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Chapter 44 - What Is Love?

Benjamin – Beta Zone #76 Level 21 – 50

The first thing my minds register is a voice that seems like it was talking from extremely far away. Many me’s try to make sense of it but it feels so far removed from wherever I am that I designate it someone else’s problem.

Time passes as I drift in the calm of nothingness then I feel like someone thinks its ok to poke me with something pointy into me and all of me are instantly dragged back to the present where I’m apparently surrounded by a group of armed people.

The woman who thinks I’m a pincushion begins to speak in a heavily accented Russian accent.

“What the fu-“

Not wanting to fall prey to whatever the fuck they are planning, a mind gets into standing position with more speed than any me knew I had and another mind grab the pokers spear, snapping it like a twig, whilst the first mind holds her aloft, at arm’s length by her throat.

Letting the remains of her spear clatter to the ground, all of me are pleasantly surprised to find that what I have in my hand appears to be a blonde Russian supermodel clad in utilitarian leather. While one of my minds notes the tense atmosphere and alarm on the faces around me, my other mind chimes in that I should get a hold on my libido and try and stick to rule 5 of giving people a chance and also figure a way to make everyone stop smelling so...much...

As if on cue the short female who looks like a larping mage attempts to enter negotiations.

“PUT HER DOWN RIGHT NOW HIJO DE PUTA!”

Backing up her colorful language, a ball of something fiery and orange starts to coalesce in her non staffed hand. Next a formidable older lady chimes in, in a gravely Russian accent equally laced with threat.

“I would follow little sinorita’s advice if I was you big man…”

One of my minds notes them all getting into combat stances and all of me figure it’s time to try and live by the new code, rather than remain a murder hobo with a green arrow for his only friend...if only they all didn’t smell so strongly...

Thus I direct my attention to the poker lady.

“So are you going to explain why you were trying to poke me with your stick while I was sleeping? I know people used to pay good money for something like that, but that’s not really my thing…..now answer….or do I have to kill everyone again?”

The supermodel gives up her hopeless attempt to free herself and motions frantically with one of her hands to the others whilst chocking out a reply.

“I….meant…no….harm….you…appeared…..checking….if….alive….not…sure….if…..monster….”

I tilt my head as the newly formed triumvirate have a quick back and forth on the potential validity of her words and can’t find any technical fault with her take on trying to stab my while I slept. Adding to the fact that her investigations didn’t drop my red health bar in the slightest, I decide its ok to step down from defcon two, to defcon three…if only for the moment.

Releasing the leggy Russian into a heap on the ground, she gulps down air while massaging her throat with a hand, and I’m slightly alarmed to discover that when a me rested her spear from her grasp it seems to have bent her other hand’s digits in completely unnatural ways.

The colorfully spoken latina pipsqueak that smells distinctly of...fear?...disperses the ball of flame from her hand and rushes to the gasping beauty to make sure she’s alright.

In the mean time a mind tries to stop smelling everything as it takes a moment to make sure I’m in the same place I was yanked from with my inept ambushers.

Discovering that yes indeed I am in the same place and no I cannot turn off my enhanced smellovision, one of my minds reports that they don’t look like they are going to attack me and the other wants to know when lunch is. However all of me can agree that now’s a good a time as any to get the fuck out of here. Mainly on account of how nobody is actively trying to kill or rob me.

This in turn leads a me to address the most senior member of the group which turns out to be the one a mind has affectionately dubbed ‘Grandma Russia’.

“So I think we may have gotten off to a bad start here….how about this? I’m just gonna be on my way and we’ll chalk this up as one big misunderstanding yea?”

She seems slightly shocked and confused at this before she tentatively rejoins.

“How about this…how about you try and explain first how you came to be here…with no clothes…or hair for that matter…?”

Well fuck me, some people actually want to talk rather than stab me! One of my mind inspects and confirms that she also correctly identified my state of undress and that I’m bald as a babies bum. Laughing nervously at being drastically underdressed for the fantasy roleplaying party that I wasn’t invited to, I reply.

