Keisha – Outpost #25
It had been eleven months since the world had gone to shit with a side of weird.
Not that the world warping event had been much of a hiccup in Keisha’s life plan.
If anything, it had been a massive improvement.
Owing in no small part to the fact that for her and many like her, the world had already been in the crapper for a while now.
The blue and white light forcefully transitioned the world of man made conflict, inequity, debt and lies, to the magically enhanced monster filled one?
Well that was a damn opportunity in her books.
Rationally, Keisha knew that in the world before E-Day, there was already rampant unrest and upheaval present in most second and third world countries. However having grown up in a ‘first world country’ that managed to shelter her from such ‘injustices’, only to subject her to having to turn tricks and sell her pimp Felix’s smack, just to get by.
So all things being equal, she felt that right now, things could be a whole hell of lot worse, because ‘at least with this damn ‘Elevation’ bullshit, everyone was on the same fuckin playin field’.
Being a black woman in the US, or as those more fortunate would call her ‘a woman of color’. Keisha had been taught many unwelcome truths for most of her life.
One such lesson was to always be on your toes around those who ran things, be it the street cop who wanted to shake you down for your measly take, or the city councilor who didn’t want his whiter than white bread wife to know that he actually preferred chocolate skin on his rides.
So as the newly installed guard at the entrance of Outpost #25 that was now her home, wrinkled his nose whilst demanding again.
“New entrance fee Quester…6 manamotes for entry…”
She waved aside the complaints of her haggard and impatient Party and paid the freeloader in a bid to get back inside and wash the unique stank of Large Bristle Spider ichor off her [Elevant Aspirant’s Sturdy Chain Mail Armor] and [Elevant’s Essential Gear].
Her groups collective bitching at the new fee from the good for nothing ‘Mayor’ was no doubt behind, only slightly easing the sting at the loss of the hard earned currency. And while they continued to cuss out the guard and his relatives, she silently figured the fee was probably because their outposts ruler wanted to kit out his woefully under geared cronies that were on the gate.
This been a changed world and all, Keisha would have taken up Gil’s most recent suggestion of ‘sticking a blade where the sin don’t shine’ on the half guard half tax man...That is if she didn’t already know that she would’ve instantly been teleported outside of dodge.
But the thieving shit birds time would come, and hopefully her and her Party would be clear of this mooching cesspit when it did.
Somewhat regrettably, hers was only handful of groups that still operated out of Outpost #25, on account of how the rest of the populace was too bone idle to get off their assess and fend for themselves.
In the beginning, Keisha had taken pity on the perennial moochers they now passed, who would always beg those brave or dumb enough to go out and earn their keep, for their currency to afford hab unit rent.
She thought that if she bought them a little bit of time with a couple of motes here and there, they too would eventually see that the only way to improve your situation, was to go out beyond the safety of the Outposts walls and take it strike by blood soaked strike from the damn ugly ass monsters.
But as with many things in her life, Keisha had been wrong in her assumptions.
The incorrect nature of her humanitarian outlook came home to roost just a few months back, in the form of one of her old john’s.
The guy was just one of her many customers on the corner where she used to earn rent, and the only reason she remembered him specifically because he was an asshole.
However he wasn’t just your average asshole who would give her a little bit of a love tap. The guy got off on the repetitious inflicting of pain, but what was worse was that he was smart about it. He would use electrodes and needles and shit.
So the second time the sicko did what he did after tricking her with honeyed promises to lure her into his beat up sedan, Keisha went running to Felix to get his deranged ass whooped. But being that there wasn’t a mark left on her to back up her tearful claims, things most definitely didn’t work out as she’d hoped.
After Felix finished beating her with a sock stuffed with a soap bar for ‘Been a lyin ass ho!’, she took the lesson to heart by way of always making her self scarce when the sicko’s trademark sedan went cruising by.
And as the psycho recognized Keisha whilst he begged for just one manamote so he could afford the rent, she too had shared in his recognition and promptly laughed in the chicken shit perverts face. Savoring the vindictive delight at his impotent rage with how the tables been so fundamentally turned.
