Benjamin – Outpost #846
Welcome to Outpost #846!
Here you will find shelter, sustenance, trade, quests and the chance to form a new community.
Whilst you yourself are free from harm, within its confines, so are other inhabitants.
Should you obstruct, physically or verbally threaten, even attempt to imply harm to another resident, you will promptly be removed from the outpost.
Willing away the blue window, I realize I’ve managed to do it again!
Despite my best laid plans in moving to a nice quiet and relatively secluded place bought with my settlement money, I have made another terrible blunder.
You might point out that it is only naturally to momentarily forget deep seeded things like phobia’s when you've been thrust into a strange new world bereft of pasta, where bears are also trucks, where lizards have wings and where little green men cook children for dinner.
Yet it still doesn’t change the fact.
I.
Fucked.
Up.
So when the redhead of my dreams is nattering incessantly at me about Party’s and leveling up, we find ourselves in a throng of moving people. If this wasn’t bad enough, at the throngs periphery are visibly distraught people, weeping, screaming, staring hopefully or worse still, a weird mixture of the three.
I have to force myself to push forward and not run in the opposite direction toward blissful embrace of hermitde:
Congratulations on completing the quest ‘Sanctuary’, You have been awarded 5 Manamotes for successful completion.
All but ignoring the notification, my ears are filled with the sounds of human despair and if even half of what I hear isn’t fictitious, then it seems that I have gotten off rather lightly, in that I’ve only lost my animal companion.
Yet despite the blatant disparity, I would still trade their suffering and loss for my own in a heartbeat.
Trying to keep my shit together, I continue to make headway through the organized chaos while sticking close to my soon to be bride, when another blue box interrupts my almost instinctive breathing exercise:
Quest: A Place Too Lay Your Head
Description: Select a vacant Habitation Unit to temporarily call your own
Reward: Temporary access to a Habitation Unit for a duration of 30 light/dark cycles.
Either side of us are what I assume to be the habitation units mentioned, consisting of a white cube a few meters long each side.
While I let the verbal threats and insinuations wash over me, I begin to wonder whether it is better to leave this diverse gathering of suffering people that already seem at cross purposes, when a question from my red headed companion vies for my attention.
“H-Hey is something the matter?”
Looking at her concernedly cute features, I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m clinically insane just yet and fail to keep my rising distress from creeping into my generalized, yet honest response.
“Too many people”
Judy nods and smiles as she replies in much more relaxed fashion.
“Oh I totally get what you mean. How about w-“
Pausing midsentence, she swivels her head around when she hears someone off to the side call out in a fraught plea.
“J-judy?”
Seeming to know the person she answers in a near mirror of the male voice.
“C-Calvin?”
Egged on by her response, the Asian male yells her name once more with an unmistakably Australian inflection.
“JUDY!”
Right before he runs towards her like a romance tragic, reenacting a soppy movie scene.
I stop myself from laughing at the out of place display of affection, when she adds to its comedic effect by keeping the man at arm’s length as she replies in an apparent effort to placate him.
“Easy there tiger, I’m alright, I’m alright.”
This seems to confuse the poor guy for a moment as he looks her up and down quizzically before he admonishes.
“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you since this craziness began?”
Still obviously put out by his public display of concern, she moves their little romcom reunion to the side of the thorough fare in a gap between the hab-units. This, while relieving me of the awkward spectacle also removes any semblance of grounding I had as my agoraphobia reasserts itself with full force. In the mean time I’m called a useless cuck and I focus on just breathing as the people seem to press in claustrophobically.
‘in 234 hold 234 out 234 hold 234 in 234’
Searching for some sort of distraction, and hoping that I have not just indeed been cucked by my future waifu, I apply my new and improved hearing to the unscrupulous task of ease dropping on the apparently still squabbling pair.
“-re luck and the guy in the street over there, that I’m here now than anything else so stop acting like I planned this! I got screwed on a quest and he bailed me out big time. Secondly I think we can use him to our advantage, he’s basically clueless and he seems strong, like really strong! Also he doesn’t have a group yet so just follow my lead ok?”
Well fuck. I think I never had a prospective waifu in the first place…
Calm down Ben, they might not be in league with Karen...
It could be your illness deceiving you...
Well shit.
What do?
Only thing for it is amicable exit and hope they don’t stab me in the back in the future like those web comics…
I easily dodge between the foot traffic as I close to make my exit as the Asian Australian guy replies.
“W-wait you mean you’ve already been out to do one? What was it like? No scratch that I’m just glad you’re ok…About that guy, he kinda looks like a hobo but I think we ca-”
Glad of my decision now as I can see his body language and lip contortions match his words, I cut him off in a bid to extricate myself painlessly from these peoples Karen-esque plans.
