We walked towards our destination in the chilly breeze. It wasn’t too bad, but it was enough to make me stash my fingers in my pockets. Jermey and I trailed the pack, discussing whatever was on our minds. Well, his mind.

“That’s why I think I’m one of the better cooks.”

“Uh-huh.”

“What do you think about my cooking? Do you like it? Is it a bit spicy for your bud?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh…? Really? I’ll try my best next time to make it just right.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Jill…? Are you stupid?”

“Uh-huh.”

He grabbed me by the shoulders, shaking my skin off. “You weren’t even listening to me! Bastard!”

“S-Sorry.”

“It’s whatever,” he growled. “It wasn’t anything important.”

“Ok…?”

“Hey!” Lex shouted from afar. “Can you guys hurry the fuck up!”

“Coming!” Jeremy yelled back.

While we made haste to catch up, a question streamed down my mind that I had to ask.

“Jeremy.”

“Yer?”

“Why are there only nine of us? Considering the numbers that the base has, we should have more, no?”

“Ya, Lex tends to under-prepare for raids. It’s a hassle trying to fend off multiple attackers at once, but they usually aren’t highly skilled.”

“Has Ruby said anything to him? I guess, to like, you know, prepare a bit more?”

He snickered, “Not my responsibility, so I don’t stress over it. You shouldn’t either. You’ll be fine as long as you don’t die.”

What a genius.

***

The biting chill gripped my skin, sending shivers through my body. My fingers constantly rubbed against each other, and my teeth clattered despite my efforts to hide it. I didn’t deserve the right to bash someone else's preparation.

“Alrighty, peeps, we stop here,” Lex said, dropping his bag carelessly. “Form a circle and shit. Y’all know the drill.” Once everyone was in a circle, they interlocked their fingers, slamming their chest. “Fuck…I’m supposed to give an admirable speech. Shit, whatever, may we bleed together. Heh, that kinda rhymed.”

“May we bleed together,” repeated everyone.

Lex continued. “Y’all ready?”

“Is there a battle plan?”

Lex looked at me like a deformed animal. “Battle plan? Ppffff. Fuck, don’t die.”

I refuse to raid with this man ever again.

“Any other shitty questions? If not, give ‘em hell.”

I charged in with the rest without a plan. This wasn’t ideal for me since I wasn’t sure how to properly raid. Last time, I was stuck outside watching the base reduce into ashes. It was frustrating watching from afar, unable to do anything.

Today will be different, I repeated.

I wasn’t going to sit around and do nothing. I refuse to be helpless like before. It’s my turn. My turn to prove my worth. My turn to test my ace.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

“There’s a wall ahead,” someone announced.

“Get the torches ready!”

“Got ‘em.” Someone chucked fully lit torches across the wall.

It wasn't that big of a wall, but definitely one we couldn’t climb. Made with giant logs that pointed upwards, it would be difficult to hold a solid grip.

“Dinkle! Don’t yeet them on the other side!”

“It’s bound to hit something.”

“You didn’t even light ‘em properly! Our surprise attack started with dead torches!”

The two went back and forth, butting heads. I leaned into Jermey’s ear, asking where Lex was since he was nowhere around.

He replied with a similar tone. “He sits out. He doesn’t enjoy participating ‘cause he fears that he’ll stain his clothes.”

Yep, never raiding with Lex ever again.

“And these arguments…are they normal?”

“Someone always has something to complain about. Believe it or not, it isn’t as bad as it normally is.”

I pointed to the mess, whispering with urgency. “He pinned his comrade with a dagger.”

Jermey casually shrugged it off like it was a regular occurrence. “It happens.”

On the verge of expressing some anger, I bottle up the courage to lash at not-so-serious comrades. Jermey must’ve noticed my anger since he tapped my shoulder.

“Don’t get involved. It’s for your safety.”

“For my safety?” I repeated as a question. “Don’t be absurd. It’s not like they’re going to do anything.”

“Jill,” he grabbed my arm, concerned, “You don’t understand. If anything happens to you, I—”

I snatched my arm away, ignoring his warning. “Someone has to lead.”

