying more pressure on the tiny drider, Ayaka crying.
“Stawp! Pwwwse! Stop bullying me!” Ayaka let out in a high pitch voice, the spider choking out her plea between tears.
Yes, let her go. I ordered, Slimey frowning but ultimately obeying as I eyed Ayaka’s new abilities.
Name: Ayaka
Species: Magicka Drider Queen LvL 1 (Addicted)
HP: 21000/22000
MP: 1150/1150
Skills: Spin Silk LvL 10, Paralytic Bite LvL 5, Pouce LvL 10, Poisoner LvL 10, Blend LvL 5, Dark Vision LvL 5, Magic Vision LvL 5, Bile Spit LvL 5, Resonate Silk LvL 3, Magic Chant LvL EX, Magic Circulate LvL 8, Ice Spear LvL 3, Glacial Shot LvL 3, Flame Bolt LvL 4, Lightning Bolt LvL 3, Flamethrower LvL 2, Blunt Barrier LvL 4, Commander LvL 2, Egg Incubator LvL 9, Rune Gesture, Mana Charge LvL 3, War Cry LvL 3, Sturdy Frame LvL 3, Compressed Body. Adorable.
Adorable my rubber ass! Who even comes up with this crap! How is adorable a skill?!
[Adorable: Due to your appearance, most beings will be reluctant to inflict harm on you. +30% Appeal to all sentient beings.]
A pop up appeared, explaining the skill at my behest.
Lies!
Ayaka scrambled off, climbing the massive armored legs of her titan and cowering on its head.
“Meanies! M-mean!” Ayaka shouted, her tiny voice barely audible.
I will personally crush you.
“Oop.”
The two arachnids skittered away, leaving Slimey and I alone in the chamber.
“My Lord.” A gruff voice, Paladin Lhikan, my converted knight bowing with his two companions named Simone and Jesse. A priest and a rogue who pledged their aid to my cause.
Humans.
Stolen story; please report.
The first of many, or perhaps last to serve me.
The truth is.
After having spent so long in my rubber shell, I wasn't sure I even identified as human anymore.
Left alone for two thousand years, nobody to speak of with generations of my offspring fighting and dying, never knowing their ancestor was alive.
I was once a man lauded for his monster slaying capabilities, a hero dubbed the Godblade who stood against the forces of chaos and championed the light.
Now I was a rubber duck, a commander of the very creatures I used to kill.
It was very… disconnected.
“Speak,” Slimey said, relaying my command to the humans. Unlike how I could reach out and communicate with my monsters, it didn't work the same way with humans. In fact, while it seemed as though my monsters were all speaking English, it actually wasn't the case but rather my system translating their speech. Well, to a degree. The dryad locked away being kept company by Gobledo spoke gibberish whenever I attempted to coax her to join me and… I'm rambling again… back to the story.
Lhikan knelt.
As per usual, their daily report in exchange for healing.
“We've finished the spear and sword drills today sir. Twenty new goblins have reached competency tier and one has achieved apprentice.” Lhikan reported, the man in charge of training my troops. “Sadly, there is no report of Tipsy or sighting of the gnome.”
“U-uhm. Sir,” Simone said awkwardly, a brunette petite woman I had come to learn was a school teacher when she wasn’t out invading people’s homes. “Sign language classes are progressing. It… uhm.”
“Spit it out aspirant.” Slimey snapped.
“Ah! Yes, uhm. The classroom could use more lighting. Some of the goblins have poor vision and can't see my hands and instructions,” The aspirant reported. “And it's hard to see in the dim light for myself.”
“Noted. Any other issues?”
“Uhm. No. The goblins are well-behaved. And they don’t make much of a fuss so… In fact they’re the most well-behaved class I’ve ever taught… It would be easier if I had parchment and ink to create lesson plans or a guide book though…”
“Noted.” I turned my focus to the last human.
The expendable one.
A pathfinder and a rogue, the man didn’t really have any skills I deemed useful. I had an army of spiders and skeletons that fullfilled that role. Besides harassing all of my female monsters, he was more of a gopher. Perhaps the only reason I hadn’t liquidated him was because he was cared for by the other two, and throwing him into a composter would be bad for morale.
Hmm.
Still, he would be put to use in the coming war. If he survived. I had plans for him, but it involved espionage, subterfuge, and lying through his teeth. The only three things he seemed to be good at.
“Right, I suppose it's my turn.” Jesse said, standing proudly. “I collected manacysts from the farms, helped feed the dryad, gathered some seeds with the farmer goblins, and also scouted the tunnels for any threats.”
“You mean the tunnels that are already patrolled.”
