Toads all over Koopa’s Tycoon Town were protesting the arrival of Princess Peach for a formal ceremony dedicating a statue of Knot-Wing the Koopa, a philanthropist who had recently passed away. They were all dressed in bright pink clothes and holding signs reading things like, “Koopas Get Out!” and “Mushroom Kingdom for Mushrooms!”

There were chants and there were yells, but things were calm until Peach herself arrived at the scene. She stood to the back of the ceremony, coming forward only at the end to cut the ribbon.

“I only knew Knot-Wing briefly during his time on Earth,” she said from some prepared remarks. “But from what I knew of him, he was a gentle, caring--”

Someone threw a bottle of Courage Soda and it shattered just at Peach’s feet. Several Toad Guardsmen stepped forward and pointed their spears towards the crowd. Peach was quickly escorted back towards a secure Warp Pipe away.

“Gut the traitors!” a Toad shouted.

“Koopallaborators!” another added.

And then with little warning, chaos broke out. Twenty or more Koopas, dressed in all-black and wearing bandanas over their faces, entered the crowd and began accosting the Toad protestors. “Koopas resist!” one of the black-clad figures said just before punching a pink-clad Toad in the face.

They pushed the Toads away, stole their signs, and it quickly escalated into an all-out brawl. The Toad Guardsmen stood in front of all the officials, waiting for a protestor or someone to charge the statue and attack, but it never happened; they were too interested in beating each other up.

Later that night, the statue was blown up by a rogue agent with a spare Bob-omb. The fights would continue throughout the week.

***

There was an explosion outside, rocking the bunker and making General Guy spill his Zess Tea all over himself.

Oh, what a bother.

But those explosions were a good thing, he noted. It meant that the enemy forces were falling right into his trap and were colliding with the mines floating just above the ground. Knowing the usual way these attacks went, they had just sent in their Hammer Bros, and those forces were being decimated to make way for the more valuable Bullet Bill barrage forces. But General Guy had confidence in his men to take down the cannons before they had been finished setting up. They always did.

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Shy Guys may have been bad at social interaction, and they may not have been bright. But they sure as Underwhere were good fighters, and that was a fact.

General Guy was going to pour himself a new cup of tea, because he needed some extra energy while he plotted the rebellion’s next move. They had lost a quarter of their territory in recent days, but they were easily going to get it back so long as they...

The explosions stopped.

What was going on now? General Guy sped from his current position in the bunker and near the main entrance. If the Shy Guys had been defeated, then they would have blown the hatch and sealed this place off from the outside. The only other way in was through an elaborate maze-like system of tunnels only General Guy had the map to, and that would never be breached, not in a million years. So they couldn’t have lost, surely. But the explosions should still have been going on if the battle was still going. No side could have defeated the other that quickly.

He found a viewport that led to the surface and looked around. Lots of Shy Guys laying around. Lots of Hammer Bros, too. And then-- Whoa baby! Giant eye in front of the viewport!

This had glasses on, so it definitely wasn’t a Mr. I ready to burst in and start shooting bubbles all up the place.

It was too bad he couldn’t communicate-- Oh, the figure was backing up-- hey, wasn’t that one of those Koopalings? The one with the green hair and glasses, uh, the one people called the Conqueror? He was thrown in prison a while back but it looked like he got out... What was he doing out here all by himself?

Waving, is what it looked like. He seemed to want to get in. He held up a magic wand and twirling it around the place, trying to get someone’s attention, and it definitely got his.

He went over to the entrance and unsealed the hatch, where he could let new soldiers in if they needed. Any good tactician would do this for another good tactician.

And...

There were a group of Hammer Bros waiting outside the entrance.

That Koopaling came down as fast as he could and reached General Guy, where he was laughing and running... and transforming back into Doopliss. “Man, you guys are so easy!” he shouted. “I keep pulling the same trick and I got the whole darn Shy Guy Army!”

General Guy was at a loss for words.

And he was at a loss for men, and a loss for victories.

He lost.

“I’m gonna keep doing this man,” Doopliss said. “I don’t even care what the pay is. It’s so much fun!”