In retaliation the degenerate told her that ‘the lord will strike down those of impure thought and flesh!’, in turn Keisha decided it was time for some slightly more malicious initiative on her part.
She’d laughed with renewed gusto at the cowardly deluded cracker and told him that she would personally make it her new life’s mission to make sure he never got another hand out from any of the questers in the Outpost. Period.
So when the sicko tried to spit on her as recompense for the outlaying her neighborly prophetic planning, he instantly got teleported out into the monster infested wilds for his failed act of shaming.
Naturally, Keisha took it as a sign that she no longer need lift a finger for the rest of the bone idle good for nothings.
Thus as the reedy, balding old man begged whilst making praying gestures at her and the Party, they collectively ignored his wretched ass as they continued to walk on, indifferent as they headed toward their pristine white abodes.
The slackers in here could rot for all she cared and when they moved to a new, more proactive Outpost like #22 or #29. Likely after they completed two more groupings of quests to finish rounding out their gear and supplies enough to make the long trek in comfort. Keisha was silently looking forward to the fact that she wouldn’t have to look at the pathetic wastes of space any longer.
Though as she went over the large Bristled Spider ambush their Party had to push through to make it back in this time, she feared that they might have to move up the schedule of their planned relocation. And she preemptively began to construct her arguments so the greedy bastard Gil, wouldn’t instantly shoot the idea down.
When they first noticed the monsters getting stronger in the Alpha Zone outside, they had put it down to an evolution of sorts, though with all her group being in the low 40’s, it made little to no difference if a monster was level 1 or 20.
However every time they passed through the zone, they found the alarming multiplication of the annoying sons of bitches as they tried to mob her Party at every chance they damn well got.
Over the last month they had become certain that the now multitudinously brazen fuckers, wouldn’t be content with waiting to get culled on their way through for much longer.
Pushing down the still palpable fear of being mobbed by haired monsters, despite her recent superhuman transformation. Keisha tried to play it cool as she said a round of goodbyes to Jim, Kelly, Gil, Travon and Sung-lee before trudging toward her HU to get cleaned up.
It was almost when she’d reached the blank welcoming wall of her HU that she heard the cries of alarm.
She was about to dismiss it as another Party coming back and kicking up a stink about the new gate fee, when two blue boxes she’d never seen before flashed into her field of vision:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 99%
Quest: Defend Outpost #25 from attackers
Duration: 29 minutes 59 seconds
Rewards: Varies based on contribution.
Instinctively spinning on her heels, Keisha un-slung her [Shield of the Stout Hobgoblin] from her back whilst gripping her [Barbed Mace of Impedance] free of its belt hitch, in a smooth practiced motion. Meanwhile her eyes darted around the rows of white cubes and roamed over the other startled residents, for the slightest sign of the enemy.
Finding the other few people sharing looks of alarm or yelling out in demand of answers, she relaxed slightly and headed for where the greatest commotion could be heard.
The gate.
Fatigue was washed away by the burst of adrenaline, her light jog making short work of the distance. And in no time at all she was back at the bustling entrance, only to find the number of people inhabiting it had all but tripled.
One of the few perks of being a Quester in this shit show of low-lifes, was that the lazy fuckers had the decency to get out of your damn way when you were going places.
So as Keisha announced her status and told the good for nothings to ‘Make Some Fuckin Room!’, a smile almost ruined her perfectly good scowl as she stalked between the now parted gathering to see what all the damn fuss was about.
Just as she was about to ask the trembling guardsman what the hell was going on, the chicken shit cracker turned from the white arched entrance and ran past her without so much as an ‘excuse me mam’. Momentarily stunned, she was almost inclined to chase the weakling down and beat some damn answers out of the coward. Yet the logistics of such an impossible action were stalled when her eyes found from what exactly the good for nothing in question had fled.
