Thrash and Mary headed back to base after defeating the mobs in the entrance room of Floor Seven. Mary wanted to push forwards, a harsh glint gleaming in her eyes, but after a particularly exhaustive fight against a trio of serpents, Thrash needed to replenish his Health Apples. The serpents were becoming more difficult to kill, and Thrash did not want to lose Mary for good.
They both sat on the chairs in the dungeon base, Thrash holding a pack of ice - produced by Mush - to his nose. It was fully healed, but sore as hell. Within Dungeon Management, Thrash could see a new icon amongst the rest of his achievements and notifications.
Descent Statistics: Sewers of the Empire (Single Trip)
Number of Adventurers: 2 - Thrash (Dungeon Master), Mary (Pirate)
Floors Completed: 6
Enemies Defeated: 27x Sewer Serpent, 4x Blackwater Sentry
Single Trip Experience Gained: 1850 XP
Dungeon Experience Gained: 185 XP
‘Dungeon experience?’ Thrash almost laughed, before frowning. ‘Why wasn’t this here before?’ he asked Mush aloud, sharing the frame with Mary, who nodded in approval, her gold tooth glinting.
Mush buzzed. ‘You have yet to descend a floor whilst at Rank E. This is a new feature, with new benefits.’
There was another version for the dungeon’s total statistics. Thrash could see his and Pierre’s trip in Caves of the Glade, and could see his own trip down to Ruins of the Fallen.
Thrash shrugged. His dungeon was over halfway to Rank D, a bonus he hadn’t expected from the descent. He had been hoping to clear that Weekly Challenge, but with Pierre on the way tomorrow, that shouldn’t be too problematic.
Mary stretched, yawning. ‘Right, I need to go back and choose a boat. Here you go -’ She gestured at her interface, and Thrash received another notification.
Quest Update: Escort Please
You have successfully escorted Mary with her dungeon descent.
You have received 18x Gold Pieces
‘There, that’s a rounded up figure,’ Mary said.
Thrash’s mouth was open, slowly calculating the math. ‘You gathered 180 pieces of gold?’
Even Mush buzzed from beside Thrash. BEDROOM!
Mary laughed. ‘That was a very, very good run.’ She hesitated for a moment, before opening a trade window. ‘Here, have these as well. I’m not sure what I can do with them.’
You have engaged in a Trade with Mary.
Mary has offered: Cursed Scale
Mary has offered: Mystic Tear x5
Mary has offered: Spell Book: Whip It
You are offering: Nothing.
Confirm trade?
Thrash looked at Mary, Mush’s buzzing increasing. He could feel the robot glaring at the spell book. She wasn’t going to like this. ‘You don’t want anything for them?’
Mary shook her head, swinging one of her pistols - Dennis, Thrash presumed - around in her hand. ‘You helped me down - and believe me, I have enough to get started on my ship. I can probably buy one outright. If I can, I’ll send you a gift.’
Thrash laughed. ‘This is enough, Mary - or, Captain, I should say. Captain of the Black Jack.’
He accepted the trade, the items rolling into his inventory, alongside a new achievement. Thrash considered reviewing their descriptions, but then looked up at Mary, who’s face had fallen. ‘You okay?’
She smiled again, though seemed subdued compared to when she had entered. ‘You’ll be able to message me now, right?’
Thrash nodded, reapplying the ice to his nose for a moment. It was sad - she looked like he had when he’d first awoken as a Dungeon Master, only without a shaggy beard.
DO NOT ACCEPT ANY OFFERS OF INTIMACY, Mush exclaimed to Thrash. YOU ARE UNPREPARED.
Mary sniffed. ‘I’m just thinking how far I have to go before I can go into a dungeon like that on my own. Like, I’ve always known that entering Starr Galaxy was practically certain death, but…’
Thrash sighed in his seat, leaning forwards toward her. ‘You’re not an idiot child, though, right? Which means that the roads ahead are going to be difficult, but achievable. And from what I saw today, Dennis and Gnasher are going to absolutely destroy.’
She smiled, but didn’t say anything. Thrash looked at Mush, who beeped down defiantly at him. I also believe Dennis will destroy.
Mary looked up as well, eyeing Mush with a sense of concern. ‘What did she say?’
‘She agrees with me,’ Thrash snorted. ‘Dennis is a slayer.’