“Yeah well, might as well augment the patrols! Ya never know what might be lurking in the shadows after all! Haha!”
You mean pocketing my manacysts with greedy eyes, oogling the tied up dryad, chewing on seeds like a snack, and studying the patrols to look for a way out.
Useless. This is why I preferred monsters, they were so much more straight forward.
Before I knew it, Slimey was towering over the man, a wicked smile on her face.
“And… err… helped… uh you're very very close to me. And of course I don't mind, ya knowwhenyou'reinhumanformbutyourjellyformmakesmenervousandIcan'tstopramblingpleasedon'teatme.” Jesse shrinking as a shadow befell him.
“Just give me the word my Lord. Allow me to consume him and be rid of this parasite.”
Actually, now that Slimey mentioned it, I wonder if she could gain skills if she consumed him. It would certainly be a big bump to her experience.
Lhikan stepped in front of the slime, placing himself between the sweating Jesse and my monster eager to consume.
“Please, stay your hand milord. Jesse is a lout, but he means well.”
Slimey shrunk back, resuming her human form.
“Master Hiro wishes you to know, that while he does not possess eyes, he still sees all within his domain. Including the manacysts you have stuffed in your pockets, the bundle of seeds you have hidden away as emergency rations, and the fact that you keep hungrily gazing at the dryad with carnal desires, using every opportunity to visit the prisoner chained up.”
At the last bit, Simone shot a glare at Jesse.
“Uh… research purposes?” Jesse replied.
“Trash.” Simone replied.
“Two strikes.” Slimey relayed as Jesse turned over the stolen manacysts, a look of confusion on his face.
Ah. Right, they wouldn't know what baseball is…
“Your second warning,” Slimey corrected. “One more and you will all be executed. My Lord is gracious and benevolent, but I, his most loyal servant, will not tolerate such fragrant trampling of his hospitality. The only reason I haven't killed you is because my Lord deems your life worth preserving.”
“Yes! Thank you!” Lhikan barked, grabbing Jesse by the back of his head and forcing the man to bow, the trio of humans turning pale.
With the reports done, I casted purify on the trio, removing their blight as Slimey healed them.
“Dismissed.” Slimey relayed, the trio saluting as taught before walking off, well, everyone but Lhikan. “Is there something you need Paladin?”
The man Inhaled.
“If I may be frank sir, I am concerned about the coming incursion. Paladin Danse is a fearsome leader, and although most of his army is made up of aspirants and mercenaries, his personal guard are not to be trifled with. It would ease my heart to know of the battle plans.” Lhikan said earnestly.
“You know what you are meant to know, Paladin. Besides, you still haven't found your friend yet. That you willingly gave the means to escape the premises to.” Slimey replied, stroking my head.
Upon persuading the paladin to join my ranks, he had unveiled a terrifying secret. That when he tripped over the corpse of his fallen soldier, it wasn't an accident but rather a ruse. One meant to plant an item in the sand for the escape of one gnome.
“Yes. As I've stated before, I was not aware at the time of who was taking us captive,” Lhikan replied, head low. “I understand the inconvenience this poses, but she has not used the riftstone yet so I believe it is only a matter of time before she attempts to rescue us.”
I activated my minion control skill, taking over Slimey, her feminine form morphing into my masculine body, albeit one wearing her dress.
“Need I remind you Lhikan, that these monsters are my family. Your comrades. Brothers in arms. If your runabout friend hurts anyone under my care, it will be you that suffers for your folly.” I spat, crossing my arms. “As well as your companions.”
“Of course. I will willingly bear the blunt of any punishment. But I swear, if she is captured, she will be of utmost use to you. As our artificer and remaining scholar, she would be more than happy to serve.”
Of course I knew how useful she would be, but I also knew how dangerous an artificer was. Anyone capable of crafting and utilizing black powder was a hazard!
“See that she is. While I would task Jesse to do the deed, I have an inclination that he would use the opportunity to save himself and I need no further breaches in OPSEC.”
Lhikan blinked. “OPSEC sir?”
“Operational Security. The less that knows about my existence the better. For now, we must work in the shadows to serve the light. Do you understand Paladin of Destina?”
“Yes! Of course sir! Your wisdom is immaculate. I will strive to do all I can to serve.” Lhikan bowed.
My body wiggled, a sense of joy emanating from Slimey.
“See that you do. I have big plans for this world. And only those that prove their worth may stand with me upon that grand stage. Dismissed.”
The paladin snapped a salute, walking off as my consciousness returned to my rubber body.
Sigh. Two more days left until the presumed arrival of the enemy army.
Two more days left of training. Two more days left of planning. Two more days until this place would run red with blood.