“Hey guys, now she’s safe and sound, I’m gonna see what info I can get around here. Catch you round I guess.”
Feeling a childlike sense of freedom wash over me as I head down a more vacant side street, Judy calls out.
“Hey big guy! I never got your name!?!”
Refusing to engage verbally, I give her a dismissive wave before I turn down another black paved side street as I hear what I think is her exasperated utterance.
“Dammit all! We coulda been powerleveled if you hadn’t made a scene!”
I would laugh if I could be sure it was said, but instead I put more distance between me and them as I get called a wanker while I make my way toward a Habitation Unit two rows over, and approach it:
Habitation Unit #3186, Status: Occupied
Tip: To claim Habitation Unit for temporary access simply place your palm anywhere on its surface.
Groaning at having to house hunt, I travel along the row toward the Outposts center as I eventually find an unoccupied cube:
Habitation Unit #2192, Status: Vacant
Tip: To claim Habitation Unit for temporary access simply place your palm anywhere on its surface.
Sighing in relief, I do as the ephemeral box suggests and place my hand on its uniform white surface and a blue ripple goes out from its contact, then a subsequent box obscures my vision:
Congratulations on completing the quest “A Place Too Lay Your Head”, you have been awarded temporary access to your selected Habitation Unit for 30 days. This Habitation Unit will provide you with shelter, three meals a day and sanitary facilities for the duration of your occupancy rights. Only you may access your selected domicile unless you specify otherwise.
All other thoughts evaporate in light of the words ‘three meals a day’ as I begin to salivate while a rectangular door magically appears in the cubes side and I waltz right in, eager for the promised bounty.
The inside of the white structure is really utilitarian, though in retrospect it is hardly surprising due to the construction of the outpost as a whole. There’s a basic black bed with white pillow, a basic black desk and chair atop which is a steaming plate of a full English breakfast with a steaming cup of tea and an orange juice, and I rush towards it like a lemming to a cliff.
After I have finished putting a pig in a trough to shame, I let out a loud and crude compliment to the chef, who I hope in retrospect isn’t Karen and she hasn’t put mind-control drugs in the food.
Letting the warm feeling of satiation flood me and pushing away the paranoid line of thought, I look at the mess I made while devouring the meal and shrug it off in the hope a magic equivalent of a maid exists.
Inspecting the other side of the room I note there’s a utilitarian bathroom present as well.
Stripping off my second hand clothes, I wash the stench of death off me as I let the sensation of water running over my body ground me. I’m wrenched out of the soothing tactile experience by the hospital smell that starts to creep into my nose from the water.
I get taken back to one of my psychward stays in the public hospital where I try and fail to negotiate with my own personal nurse ratchet, to be able to go out for a measly cigarette.
Back when I smoked and had less self-control, I used to get a little cranky when denied the simple pleasure of a cigarette to pass the time. At least until the powers that be returned to me sufficient freedoms, to quit taking the forcibly prescribe’d antipsychotics so I could try to off myself…again.
So when my impromptu smoke signal courtesy of a defaced power point and ignited bed sheets coupled with the wings lights going out due to being shorted alerts the orderlies to my irascibility. They seem to take further umbrage to the vulgarity I spout in response to the apparent vulgarities that were first directed at me.
Thus as I’ve finished failing to extricate myself of their ham-fisted grips before their done injecting me with a sedative, I’m stuck for far too long, in the moment of powerlessness that eviscerates any respite the shower provides.
Realizing the shower has apparently stopped and I’m standing there naked yet completely dry, I look at the bed and realize I’m not actually tired at all.
When taking into account the recent goings on, it’s pretty fucking weird since I’ve already been up for a day and a half and the adrenaline should have worn off by now. Chalking it up to my high vitality and hoping it’s not some kind of drug that was slipped into my food by Karen, I try to contemplate what I should do now?
Having just achieved my want of shelter and food, I still don’t feel reassured or safe but this is hardly surprising, considering I know jack about the potential strings attached to it.
Thinking a back to before I had to get the hell away from people, I distinctly remember a blue box mentioning trade of some kind and guess it is probably somewhere near the center of the Outpost if it’s to be found anywhere in this weird ass alien village.
Having little to no other information to go on, I decide that at least checking out the shops this place has to offer is a safe bet and get dressed in my shit fitting scavenged clothes. Exiting my Habitation Unit, I think about where in the center a store could be when another green fucking arrow makes an appearance in my vision.
