I spent hours of cleaning away every drop of blood that was stuck to my skin like a fly on shit. Blood was under my nails, and in my hair clumped up like super glue. I never washed long hair before as Ryu, ya know being a guy an all.

Never in my years did I imagine the trouble of washing long golden locks that had blood stuck to their very fiber. It took what seemed to be several hundred splashes of the bucket over my head before I felt even an inkling of being clean.

Across my slender arms water flowed over me, down my toned but modest stomach, down my long legs that shined in the sunlight. My hands glided all over me rubbing away the filth of these last few days, if only it worked for clearing your brain out.

Actually, it kinda did to be frank. During the hours I used washing and cleaning myself, I had little to do but ponder my life to this point. My brain was like a giant library and some fuck face came along and knocked down every shelf they could see.

I was fragile, I am weak right now, maybe not in the physical sense after my last brutal display, but in the mental sense. My stomach churned as I recalled just exactly what I did to Danny and the guards that protected that poor village. They are now defenceless and their families were left with the sight of a massacre right on the front fucking door step.

I'm surprised I wasn't hunted down by someone, an angry family member maybe? A guard I forgot about? I don't, maybe I even wanted someone to come and kill me.

Grasping for air, holding my chest tight, immeasurable pain swamped over me.

You are close to losing hope young paladin, do not tread down this mental battle.  Lost Hope will trigger if you do.

Lost hope? What in fucks name was that now? How do I see my abilities!? Damn it.

What have I even become anymore? When blood touches my skin I get an overwhelming feeling to kill, power surges through me like some sort of drug, and I don't know who or what I become.

Elzare! The thought suddenly occurred to me that Elzare might know how to check your status screen, or at least maybe he can inspect me and tell me what's going on.

I quickly finished washing myself, dried with a sorta smelly fur towel that Elzare provided, and then donned my new.. well slightly rusty set of armor Elzare also provided for me.

Before I knew it my brain auto piloted right to the front door. Looking around to see if Elzare was anywhere to be seen, I let out a sigh as there wasn't hide nor hare of him. Almost given up I said fuck it.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

"Elzare! If you are around come out please!"

in a flash a flimsy elven man stood in front of me. It was pretty funny actually, I set my height as Rosie to be as tall as humans could be, much to my surprise it was 7 foot tall. Elzare was maybe 5 and a half feet tall? I just realized the humorous situation and almost let out a chuckle but caught myself.

He was still higher level, and as far as I was concerned, older and wiser, my height meant nothing here, though I highly doubted he would've killed me or something for poking fun at his height.

"I'm not your butler, what do you want? I'm a busy ma-- err elf ya know?

"How do you view your status screen?"

"Are you a daft child?" letting out a sigh as if he had enough of my shit, he continued

"You simply imagine yourself in the heavens, think, that you are a god almost, inspecting your creation, think of the clouds swaying up high, think of the stars shining in the sky, think of yourself floating there, being inspected by an almost omnipotent force." He stopped thinking to himself

"Once you do that, magical blue windows appear as you look at yourself all around you, you can simply look at them to open or expand the information provided" he let out a small laugh

"Fuck, now that you mention it, it is pretty bizarre. Now is that all?"

"Thank you Elzare, you have helped me more than I thought possible since I've come to this world." Looking up after I subconsciously bowed, he was gone! That bastard, ehh, I supposed I was antisocial when I played as him though, I'm shocked he's helped me to such extent and continues to do as such.

Thinking back what that elf man said, I cleared my mind, even sat on the front porch of the cabin in an almost meditative type state, probably looking foolish as fuck.

Without a moment's notice, My vision was flying up high to the sky like a soaring eagle. What I saw floating in the middle of my sight was a blonde beauty, freshly cleaned from the spoils of war, looking at me. Then the most disturbing thing happened, she fucking blinked at me like a flirt! How is my own body.. erh avatar?? Moving around right now?

I decided not to question anything anymore. Floating along with her as I inspected her was blue screens.

Crimson Paladin Rosie, Level 5

Crimson.. crimson? Crimson?? What the fuck was a crimson paladin? For the next few hours I studied my stats, abilities, passives, and anything else I could get a hold of.

Name: Rosie

Level: 5

Race: Human

Title: None

Health: 175/175 

Mana: 0/0

Blood: 0

Hope: 40%

Strength: 5

Agility : 5

Intelligence : 5

Wisdom : 5

Charisma: 5

Luck : 5

Vitality : 5

Defence : 0