So there I was...in bed. Sleeping in bed...without a shirt on. That's right I was sleeping in my bed shirtlessly...with my big-ass teddy bear. At least I have my underwear on. My pink underwear brief on. My light pink underwear brief with dark pink dots on it. I have my blanket covering up to my neck and my teddy bear's neck.

While my future best friend Cinnamon is about to have her rude awakening, I was sleeping, tossing and turning several minutes apart after falling asleep for several hours. Unlike Cinnamon - who, again, had a rude awakening from her mom - I instead got awaken by the sound of alarm. The sound of alarm that is coming from...my alarm clock. Duh! No fire alarm nor smoke alarm. Just an alarm clock alarm. Okay let me put it to you this way: an alarm from my alarm clock. Better? Okay, good.

As my alarm clock starts to alarm, I started pulling the left side of my upper body up out of my pillow and a small potion directly of my bed and tilted slightly around facing the front, essentially sitting up besides my teddy bear in the process. Afterwards, I start yawning while stretching my arms simultaneously. I then stopped yawning at the same time as I was putting my arms down on the bed. As I was doing that, I'm glancing at my bedroom door, which is closed. I then pull my blanket off of me, turn towards my left side, scooch myself forward before I got up off of my bed. I then start heading towards my bedroom door and place my hand onto the door knob and start turning it, opening the door in the process. Once I opened my bedroom door, I take my hand off of the door knob and walked out of my bedroom. Yes, I walked out of my bedroom with my underwear on. But here's the thing, here's the fucking thing: it's normal. It's normal for me to wear underwear in the house. My mom and my aunt wouldn't mind me wearing underwear in the house. (PLEASE NOTE: if you're thinking about only wearing underwear in your home, I can't say don't be like me...,because if you want to wear underwear at home, you can.....just use your judgment.)

As my mom and my aunt are still hunting evil creatures, I was the last one to wake up in the morning. I was all alone…at least for the moment, but that didn’t stop me from taking the most important meal of the deal into my own hands. Usually, it's my mom who's doing the cooking and stuff but sometimes in the early morning, when she got tasked by her aunt or feels the needs to fight evil creatures with her aunt, she apparently leaves the breakfast cooking to myself, which I can absolutely handle...because I'm really good at cooking breakfast. Matter of fact, I'm really good at cooking beyond breakfast.

After I woke up like a man, I then head downstairs and head towards the kitchen. Once I got to the kitchen, I took out a pan out of a cabinet and place the pan onto one of the four burners of the stove, aka the bottom-left burner. Then I took out another pan out of that same cabinet (as well as a spatula) and placed onto the second burner of the stove, aka the bottom-right burner. I then take out the eggs out of the refrigerator and placed them on the kitchen counter. Then I take out the cooking oil out of the pantry and placed it onto the counter besides the cold-ass eggs.

I then turn on the bottom left burner to get the first pan warm the fuck up. I then glanced at the physical minute minder timer, which was placed at the other kitchen counter. I grabbed it and set the timer to two minutes before placing at the kitchen counter where the cold-ass eggs, the spatula and the cooking oil are placed onto. (PLEASE NOTE that every stove in the world is completely different and every method of preheating the burners are completely different and my way to warm my pots doesn't work on everyone so do your due diligence on preheating the burners of the stove.) I then take two steps backwards and place both of my hands on both of my hips as I wait for the time to go off.

Two minutes later, the physical minute minder timer went off like a ringing bell from school. I then takes two steps forward back towards the stove before I pull the physical minute minder timer away from the kitchen counter back to the other kitchen counter. I then hoover my left hand over the first pan to see if the pan was warmed up; it is warmed up so I'll start cooking the first dish of breakfast.

I grabbed the cooking oil and start opening it. Once I open it, I pour some of the cooking oil onto the pan before I closed the cooking oil and pit back onto the kitchen counter. I then take one egg out of the egg carton and cracked it before I pour the yolk onto the pan before throwing the eggshells into the trash can. I then do the same thing with the second egg. Once I put the two yolks on the pan, I then grab the spatula and start flipping the yolks upside down and slightly pressing against the flipped yolks with the spatula for a few seconds. After I left the yolks there for a few seconds.

I started the same process for the second pan, well the same early process: I turned on the bottom right burner, set the timer for two minutes and wait for the second pan to warm the fuck up.

While I was waiting for the second pan to warm up, I then grab a plate...no actually two plates out of a different cabinet and placed them onto the kitchen counter, pushing the egg carton and the cooking oil aside slightly.

As soon as I placed the plates there, my aunt showed up with a copy of the day’s issue of The Washington Post on her right hand. From my point of view, she wears a two piece outfit spaghetti strap sleeveless crop top as well as shorts. She also has beautiful long hair that is tied up to a ponytail as well as colorfully-painted fingernails that never cut for years and high heel sandals.