He assessed the young girl. Age was always an anomaly in the dungeon - the race chosen could make Adventurers look eighty years old, or ten years old. For most humanoid races, though - especially those that Thrash was familiar with, like Earth-based humanoids - age was fairly accurate. She was too young; too unprepared. He wondered how many others were like Mary, swinging into the entertainment system for a chance at fame and fortune, not truly understanding the terrors that would come.
You were five years old, Thrash, Mush pointed out.
Thrash shrugged. I’ve never known another life.
‘Are you scared?’ Thrash asked Mary, her eyes leaping to his and confirming his suspicions.
She spun the pistol in her hands, then gently placed it back in its holster. ‘Less so now, thanks. That first Blackwater Sentry was a beast. We had it figured out after that, but it shook me for a moment. My damage was horrific. If I were on my own…’
‘It shook me too,’ Thrash said as her words failed her. Each time he had entered the dungeon, one beast or another had flung him across a room or broken his back while spitting venom or tentacles at him. The frequency was frustrating, but the fear was worse. His hatred for the pacifier raged. Then, it halted, once again replaced with the urging desire to run.
You couldn’t run half a mile, Mush whispered in his interface.
‘Keep me updated, okay. If anything happens, I’ll help, don’t worry,’ Thrash continued, slapping a hand on her shoulder. ‘I may not be an Adventurer, but I can still be of use. Do you need anything else?’
Mary shook her head, clicking her neck. She held out her hand as Thrash stood, but then decided to give him a half-hug, quickly closing the gap and then opening it again before he could even register what had happened. To his surprise, he found himself thinking that he wouldn’t have pulled away.
Mush trembled with rage. How dare she touch -
‘Thanks, Thrash,’ Mary said, hand touching the portal. In an instant, she was gone, leaving Thrash and Mush alone once again.
‘I don’t like her,’ Mush announced.
Thrash sighed. ‘I do, Mush. I do.’
He checked his interface, the new items present to review. In the corner of his screen, the ever-present eyes of his father were watching, unblinking. He swiped the interface away.
‘I recommend you immediately burn those new items,’ Mush stated matter-of-factly.
Thrash snorted. ‘Of course you do.’
Whip It (Spell Book)
Item Rarity: Uncommon
Master the art of summoning a ghastly tentacle with a simple flick of your wrist. This spell deals physical damage and can be used to yank enemies or latch onto distant objects.
Perfect for reminding foes who’s in charge - but beware, those suckers are stickier than you'd think.
Warning: USE SUCKERS FOR INTENDED PURPOSE ONLY.
Spell Effect: Deals base 15 damage, with each point of Intelligence adding a 1% bonus to damage.
Spell Cost: 30 Mana per cast
Spell Cooldown: 30 seconds
Note: Earn spell experience each time you successfully use this spell. Levelling up increases total base damage and decreases cooldown time.
Thrash looked at Mush, her body scarily lifeless, and then activated the spell, learning it in a quick motion, an achievement notification appearing. A new window appeared on his interface, just above the inventory bar at the bottom of his screen. It was titled ‘Spells’, and he could have up to four in his rotation before needing to swap them out. This was his primary, listed at Level 1.
He looked back at Mush, still hovering without movement.
‘Mush?’ Thrash questioned hesitantly. ‘You okay?’
‘Mush is formulating a plan to burn you,’ she replied, buzzing angrily. ‘Magic is one of the seven sins.’
‘Hm,’ Thrash nodded, humouring her. ‘Sure it is. What were the others again? Pets? Mana? Mothers? Mothers using mana?’
Mush bumped into his back, zooming away to the ceiling before he could retaliate. He swore at her, then assessed his stats. Nothing had changed there. He moved onto the next two items.
Cursed Scale
Item Rarity: Rare
Ancient, dark scales are said to be imbued with malevolent magic. Combine with gear of your choice when crafting to add a secret, dark effect to it.
If your armour starts whispering at night, don’t say we didn’t warn you. If Mummy starts whispering, pucker up, bitch.
Mystic Tear x5
Item Rarity: Common
These shimmering droplets are pure liquid mana, replenishing energy when consumed or used for crafting magical items.
One of many mana items in the Starr Galaxy, this is no different to other common pieces. However, don’t blow them all at once. Well, blow them as you like - Mummy’s watching, but she’ll only judge a little.
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Effect: Restores 25 mana points when consumed for mana restoration.