“Haha..I guess that’s fair…I was sucked into the Dungeon and then got attacked by some people then got my clothes burnt off again….also apparently lost all my hair…again… then well…you found me…I spose?”

Opening [Lesser Dimensional Pocket]’s termini, a mind wills my [Crude Salamander Coat] to exit whilst another puts my arms up, letting the item fall onto me and restore some much needed dignity.

Clearly awed by my amazeball’s magic and debonair fashion sense, the Grandma Russia tries to hide her wonderment whilst she clears her throat in an effort to regain her initiative, before countering.

“Ehem…..I feel you have skipped much….What is this this ‘Dungeon’? Where did your coat come from and how do we know you are not making these things up hmm big man? For example what happened to these people you spoke of? Also where did the shiny puddle thing go?...so many loose strings…”

As one of my minds keeps danger watch, another internal debate ensued between the other two, while the one on watch absentmindedly elects to scratch my now spotless noggin.

Do I just ignore them and skedaddle?

Well that would be kinda rude, as they seem to want to just talk for now.

Are they trustworthy?

So far no one’s tried to kill me so I’ll take that as a maybe.

How much information to share?

It’s been month’s and if I don’t start extending the proverbial olive branch, I’ll probably remain a forever alone murderhobo.

Would they take offense if I told them they all need a good wash?

Is the tall blond one single?

Who am I kidding she probably isnt interested in me.

Should I settle for the short angry Spanish woman?

Unlikely given the scathing looks she keeps sending me…

...But women are strange so maybe I have a shot...

Would they like salamander steaks or bear steaks?

Maybe I could woo her with pasta?

That’s definitely my in, women love food!

Well at least Alison and Kelly did.

At least before they discovered I was brok-

Not now Benjamin!

First. build positive relations whilst hiding power level!

Second. circle back round for the wooening...Later!

Decision reached and possible friends and tangential lovers on the horizon a mind offers.

“Oh ‘Dungeon’ is just an RPG term for a closed instance that only allows small groups of people in at a time and also contains monsters and rewards and shit like that. As for the coat and things well that’s a trade secret I’m afraid. The people though? Well they tried to ambush and rob me so…I killed them.”

The temperature seemed to drop as I admitted I’m a murderer to someone else for the first time.

Now they all stink of...fear...And the older of the Russian’s face hardens as she demands.

“You say these things but still you show no proof. For all we know you are just a monster pretending to be human.”

Regretting my honesty but having come this far and despite all reason wanting to be believed, I collectively quash my rising unease and figure if I’m on the thunderbox I might as well drop a bloody deuce.

Being that actions speak louder than words, a mind casts the [Lesser Dimensional Pocket]’s termini again, and wills the corpses for the four ambushers to exit, which they do with sickening squelching sounds on the ground near the still recovering super model and the Latino pipsqueak.

In reply to the challenge of the older lady, a me states.

“See proof.”

However after one of me takes a moment to gauge the effect of my magical body apparition trick, all of me come to realize that we have just made a terrible blunder. Owing in no small part to the others in the immediate vicinity being intensely fixated on the pile of corpses poorly pretending to be a stack of misshapen undercooked and off colour pancakes.

Successfully quashing the urge to gag at the all too pungent smell of human roadkill and trying to get some positive out of my monumental misread of the situation, one of me elects to get the fuck out of dodge and give them time to hopefully review my words and actions and find them sincere and genuine.

Wishfully putting it down to a distinct lack of pirates in their party, one of me proffers.

“Well it’s been fun and all but I’m gonna hunt for a bit and wait for my hair to grow back, guess I’ll be seeing you.”

The short Asian guy seemed to not be paying as much attention to my words and at first I thought he was coming toward me, but then one of me notes he’s shakily making his way to the pile.

My stomach starts to feel like someone just installed a drain in it and my sinking feeling intensifies.

Before any of me can ask the vaguely familiar guy what’s up however, the apparently Scottish dude brandishing an intimidating looking mace, demands.

“I don’t know what yer game is boyo, but ye aint leaving this crevasse till ye’ve answered thungs ta our satisfaction!”

