“I guess I’ll stop here,” I mumbled under my breath.

I found myself walking through Enderic, a small town with minimal shops. It’s nothing like Ulm or Clueknicks. Instead, it was the opposite. It wasn’t busy at all.

This was my first time here. To be truthful, I just stumbled upon this place. I didn’t even know there was a town here. The only reason why I knew it was Enderic was because of the hard-to-miss “Welcome to Enderic” sign at the heart of town. There was a lovely little fountain with water squirting from the fish’s mouth. The marble shined as if someone cleaned it every day.

But that wasn’t the reason as to why I took my pitstop.

I opened the door of this tiny bakery and immediately got smacked with a wave of freshness and delightfulness. I constantly swallowed my watery mouth as I waited behind another person who took their time to order.

Usually, bakeries display their food behind glass, which is visible to everyone. This one didn’t. Instead, everything was behind the man at the register as he counted outis coins. It was a neat place with minimal crumbs on the floor. It looked as though someone swept every thirty minutes or so. I mean, it was kinda scary as to how clean this place was.

“Next,” said the man at the register.

I took a few steps forward. “Toast with strawberry jam, please.”

“Sorry, we are currently out of strawberry jam. We do have blueberry jam, though.”

Oh…I see.

I had never tried blueberry jam, and I didn’t want to. If I liked it better than strawberry jam, it would betray my staple meal.

Yet again, I still couldn’t taste anything, so it’s not like it really mattered.

“I’ll just take a blueberry muffin.”

I handed the man a couple of bronze outis coins, which made me feel great about my purchase. In Clueknicks, a muffin would equate to multiple silver coins. Was I getting scammed without even knowing?

I took my muffin, which was in a small brown paper bag, and scanned the area for an open table. Seating was difficult, considering the lack of seats, but I did manage to find one empty spot. Clueknicks would have a ridiculous amount of seating, and it would still be packed. But here, it seemed as though not many people passed by. Was this place mainly for the locals?

I shrugged off my question and grabbed my muffin. It was soft and crispy to the touch. Glimpses of yellow popped from the light brown, presumably the small bits of banana. The smell entered my nose and waved a sense of comfort.

If only I could taste…

I took a bite. Nothing. Just nothing. It bummed out my mood a bit, but at least I smelt the goodness. Ah, who am I kidding? I wanted to cut my tongue and replace it.

While I was chowing down on my muffin, an elderly lady approached my table. Her hunched posture allowed her many necklaces to dangle freely.

“May I have a seat here?”

I glanced around. This was the only seat available, granted they barely had any to begin with. I welcomed her presence as she took a seat after my nod.

“I thank you. An older lady like me cannot stand for too long,” she chuckled.

I replied. “No worries.”

A quick and deflective response. I didn’t want to pursue a conversation, but like always, my wish wasn’t granted.

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“Are you from Enderic?” she asked slowly, taking a plain bagel from a brown paper bag.

“No.”

“What town are you from?”

“I’m not from a town.”

She gave me a funny look through her wrinkly face. “An orphan?”

Where did that come from?

“N-No. It’s complicated, and I don’t feel like explaining.”

“I’m fine with bullet points. I love to talk to new people, even at this age. It would be very kind of you to introduce yourself more.”

Great…

Telling her about the cult and my past was a no-go. She didn’t need to know, and I didn’t want to be explaining for hours. Even the so-called ‘bullet points’ are too long.

“My name is Jill. I don’t know where I’m from and how I got to Enderic, but I’m here.”

She smiled kind-heartedly like every other sweet, elderly lady. “I thank you for stating your name, Jill. My name is Gloria. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

I gave a half-assed “Likewise” and continued eating my muffin. Man, all I wanted was peace.

“Do you not know where you are from, or do you not want to tell me?” She asked.

A little bit of both.

I told her, “My past isn’t something I talk about.”

She looked at me oddly as though I lied in some way. “Well, why is that? Do you not like where you came from?”

Great…

There was no way to escape this conversation. I was stuck here, drowning slowly.

Maybe if…

The idea I had wasn’t great, but maybe I would shut her up and leave me alone. It was a risky move, but one I was willing to take.

I raised my left arm, rolling up my sleeve. Multiple scars and lacerations of various degrees of size ran throughout the skin. Most had already healed, and some were healing from the previous fight. None were completely fresh, though.

Most of those scars were from my life locked in a cell. We were punished without a real reason, mainly to entertain the guards. They enjoyed using children as punching bags. We wouldn’t retaliate. Not because we couldn’t but because fear devoured us. It grabbed us by the throat, squeezing till our head shot out of our body.

“This is why I don’t speak about my past,” I said.

She didn’t react. I imagined a little jaw-drop or at least a face, but I got nothing.

Instead, she calmly said, “You’ve been through a rough time, I see.”

Rough is an understatement.

It was more like hell. No, worse. It was hell’s hell.

“Now you know why I don’t like talking about it,” I said.

“Yes, you may have a reason, but do not let those times define who you are today.”

“Tsk, I don’t need a motivational speech.”

She took a small bite out of her bagel. “Great food is truly a beautiful thing,” she said.

It was an odd statement I didn’t care to respond to. I, too, took a bite of my tasteless muffin. I couldn’t say the same thing as her.

“What do you consider a beautiful desire? I know for me, I want to taste as many different dishes as possible.”

“Is a beautiful desire different from a normal desire?”

“A beautiful desire is a strong and unique emotion of ardent longing for something or someone. This type of desire is motivated exclusively by emotion. It may not be realistic or rational, but it is nonetheless powerful. A normal desire is more balanced. It is motivated less by emotions and more by realism. You may still care for and want someone or something, but you're also thinking about the larger picture and making judgments based on logic and reason rather than emotions.”

A simple ‘yes’ would suffice.

Nevertheless, her words were somewhat powerful. It causes my brain to jog a bit.

What is my beautiful desire?

If a beautiful desire is based on emotions and less practicality, then getting into Ionia wasn’t it. Sure, it was a top-level desire, but it wasn’t a beautiful one. Maybe…

“In that case, surrounding myself with beauty is probably my beautiful desire.”

She carefully placed the bagel on top of her paper bag. “What exactly do you mean?”

“I mean that surrounding myself with beautiful people is probably it…”

“Do you have beautiful people in your life?”

I half-heartedly smiled. “Not anymore.”

“Well,” she said, “You cannot create a beautiful landscape without high mountains and low valleys. People come and go. That’s what life is. Learn to love the people surrounding you before life teaches you to live with what you’ve lost.”

I gave the same smile.

“Ya… I guess.”