In front of the Outpost’s ramp was a shimmering blue translucent wall and just on the other side was a steady stream of Large Bristle Spiders, joining an already sizable number, were biting and ramming it like it owed them money:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 98%
Willing away the notification, she began to stalk forward in irritation whilst her knuckles cracked under her formidable muscles increased pressure around her armaments grip. Well within her rights to teach these uppity low level bugs their place.
But as she neared the end of the ramp her eyes reflexively roamed in calculation of the task at hand and in just the short time she had traversed the walkway, the number of fury arachnids had almost doubled:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 97%
Once more dismissing the notification Keisha looked out past the writhing mass of fury abdomens and legs and her much improved vision supplied an even more alarming sight. Beyond the thudding attacks of the spiders, barely hidden by the near impermeable 40 ft high wall of bamboo forest, moved a large black and red shadowy form.
A cold shiver ran down her spine at the recollection of when her Party first encountered the monstrous entity know as a Bristle Hair Broodmother.
They had barely made it out alive, with most of their spoils from the fight going to [Basic Vapor Potion of Permanent Cure]’s to reverse the bitches paralytic poison. And while the monsters in front of her continued to batter and bite against Outpost #25’s barrier and she fought against the pain wracked memories with the knowledge that she was stronger, another all too insistent notification made itself known:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 96%
Keisha’s body locked up while she began to tremble, as more and more monsters advanced to surround the Outpost whilst the fear silently consumed her. She was just about to surrender completely to it when a familiarly petulant South African accent shook her free of the downward spiral.
“What the hells are you doing Quester? Go do your bloody JOB!”
Anger burning away her doubts, she rounded on Gregory, Outpost #25’s self proclaimed ‘Mayor’, and spat.
“The fuck you just say to me, you hillbilly jackass?!”
Thankfully Gil jogged around the now paling ingrate, with her other four Party members hot on his heels. Coming to an abrupt halt next to Keisha, they each gave their take on the situation at hand.
“Motherfucker…”
“For the love of…”
“The hell…”
“Somebody tell me I ain’t seein this shit?”
“Nomaah…”
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 95%
Keisha recognized the knot forming in her stomach as the one she always got when she had the mother of all decisions to make. Doing her best to block out the madness around her, being the leader of the Party that she’d become, she made what she thought was the best judgment call for those she had come to call friends.
“Fuck it, we’re outa here!”
She un-repentantly announced to those she had come to count on. To her welcome surprise the voice of descent didn’t come from any of the other five by her side as they shared conformingly vigorous nods. No. The voice of petulant entitlement did however come somewhat predictably, from Gregory.
“You are not going ANYWHERE QUESTER! YOU WILL COORDINATE WITH THE GUARD TO CLEAR THE MONSTERS IMMEDIATELY!”
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 94%
Willing the box away Keisha looked to her grinning party mates for guidance, and Gil offered conspiratorially.
“You want me to shut him up boss lady?”
Patting the Apprentice Man at Arms’ shoulder she countered.
“And rob me of the pleasure of telling the greedy bastard to screw off one last time? I’ll even give you five manamotes so I get the privilege all to myself sugar!”
The others chuckled as Gil rejoined with a grin.
“Why lady K, I accept your most generous offer.”
Releasing a theatrical sigh, she transferred the currency to the stocky Southerner before walking back to stand imposingly over the diminutive South African man, stating.
“I’ve tolerated your pompous ass for far too long ‘Mayor’... So before me and mine bounce outa here, I don’t want there to be a doubt left in your mind why this shit is happening.”
To his bulging eyes she continued.
“It’s simple. You sons of bitches just sat behind these lovely magical walls and did didley squat, while the few of us hard workin folk that were dumb enough to stick around, supported and covered for your asses!”
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 93%
Willing away the box she noted his face had contorted into a disturbing impression of a malformed chili. Snorting derisively at the impotent waste of space, Keisha turned away from the jackass to go toward her waiting Party that were trying their best not to show their nerves as the complete shit show they had agreed to wade through. When from behind her a half strangled plea found her ears.