Genuinely intrigued as to what course of action the burly man could take to actually beat me, one of me asks whilst failing to keep amusement from creeping in.

“And who exactly is going to stop me spicy McHaggis? You?”

His face does a surprisingly good impression of a red capsicum with a mouth as he snaps back.

“I don’t know who taught ye numbers champ, but we have ye outnumbered 8 ta fookin 1! And now ye pissed me off I’ll be takin yer Manamotes as well…. an thus time there’ll be nae sneaky catching us by surprise!”

While weirdly familiar Asian guy is kneeling next to the pancake’ala’bodies, the rest of them are all getting into combat stances again as they retrieve and ready their weapons. However the others aside from scotty, don’t look or...smell...Like they are particularly keen on the idea of bloodshed.

Grandma Russia looks like she is actually trying to defend the weaker members of their oversized Party from any potential damage from the burgeoning conflict. Especially on account of how she steps in front of two decidedly weak looking dudes, one sporting a bow and the other some sharp daggers.

Impressed by her tactical awareness one of me watches while fear and annoyance do a performance on her weathered face as she discovers that the Asian kid still hasn’t noticed what the fuck is up.

Still believing one of me can salvage this blooming shit show, it elects to behave like Bruce taught me.

‘Weakness, or at least the perception of it, turns you into a welcome mat for dickheads.’

And with that little chestnut of wisdom reaffirmed, one of my minds is taken away from the all too smelly now.

Back when Bruce had just adopted me from my previous foster family and I had gotten my first job as a dish pig at the local RSL to earn some extra change. Despite the constant threats taunts and directives from the unseen things in my life, were starting to look up.

However it was as I was on my way back to my new home when my ex foster brother Jack decided to checkup on my welfare.

This was just as he discovered the wonders of meth and had yet to graduate to heroin and do the world a favor by overdosing from it.

And like the old saying goes ‘birds of a feather’…So unfortunately for me, he was considerate enough to bring his junky friends as well. So not being the sharpest or luckiest tool in the shed of life, when the six of them surround me, I refused to give in this time.

Instead I endeavored to put into practice Bruce version of boxing he had been teaching me.

When I came too in the hospital and Bruce’s concerned face swam into my blurry vision, and I couldn’t help but smile.

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

Face like a thunderhead, he asked why the fuck were several of my limbs broke and what the hell I was smiling like a bleeding fool for?

Despite some missing teeth from my broken jaw and the fractured eye socket, which naturally led to the waves of pain that smiling and speaking brought. I joyously relayed that I’d managed to sock Jack right in the nose before kneeing him square in the nuts.

Bruce just coughed at the reproachful look the on duty nurse gave him when she heard yet only called me a wondrous bloody buffon as pun-

Acknowledging the trip down memory lane but trying not to let my other minds engage with it, a me summarizes my thoughts on the present predicament to those gathered in the here and now.

“So let’s just review shall we? You stabbed me in the back. I didn’t even attack you in response, then I politely answered your questions, within reason and even provided you evidence! Now your trying to imprison and rob me?

I would strongly advise you to reconsider…”

With this the Asian kid seems to come to his senses as he starts taking in the situation, yet it only seems to alarm the rest and annoy scotty even further as he dictates.

“I’ve had enough of yer creepy shite grey boyo! I’m gunnae pound ye so hard ye’ll wish ye were a fooken SCHNITZEL!”

The world slows to a crawl as the man gradually raises his mace and all of me wonder why his movements are so sluggish, before he roars out the last word and languidly takes to the air.

“NNNOOOOO!”“NNNOOOOO!”

As the two Russians cry out in slow-mo unison at the Scotsman and his folly, one of me recognizes that diplomatic relations have broken down and its time to display some dominance.

Another of my minds chimes in that I should throw in some banter and pose for effect and although I cringe a bit internally, the triumvirate is in agreement.

Raising my hand at the sluggishly traveling man, whilst mimicking a gun, one of me casts a half strength [Lesser Repulse] adding one of my spirit animal’s catchphrases for good measure.

“Phrasing.”