"Good morning Aunt Catherine," I said.

"Good morning Calhoun," my aunt said.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you my name up until my aunt just said it: my name is Calhoun. Calhoun Cherryousky. And I would tell much about me at this point but I'm busying cooking some awesome-ass shit right now so I would talk about myself at another time, thank you.

"So what are you cooking for breakfast?" she asked.

"What am I cooking for breakfast?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"Well I'm cooking eggs, french toast, casserole, pancakes and among other things," I said.

"Okay," she said.

"So how was you guys’ evil creature hunting this morning?" I asked her.

"How was our evil creature hunting this morning?" she replied.

"Yeah," I prompted.

"It was good," she said. “Your mom is still kicking butt so…she would come home in a few minutes.” She would go to the living room and start reading WaPo.

Once my aunt left for awhile, I then grabbed the cooking oil and open it. Then I pour some of it into the second pot that is still on the bottom-right burner of the stove. I then closed the cooking oil and put it back onto the kitchen counter. I then hold the handler of the second pot and extremely slowly move the pot back and forth before I put it down.

I then grab another egg out of the egg carton, cracked it and pour the yolk out of that egg onto the oil in the second pot. I then throw away the egg shells into the trash.

I did the same thing to the fourth egg; grab yet another egg, cracked it, pour the yolk onto the second pot, throw away the egg shells into the trash.

I then grabbed the spatula and moved back to the first pot which still has the first two yolks frying up on the pot. I then use the spatula towards the first pot and flip the yolks back. Now I get two fried eggs in the process. I then place the spatula onto each of the two fried eggs and press against them.

I then move the spatula out and take out a plate out of the cabinet and placed it onto the kitchen counter. Then I took out another plate out of that same cabinet and, as I head back towards the kitchen counter, scooch the first plate forward to make some space before placing the second plate onto the kitchen counter.

I then head back towards the bottom-left pot, aka the first pot, while still holding onto the spatula with one hand and I move the spatula towards the first fried egg and lifts the fried egg underneath and holds it onto the spatula. I then move the spatula with the fried egg on it let the egg off the spatula and placed the said fried egg onto the second plate.

I then head back towards the bottom-right pot, aka the second pot, while still holding onto the spatula with one hand and I move the spatula towards the second fried egg and lifts the said fried egg underneath and holds it onto the spatula. I then move the spatula with the said fried egg on it and placed the said fried egg onto the same second plate.

I then moved back to the second pot which still has the second two yolks frying up on the pot. I then use the spatula towards the first pot and flip the yolks into the opposite direction and press the spatula against each of those yolks. They're still yolks; they're not fried eggs yet.

After that, I place the egg carton off the kitchen counter and placed onto the other kitchen counter. I also take the second plate - the plate that has the two fried eggs on it - off the kitchen counter and scooch the egg carton forward before placing onto the other kitchen counter.

I then went back towards the first kitchen counter yet again and placed the spatula onto the said counter and grab the cooking oil yet again and open the oil yet again and pour another round of the oil onto the bottom-left pot yet again before I closed the cooking oil and placed it back onto said counter.

Then, after I finished cooking egg breakfast, I start cooking pancakes...the old-fashioned ones.

I took all of the ingredients to cook good-ass old-fashioned pancakes: First, I head towards the pantry, took out the flour, the baking powder, the sugar and the salt. I put each of them on the kitchen counter one-by-one. After that, I open the refrigerator again and take out the milk and butter out of the fridge before slamming the fridge's door with my left arm, closing the refrigerator in the process. I then placed the milk and the butter onto the kitchen counter. Eggs are also an ingredient though there was no space for putting the egg carton on the first counter so I already placed them onto the other kitchen counter.

If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.

I then pull out a sifter and a big bowl out of the cabinet and placed them onto the same counter. After that, I placed t handler sifter onto the edge of the bowl centering it to the center of the bowl. I then start sifting the four, the baking powder, the sugar and the salt through the sifted, mixing them while falling through the bowl in the process. Now this mixture of these ingredients in the bowl is called a pancake mix. After that, I remove the sifter out of the bowl.

Then I head towards the other kitchen counter yet again, grab two eggs out of the egg carton and head back towards the first kitchen counter yet again. I crack one egg and pour the yolk into the pancake mix before I throw away the egg shells into the trash. I then grab the milk and open it before pour a few of it into the pancake mix before I closed it and put it back onto the counter. Then I open up the butter. I then take out a knife and take a slice of the butter and hover the knife with the butter on it over the bowl and take my finger to slice the butter off of the knife, dropping the butter into the pancake mix. I then wipe the knife with the paper towel before putting the knife onto the sink. Don't worry, I would wash the knife in a few minutes to take another piece of the butter in order to make the second round of pancakes and...maybe even more.