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“Take me with you!?”
Blinking at the chaos of fur and legs that increased by the second behind the translucent blue membrane, Keisha elected to be the bigger person and finished closing the distance to her team without a word.
Clearly not content with his initial display of groveling, Gregory screamed.
“I’LL PAY YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT! NAME YOUR PRICE!?”
As her and her comrades fixed the ‘Mayor’ with incredulous stares, he almost tripped whilst running toward them to further his plea.
Stuck between opportunism and her principles, Gil helped Keisha along by adding.
“I say we take him for all he’s worth lady K.”
Looking to see what the others thought she didn’t get to take proper stock as another box interrupted her:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 92%
She didn’t have time to waste on this shit, she and hers should already be gone, but manamotes were manamotes and..
“Five thousand!”
Gregory said in as low a tone as his panic would allow, so that the scant few remaining onlookers that hadn’t fled already from the gate, couldn’t hear.
A wide eyed Keisha was just about to accept when the normally quiet Sung–lee of all people, countered in her thick Korean accent.
“Twenty thousand…”
She was about to bite the usually silent and sensible woman’s head off, when the now far more composed Gregory shot back.
“Twelve Thousand!”
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 91%
Willing away the notification Keisha began in chastisement.
“We don’t have ti-“
But Sung-Lee cut her off.
“Seventeen thousand…”
To which a now scowling again Gregory half spat.
“Fifteen thousand and not a stinking manamote more!”
Unable to help herself, Keisha looked imploringly to the diminutive Apprentice Archer who blessedly huffed out a resigned.
“Deal.”
Tension draining from his face, despite their still clearly dire predicament the ‘Mayor’ confirmed jubilantly.
“Deal! Now just let me grab so-“
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 90%
Doing her best to ignore the newest notification Keisha growled out in frustration.
“You’ve stalled us long enough you greedy son of a bitch! Now pay up!”
To which he countered.
“What and let you just leave me here!?”
Then Sung-lee interjected.
“Half now, half when your safe.”
Grumbling something about ‘daylight robbery’, he rejoined.
“five thousand now and ten thousand when we get there…”
Before Sung-lee rebuked.
“Seven thousand now eight when we get you there…”
He looked like he was about to protest but a fresh notification cut him off:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 89%
Removing the obstruction from her vision Keisha added in menace.
“Fucking pay what the lady asked or I start telling those people behind you what you’re trying to do with their stolen currency, shit head!”
Sending a furtively guilty glance behind him, Gregory gulped before refocusing on the Party and sullenly extended a hand to the grinning Korean woman, who sent her a confirming nod in turn:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 88%
Willing away the far too early blue box Keisha bellowed.
“EVERYONE LOCKED AND LOADED?”
Receiving a chorus of grim affirmatives from the other 5 and an odd throaty sound that she took as Gregory’s ascent, she instructed.
“WE’LL PUNCH THROUGH TO THE LEFT AND MAKE FOR THE NORTH EASTERN ROAD, AND DON’T YOU DARE STOP FUCKING MOVING UNTIL WE NO LONGER SEE THIS GOD AWFUL BAMBOO, CLEAR!?!”
Another chorus went up from those gathered, and she noticed a handful of poorly equipped, who were clearly underleveled frightened had begun to fill the ramp behind them. Pointedly ignoring the silent hope on their faces, she furthered.
“IF ANYONE GETS STUCK IN WEBBING, IT’S A DEFENSIVE RING TILL THEY’RE FREE…BUT ONLY FOR OUR PARTY, UNDERSTOOD!?”
Keisha pretended not to hear the cries of protest from those gathered up the ramp as her Party confirmed whilst readying their weapons and skills. Quashing her traitorous guilt as she dropped her helms visor before bracing her arm against her [Shield of the Stout Hobgoblin], she bellowed.
“ON ME!”
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 87%
Cancelling the poorly timed notification, she roared defiantly whilst activating [Reckless Charge] at a Large Bristle Spider that had just over extended itself from its ramming of the Outpost’s barrier.