“Fine. You win. But I won’t be able to do anything if anything happens.”

I sighed an aggravated one. I had the urge to rip someone’s scalp off.

“Do you guys mind taking this somewhat seriously?” I hissed, “The enemy is on the other side of the walls, and we’re out here making too much noise. There’s gotta be an entrance. Let’s settle down and find it.”

“Oh? Who made you boss,” asked a man with a rather repulsive, raspy voice, as if he’s been shouting all his life.

“If no one is going to step up, then I will.”

He looked around, giggling at my words. “Pack it up, everyone. The Queen will handle this on her own.” The others followed with giggles of their own.

He continued. “Rookie, you’re unaware of this, so let me explain. Everyone in Lex’s group has one desire: to stand out. We compete with each other. If someone shines a little brighter from the next, it doesn’t do good for us. What do you think happens to someone who tries to be better than others?”

“I’m not trying to be better. I want to get the job done.”

“A humble answer,” he growled, spitting yellow mucus on the dirt. “You think you’re better than us, don’t you? Just because you raided with Nadia, you think we’re inferior to you?”

The crowd got rowdy. It was almost like being in a street performance where everyone’s eyes were attached to your body. Their hawk-like eyes stroked a shiver down my spine.

“N-No. It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh really? Is that so?”

Someone locked my arms from behind. I struggled, unable to pull free. His arms were similar to Randy’s, which was saying something. My arms rendered me powerless to fight back. He leaned close to my ear, menacingly whispering:

“Struggle, and you’ll regret it.”

My heart skipped a few beats. There was no way they would do something. After all, we’re in the same cult. Why would they do anything? Why would they? I surrounded myself with optimistic thoughts, but it only took me so far. Regardless of my thoughts, I was at the mercy of everyone else.

“Teach her a lesson!” Someone exclaimed.

“Pound her face in the soil!”

“Strangle her purple!”

“It’s a shame no one here can save you,” he said, pointing at the crowd. “In theory, they can, they just won’t. Why, you wonder? It’s simple. No one likes a know-it-all.” He closer, licking his filthy lips. “It’s nothing personal, just a little lesson for the future.”

“Do anything, and I’ll tell Ruby.”

“Using connections as a shield? Are you trying to piss me off more?

He whined back and released a devastating punch to my stomach. Blood rushed up my esophagus. Mucus leaked through my lip. I struggled to remain standing, my hands tried clutching to my stomach, but couldn’t.

“You won’t tell Ruby. I’m sure you don’t want anything to happen to Jeremy?”

“Bl…uff. You—Blu…ffing.”

He squatted and met my eyes. “Bluffing? I’m sure if we tell Ruby that Jeremy died a heroic death in the raid, she wouldn’t suspect a thing.”

No way. I refused to believe it. He’s bluffing. He had to be. Why kill your squad mate to prove a point?

“Cray.” It was a distant, rough voice from behind.

“Lovely! You caught the rat who went to tell. I owe you a solid, Martin. So is he unconscious?”

“Yep.”

“Did you hear that,” the Cray whispered, “Your buddy has been caught, unconscious. Will he awake if tossed in a fire?”

“Lay one…one hand and I’ll—!”

The person behind whipped me to the ground. I was encircled by a mob of raiders, leaving me with no time to protect myself. They surged in swiftly, beating me from all sides with kicks and punches. I was overpowered and helpless to resist the rapid attack. The repetition of blows had my head spinning, and I could feel blood dripping from my lips and nose.

My eyesight became hazy. I felt like I was going to faint. My thoughts were scrambled, unable to make sense. I closed my eyes, seeing black—nothing but black.

“You’re angry, aren’t you? Angry that you got beaten to a plum. Angry about what they’ll do to Jeremy? Do you feel it? The blazing inferno of hatred flowing in your veins? Thoughts of malice reeking through your pores? You wish for revenge, correct? You want to show your capabilities. Your blood is my blood. Your wrath is my wrath. Plague them with fear. Show no mercy. Run rampant. Release it. Release it all.”