I then take out the physical stainless whisk out of a cabinet. Then I stir the pancake mix using the whisk for several seconds. Then several seconds later, the pancake mix has turned into a batter. I then place the whisk onto the counter.

I then take the bowl with my both hands and head towards the stove, pouring the batter onto the cooking oil in the bottom-left pan. I then placed back the bowl onto the kitchen counter.

Knowing that the batter will cook for two to three minutes, I grabbed the spatula and head back towards the bottom-right pan which still has the two yolks been flipped backwards and have been cooking for a few minutes at this point. I then go underneath the top yolk with the spatula and flip it back. Now the top yolk has become a fried egg. I then press against the fried egg with the spatula very slowly. I then flipped the bottom yolk back, making the bottom yolk into another fried egg. Just like the top fried egg, I press against the bottom fried egg with the spatula.

I then leave the yolks for a few more seconds before I grabbed the handler of the bottom-right pot with my other hand and moved it away from the stove and towards the second plate. I then dug underneath the top fried egg with the spatula and placed the fried egg onto the plate. Then I dug underneath the bottom fried egg with the spatula and placed the bottom fried egg onto the same plate with the top fried egg. Afterwards, I then put back the pot onto the bottom-right burner of the stove.

Afterwards, I then grabbed the cooking oil yet again, and open the cooking oil yet again, pour some of the cooking oil onto the bottom-right pot again and let it cook for a few minutes. I then close the cooking oil and place the cooking oil back onto the kitchen counter.

I then head back towards the bottom-left pan, which still has the two batters cooking but haven't flipped yet; at this point the bubbles have been already start to form on the top and the edges of both of the batters look fry and set. Now they're ready to flip. I then dug underneath the top batter with the spatula and flipped it over; now the batter has become a pancake, a buttermilk pancake. A good-ass old-fashioned buttermilk pancake. And the edges of it are evenly golden brown. Just like the fried eggs, I press against the top pancakes with the spatula very slowly before taking the spatula off of the pancake.

Next, I then dig underneath the bottom batter and flipped it over; now the bottom batter as now become the bottom buttermilk pancake, aka another pancake. I then press against it with the spatula before taking the spatula off of the bottom buttermilk pancake.

Now, the pancakes are ready.

So I dug underneath the top pancake and place it off of the bottom-left pan and placed it onto the second plate. Yes, the same plate with the two fried eggs on it. (I will be also putting a second batch of pancakes onto the first plate with the second two fried eggs on it as well.) I then dug underneath the bottom pancake with the spatula and placed it off of the bottom-left pan and placed onto the bottom pancake. Now there's two pancakes sitting on top of each other.

I then placed the spatula down on the kitchen counter and dug underneath the bottom of the second plate with one hand, taking the plate off of the kitchen counter. I then hold the plate as I head back towards the other kitchen counter...yet again and placed the plate onto here while at the same time grab the first plate back at the bottom with my other hand. I then hold the first plate again as I head back towards the first kitchen counter...yet again.

After that, I then grabbed the cooking oil yet again and open the cooking oil yet again and pour yet another round of cooking oil onto the bottom-right pan. After that, I then close the cooking oil yet again and place it back onto the kitchen counter yet again. I then let another round of cooking oil for about a few minutes.

While I was waiting for that oil to cook, I head back towards the bottom-left pan, which still has the cooking oil cooking for at least awhile at this point. Then I did the exact same thing to make a second batch of pancakes, this time onto the bottom-left pan. First, I grab the cooking oil yet again and pour it into the pan. Then I did the same instructions as the other two buttermilk pancakes, so please bear with me: I placed the [part of the] handler sifter onto the edge of the bowl again and centering it to the center of the bowl again. I again start sifting the flour, the baking powder, the sugar and the salt through the sifter, mixing them while falling down through the bowl in the process. Now its is a pancake mix. After that, I remove the sifter out of the bowl again.

I then head towards the other kitchen counter yet again, grab yet another pack of two eggs out of the egg carton and head back towards the first kitchen counter yet again. I crack one egg again and pour the yolk into the pancake mix again before I throw away the egg shells into the trash I then grab the milk and open it before pouring a few of it into the pancake mix again before I closed it and put it back onto the counter.

I then head back towards the sink and grab the dish soap, open it and pour it onto the knife. I then close the dish soap and put it back. After that I touch the hot handler and turning towards the right, letting the water come out of the faucet. I then touch the water handler and turning it towards the left, mixing the hot and cold together and turning the water into warm water. I then move the knife with the dish soap into the warm water and start rinsing the knife.