The world rushed past to bring Keisha up close and personal with the oversize arachnids left set of hairy legs. Managing to completely crumple its abdomen with the well timed swing of her mace, the inertia of her change cannoned the maimed beast, knocking its brethren violently aside during its passage to clear a momentary path to non spider-dom, amongst the monstrous furry throng:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 11, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Her allies sent arrow and spell to either side of her as she surged forward whilst casually swatting at the abundance of unfairly proportioned spider appendages on display. Gil and Travon followed at her flank using their axe and spear to devastating effect on the underleveled pests who could only spout green ichor in response:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 14, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 12, no experience gained due to level disparity.
….
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 10, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…..
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 11, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Ignoring the string of new notifications her eyes flicked in inventory to Kelly and Gregory, who wisely stuck with the ranged attackers in the rear. The blonde Apprentice Cleric advancing with practiced ease while herding the clearly out of his depth ex mayor and keeping an eye on things should a Party member need immediate healing:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 86%
The rag tag bunch of hangers on behind, spurred on by the latest confirmation of their homes imminent demise, capitalized on the now few meter wide swath her Party had cut through the spidery morass as they followed in their ichor drenched wake.
Onward Keisha pushed, blow after blow bringing her and her own closer to spider-less salvation:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 13, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 14, no experience gained due to level disparity.
….
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 9, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…..
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 12, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Then she was clear and almost stumbled from the lack of resistance, if not for her well honed, super charged muscles.
Grudgingly she made a concession to the now roiling guilt at abandoning those still within Outpost #25, spinning to face their half free procession and commanded.
“GIL, TRAVON, WE’RE REARGUARD FOR THE TAG ALONGS TILL THEIR CLEAR!”
The Apprentice Spearman Travon, still barely out of his teens, began in a strained half whine.
“You said we would le-“
But she cut him off as she bellowed whilst she readied her shield once more.
“DO AS I SAY BOY, OR YOU’LL NEVER SEE MY DAMN PANTIES AGAIN!”
She didn’t bother to wait for his reply as she activated [Reckless Charge] at a mid air arachnid, Taking her away from the love sick youth and his plight:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 13, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 10, no experience gained due to level disparity.
….
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 15, no experience gained due to level disparity.
To her amazement, only two of the stragglers had died before she finished saving their collective asses. Beating a hastened retreat as more of the swarming spiders began to focus their group, peeling off to scurry toward them from the jumbled throng at the barrier:
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 85%
Willing away the box Keisha bellowed at the already flagging, ichor stained and bleeding survivors.
“MOVE YOUR ASSESS TOWARD THE NORTH EASTERN PASSAGE YOU INSUFFERABLE INGRATES, OR I’LL USE MY MACE TO DO IT FOR YOU!”
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 11, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 8, no experience gained due to level disparity.
….
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 14, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Grinning savagely at the kill notifications that scrolled past in tandem with her and her Party’s remonstrations, Keisha almost tripped over a stock still tagalong.
About to give them an earful, the half formed words caught in her throat, when her gaze flicked to the dirt roads mouth that was perennially hewn through the throng of bamboo forest.
Waiting as if to greet them, was the black and red streaked Broodmother. It’s almost comical size nearly twice that of the one that had near killed her and her fledgling Party, so many months ago. Gritting her teeth at the lumbering twenty foot monstrosities approach, she absently swatted away the encroachment of another of its lesser’s:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 9, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Then Keisha came back to herself, willing away the notification before she bellowed.
“GIL, REAR GUARD, TRAVON YOU STICK WITH GREGORY AND KELLY! RANGE, WAIT FOR MY SIGNAL BEFORE YOU LIGHT UP BIG MOMA!...THE REST OF YOU…LOOK LIKE YOUR USEFUL FOR ONCE IN YOUR SHIT EATING LIVES WHILST YOU’RE TRYING NOT TO KICK THE DAMN BUCKET!”