Thrash snorted. Immediately, he reviewed his crafting options for the two. The Mystic Tear was as common as the Shiny Apple for mana restoration, though the apple was far superior. As for crafting magical gear, his tears could help a little. The better equipment required more ingredients, or ingredients of a higher level, but for now… Thrash was missing gear for his face, chest, and legs, and he had just spotted a monocle that would help him on his new magical journey.
‘I FORBID IT,’ Mush shouted, Thrash shaking his head in response and sticking his middle finger up at her. However, the gear only added 2% to his intelligence, so wasn’t worth the argument. Not now, anyway.
Thrash reviewed the Cursed Scale, coming to a similar conclusion. Without actually using the item, it wouldn’t tell him what the effects would be. He could combine it with any of his current gear pieces, needing only additional gold to complete the craft. The options were certainly there, but he figured he’d need to learn more about dark gear before actually crafting with it. The thought of using it with Sigrid crossed his mind, but he dismissed it as quickly as it came. There was no way that he wanted to face Mush on that subject.
He moved on from the two items. He leapt over the counter and sat upon his bed for a moment, checking his messages. It was quiet - other than his Vendor Exchange, the spam filling his inbox in vast quantities. He eyed his achievements, each one calling out to him, but Sigrid had a new skill to learn, and Mush would likely want to be involved. He stood again, moving to the counter.
‘Hey Mush, Sigrid has a new skill to -’
‘MY GIRL IS GROWING UP?’ Mush exclaimed, landing on the counter with a thud. ‘Hurry!’
Thrash chuckled, placing Sigrid on the counter. She started to shimmer, radiating a faint blue glow that felt entirely comforting. The air became thick with anticipation, Mush peering down as though examining the sword through a microscope. The skill choices hovered before Thrash on his interface, three of them in total. However, as he scanned over the options, he hit a roadblock. He wasn’t allowed to confirm a choice. He could read through the descriptions, but that was where his access ended.
‘Mush… Why can’t I select a skill?’
Mush buzzed. ‘Nobody can choose Sigrid’s skill other than Sigrid.’
Thrash swore, kicking the counter. ‘You’re kidding? What if she chooses something shitty?’
‘Sigrid is unable to choose poorly - she is Sigrid.’
Thrash glowered, staring at his screen.
Tier 1: Basic Skills
Option 1: Mana Infusion
Description: This skill increases spellcasting accuracy and reduces mana costs.
Thrash raised an eyebrow, his fury passing like a subdued storm. ‘Less mana? Well, with a new spell, that could be a win?’
Mush shifted Sigrid away from him, whispering. ‘Don’t listen to the man-child, Sigrid.’
Thrash moved onto the next choice.
Tier 1: Basic Skills
Option 2: Elemental Slash
Description: Imbues your attacks with elemental energy.
‘Elemental damage, huh?’ Thrash rubbed his chin, promptly moving on from his frustration. ‘Can I choose an element, or is it random? I guess that puts my stone out of use, huh.’
‘Random,’ Mush answered. ‘And yes. You were untimely with your purchase. We could have had a bedroom.’
‘Yeah, yeah,’ he said, as Sigrid flashed softly. ‘This could be good. It’s probably the best choice, actually.’
Tier 1: Basic Skills
Option 3: Blade of Focus
Description: Increases attack damage and critical hit rate.
‘Okay, this one sounds practical. Pure damage - I bet there’s nothing you can find wrong here, Mush?’
Mush beeped. ‘This choice pleases Mush. Sigrid, darling, will you choose for Mummy? Not the mana one, darling, no. I’m sure it used to be your favourite, but no. Elia was wrong, dear. Brigwell should be your figurehead.’
Thrash’s attention snapped towards the robot. ‘Excuse me? Elia used her as a magical weapon, did she?’
Mush held up her extendable arm to silence him, Thrash swearing in a fury. ‘Mush, do not manipulate Sigrid.’
The sword suddenly shone a bright blue, a notification and achievement appearing on Thrash’s interface. He crossed his fingers, his face red and fuming.
Commiserations! The Whimpering Sword of Sigrid has unlocked the skill ‘Elemental Slash’
Your bond with Sigrid has improved! Mummy is so happy. It feels like my two favourite kids grew up and got engaged. It's every parent's dream.
This skill incorporates elemental energy in your strikes, dealing bonus damage and adding crowd control effects.
