I lay with my nose facing the roof of the tent. One hand rested on my forehead, palm facing up. The other was by my side. I didn’t bother slipping into the sleeping bag, so I lay on top of it. It wasn’t laziness or the heat or anything; I just didn’t want to go in.

I’d changed into completely new clothing and washed the blood off my arms. It took me a while since I’d stop at random intervals, but I got the job done.

It’s been roughly thirty minutes since they returned to camp. I didn’t see Harley and the others. Maybe I missed them. I wasn’t sure. My head wasn’t in its best shape. A long sleep could probably fix it. I wouldn’t mind it. I could use a long sleep.

But could I sleep knowing the truth?

The enemy was a former Ionian scientist. He got greedy and used a special creation on himself, leading to his exile. Before his death, he uttered words that didn’t make sense.

I recalled what the man said: “Fix Ionia.”

Heh, fix Ionia? Ionia was heaven—better even. Only a fool like him would be exiled from utopia. Ionia didn’t need fixing. What needed fixing was humans as a whole. We shouldn’t be divided. We should thrive together as a whole. It didn’t need fixing; it required unity.

It was my job to deliver that unity. But now, after knowing the truth, would I even be alive two years from now? The parasite had gotten stronger. Its voice was the loudest it had ever been. Its thoughts and my own were converging.

I questioned myself: Am I still me?

While pondering, someone said my name through the tent. I raised my head, acknowledging with a response.

“Who’s this?”

“It’s me, Nadia.

Great. What did she want?

I got up to unzip the tent’s entrance. She backed away, giving me enough space to fully get out.

“You called?”

“I did.” She said. “Would you mind coming to the cabin? I have a few questions regarding the situation.”

I agreed with a fuss. It was surprising how Nadia was sent to retrieve me. Normally, Harley would’ve volunteered. Was Harley feeling fine? Maybe her legs were tired. Guessing was all I had.

We reached the cabin in silence. There was no one there—just me and her.

Odd. Shouldn’t Ruby be here, at least? Maybe she was sleeping. Again, guessing was all I had.

“Have a seat,” Nadia said while sitting in Ruby’s chair.

I didn’t question her reason and did as told. Ruby and the others had to be sleeping. Especially Jeremry. His stamina wasn’t the best.

Nadia spoke in a normal tone. “There are a few things I want to go over. But before that, I want to know what happened at camp.”

“Nothing much. Ruby’s intuition was right. They attacked us when our numbers were low.”

Her voice diminished as she spoke. “I see. It must’ve been violent because of the head and all.”

“Let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant.”

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“Was there a need for decapitation? On top of that, you impaled his loose head with his own blade. Quite brutal, I must say.”

His own blade? She must’ve known I never wielded a sword and assumed I used the enemy's.

I didn’t want to spill information carelessly. It was best to keep my words to a minimum. I mean, how else could I explain my situation? How could I tell her that I’m slowly drowning?

“I did what I had to do. That is all,” I said.

“Is that all?”

“Yes.”

She clicked her tongue, which was uncharacteristic of her. “I want details. How did the enemy ambush, and who fought whom? Why were you sitting on the deceased body? I need all that information to grasp better what happened.”

“Tuh, I’ll tell all that to Ruby.”

“No, you must tell me.”

I got up, brushing my pigtail behind my shoulder. “Why is that? You’ll just replay the message to Ruby, which creates more work for you. I’ll simply tell her myself when she’s awake.”

She tilted her head slightly. The movement was so subtle that one would have to pay attention to fully notice it.

“What do you mean by ‘when she's awake?’”

“She’s sleeping, I assume. However, I don’t know where Harley and Jeremy are. They probably crashed at Ruby’s place. They must be tired from the journey.”

Nadia curled her lips inward and exhaled through her nose, which was loud for me to hear. She looked around, unable to keep eye contact. For some reason, she kept fidgeting, which was uncommon. The usual coolness disappeared as her breath became uneven.

“Jill, about that,” she said.

“...”

“Ruby is…she’s not—not with us.”

“Meaning?”

She took a deep breath, this time from her mouth. “She isn’t home. Ruby, Harley, and Jeremry didn’t come home with us. We don’t know where they are, but we presume they are at the bandit’s base.”

I left the cabin in a hurry. I didn’t walk or run—it was more like a speed walk. I didn’t bother questioning Nadia anymore. She had no reason to lie. Whatever she said, I took to my heart.

“Jill—wait.”

I didn’t listen, rushing to the stables.

“Jill!”

I kept going. I wasn’t going to back down with mere words. The only way to stop me was by using force.

Which was used.

She grabbed my hand and spun me around.

“It’s irrational to act like a hero.”

“How else do you want me to act?”

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“My friends are there. I don’t know why they aren’t with you— for whatever reason—I don’t know. All I know is that they are in enemy territory without any significant help.”

“And what help are you going to provide? You’re dead if you end up fighting,” Nadia said.

“I’m already dying.” I placed both hands on her shoulders with my head low, defeated. “I’m already dying…”

“Pardon?”

“They gave me everything. A home, a family, memories to look back at as my soul gets eaten away. The least I can do is protect them for everything they have given me.”

“What—What are you trying to say?”

There was no point in telling her the truth.

“I—I—I love this place, you know.” I looked up into her eyes. “I really do.”

I dropped my shoulders and booked it to the stables. I was much faster than Nadia, so outrunning her wasn’t the issue. The problem was her following me. I didn’t want to deal with that.

I reached the stables and dragged the first one I saw out of its gate—thing. I completely forgot its name.

I threw on a saddle and got a few things ready. Once I was all set, I hopped on the horse. But there was an issue. Nadia blocked the exit.

“I can’t let you leave,” she said.

“Please, let me save them.”

“Have faith in Ruby. Everything will be alright.”

“I’m sorry, Nadia. But I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

I commanded the horse to bulldoze forward. Nadia leaped out of the way at the last second. I looked back. She didn’t grab a horse to try and stop me. She simply stood looking lost. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my words or actions. It could’ve been something completely different.

Don’t worry, Nadia, I’ll bring them home for you. Nothing bad will happen. I promise.