As all of me dispassionately watch the hot head and his mace get rapidly returned to sender a me wonders If it might have gone a bit overboard, by way of the popping and ripping sounds exiting the flying Scotsman’s personage.

Another of my minds rejoins that while my social skills are abysmal, an attempt on my life is an attempt on my life, and all three of me start to feel slightly less conflicted right up until the point where he impacts the gully’s wall.

Violently, his form squelches into the rock as his bones break whilst his mace impacts the wall at his side, leaving nothing but a handle to hint at its continued existence:

You have slain Apprentice Man At Arms level 23, no experience awarded due to level disparity.

In morbid fascination a me watches as the Scottish dude’s body apparently got tired of playing wall pate, opting instead to revoltingly slink down the rocky surface to the floor. It was doing a stellar impression of skin colored wax, though only if you decided to discount the protrusions where the bones poked through and the leaking fluids that funnily enough were not all red like all of me would have expected, happened to come out.

When it had finished doing its puddle routine and while the gully is still. I triplicately feel reasonably certain I’ve just made my ‘do not fuck with me’ position clear and elect to go toward the only way out and try not to display the revulsion at having to kill again, lest they see it as a weakness to exploit.

Unfortunately it seemed that the Asian guy had been asleep for the important bits of the class, as he looked at me with a burning anger in his eyes and bellowed in an Australian accent of all things.

“YOU FUCKING MONSTER!”

As he starts to charge at me with similar speed to that of his recently tenderized Scottish chum. One of me points out his approach differs slightly as he’s staying parallel with the ground whilst charging with his battered yet ornate shield facing directly at me.

Just a fraction of a second later, to my side, a me notes Grandma Russia also angling her shield toward me and following suit. Having lost what little will I had to commit more murders, I cast an 800% increase [Lesser Field of Gravity Manipulation] and my grandiosity that was once an intermittent hallmark of my mother’s gift resurfaces, as a me adds.

“Kneel.”

And like I’m in an anime where a character says something truly obtuse, the people surrounding me face plant to the ground.

The two notable exceptions however are the shield bearing chargers, on account of how they skid headfirst towards me with rapidly diminishing acceleration, before coming to a halt within a few feet of me.

A me looks about at the prostrated individuals who thought to harm me and the mind realizes that I have yet to meet a single human that can harm me… Well only if I discount that saucy Japanese woman who obviously had training from a hamster.

Pushing aside irrelevant thoughts and welcoming my now present second mind as it remerges from the past. The susurrations of breaking bones, screams along with lesser acknowledgements of pain vie for my attention as all of me contemplate what to do next.

Its at this juncture that my most recent and unfortunate assailant grunts out hatefully.

“F…U...CK…..YOU!”

I look down at him and realizations dawns when a mind finally places the guys face and elects to at least try to give him some hope in this new bizzaro world.

“I remember you! Man you survived this far huh? Look I’m sorry about your lady friend but well as I said, she attacked first…I…I’m kinda getting tired of having to kill people ya know? I mean I know it’s the apocalypse and all but why does everyone have to be such a dick?....anyway here’s what I’ll do. Seeing as you’re a fellow Aussie, if your alive the next time I see you I’ll give you a free shot. Can’t be more fair then that right? So how about it?”

Obviously still not understanding the gravity of the situation he’s in he replies.

“F…U…CK….Y…O…U!

A me sighs before turning to the pained grunts of Grandma Russia to spread a bit more hope around as it offers apologetically.

“I understand where you’re coming from man I really do…..as for yourself older Russian lady? Bonus points for trying to talk it out before your team mate got mad squashed, so I guess that means you earned a free shot as well? Anyway take some time to shake it off and really think it over ok?”

Offers made, I figured it was time to disappear before the gravity field ran out and I had to subjugate, injure, or worse, murder more people before this pasta free day is through.

After I’m out of line of sight from the people who are now my adversaries, I put some distance between me and them by casting [Lesser Dimensional Portal] and swiftly stepping through:

You have entered Gamma Zone #23 Level 51 – 79.