Effect 1: Adds +10 elemental damage (fire, ice, or lightning) to your attacks.
Effect 2: Grants a 5% chance to apply a crowd control effect (burn, freeze, or shock) on hit.
Note: Sigrid has chosen her first Basic Skill using 1x Skill Point. Sigrid will gain a Skill Point every 3x Levels.
Thrash gave Mush a triumphant stare, immediately stepping back when her display flashed red. She hovered above Sigrid, blinking and beeping as though deeply concerned. Thrash raised an eyebrow, not truly knowing whether or not Mush could do anything to negatively impact him - or Sigrid. Then, to his amusement, she sighed.
‘My children disappoint me.’
Thrash stifled a laugh, quickly swapping out the Burning Elemental Stone for the Lesser Soulstone, the potential health benefits more appropriate now. He considered the sword on the counter, resting there as it pulsated. ‘Mush, how many swords can choose their own skills?’
Mush beeped. ‘Very few.’
‘Thought so,’ Thrash noted. He had to uncover more about the sword’s lore. There had to be something that Mush knew - some story or legend that she was keeping from him. He shook in his place, momentarily considering sending a message to his estranged father. The goosebumps on his arms told him what a good idea that was.
His achievement icons were blinking at him, so he filed his thoughts away for later.
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘This Anaconda Don’t’
You have killed a Sewer Serpent.
You’ve turned those slithery sewer serpents into sushi! Hmm… there’s nothing like the taste of something slimy and fishy, darling.
Mummy hopes you’re proud of your handiwork.
Reward: Ring of the Forked Tongue
‘Interesting,’ Thrash said, doing his best to ignore the achievement’s commentary, though the smell of fish filled his nostrils all the same. He took two deep breaths, salt in his mouth, and then looked at the item description.
Ring of the Forked Tongue
Item Rarity: Rare
Commiserations! You have been awarded the Ring of the Forked Tongue.
This ring is fashioned from dark metal, engraved with runes that shift like serpents in the shadows. Sometimes, you can hear faint whispers escaping from it…
With this on, you’ll be able to charm your way through a tight spot, or inflict a venomous sting through your words. Persuasion just got a whole lot deadlier.
Talk dirty, baby.
Effect 1: This title provides an additional 3% boost on your maximum base Charisma.
Effect 2: Once per day you can spit a single venomous word or phrase that deals poison damage over a period of 60 seconds to a single target.
Thrash read through the description, and then reread the effects. ‘A word or phrase that deals poison damage… How does that work, Mush?’
‘Equip the ring,’ Mush instructed She nuzzled Sigrid, acting as though Thrash wasn’t there. ‘They always need direction, darling.’
Thrash rolled his eyes, slipping the ring onto his right thumb. It sized down to fit him, and a prompt appeared on his interface.
You have equipped Ring of the Forked Tongue
Please select a word or phrase - limited to five words.
To activate Effect 2, twist the ring around your finger and choose a target. Speaking your chosen word or phrase will inflict poison damage.
Thrash thought for a short moment. The phrase needed to be something familiar, yet not often spoken. He was immediately leaning toward a defensive choice. He wasn’t a fan of potentially using this against other Adventurers - not in the same way that he likely used to be - but after Chuck, all defensive strategies had to be considered.
Mush whizzed around, remaining as close to Sigrid as possible. She bumped into Thrash’s shoulders, a regular occurance now, his bones rattling on impact. Thrash swore at her, the rusty robot spinning in circles.
‘You’re a nightmare, Mush,’ Thrash said, rubbing his shoulder. ‘Give me some ideas for a phrase, would you?’
‘Would you like some common Earth-based sayings?’
‘Sure,’ Thrash said, curious as to what Mush might consider a common saying.
‘Winter is coming,’ Mush said without hesitation. ‘Mother can you hear me.’
Thrash shook his head. ‘Not quite what I had in mind, Mush.’
‘That’s what she said,’ Mush retorted.
Thrash snorted, but didn’t have time to interject.
‘Mother knows best. Brigwell’s beastly biceps,’ she paused for the briefest moment. ‘Let's get it on. You are about to die -’
‘Mush, take a breath, I’m begging you,’ Thrash said, not knowing whether he should be grinning or grimacing, his face somewhere in between the two. ‘These are absolutely not common Earth sayings.’
‘I’m begging you,’ Mush echoed, mocking his voice. ‘Dirty man-child.’