Narrowing my eyes suspiciously as Karen’s potential handiwork, I note it is pointing toward the dome a good kilometer or two down the end of the black side street my cube is on. The more I think about it, the more the new things that have just been introduced to the world are like an intuitive thought based interface.
Focusing really hard on the idea of wanting to go towards the gateway where I entered the outpost, the green arrow evaporates right before my eyes. However when I turn to face the other way its back again and pointing a bit to the left in the opposite direction.
Smiling like a simpleton who has just discovered how to use a GPS for the first time, I think again of wanting to go to the Outposts shop or equivalent and lo and behold the arrow disappears and I swivel to see it pointing to the center once more.
Several more wishful minutes of testing out if it will lead me to cake or not and being thoroughly denied. I’m still sufficiently placated enough that the green arrow isn’t the handiwork of Karen, or going to lead me into a den of giant fucking Funnel-webs.
Thus I reorient myself toward the supposed direction of the shop and enter a contemplative meander.
After passing a perplexing number of uniform white cubes I come to what looks like the center of the Outpost. The area in question contains a reasonably sized vacant space between the cubes and the easily four story white dome, with a couple of visible arch like entrances.
People were milling about in small groups in the gap between the buildings and every so often, an individual would leave the dome before joining a group and heading out down one of the larger roads. Then there were the people like me who were coming from the cubes who were quickly met with one of the group members walking up to them and having an animated conversation.
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The people themselves all sported rudimentary gear consisting of maces, swords, shields, daggers, staves, spears and even bows. What interests me though, is that occasionally there was someone who had new looking leather armor. Looking like the starting zone of a medieval mmo, disregarding the white buildings of course and most peoples modern, if visibly damaged attire. I easily surmise that everyone’s probably forming party’s or waiting for people to do something in the dome before leaving the Outpost.
Wanting no part of any group based activates and getting called a fucking poofter, I steel myself to rebuff people’s attempts at conversation so as to get into the dome as soon as possible.
I made it about 15 meters with my head down before I encountered the first ambush attempt in the form of a middle aged woman with grey streaks in her auburn hair, waving a hand in my path a smiling in a bid to get my attention.
Dodging to the right and circling a group of three confused looking people, I think I hear her call out in a heavy South African accent.
“Hey, wait a second!”
Ignoring the potential entreaty, I keep my head down and head around another motley group of individuals, making haste to the entrance.
I hear some yelled abuse as I navigate the sporadic throng, getting to within about 10 meters of the entrance before the second ambush occurs.
A lanky Indian man with wavy dark hair, uses a similar tactic to the South African as he steps away from his group with a hand loosely holding a spear and the other outstretched for a hand shake as he states boisterously.
“My name is Rajiv it’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Coming up short as he’s effectively blocking my escape, I pray to his noodley saucedness for guidance before I try to counter his attack.
“Sorry man, not interested.”
The stun is effective.
While his face works through a series of emotions, I nimbly dodge around him with agility and speed I still haven’t quite come to terms with.
Passing the buildings threshold, it sounds like he recovered from my counter attack as he apparently tries a counter of his own.
“You’re a rude asshole, you know that?”
Smiling to myself as I resist his feeble attempt at negative engagement, I take in what looks like a hallway lined either side by arcade machines with stools in front with a circular stairwell going up and down at the hallways end.
On some of the stools sit people in everyday clothes suffering from a bit of wear and tear, one lady is sporting a chef’s jacket and another guy is even in a full business suit with shiny shoes included.
The thing they share in common though, is that they all ignore each other and stare intently at the blue screened and undecorated poker machines in front of them while occasionally tapping the screen.
Intrigued by the spectacle I go for a vacant seat to see what the fuss is all about. What I find on the screen is simple black text that reads like a basic computer menu:
Outpost #846 – Terminal #69
>Information
>Shop
>Auction House
>Quests
>Item Repair
>Item Manamote Extraction
>Outpost Communication
>Outpost Upgrade & Maintenance interface
Itching to tap the shop button, I instead resist my reignited consumerism for a moment and opt for the informational route:
Information -
Hello sentient,
Your planet’s population of sentient beings has reached the threshold of 10,000,000,000 individual’s and is undergoing elevation. This outpost, it’s facilities and others like it have been made available to you in accordance with Progenitor Elevation Code #9476, to make your species elevation attempt as streamlined as possible. More general information will be made available on the terminals in the future should it be deemed necessary.
New terminology you may or may not be familiar with:
Quest – To undertake a task given by another entity that has a reward upon completing the designated task, some are repeatable and all have time constraints.
Party – When two to six system initiated individuals mutually agree to form a Party and work cooperatively toward a goal or goals, sharing experience and Manamotes from combat or tasks undertaken. The maximum allowable Party size is six system initiated individuals. The Party may be dissolved when one or more of the individuals mentally elect to do so.
