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The Hijinks of Fred and Demon
Fallen Angels Animal Shelter

Fallen Angels Animal Shelter

For a moment there was silence. It didn’t last long before the barking interwoven with plaintive meows and other unidentifiable animal noises increased in both volume and pitch as the door to the back opened to admit a woman. And what a woman she was. She was short and stacked just the way Fred liked ‘em. Her hair was shiny and black fell in a long undulating wave down her back. Her eyes were the prettiest brown he had ever seen and her skin was a deep dark rich hot chocolate, the kind he loved to drink. ‘Wow!!!’ thought Fred momentarily stunned he missed her greeting and had to ask her to repeat it. Shaking his head slightly “wha… uhh.. Sorry the heat...um could you repeat that… Smiling she repeated herself as she came fully into the room up to the counter

“Hi and welcome to Fallen Angels Animal Shelter. What can I help you with today?”

“Uh yeah… umm yes… so I” his voice cracked and he cleared his throat trying again. “Ehh emm… yes I came to see about your fostering program. I was thinking of a small dog or cat that is already house train. I mean uhh... trained. I uh, would love to have a companion at my home. Been lonely because I am alone. Not like no one wants to be with me type of thing but you know because I am single not that that is a bad thing or anything but like you know. I am just single right now. Heh, heh hmm…” pittered off Fred as he mentally shouted at himself to ‘Shut up. Shut Up! Shut Up!!’

The lady seemed unperturbed by his verbal spillage and simply nodded her head. Seemingly excited at the prospect of having a new foster parent in the fold.

“I am so happy to hear that” she enthused. “If you would just take a moment to fill out this paperwork.” She handed him a clipboard with a small stack of papers and a pen. And nodded at a seat right by the tall and vibrantly green plant in the corner.

Smiling Fred took the papers and took the seat she indicated. He looked up to see she was not paying him any attention. Her gaze now fixed upon the desk computer where she typed furiously away. Her brow furrowed in concentration. Sighing at the visage she made before him Fred turned back to the clipboard in his hands and began the long and tortuous process of filling them out. Name? Easy enough Fred Muckeneer. Address 1234 Platesouras Place, Dinosaur, Colorado 81610. And so it went with Fred filling out the basic information at least for the first page. After that the questions were of the type he expected. What type of animal are you interested in? What age group are you looking for? Are you okay with an animal that has special needs? Yadda, yadda, yadda. He was able to fill these out with ease. Cat or Dog. 2-3 years old. No. No to an animal with heartworms, etc. but it was when he flipped to the last question that Fred seriously considered leaving. But before he could stand there she was asking that oh so innocuous question with that beatific smile,

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“How is it going? Do you need any help with anything?”

Fred could no more resist her than a moth, its’ ladylove light. So instead of walking out Fred sat there and read over and over that question and wondered just why the air conditioner was no longer working to keep him cool. The question wiggled and rattled, jiggled and prattled all throughout his mind;

Why have you chosen to foster an animal? Please explain in detail as your response will have an effect on the decision to allow you to be a foster parent.

There was no blinking cursor this time. But nonetheless the blank lines seemed to waver before his eyes just like the sweltering parking lot. His breathing became ragged. His heart beat thundered in his ears. Sweat gathered at his temples pooling together before sliding down his face, falling down to leave it’s final mark on the world by adding to the spreading stain of moistness on the paper.

It was then that he noticed it. It was the biggest and blackest cat that he had ever seen. It padded unhurriedly from behind the desk where the lady continued to type and headed towards him. He could only watch from the corner of his eye as it sauntered over to him. Only daring to look at it fully as it first jumped onto the potted plant, then the table. Then pausing to stare him fully in the eye daring him to move the cat put first one paw then the other on first his leg and then the paper where she laid down and promptly rolled over and turned her head at a seemingly awkward angle and stared up at him with her tongue partly poking out of her mouth.

Fred only stared down at the cat wondering just how bad it would look for him to shove the animal off his lap, throw the papers at the pretty lady and walk out. As the probability of the lady going out on a date with him battled with his desire to get the cat off his lap and not face the empty page the cat did it.