Thrash swore as the phrases continuously kept coming. He needed something unassuming, something that he could whisper without being noticed. However, his mind was blank.
‘Stop, daddy, stop,’ Mush suddenly said, sounding so much like Sigrid that Thrash thought she was finally speaking outside of combat. Mush seemed to grin on her display screen. ‘Would you like any more options?’
Thrash sighed, patting the descending robot as she landed on the counter. ‘You’re such a pain.’
‘I will destroy you,’ Mush glowered.
Thrash considered for a moment, then grinning at her. ‘That’ll do, Mush. That’ll do.’
Mush beeped angrily, but then settled. ‘I have a way with words.’
‘That you do, Mush.’ He clapped his hands together, speaking the phrase to his interface; I will destroy you. ‘Right - now that that’s done, let's move on, shall we?’
Thrash almost expected an achievement for obtaining a voice-activated object, but alas, his interface was quiet. He sniffed, not wanting Mush to throw another Tinfoil Necklace his way, moving on to the next in his list.
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘The National Average’
You have reached Level 6!
Why reward you for reaching Level 6, you ask? Because 6 is one of the two best numbers… but you’re clever enough to figure that out, aren’t you?
Reward: 6x Gold Pieces
Thrash looked at Mush, raised his eyebrows, and then decided to stay silent.
‘The other number is nine,’ Mush beeped all the same.
‘You know what,’ Thrash said, ‘I kind of figured as much.’
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘An Apple a Day’
You’ve taken your first bite of a juicy apple to restore some health!
They say that an apple a day keeps the doctor at bay. In this instance, it can literally stop you from dying. Great job, kiddo. Mummy approves of your healthy snacking habits.
Reward: 3x Health Apples
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘Penetrate Their Defence’
You’ve defeated a protector of the sewers.
Squids aren’t known for giving up easily - what, with a dozen or so tentacles to support them - so give yourself a pat on the back. Can’t reach? Let me suckle my way over there…
Reward: 3x Squid Ink
Thrash quickly checked the item description for the Squid Ink. Other than its uses in crafting, it didn’t really offer much benefit to him. He chucked them into his inventory, speeding through the next couple of achievements.
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘Real Dungeon Experience’
You’ve earned Dungeon Experience via a descent.
You’ve survived a real descent into the depths and earned Dungeon Experience for it! Look at that Rank, doing all of your work for you.
You’ve tasted the grit of dungeon life now, haven’t you? Let’s hope you still have an appetite for more - Mummy can provide.
Reward: 100x Dungeon Experience Points
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘Amatuer Spellcaster’
You have learned your first spell.
Reward: 5x Shiny Apples
Thrash laughed, reading the short notification again. ‘I’m pretty sure this is how all achievement descriptions should read, Mush - not just the ones that you don’t want to read.’
Mush buzzed angrily. ‘That achievement wasn’t worth my time - nor is it worth anyone’s time. The description is standard.’
Thrash nodded, sarcasm on his tongue. ‘I can see that. It’s missing your maternal touch.’
‘Indeed,’ she said.
Thrash noted his Dungeon Experience. ‘We’re well over three quarters of the way to Rank D now, Mush. So close. Just a few days away, I hope.’
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘The Bonds Deepen’
The Whimpering Sword of Sigrid has learned a new skill.
Look at you and Sigrid - levelling up and unlocking some new moves! Now Mummy expects you to start slicing and dicing with style. No more secretive stabbing now, okay? You’re a big boy.
Reward: You have earned the title 'Bonder of Blades'.
Effect: This title strengthens the connection between Thrash and Sigrid, allowing the sword to channel Thrash's energy to perform a powerful one-time attack that deals extra damage.
NOTE: This title allows for a one-time per combat increase in damage. Additional 50% attack damage.
‘Hah!’ Thrash grinned from ear to ear. ‘That’s an excellent skill, Mush. Absolutely perfect. Sigrid will love it.’
‘Perfection is unattainable,’ Mush said. ‘Unless you are Brigwell. Or Thron the Conqueror.’
Thrash nodded. ‘I’m sure, Mush.’
He moved towards his bed, his mind racing and his eyes heavy. It’d been a long day, and no doubt tomorrow would be just as long. With Pierre on the way, and a Weekly Challenge to complete, he needed his rest.
Slowly, he closed his eyes. ‘Night, Mush.’
‘Goodnight, man-child.’