I was drifting off to sleep again as my eyes fell down without restraint. I didn’t have time to redeem myself as not a “retarded cat” in the systems fucked up eyes. I just needed rest, even though I drank a potion, and was stitched up.. My.. hmm. I guess my body didn’t hurt, but my very soul did.

Flashbacks of the excruciating pain went through me as the spear impaled me, went through my mind like sputtering water being filtered out. I couldn’t remove all that nasty gunk though, it stuck to a filter. I need to metaphorically clean the filter. The filter being my mind.

I lay calmly in bed thinking things over as my eyes got heavier and heavier.

I went through all that battle yesterday, and I realized I never noticed the pain during it, it was definitely there though, but like a television screen that's on in the background. It’s there but you don’t really notice it. Now with nothing but time and safely around me, all I could do was focus on the pain, not any pain I have right now.. No.. the pain of these past days.

I wasn’t prepared for all this, I was a lonely and sad soul trying to find safety in anything I could. Escaping the world that I knew I had to face eventually. Never did I imagine my way of facing the world, would be by being thrown in a new one as a woman.

I wanted my mother desperately, I wanted to cling to her and tell her I’d get a job, any fucking job. Any god damn job in the world is better than breaking your bones to survive, any job is better than being raped in the light of day in a forest, surely it must be. My thoughts were like the aftermath of a tsunami, broken and all over the place. I needed to sort this shit out now before I could go on anymore. My hope level is currently at 22%, and.. Dropping.

I feel like I’ve been going in and out of consciousness as I think and sleep things over. There was no rush anymore. Don’t go back out into that scary fucking world yet, enjoy the comfort of this cabin, the comfort of the fur blankets wrapped tightly around me, enjoy the feeling of swaying like a baby craddle.. Wait.. why am I swaying like a baby cradle? All through my sleep I occasionally heard loud noises and movement. Finally jolting awake a bit properly I realized I was being carried! Bed and all! Up stairs in the cabin that weren’t there when I slept.

“Ahh, Finally awake eh? You don’t honestly believe I’d sleep on the floor or something now did ya? I need my room back”.

He spoke nonchalantly as he threw me and the entire bed into a newly built second floor, into an empty room the bed slid across the shining wooden floor diagonally. I was sitting up now moving my arms in circles to balance myself from falling off.

“Night night spoiled crazy woman, you can keep the bed, I don’t think there's even god tier magic that can remove the nasty snot and tears you managed to let get into it.”

With his last words spoke, a finely crafted door that had lovely designs in it was shut closed, surprisingly gently. The door had an indent all around it, like a rectangle was popped out, and the rectangle read like a book, except instead of letters, there were drawings, beautifully carved drawings of men on horses, men with spears, men holding shields, battles raging on from the left side to the right.

The right side of the door’s people had devil horns, and long flicked tails, the left sides group had angel wings, and a halo around their head. He could read me like a fucking book couldn’t he? Both my past with the costume as a half devil angel, and now the reality here, I am always so torn. Maybe I’m bipolar and my mother dressed me appropriately at a young age. A small chuckle escaped my lips, yea right. Calming myself down again from the commotion, I accepted I was still safe here. My guess is Elzare got fed up with my shit, and made me my own fucking room, that was part of a newly built second floor.

My god how long did I sleep? Or how fast does he work? I’m guessing his carving and woodworking is something that was a part of his avatar’s intelligence/personality he learned over the years, I’m willing to bet he’s trained it the moment I deleted him.

It was stunning work, I truly don’t know how he did it, the floor was the shiniest I ever saw, a window of the small apartment type room held the carvings of a master wrapped around it, the walls were smooth and perfect, completely empty, open to my own desires. Elzare really is too nice to me, not wanting to but not being able to help it anymore, a single, happy tear fell down onto the apparently disgusting fur blankets Elzare talked about.