Greeted by the familiar black, hot and odorously Spartan landscape of the Gamma Zone, a me promptly cancels [Lesser Dimensional Portal] whilst another me surveys my surrounds for threats. Meanwhile a third me pulls up my ‘status’ screen to try and understand why the entirety of my body has been feeling like an electrically turbo charged coiled spring:

STATUS

Name: Benjamin

Age: 30

Titles: Forerunner IX, Dimensional Forerunner, Lone Adventurer, Survivor

Class 1: Initiate Gravity Mage Level: 74 (92) +1 Intelligence per level +1 Wisdom per level

Class 2: Initiate Dimensional Mage Level: 65 (85) +1 Intelligence per level +1 Wisdom per level

Profession: Basic Gathering

HP:2977/2977 MP:2846/2846

Status Effects: Abyss Scarred (All non-core attribute effects negated)

Vitality: 1035 x 1.20 (1242)

Strength: 858 x 1.15 (987) Dexterity: 780 x 1.15 (897)

Intelligence: 1007 x 1.15 (1158) Wisdom: 923 x 1.15 (1061)

Charisma: 95 x 1.20 (114) Luck: 93 x 1.20 (112)

Undistributed Attribute points: 90

Passives –

Human: + 5 attribute points per level

Lingua System: Able to communicate verbally with any system integrated entity and be understood

Parasitic Mutator: Ability to absorb a prevalent trait of a recently killed entity by the host. Must be within 1 meter of target, maximum 3 traits at any one time. Current traits:

1) Lesser Primordial Blood: Increase all core attributes by 15%

2) Heart of a Lesser Dragon: 250% increase in health and mana regeneration rate.

3) Lesser Insectile Musculature: Your muscles have increased strength of 150% at the cost of increased metabolic energy.

Loner: +15% all damage dealt when fighting alone, -10% all damage taken when fighting alone, -10% all damage dealt when fighting beside others, +15% all damage taken when fighting in a group.

Forerunner IX: + 9 to all core attributes per level

Dimensional Forerunner: +1 to non-core attributes per level

Lone Adventurer: Non-core attributes increased by 20%

Survivor: Vitality increased by 5%

Improved Instant Renewal: Regenerate 25% of maximum life when below 5% of life once every twelve hours.

Perpetual Regeneration: Regenerate 1% of maximum life per second on top of existing life regeneration rate.

Improved Metabolic Overdrive: Double all physical damage and physical size for 1 minute after which you will suffer a 25% strength penalty for 5 minutes, useable once every twelve hours.

Solid Foundation: Physical resistance and bone density are directly increased by the strength attribute.

Improved Quick As A Flash: Move at double your maximum speed for 1 minute after which you will suffer 25% dexterity penalty for 5 minutes, usable once every twelve hours.

Off The Clock: Dodge a lethal attack if the attacker has less than 750 Dexterity, passively available once per day.

Thrice Minded: You possess three independent cognitive centers.

Predictive Pondering: Able to predict what an opponent within 20 Meters will do for 5 seconds, if the opponent has less than 750 Intelligence. Useable once per day.

Mind Vault: Once a memory has entered your mind, it may only leave it should you allow it to do so

Mana Fount: Increases your own mana regeneration by 75% and those within 20 meters of you by 25%

Gravidic Sense: Sense gravity around you within a 20 meter radius

Dimensional Sense: Sense the dimensional fabric around you within a 20 meter radius

Skills – Initiate Gravity Mage

1) Decrease Gravity (LvL 10): Decrease a single targets gravity by up to 1000% for a duration of 100 seconds. Target must be within 25 meters for the skill to take effect (Range, duration and gravity multiplier scales with skill level). Cost: Variable, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 45 seconds

2) Increase Gravity (LvL 10): Increase a single targets gravity by up to 1000% for a duration of 100 seconds. Target must be within 25 meters for the skill to take effect (Range, duration and gravity multiplier scales with skill level). Cost: Variable, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 45 seconds

3) Lesser Repulse (LvL 10): With you as a fixed center of gravity, repulse a single target with a force of 1500% of your current mass weighted against 75% of the targets current mass. Target must be within 40 meters for the skill to take effect (Range, mass multiplier and cooldown scales with skill level). Cost: 40 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 1 seconds

