Chapter 69: Nice…
Fifteen minutes prior….
Seriously? What is with all that racket?!
Oddly, the shaking around the castle seemed to intensify, not like a boom, but a rumbling as if the entire world was breaking out into a commotion.
The castle was up in arms. I could feel it, fighting just out of view of my domain and in the fog of war.
My soldiers and sentries hadn't reported anything, so it seemed the conflict was beyond my immediate territory, still. I couldn't help but feel as though something were wrong.
Being carried atop Slimey's head, we moved into the black void, my squeaker pinging the surrounding area for any shifts, cracks, or changes in the terrain.
It was hard to “SEE” given the fact I had to focus on looking for cracks or large shifts in the tunnel system caverns, but focusing closely, I could detect the effects the humans were having on the castle.
And it was grim.
Broken catacomb struts, shifted stone, loose bricks. The dang idiots were trying to bring the whole castle down!
Well! Not on my watch!
I summoned Spooderman and a crew of spiders and goblins. Their task? Reinforce the tunnels using webs, bones, and any other material they could find. Even though these tunnels weren't a part of my domain, of they started collapsing, it could start a chain reaction and implode the entire damn castle! Taking my territory with and burying everything inside.
Actually, now that I think about it, why would ANYONE build their dungeon or dwelling underground?!
It was incredibly dangerous!
Next time I build a home I'm making it above ground. None of this collapsing in on itself nonsense!
Anyway, moving along into unexplored regions, past my traps, I… huh?
My squeakerlocation picked up movement, lots of movement, LOTS AND LOT'S OF MOVEMENT!
The ground rumbled, dozens of monsters racing through a corridor that lay just ahead.
I squeaked again, a train of creatures rushing with gleeful bloodlust that left me befuddled in the hallway.
Right. Ok…
We paused there for a moment, no further movement made before curiosity ordered Slimey forward.
What the hell was going on?
We followed the trail of monsters, tracing their rabid movements until my squeakerlocation pinged an opening in the tunnel.
Did… did they all just commit not alive?
Baffled, I could only ponder WHY THERE WAS A GIANT HOLE IN THE TUNNEL AND-
Ah… great. Just great. There's a human coming up. Perfect. Great. That answers that mystery. BUT WHAT the hell was the point of all that trap laying if they were just going to tunnel in?!
No. Don't panic. Be calm Hiro. Let's try to salvage this. I know! Diplomacy. Let's try confusing them to buy time so I can reinforce my back entrance.
Slimey, diplomacy.exe engage!
On my order, Slimey moved, stepping lightly as she put on a kindly smile and changed skin tone. Ahead of us, a short woman in armor and clergy robes was busy latching some kind of mechanical contraption to the floor.
To be careful, we stepped with purpose, Slimey making herself known to the woman who spun quickly to face us.
Now close enough, my senses could pick up the woman, some kind of church battle maiden who stared at us with confusion.
“Hello. May I interest you in the holy gospel of the Cleaners?”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
What? That's not at all what I asked you to do! I said diplomacy! Not weird her out!
But it is my duty as your champion to spread your-
Suddenly the woman moved, hammer out, her weapon striking Slimey in the jaw that splattered bits of her face against the nearby cavern.
Rude.
“Oh… my. That wasn’t quite nice darling.” Slimey said, much to the stunned woman's concern.
Alright then. CombatMode.exe Engaged.
“Let’s have some fun.” Slimey brandished a wide smile, her body losing its pink skin and churning with lightning.
****
“HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”
Danse looked up at the commotion, his eyes going wide as Captain Donut was blasted out of a hole in the castle cliff.
What?!
“CAPTAIN!” The mercenaries and soldiers broke out into a panicked flurry, several men and women tripping over each other to catch the flailing woman.
Danse turned his gaze from his adjutant, his gaze focused rather, on the source of the attack, a humanoid adorned in Maiden gear with a massive blade held on her hands.
“REJOICE! Humans! FOR YOUR IGNORANCE SHALL NO LONGER BE PLAGUE YOU! KNOW! That you tread upon holy ground!” The woman spat, “This castle, and all lands beneath this sky! Belong to Lord Hiro! Those who enter without permission! Shall face the wrath of the Great Yellow One! Know you filthy worthless-huh? What? B-b-b-ut- Lord Hiro! They must know your greatness!”
Abruptly the woman seemed to grow flustered, her personality doing a 180.
“Oh! OH! I love it when you berate me darling!”
