Phoebe

Phoebe took a deep breath and answered the phone. "Hey."

"Hey." On the other end of the line, Thessaly sounded hesitant. "Are you ok? You've been quiet…"

The hotel was in the foothills of Yuntai Mountain, looking out over the city glittering on the plain of Cao Wei. Phoebe stared at the view, the fading glow of the western half of the horizon. At least she could say she hadn't gone completely silent to the mermaid this time. But she still wasn't sure how to broach the topic that was bugging her.

She settled on, "Yeah, sorry."

"Was it the- the festival?"

Phoebe turned away from the window to press her back to the wall, trying not to bend double as her gut folded in on itself. Was she really this transparent? She still wasn't sure if it was presumptuous to ask if Thessaly had written those lyrics about her.

Always waiting, hesitating

I don't know what's real

If the moment is gone I don't know how to move on

And the tidal wave smashed through all I feel

Keep me hollow 'til tomorrow

You won't bother me with all your, with all your~

Dream if you wanna, scream if you wanna

You won't bother me with all your fears

She'd watched the clip enough times to have them memorised. Thinking about them again only paralysed her brain to silence. She managed a strangled, "Mm."

"Are you jealous?" Thessaly's tone was more accusation than tease.

Phoebe blinked, then pressed her free hand to her eyes. Jealous?

"Just because I was on stage with Tam, it doesn't mean anything, ok? It's just like you and Mynah."

That poked another raw wound, even now, but Phoebe pushed it aside. "That's not it. That's not… I didn't even think about that, Thessaly, I promise."

"Then what?"

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"It's-" The lyrics. You have to ask her about the lyrics. Phoebe felt like she was screaming at herself inside her head. "I, uh, um, that verse you wrote…"

"Yeah?" The mermaid's tone changed. Excitement? That wasn't quite it, but her attention had definitely sharpened.

It actually hurt to speak, the words like stones in her throat. "Is it- is it arrogant if I ask if they were about me?"

"Oh my god," Thessaly said, and for a moment Phoebe thought she was offended all the worse. "You finally noticed!"

"No, I mean, I-" Suddenly, where had felt cold and stiff, now Phoebe was burning, her skin prickling as she spluttered, "I just, I didn't want to- what if you'd been, you hadn't- I mean, I didn't want to assume you'd be… writing… about me…" She felt her voice shrinking as she finished.

"Oh my godddddd," the mermaid said again, dragging out the last syllable. "How can you be this dense? Who else would I be writing about?"

"I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing," Phoebe said, realising how whiny she sounded.

Thessaly didn't cut her any slack. "At some point you're going to have to figure it out."

"Is that really how you feel?"

"Which bit?"

"Uh…" Phoebe ran the words through her head again. "I guess… what do you mean by, like, 'dream if you wanna', that bit?"

"Um, it's like, you don't have to choose between me and racing, right?" Thessaly sounded like she wasn't actually sure. "I don't wanna come between you and your dreams, I just- I just want a place among them, is that ok?"

"I didn't- I don't- I-" Phoebe shut her mouth, fighting back more stammering. She took a breath. "I'm not worried about that. About having to choose, I mean."

"Really? You seem really scared sometimes."

"Scared?" You won't bother me with all your fears.

"Yeah. I don't know what it is, it just feels like you're afraid all this will be taken away from you if you relax for even a second."

Despite herself, Phoebe let out a quiet snort. "I mean, it might be, Thessaly, the team, Soot, everything. I still owe Angelo Castelloro millions of Royals, remember?"

"I'm not-" Thessaly went quiet, and when she spoke again, it was more thoughtfully. "You have to be careful, I understand. I do get it, I just… I wish you felt more like I was part of this with you. That you could open up to me more."

"I'm probably more open with you than anyone else, Thessaly, who else do I have to open up to anymore?" It was surprising how easy that came to say, but it was true. As panicked as she'd felt, she'd been simultaneously relieved when the mermaid messaged asking if she could call. "I'll be back in Rindburg in a few weeks, maybe it'll be easier to talk face-to-face."

"Oh, that was what I wanted to call about, actually!" The change in Thessaly's mood was dramatic. "I'm going to be at the Winter Palace!"

"What?" Phoebe turned to the window again, looking out to the night-dark east. "How?"

"Brynna called me from the airport this morning, I've been Summonsed." The grin in the mermaid's voice was audible. "I'm going to be singing the anthem, before the race!"