4) Lesser Attract (LvL 10): With you as a fixed center of gravity, attract a single target with a force of 1500% of your current mass weighted against 75% of the targets current mass. Target must be within 40 meters for the skill to take effect (Range, mass multiplier and cooldown scales with skill level). Cost: 40 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 1 seconds

5) Lesser Field of Gravity Manipulation (LvL 10): Manipulate gravity within a radius of 20 meters around you with an increase or decrease of up to 1250%, for a duration of 1 minute. You being the locus of the field are excluded from its effects (Range, gravity multiplier and mana cost scales with skill level). Cost: 100 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 2 minutes

6) Lesser Gravidic Focal Point (LvL 10): Create a lesser gravidic focal point within 50 meters of yourself for a duration of 1 minute with an alterable gravidic value increase or decrease of 1000% and a radius of effect of 20 meters. Given that you are the point’s creator you will be immune to its effects (Range, gravity multiplier and mana cost scales with skill level). Cost: 100 Mana , Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 10 minutes

Skills – Initiate Dimensional Mage

1) Lesser Dimensional Pocket (LvL 10): You have the ability to create and maintain a minor dimensional pocket adjacent to your current dimension, the proportions of which are linked to your wisdom attribute’s total value. The aperture radius to the pocket is 10 meters and you may only access this pocket 2 times in a 30 minute period for a duration of 2 minutes (Aperture radius, frequency of access and mana cost scale with skill level).Cost: 2 Mana per second, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 30 minutes

2) Lesser Dimensional Instability (LvL 1): Create a minor dimensional instability within 15 meters of you that has a radius of 1.5 meter, the targeted area experiences the very fabric of your dimension shift in unpredictable ways for 15 seconds (Range, radius and duration scale with skill level). Cost: 20 Mana per second, Cast time: Channeled, Cooldown: 5 minutes

3) Lesser Dimensional Size Increase (Lvl 10): Increase the total size of an inanimate object that is within 100 meters of you by up to 250% for a duration of 2 minutes (Range, percentage increase and cooldown scale with skill level). Cost: 50 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 30 seconds

4) Lesser Dimensional Size Decrease (Lvl 10): Decrease the total size of an inanimate object that is within 100 meters of you by up to 250% for a duration of 2 minutes (Range, percentage Decrease and cooldown scale with skill level). Cost: 50 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 30 seconds

5) Lesser Dimensional Portal (LvL 10): Create a lesser dimensional tunnel which origin is within 2 meters of you, that connects with two known points. The tunnel bypasses physical space and has a 5 meter radius for its termini for a duration of up to 5 minutes. The distance between to termini is dictated by your Wisdom attribute 1061 AU’s (Termini radius, duration and cooldown scale with skill level). Cost: 300 Mana, Cast time: 5 seconds, Cooldown: 30 seconds

6) Lesser Dimensional Absence (LvL 10): Create a lesser dimensional absence within 50 meters of you that has a radius of 50 centimeters, which nullifies all matter within the target location for a duration 50 seconds (Range, radius and duration scale with skill level). Cost: 250 Mana, Cast time: 1 second, Cooldown: 1 minute

Whilst one of my minds tells me that I have some silicon based acquaintances who have tried to sneakily shamble up, and still don’t know they are rubble yet. Another mind gets into an in-animated debate with my third mind, why my Abyss Scarred debuf is still sticking around, about distributing points to dexterity to even things out and how to best utilize my new abilities and all round cheesiness.

Shortly after which they’re also demanding to know in unison, why the fuck my increased luck and charisma didn’t prevent the abysmal ménage neuf from occurring?

Labeling both attributes as non core stats and designating the Abyss Scarred is almost certainly the culprit for my literal lack of luck and charisma. Some of me instead focus on questions of distributions of other less screwed attributes.

Far from unanimously engaged however, I let the other me on danger watch relieve a fraction of my internal tumult, with some cathartic and morally abstract monster extermination while also trying to figure out how to stop smelling...everything...