Raiding Party – When two to five system recognized Party’s mutually agree to form a larger group and work cooperatively toward a goal or goals, sharing experience from combat or tasks undertaken. However in the case of Manamotes they may be distributed by the designated Raiding Party leader. The maximum allowable Raiding Party size is thirty system initiated individuals. The Raiding Party may be dissolved when one or more of the individual Party’s mentally elect to do so.
More general information will be made available on the terminals in the future should you upgrade the Outpost’s facilities or it be deemed necessary by Progenitor Elevation Code #9231.
Regards Seraph #04762
Ooook, so if I’m reading this info dump correctly, it basically means that every human on the planet is in the same level of shit as me right now. Well that would be strangely comforting if that didn’t also mean women, children, disabled and the fucking elderly…..faaaaaaark.
I would complain to the United Nations about this but they are likely either dead or stuck in one of these outpost thingy’s too.
That means no more rule of law apart from whatever this system enforces.
Well Shiiiieeeeeeeeet!
So apocalypse rules plus magic powers and levels.
What harm could humanity do to itself with these things?
In the lit-RPG webnovels similar to this very situation I used to escape in, the recurring theme was that it’s every person for themselves…Well that and you must theory craft to the enth degree as you make the wrong choice while min/max, but at the same time cultivate a harem whilst cucking the bad guys at every turn…
The question is could I pull any of that off?
Short answer?
Nope.
Long answer?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE!
Problem one!
I’m legit certifiable if I don’t socially isolate, and there sure as shit aren’t any antipsychotics or mood stabilizer’s to keep me from going postal from prolonged exposure to people.
Problem two!
I fucking hate min/maxing.
Problem three!
I have no clue who the masterminds of the bad guys are to revenge my pupper.
Problem four!
I have the worst luck imaginable with the opposite sex, thus there will be no foundational consolidation of multiple beauties.
So time to stop catastrophizing and try and find some workable solutions.
My first want/need is to cure my crazy, so I should at least give overriding my Schizophrenia trait by absorbing some monsters…essence?… a crack.
Even if that fails, I should still try and maximize what appears to be my level advantage and try and score some more titles in the process. That could also segue nicely into me evening out my attribute distribution and ridding myself of the stench of a basement-dwellers niche build.
On my monster crushing quest I could also try some interrogation to get some better information…but not a huge fan of torture so that’s probably a non-starter.
I get called an elitist faggot and begin to feel like I’m being watched.
Scanning the other seats occupants to find that yes indeed my mind is playing tricks on me still, as they are all engrossed in their own screens blue glow. I Shift back to my own screen and hear a tearing sound from my borrowed clothing and almost smack myself in the forehead.
I should be fucking shopping right now!
I exit out of the information section and open the shop subsection to be greeted with a long ass list of things available for purchase. I won’t bore you with the whole list but I scroll up and down a few times and experimentally make my first purchase:
Elevant’s Essential Gear – Price = 1 Manamote
Level Requirement: 1
Effect: Clads the wearer in form fitting fabric undergarments, Leather clothing and sturdy boots
Restrictions: None
Description: Contained in a small mana enriched stone, the form fitting tan fabric undergarments, Leather clothing and sturdy boots once injected with the user’s mana. Provides no defensive bonuses whatsoever, save for shielding the user’s dignity. A common but necessary item generated for phase 1 worlds.
And the clothes materialize in my lap in a neatly folded pile. Momentarily lost in a ‘clothing fuck yeah!’ moment I pause when I start to see the necessity for a carry bag and select the largest of the three options as I’m so stronk now:
Major Bag of Holding – Price = 2500 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: 50 Cubic Centimeters exterior, 10 Cubic Meters internal storage space, Weighs 25% of the bags contents.
Durability: 500/500
Description: A mana infused major bag of holding that can store any solid material in its dimensionally enlarged interior. Enchanted with intermediate runes of spatial enlargement and weight reduction. A rare but necessary item generated for phase 1 worlds.
What is essentially a burlap leather bag plops into my lap next as I also realize I have 409 manamotes to spend just as I start to wonder how much I have left. Basing my purchasing on what I have previously encountered, I make some more purchases as I hold the bags draw string open to catch them when they appear:
Profession Tome of Basic Gathering – Price = 100 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Effect: Teaches individual Basic Gathering Profession.
Restrictions: Conflicts with other learned Professions.
Description: A profession tome that teaches an individual the basic principles of gathering materials in their many forms. A common but necessary item generated for phase 1 worlds.