Barreling past the stock still survivors and her Party’s slowly mobilizing vanguard, she activated [Reckless Charge] at one of the behemoths legs and angled her shield accordingly. The wind whistled past her half exposed face as she shot toward the bristled appendage, heedless of the once conventional laws of the universe.
Thudding into the limb, the beast teetered unsteadily, despite their size disparity, whilst it fought to stay upright. Easily reorienting herself on another nearby leg, Keisha’s enhanced muscles propelled her toward it at inhuman speed as she swung her maces barbed head at its joint.
The reward for her application of force came in the form of an ichor spewing severed stump, its dump truck sized owner *Hiss*ing as it retreated halfway up the towering bamboo wall of the path:
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 15, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 84%
….
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 12, no experience gained due to level disparity.
…..
Your Party has slain Large Bristle Spider Level 7, no experience gained due to level disparity.
Dismissing the notifications with a thought, she grinned viciously at the things multitude of black orb’ed and unblinking eyes. Dashing further down the road, the sound of her Party’s stalling defense against the mob grew ever fainter in response.
Skirting the monstrosity in a practiced side shuffle, she activated [Lesser Taunt] right before lifting her mace and screaming triumphantly.
“NOW!”
Keeping her eyes locked on the lumbering approach of the wounded monster, she absently wondered why her fire support was taking so long. However her worries were put on hold as the Broodmother’s remaining legs arched high enough to almost reach the forests top as its abdomen flexed underneath it.
Eyes going wide in recognition at its coming attack, Keisha rolled to the side just in time as a high velocity basketball of webbing shot through where she had just been.
Reflexively righting into a defensive crouch and re-angling her shield, she was about to yell for more aid when a notification forestalled it:
Travon has left your Party.
Anger building at the lust prone youths cowardice, in the face of such low leveled opponents, Keisha put her starring contest on hold whilst scowling back to where her Party was, to better give the slimy little shit what for, and almost dropped her weapons at what she found:
Sung-Lee has left your Party.
Your Outpost of residence is under attack! Defensive Shield integrity: 83%
Either side of the all but arachnid engulfed remains of her Party, advanced two more Bristle Hair Broodmother’s nearly as big as the one across from her.
Watching in mute horror, the comparatively smaller spiders swarmed over the totally webbed survivors of Outpost #25 whilst her remaining friends, trapped within their defensive shield’s, valiantly fought on:
Gilford has left your Party.
Anger filled every fiber of her being as she whipped to fa-
The thudding impact of the unannounced ball of web knocked her backwards several feet as it caught the bottom edge of her shield, simultaneously unfurling around her lower half and rooting her to the ground:
James has left your Party.
Kelly has left your Party.
Her mace hand still free Keisha cocked it whilst roaring in defiance.
“FUCK YOU, YOU UGLY MOTHER FU-“
Then a pair of giant fangs descended on her from behind, belonging to a completely different and hitherto unannounced monstrosity.
Screaming in pained rage, she forced her torso to twist free of the pinning fangs to the accompanying sounds of squelching rips. Cackling through the spike of familiar pain as the effort allowed her to land a disorientating [Concussive Strike] on her new assailant.
The thing reeled back as she cast [Lesser Taunt] and screamed.
“CUMMON YOU OVERSIZED FUCKING CARPET, COME TO MO-“
But her thoughts on her attacker’s attire died with her, as the wounded Bristle Hair Broodmother exacted its brutal revenge by piecing one of its sickle like fangs through the back of Keisha’s exposed neck, severing her spine.
Keisha’s vision began to blur as her world view tilted whilst blood and poison filled her now unresponsive lungs.
Vocal chords eviscerated, in a last act of banal rebellion against the furred monster that now loomed over her, she spat a wad of bloody mucus’ed poison into where the things giant fangs parted.
As it recoiled and her vision faded to black, her ruined throat let out a series of gargling croaks, as she tried and failed, to laugh at the hand the universe had dealt her, if only for one last time.