I want to pay him back, I really do, but how could I? He’s level I don’t even know anymore and could probably part the fucking sea with his strength and agility now, with this new world, this reality where game like mechanics are real. What do you give a man that has everything? I honestly don’t think I’d still be alive if not for Elzare, both literally, and mentally. He stopped my death from that rapist, the goblin spear thrower, and my mind from crumbling with his unique conversationalist skills, his genuine actions, and the look in his face that almost told me he was worried. I don’t love him though, by no means, in fact I’m still very much a guy even with this new body, my mind is that of a man.

I don’t see him in that light, instead I got a strange feeling.. An odd feeling. A feeling of a father, which is fucked up right? I’ve know him for how long now? My own father could never invoke this feeling in me, yet here I lay, 26 years old, transformed into a woman, being confused as to why I see the character I created, that’s shorter than me, as a father figure. I think I’ve said this before, but this is truly a bizarre world. I think it’s time I got up. Carefully pulling the thick fur blankets off me, and adjusting myself to a sitting position, I realized just how fucked I was last night.

The potion I drank healed my wounds, but the work of Elzare was still there, thick stitching, bandages wrapped all around me from every which way, that were soaked red in my own blood. He couldn’t force feed me a potion because of some weird game rules regarding npcs, and I was out cold last night, so this was his solution. I couldn't believe he stitched me up that quickly, I had no medical skills/healing when I played as Elzare, another thing unique to his avatar I suppose?

“You probably want these if you are finally getting up” the door flung open and clothes flew towards my face at an incredible speed, hitting my head as it creaked back ever so slight.

JESUS MAN, you could kill me with those insane stats, even with just clothes I fucking bet. Now laying in my lap was some simple clothes, cotton maybe? I can’t recall if there's cotton in this world or not, as I never had any need for it. The pants baggy and beige, the shirt was short sleeved and tight, maybe dyed green? Or maybe the natural material was green. I looked like I was preparing for something military related.

“It’s all I have at the time, don’t have such a strange look on your psycho face. Heres some silver too, like I said in my note, I don’t mind you being here, but don’t kill no more villagers, or fuck up my cabin, and we are alright.” He gently set silver coins on the floor next to the open door.

“I’m going to sleep for once, try not to get yourself killed.” He shrugged off with a slight wave behind him as he walked away.

The monetary value here was bronze, silver, and gold coins, I knew that much at least from playing the game itself. Some places take different things though, I personally never encountered one that did, so gold and silver was the way to go.

Deciding that it was time to try to enjoy life, I closed the door, ripped my bandages off, and slipped on my new clothes, gently slid the money into my very big, but primitive pockets. I wanted to walk around the village, see what they had to offer, wait.. What time is it? Looking out the window my eyes settled on a bright windy day as the leaves fell from the trees. Ahh, sounds like Elzare to me, sleeping at this hour.

I walked at a snail's pace back to the familiar village I first popped into at. Feelings of regret swamped over me with each step.. Did Elzare’s lie work? Will they think I’m the good twin?

“Halt! You match the Identification of a wanted criminal! Give me your id card” Damn these guys were sneaky, did they already replace the villages watch? Not knowing what to do, and not wanting to cause trouble I raised my hands.

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“I don’t have an ID card, sir” Addressing him with as much politeness as I could muster.

“Alright, keep your hands right there and wait one second”

He was now speaking into his hand with that same blue glow I saw before.

“We need an ID kit brought out here, there's a person here matching the description of a wanted criminal, but seems to have lost her ID card”

After a few moments of awkward silence and the breeze of the forest washing over us, a man clad in extremely shiny iron armor, with a long red flowing cape, a helmet held off to his side, and some sort of odd looking device in his other hand, walked towards us.

“Captain! I didn’t realize you would bring it yourself” the guard said as he kneeled.