“SQUEAK!!”
“Enough of this! Someone blast that thing!” Danse barked, several mages and archers letting loose their attacks.
An explosion kicked up, the cliff side exploding from the might of the mercenary attacks.
Danse shook his head, turning to walk away back to his cabin when suddenly, laughter.
Maniacal laughter that echoed through the smoggy air.
“Huh?” Danse let out, turning, his brow furrowing at the spectacle of the monster unharmed as it laughed and clasped the massive blade in its hands now illuminating the night. “What?”
Danse went wide-eyed, recognition on his face as he realized what he was looking at was a legendary armament!
The paladin licked his lips, a smile on his face. It wasn't everyday a legendary weapon from yore was found, yet here one was! And a powerful one at that!
“PERISH! SCUM!” The creature shrieked with a wide smile, swinging its weapon, the enormous shining blade, unleashing a devastating wave of mana.
“River's of Blood!”
Danse was up, katana unsheathed, his blade firing off its signature skill to cancel out the enemy attack in a brilliant display of power.
The earth shook, tents, carriages, and equipment knocked over as nearby mercenaries close to the epicenter were blasted away.
“Haha. Ahahaha!” Danse began to laugh, his own musings mixing with the monster's while the gathered crowd of mercenaries looked on with panicked confusion. “BRING ME THAT THING’S WEAPON!”
Taken aback, the monster wearing Maiden Gear seemed to wiggle, another laugh echoing out.
“OH! YOU'RE CHALLENGING ME?! INSTEAD OF RUNNING YOU'RE ATTACKING ME?!” The monster screamed, almost in jubilation as it pointed the Dragon Slayer at Danse. “I'LL RIP YOU TO SHREDS! DISSOLVE YOUR HEART! TWIST YOUR NU-!”
The monster closed its eyes. Seeming to inhale.
“Farewell.”
Suddenly the monster took off! Running back into the cliffside cave and leaving the crowd staring.
“WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU WELPS! GET IN THERE! ARE YOU PAID TO GAWK OR FIGHT?!” Danse screamed, ordering his soldiers up the cliff.
****Hiro
AAAAH YOU IDIOT! BOUNCE FASTER! BOUNCE FASTER! I sent after ordering Slimey to shape into her ball form. Using pounce, we began to rubberband off the catacomb walls, a much faster way to traverse the terrain.
I let out a squeak, reaching out to my sentries, my goblins already on the move.
The humans weren't coming! They were already here!
And thanks to Slimey losing her damn mind again! They were spurred in to find me!
Backtracking my way home, I was greeted by Gobeldo, the Captain of my guard at the ready with a phalanx.
My goblins were in overdrive mode, setting up barricades, making traps, covering glowstones with webbing to deny enemy visuals.
Slimey was unhappy, the battle crazed maniac wanting to fight the enemy boss immediately upon seeing him.
But I knew it was suicide.
That Danse fellow, he was dangerous.
I could tell from one squeak, his aura similar if not stronger than Lhikan! And the only reason I was even able to take the paladin was because he was injured and exhausted!
And now there was another of him!
Supported by an army, there was no way I could defeat him in a one-on-one confrontation. No, this was a battle of attrition. I just… needed to find a way to kill as many of his employees as possible while figuring out a way to lure him out.
According to Lhikan, the man was a “DECENT”(My rubber ass!) Fighter, but an impatient and rash commander. I just hadn’t expected him to be such an idiot he’d risk burying me alive if it meant getting his objective done faster.
Bah! And he has a bunch of mages!
The ONLY reason we survived unscathed was thanks to The Dragon Slayer, devouring the offensive mana. A feat I didn't know it could do!
Now Slimey wanted to kill them all! (Not that I blame her.) But it was still too early for a confrontation! Maybe a chapter? Two chapters! But there was no way we would survive without setting the battlefield.
No no! Now that I fully knew what I was dealing with, it was time to lay a trap!
*****
High Executioner Lady Antoinette Illuminate Berus raised a brow, eyeing the chaos of the camp below with piercing green eyes.
At seven feet tall, the silver clad half dwarf towered above the other soldiers. With her platinum blonde hair swaying in the wind, massive kanabo, and sharp stoic gaze, she was a fearsome sight to behold.
“Commander Danse.” Berus said, her voice cutting through the commotion to reach the ears of a man who was more akin to a pig than a man.
The commander turned mid scream, eyes wide, jaw clenching.
“Would you mind explaining to me what transpired while I was away?”