Basic Intelligence Empowerment Potion – Price = 100 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Effect: Increases Intelligence permanently by 5
Restrictions: 1 use per individual (conflicts with other empowerment potions)
Description: Synthesized permanent intelligence empowerment potion made stable by airtight stoppered glass bottle. A common and necessary consumable generated for phase 1 worlds.
2 x
Basic Vapor Potion of Permanent Cure – Price = 15 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Effect: Cures individual of all minor Poisons, Toxins, Paralytics and also removes minor scar tissue.
Restrictions: 1 use per 12 hours
Description: Synthesized permanent potion of curing that cleanses the individual of all minor poisons, toxins, paralytics whilst also removing any minor scar tissue present. A ubiquitous and necessary consumable generated for phase 1 worlds.
Elevant initiate’s Hardwood Staff – Price = 10 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: Melee Damage + 5 – 10, Magic Power + 15 -20, +10% damage to all magical skills.
Durability: 30/30
Description: A mana imbued hardwood staff inscribed with basic offensive runes. A necessary yet common magical item generated for phase 1 worlds.
Elevant Initiate’s Steel-tipped Hardwood Spear (2 handed) – Price = 10 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: Melee Damage + 10 – 30, +10% Damage to all physical skills.
Durability: 35/35
Description: A mana imbued steel-tipped 2 handed hardwood spear imbued with basic offensive runes. A necessary yet common magical item generated for phase 1 worlds.
Elevant Initiate’s Steel Short Sword – Price = 5 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: Melee Damage + 10 – 15, +5% Damage to all physical skills.
Durability: 25/25
Description: A mana imbued steel short sword with basic offensive runes. A necessary yet common magical item generated for phase 1 worlds.
Elevant Initiate’s Steel dagger – Price = 5 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: Melee Damage + 10 – 15, +5% Damage to all physical skills.
Durability: 25/25
Description: A mana imbued steel dagger inscribed with basic offensive runes. A necessary yet common magical item generated for phase 1 worlds.
4 x
Elevant Initiate’s Sturdy leather Armor – Price = 5 Manamotes
Level Requirement: 1
Attributes: Increase physical and magical defense by 10%, +5 Maximum heath, +5 Maximum mana
Durability: 50/50
Description: Fully leather garb imbued with mana and inscribed with basic defense and enhancement runes. A necessary yet common magical item generated for phase 1 worlds.
And then I purchase another 19 [Elevant’s Essential Gear] as I check my manamote total and discover that I only have 129 left, I start to hear murmurs going on to my sides. Discreetly looking either side of me, I find that this time I’m not imagining the people full or staring at me as they talk quietly to each other.
The suit guy is the first to move as he strides over with nonchalant bravado and asks with a thick New Yorker accent.
“Hey guy, how much for the bag?”
Groaning inwardly I realize I should have tried to find a secluded machine before I started rampantly popping tags.
Turning to face him, I deploy countermeasures.
“Sorry, not for sale.”
This answer only seems to encourage him as he responds.
“Hey don’t be like that friend, everything has a price! So how much do you want? I’ll give you a thousand dollars US for it!”
About to reply that ‘this would be worth way more then that!’ I abort just in time as I realize that money is basically worthless now.
Taking a different tact I reply.
“You can get one easily from one of the machines.”
This response seems to actually annoy him as he shoots back.
“All right mister wise guy, you win! I’ll give you twenty grand for it!”
Starting to regret engaging with the guy I get told that I better sleep with one eye open while I get up from the seat and stow the free set of [Evelant’s Essential Gear] in the [Major Bag of Holding] while retorting.
“Yeah sorry, but I have somewhere I need to be.”
His face turns into a facsimile of a tomato with a bowl cut of black hair as he responds.
“Hey it’s your loss asshole!”
Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I make for the exit and break out into the midday sun.
Fuck, I forgot about the people out here!
I halt and go into breath exercise ‘DO NOT PANIC’ mode. Looking for the quickest route through, I also forgot that Indian guy is still out here, and he seems to want to remind me of the fact as he starts to march angrily over for ambush attempt #2.
Opting for total avoidance I go left and make it about thirty feet before I hear a female Canadian accent whisper loudly.
“Hey, that hobo guy has a bag!”
Turing to look for the speaker I fail to find the source and as I turn round I have almost run straight into two rough looking guys with beards, tattoos and leather vests. The two men seem to be missing their motor cycles and are none too happy about it as they turn to me with confusion intruding on their resting-bitch-faces.
Out of time to think of a better plan, I opt to barge through the pair to get out of the mass of people. Yet just as I’m about to make contact with them, blue white light erupts around me as it obscures everything while my skin tingles.