“Fred.. Fred… are you listening to me Fred.”
Standing up straight Fred wiped his face from the gathered sweat and answered with a long drawn out sigh, “Yeah Mary I am listening to you and Yes I know I have to work hard to stay on top. I am going to get a manuscript to you before the due date. However, you calling and putting pressure on me is not helping.”
“Not helping! Not helping!! Excuse me kid, I thought I would just try to remind you of the stakes and make sure you remember the rewards.”
“Yeah I got that Mary. But-”
“Excuse me for just wanting my best client to succeed.”
“Yeah but Mar-”
“I just want you to remember it’s not just your reputation on the line here Fred. I have to pay my own bills as well and if you are not producing then I gotta find someone else who will.”
“Mary!”
“Kid you know if you are having trouble we could always hire a ghostwriter. You know some of the greats do it from time to time. How else do they publish a story once a month? No one is that good. Hahaha!!”
“Mary” hiss growled Fred. For once there was silence on the other line. Broken by an indignity drawn breath that blasted the silent reproach of ‘What!’ across the phone line.
“Yeah kid?”
His voice a breath above a guttural growl of seriousness and authority said “Hear me when I say this, no one works on my stories but me! I will have the manuscript to you. Don't suggest that to me again. Do you understand?”
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“Yes, that's the fire I’m looking for!” yelled Mary.
Sighing Fred felt the anger that had welled up once more beat a swift retreat back to it’s home once more defeated by Mary’s seemingly obtuseness and enthusiasm. Shaking his head he gently began to twist the lock making sure it didn’t creak. Before turning his attention to the door handle. Vaguely listening to Mary as she ‘tried to light a fire under him’ as she liked to say. Giving vague uh huhs and yeahs at appropriate pauses. He focused on not letting the head pulsing throbs turn into a migraine and just getting out of the house.
He gently turned the knob and bit his lip as he repeated gently, gently, gently over and over in his head. Pulling the door in he moved to the side still giving the expectants uh huhs and yeahs to Mary as he pulled the door open just wide enough to slip through without it creaking. Smiling now Fred looked out into the world ready to step forth and escape and narrow down his to-do list.
Yet there was one thing that Fred had forgotten. As he stepped onto his old wooden porch it gave a “Creak, creak creak CREAK for every single step he took. His body tensed as he listened to his victory sail away into the evening sky.
“Fred, are you leaving your house? I know you aren’t leaving Fred. You need to finish the manuscript. You need to be at your desk pounding on those keys until I have a manuscript in my email. Fred!”
Fred wondered how bad it would be to just hang up. Maybe he could fake interference. Did cell phones still have interference?
“Fred!!!”
Before he could think too hard on it he made static sounds “shh, oww crackle Mary. Shh, oww crackle. Can’t hear. Shh owww crackle. Gotta go. Shh crackle bad shh later shh.”
Pressing the end button on his phone and then turning it off. Fred stood for a while and stared blankly in front of him. Only to realize his neighbor was staring back at him with an accusatory look. He blinked, quickly muttering “Crap, crap, crap, crap” under his breath Fred forced a smile that caused the woman to clutch her chopping shears to her chest. Dropping the smile, Fred settled for an awkward wave.
Turning around he closed the door, locked it and creaked his way off the porch to his car. Muttering to himself about noisy neighbors and crazy agents and demon cats.