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The Glory of Bowsette
Chapter 31: Highway Diner

Chapter 31: Highway Diner

Bowsette, Peach, and Boom Boom were now near Moonview Highway, right at the border of the Mushroom Kingdom. It took a day to leave the confines of Dark Land, dodging Lantern Ghost patrols and nearly falling into a nest of Lunge Fish as they entered the Secret Swamp. It was another day until they reached civilization again, a place to take refuge.

How Peach did this all on her own the first time was beyond Bowsette... though, knowing her, she probably took a plane as far as she could and parachuted out onto Dark Land, or something like that.

Now, they were near enough to the Mushroom Kingdom that they could access the Warp Pipe network to quickly travel all along the continent. That was lucky, but it also meant that they needed to solidify their plans, and quickly.

So they decided to find a small diner to stop at and eat, the Tangerino Grill, so they could discuss plans. And using a spare Bowser Phone that Peach somehow had access to, they called up a friend... or should Bowsette say, an ally. Definitely not a friend.

“Glad to be here,” said Nabbit, sitting on a cushion so that his head could reach above the table at this booth. Bowsette sat next to the window, across from Peach. She had kind of hoped that they would be sitting next to each other, but it was nice to be able to look at her face like this.

Not that she...

Oh, who was she kidding about that. She had tried marrying Peach far too many times to admit that it was just mere geopolitical-fueled kidnappings. Peach was a true beauty, and the fact that Bowsette looked so much like her was not a minus at all.

“We’re glad to have you here,” Boom Boom said, sitting next to Bowsette and putting his arm up on the booth around her, presumably to stretch out his very long arms that had been in chains for several months. He had better not be getting fresh anytime soon, though, because Bowsette ain’t gonna have kind reactions to that, let her tell you. “However, Boom Boom doesn’t think we’ve been introduced.”

“I’m Nabbit,” said Nabbit. “I bag it, I grab it. I nab it. That’s my name. Get it? Huh?”

“Yeah...” Boom Boom gave Bowsette a side-eye glance, and Bowsette shrugged.

“So, what do you need bagged? Or grabbed? Give me the details. Tell me about it. I wanna listen.” Peach quietly reached and grabbed the coffee from in front of Nabbit and set it on the table in the booth behind her.

“We’re about to embark on a quest,” Peach said.

“A quest? What kind? Defeating Bowser again? Saving the Sprixies? Saving the Princess? A different Princess, I mean?”

“We’re trying to defeat Emperor Morton Koopa,” Bowsette said. “He’s the most powerful Koopa in a thousand years, sixteen feet tall and currently a pile of bones attached together by twisted dark magic. He’s set to envelop the world into an eon of darkness if he gets his way.”

“Ah. That’s a toughie. Pretty interesting. Gotta think about it. No way. Too dangerous,” Nabbit said. Without missing a beat, he added. “Name a price. Yeah, I’ll think about it. Done. Fifty percent and it’s done.”

“Fifty percent of... what?” Boom Boom asked.

“Net profit.”

“This... this is a mission to save the world, not to make money,” Boom Boom said.

Nabbit shrugged with his nubby little arms. “Fifty percent of all loot.”

“Fifteen percent and that’s final,” Bowsette said, crossing her arms. “Your task is to help us go around the world and contact all of my-- all of Bowser’s old lieutenants. His generals and commanders and old allies.”

“Ah, we’re handing out the call. Telling them to gather. Gonna build an army.”

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“That’s about right,” Bowsette said. “As many as we can reach. I’m talking Tutankoopa, Petey Piranha, Big Montgomery, Porcupuffer... Anyone. Heck, bring us Chef Torte and we’ll accept him.”

“Understood. I’ll grab them, bag them, send them over. Express shipping.”

“Thank you, Nabbit,” Peach said. “And if you end up nabbing anything of material value... you can keep it for yourself. It’s all yours.”

“Already done.” Nabbit held Peach’s Blue Shell power-up in his hands. She definitely wasn't getting that back.

Nabbit hopped out of the booth and dashed away without another word.

He was a trustworthy ally, but... untrustworthy at the exact same time. The ultimate enigma. He’d get the job done, but the wonder was whether he actually heard the instructions correctly.

Speaking of trustworthy...

Bowsette looked to her side at Boom Boom.

“So...” she said.

“So.” Boom Boom closed his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, you know Boom Boom. He’s getting out of here. He’s happy to be out of prison, but... he can’t go on with this plan.”

“Bowing out halfway through, like usual,” Bowsette grumbled.

“Boom Boom’s very sorry. He’ll be watching you from the sidelines, cheering you on. Is that okay?”

“Whatever.”

“Sorry.” Boom Boom removed his arm from the booth. He got up, did a little bow as he always did, and walked out of the restaurant.

Bowsette cried a little bit again. This new sensation of not having to hold back her emotions... it kind of made her feel good. But it gave her that ugly crying face everyone always complained about.

In response, Peach moved to the other side of the booth and put her arms around her. “It’ll be okay, Bowsette...”

“It’s never okay... Boom Boom always does this. Why can’t he just stick with it? Why doesn’t he believe in us?”

“We can still save the world. You and me.”

Peach and Bowsette... Bowsette blushed and pushed Peach away. “Sorry,” she said when she realized what she had done. “You’re right. We need to figure out out plan and make sure to follow through perfectly.”

“Right.” Peach pulled out a whole notebook from her pocket, which didn’t seem possible but she still did it. “So I’ve sketched out all the things we need to do so far,” she begins. “First things first, and this is major, we need to get your magic back.”

“Yeah, that’s... important,” Bowsette said. Not being able to harness the very thing that allowed her to defeat Morton Koopa last time was a major downgrade. “But.. how?”

“Well, I’m still working on that, but I imagine we might be able to... well, bargain with the Mushroom Soul specter that took your powers in the first place.”

“Bargain with an ephemeral, unthinking beast?”

“Somehow.”

“Okay. And then we have to gather all the Generals, of course,” Bowsette said.

“And we’ll approach it like this: we’ll take a map, go East to West, North to South across the continent, trying to find every single former ally of yours that you think will be useful. You can go through this later and fill it in so we can plan a route better.”

“If I even know where King Boo is these days...”

“And I think it might be useful to go to a few other places around the world, if you know what I mean...”

“I am NOT asking K.Rool for help.” Bowsette shook her head with great ferocity.

Peach shrugged. “Just a thought.”

“Will we have the Mushroom Kingdom at our disposal?” Bowsette asked.

“Actually... right now we’re going through a kind of tough time,” Peach admitted. “A lot of areas are trying to secede, and our armies are currently occupied with... keeping the peace. It’s... all your fault.”

Bowsette took the blame with more pride than she should have.

“Well then, I guess we’ll have to rely on my people only,” Bowsette said. “If we amass a force we can invade, and the people will quickly turn on Morton. As long as he hasn’t returned to his full form we will be able to overwhelm him. Though... some magical device to seal him away forever would be nice.”

“It certainly would... Were you serious about the Firestone Amulet being destroyed?”

“Yes. Shattered into a million pieces, carried into the wind and out to sea. It can never be reformed again. And I spent years assembling it in the Kalimari Desert. My crowning achievement. It’s... a metaphor for my life, isn’t it?” Bowsette began to cry again.

“Oh, Bowsette...”

They had a whole lot of planning left to do. With Nabbit on his way to accomplishing, uh, something, and Boom Boom once again abandoning his friends, the brunt of the burden laid on these two women. It was up to them to save the Earth from destruction by Morton Koopa.

That was going to require Bowsette to stop crying, though.