“After the last incident, I’m taking every precaution. Hello Ma’am. You are either the crazy bitch who killed my men not too long ago returning to the crime, the same crazy bitch who stumped, in my opinion a great cleric as you laid unconscious,  or her sister, if it’s the first case I promise your head on a goddamn pike soon, if it’s the second, you better pray to all your gods that I’m a good enough man to not hold grudges based on a family's actions.”

With a prick of my hand, in less than a millisecond he stood in front of me, sweat rolled down my brows. Wait.. if he was that fast what took him so fucking long? Almost letting out a chuckle, but maintaining eye contact, I had to trust Elzare.

“My mistake Miss Rosalin, it seems you are the criminals sister based on our description from a trusted informant, if you ever see her though, tell her she’s not welcome here, hide as far as you can like a fucking insect, because the moment I find her, she’s not getting the privilege of a jail cell.” He spat on the ground.

Did Elzare manage some fucking magic, how did my ID spit out Rosalin? It occurred to me they would’ve made an ID for me as I was recovering in the village.

“Welcome to our little village Rosalin, enjoy your stay, and might I suggest you find a class soon, it’s not the brightest idea to be level 10 without a class. Also, the village is small but offers many commodities, we are a close knit group, so I’m sure you can understand our turmoil after what your sister did, apologizes for the bluntness here, you may go now. Leoric! Return to patrol, good job.”

Slowly escaping the feeling of impending death, I walked towards what seemed to be the village square. That captain of the guards was strong, I could see it. I could feel it the moment he disappeared only to be seen in front of me, but he seemed pretty noble too, I just need to keep myself in check. I wanted to know why someone so strong, had people under him who were level 1 when I slaughtered them?

Did I kill the noob watch? Shouldn’t they have had a veteran with them?  Also thinking about it, why would it say my class was nothing? Just how secret is a Crimson Paladin? I don’t know, or really carry anymore, I just wanted to maybe buy some things.

I was walking down the village path and heard a loud clanging noise as sparks flew into the open dirt road. Quick succession of loud metal tings, then the misty sound of hot lava cooling, more orange mist flew into the path, with sparks appearing like fireworks. Creeping my head around the corner, I saw a man hammering away at the red hot shape of a sword. Ahh, the towns Blacksmith, eh?

“Eh, Lassie? Admiring my work? Want to see my tools.. Or well.. My other tool! Ha” Of fucking course a dwarf was the one working the blade, why would it be anything less? Than again I knew most peaceful races were actually intertwined to great lengths, elfs could be with humans, humans with dwarfs, so on and so forth, so I guess it wasn’t that uncommon, plus dwarfs start with innate crafting bonuses.

“Hey fuc-” I was about to finally reply

“Ahha! Don’t worry lass, it’s not the size that counts, it’s how you use it! The Dwarf moto when it comes to love ma- ermm.. Blacksmithing! Yeah”

“Names Bronze Beard, I know, be amazed, let it simmer in just how great of fine dwarfsman crafter name that be, sorry for my jokes, but surely you understand how hot it is in here? Is there something wrong with wanting to share some hotness?” He stupidly chucked to himself as he.. Could only be described as humping the air! What a scene, he was actually kind of funny, but I did not like how blatant he was, I won’t be having sex again for a very long time, let alone with some dwarf around the corner because a few jokes.

“As I said, Fuc-”

“Alright, alright lassie, I went too far” A fairly nice sword was tossed into the ground next to me.

“Free of charge, I’ll try to keep my tools where they belong in the future, just gotta understand, a hot lass like you don’t turn the corner of my shop any ole day. I hope I didn’t scare away a potential customer.”

Hmm, maybe I could grow to like this fellow, just had the courage to chase after what he wanted, and I sorta understand after spending so long making this character.

“I’ll forgive you if you answer two questions with what I want to hear, one, how much does this sword cost? And two, would you ever take an apprentice under you?”