Seconds later, the knife is clean.

After the knife is clean, I touch the hot and cold handlers and turn them back to where they were – or turn them back to the previous directions, I should say – letting the water stop coming out of the facet almost completely with tiny drops still coming out of it. I than pull out a hand towel and dry off the knife with the hand towel. I then placed knife on top of the closed butter before I throw away the hand towel into the trash can.

I pull the knife away from the closed butter and hold it with one hand while opening up the butter again with my other hand and take a slice of the butter again and hover the knife with the butter on it over the bowl again and take my finger to slice the butter off of the knife again, dropping the butter into the pancake mix again. I then wipe the knife with the paper towel again before putting the knife onto the sink ....again.

Don't worry, I would wash the knife in a few minutes to take another piece of the butter in order to make the second round of pancake and....maybe even more.

I then grab the whisk out of the kitchen counter and stir the pancake mix with it for several seconds again. Then several seconds later, the pancake mix had turned into a batter. I then place the whisk onto the counter again. I then take the bowl with my both hands again and head towards the stove yet again, pouring half the batter onto the cooking oil in the top side of the bottom-right pan again. I then pour the other half of the batter on the bottom side of the pan again. After that, I then placed back the bowl onto the kitchen counter again.

I then let the batters cook for two to three minutes.

While the batters cooks for two to three minutes, I then head back towards the other kitchen counter and grab yet another pack of two eggs out of the egg carton again. I hold each of them with both hands as I head back towards the first kitchen counter. I then placed one egg onto the counter while still holding the other egg with one hand. I then crack that egg before I head back towards the bottom-left pan and pour the yolk onto the cooking oil in the top side of the bottom-left pan.

I then throw the eggshells into the trash.

I then grabbed the other egg and cracked that egg before I headed back towards the bottom-left pan and pour the yolk onto the cooking oil in the bottom side of the bottom-left pan.

Now the pan has two yolks cooking on top of the cooking oil.

With the pan now having two yolks cooking on top of the cooking oil, I then head back towards the bottom left pan that has the two batters still cooking. Like the previous pancakes, the bubbles have been already start to form on the top and the edges of both of the batters look fried up as fuck and set to be flipped as fuck. At this point, they're ready to flip as fuck. Again.

I then grabbed the spatula off of the kitchen counter yet again and head back towards the bottom-left pan again. I then dug underneath the top batter with the spatula and flipped it over; now the batter has become another buttermilk pancake. Like the previous pancakes, the edges of it are evenly golden brown. Just like the fried eggs (and the previous pancakes), I press against the top pancakes with the spatula very slowly before the spatula off of the pancake.

Next I then dig underneath the bottom batter and flipped it over; now the bottom batter has now become the bottom buttermilk pancake, aka yet another pancake. I then press against it with the spatula before taking the spatula off of the bottom buttermilk pancake.

Now, the second round of pancakes are ready.

So I grabbed the handler of the bottom right pan with one hand while still holding the spatula on the other hand. I then hold both of them as I head back towards the first plate, which still has the two fried eggs on there. I dug underneath the top pancake with the spatula and placed it off of the bottom-right pan and placed it onto the plate. After that, I then dug underneath the bottom pancake with the spatula and placed the pancake onto the top pancake. So now this plate has two buttermilk pancakes stacked on top of each other.

I then head back towards the stove and place the bottom-right pan back onto the bottom right burner.

Now the first plate has the same thing as the second plate: two good-ass old-fashioned buttermilk pancakes on top of each other and two fried eggs.

I then dug underneath the bottom of the first plate with one hand, pulling it off of the first kitchen counter. I then hold it again as I head back towards the other kitchen counter yet again. I then scooch the second plate forward to give some room for the first plate. I then placed the first plate onto that space afterwards.

I then place the pans off of the burners and placed them onto the kitchen sink.

After that, I decided to make oatmeal as another part of the important meal for the day.

I went towards the pantry and open the pantry door. Once I open it, I then take out three packs of good-ass old-fashioned rolled oats as well as a can of salt before I closed the pantry door and then placed them onto the kitchen counter. I then take out not one, not two, but three mixing bowls out of the cabinet and placed them separately besides the three rolled oats packs and the salt can onto the kitchen counter. Then I open the kitchen draw and take out teaspoons as well as the wooden spoon before I close the draw. I then placed the teaspoons and the wooden spoon onto the kitchen counter. I then headed towards the refrigerator and place my hand over the handler and pull it, opening the fridge in the process. There, I take out the milk. With my other hand. After that, I close the refrigerator and let go my hand off of the refrigerator handler. I then put the milk onto the kitchen counter. I then take a measuring cup out of the cabinet and placed it on the counter.

After all that, I'm half-way done from finishing the breakfast cooking.