I could see his cheeks getting red. “I would in a dwarfs heartbeat! I’d imagine it might be faster, blood don’t have to travel very far down me short limbs! I can imagine it now, getting all hot in the forge.. Need the sweat wiped.. Having to--.. I’m sorry”

“I never said the apprentice would be me, dear Mr Dwarf” I used my womanly charm to tease. I know this is fucked up, like I’m a drag queen or something, but my god this was fun.

“That there sword cost. Hmm..  Maybe 50 bronze coins?” He stuttered in reply catching himself.

Chucking a silver coin at him, as he caught it gracefully. Truly a craftsman’s Dexterity. I told him I’d be back tomorrow to learn. I took the sword from the ground as I walked away. I heard him mutter to himself in the distance.

“My god, I think I need to cool my sword off in the coldest bucket of water from the highest reaches of Kalthra Mountains! I must prepare.”

I wonder if they had some sort of bath type thing in this place. Rounding another corner, I bumped into a familiar face.

“Joseph! I’m glad to see you are alright”

“My god, you too! Was worried I’d need to get another shovel after I heard what happened at the north parameter.. Is it true though, what you did?”

He was a good man too, I need to pay him and his son back, I’m not sure how much money goes around in this place, that sword looked really nice actually for only 50 bronze, pulling at 5 silver coins I handed it to him. I had 4 coins left now.

“Whoa whoa now, do you shit out gold in you private times? I can’t possibl-” I was already walking away, he’s too nice.

“At least don’t make it be known you have that kind of money, this village is nice, but by no means the safest, tread carefully” he whispered to me catching up.

“And.. thank you”

Now with 4 coins left, I shopped around the village at my own leisure, I decided to buy a crude sewing kit, some fabric, a second set of clothes, and even lifted up a dresser from a primitive furniture shop, it was surprisingly light.. But I was struggling still.

Setting it down, I decided to spend 5 points in strength real quick, sitting in the dirt floor as the world soared above me, quickly spending the points I was up to 10 Strength, with 15 points remaining. I figured strength will be important anyway. Picking the dresser back up felt like childs play now, I lugged it around my shoulder as the shelfs slowly almost fell out.

“Ma’am! Are you positive you don’t need help?”

“Yup, thank you though.”

I continued my stroll through the village with a large dresser slung over my shoulder, I got many looks and glances. I was heading back towards the cabin, as I got more and more looks. Soon out of the sight of the villagers, I started to understand Elzare’s need to have a remote cabin all the way out this way.

I opened the door slowly as I set the dresser on the front porch, trying not to wake Elzare, picking the dresser back up, and squeezing through the door, with little to no sounds, I was halfway there.. Almost in slow motion, I saw a drawer fall out about to make a loud noise. I couldn’t stop it.

In the next moment, a cold dagger lay hovering over my throat, as the shape of Elzare disappeared from his bed.

“Rosie.. I’m sorry” His hand lowered.

“No.. uhh.. I’m sorry too, I should’ve been more careful, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Don’t mention it” He shrugged off heading back to his bed, but before I knew it, the weight on my shoulder lifted, the drawer gone, my upstairs door slung open. Looking back at Elzare he was in his bed. Running upstairs to see his magic, lay the perfect dresser I just bought, all drawers closed neatly, sitting near my East wall, the door opened exactly enough to not block any of the drawers.

I set my remaining 2 silver on top it, the sewing kit, my second set of clothes and a few sheets of fabric,  I need a bath man. I left the comfort of this cabin, leaving into the scary world again, grabbing a bucket and another fur towel, I went off to the river I first used.

Nothing happened though, just the lovely sounds of birds chirping as I cleaned myself in no time at all. I was already on my way back, heading straight up the stairs, straight to my room, straight into the bed.

Relaxation came to me, a sort of peace of mind, slowly was starting to form. This world is brutal, I need to take it one step at a time, because it has the potential to be so much more. My eyes closed again, blackness embraced me in the comfort of something I could call my own.

Hope, Total is 79