Thrash landed with a splash. Laughter boomed around him, but he couldn’t yet see where he was. He swore, shooting up to his feet, his arse wet and his legs dripping. Each time that he’d entered a dungeon, he’d been attacked, and this little girl had just charged ahead without a second thought. He shivered as he squeezed as much water as he could from his clothes, trudging over to where the sound of Mary’s laugh originated. Slowly, the dim sewers around him came into view.
‘Nice landing,’ Mary said, her oversized pirate boots the perfect companion for knee-deep water. He could hear her grin as she spoke.
Thrash exhaled sharply, sniffing against the cold. The room around them was large, but compact. The sewer tunnel headed in one direction, as far as he could see, with two raised platforms on either side of the murky water. He inspected as much of the area as he could, noting the lack of exits - a single path ahead of them. A shrieking, wailing sound echoed through the water, undercutting Thrash’s confidence and replacing it with a creeping sense of dread. He shuddered.
‘Mary -’
‘Captain,’ Mary corrected, pointing a small finger at him.
‘Not until you get your ship and survive this dungeon,’ Thrash snapped. ‘You can’t jump ahead like that - you know that you can die, right? Legitimately. They will post your bones back to Mummy and Daddy in a bag, do you understand?’
‘Of course I know that.’ Mary stepped back, glaring at him. ‘Do you think I’m some idiot kid?
‘I think you could be,’ Thrash shot back. ‘You are too low levelled to charge through these floors without help, okay?’
She huffed angrily, her eyes narrowing. ‘You don’t know everything, Thrash. You’re not even an Adventurer anymore.’
Thrash’s anger flared, wishing he could cancel the expedition and send her home. Instead, he took a deep breath and forced the feeling away. ‘No, I’m not. But I learned a lot while I was, and it’s surprising what sticks.’
‘If it stuck so well then you’d still be an Adventurer, right?’ she retorted, her tone sharp and unforgiving.
Smash her in the face, Mush ordered. Tell her the only person that can talk to my boy that way is MUMMY.
Thrash ignored her, a shivering sensation running down his spine. ‘Listen, all I need you to -’
An object slammed into the small of Thrash's back. Time seemed to slow as he watched Mary’s eyes widen, briefly focusing on something near his right ear before she dove away from the shallow water. Thrash’s body was sent flying forwards, directly toward where she’d been standing. He watched helplessly as the wall approached his face, his nose colliding with it with a sickening crack, blood immediately gushing down his lips and chin. His vision swam with stars as the stench of wet eggs and stale gas overwhelmed him. He swore, tears involuntarily streaming from his eyes.
You have received 31 points of damage.
You have 101 health remaining.
It’s a marvel that you’re alive, Mush’s voice said through a message. You talk too much, do you know that?
Thrash heard the sound of Mary’s pistols firing, followed by a crunching noise as the creature behind him screamed in pain. He swerved, his vision obstructed with tears, just in time to see a leaping serpent fly toward him. Sigrid was in his hands in no time, Thrash grasping the sword’s handle, the warmth of her new elemental stone comforting his cold fingers.
Thrash swung, Sigrid slicing the air like butter and knocking the serpent back into the water with ease. However, Thrash noticed small, red text erupt from it, mocking him as it bounced.
13 damage points dealt.
40 health remaining.
Sewer Serpents resist fire damage.
Flames burst from Sigrid’s blade, lighting up the sewers with a red glow as shadows danced across the walls. ‘STOP, DADDY, STOP!’ The sword's shout echoed, making Thrash wince. The sound was so much louder than before. Even Mary froze, her eyes wide as she stared at him from the edge of the water, pistols still aimed downward.
Thrash's heart raced as he spotted the shadow of a serpent beneath the water - back for more - slithering towards Mary with a hefty speed.
‘Jump back!’ Thrash shouted, his voice reverberating through the tunnel. Mary leapt away without hesitation, the serpent striking where she’d stood moments before, missing her by inches. She kicked off of the sewer wall, firing her pistols as she dodged another attack, the serpent spitting at her. She landed beside Thrash, who was already charging forwards, inspecting it as he moved.
Sewer Serpent: Level 2
Type: Sewer Beast
Sewers have been around for a very, very long time. Serpents have been around for even longer, and happen to adore slimy, smelly places.
Over time, these serpents have evolved, turning into a monstrous version of their past selves. These slimy, snake-like creatures slither through the water, blending into the murky environment and striking with venom.
These creatures prefer to fight with their tails, slapping you silly before draining your blood. Take care, now, because Mummy isn’t there to kiss your boo-boos.
‘Did your sword just call you Daddy?’ Mary asked as she dodged another attack.
The serpent lunged again, but this time Thrash was ready. He slashed it with Sigrid, dealing another 15 damage.
‘DADDY! DADDY STOP!’
Thrash cursed under his breath as the serpent took another blast from Mary, her bullets striking the creature in the middle of its long, scaly body before it splashed back into the sewer.
6 damage points dealt.
19 health remaining.
Sigrid’s flames still blazed as Thrash readied his blade. The serpent leapt again, and with a swift slash, he finally finished it off.
‘STOP, DADDY, STOP!’ Sigrid moaned once more.
Thrash’s interface flashed as he received 27 experience points, his achievement icon also updating. He was edging closer to Level 6, Sigrid floating near Level 3. He allowed a breath to escape, not realising he’d been holding it. H’d survived another fight.
As his Passive Healing skill began to tick, he walked towards Mary. ‘You okay?’
The girl leapt up, hooting in victory. ‘That was amazing! You were like, bam, bam, crack! That’s the Thrash I remember - pure instinct.’
Your instincts were not dreadful, Mush agreed. Other than forgetting your Health Apples.
Dammit, Thrash swore. Of course he kept forgetting to heal. Thanks, Mush.
He watched his health increase, pointing Mary towards the serpent. He didn’t want to ignore the loot, but she needed resources and he needed experience and ranks - both of which required other Adventurers. He intended to take full advantage of that.
‘You were awesome,’ he said, almost genuinely. ‘You can loot everything, okay. I’m not sure what these guys drop, but we need to move through this dungeon quickly.’
Mary was already on it. ‘Cool,’ she said, grinning. ‘5x gold pieces, a Mystic Tear, and a copper ore piece! I’m on my way, Black Jack!’
‘Black Jack?’ Thrash asked, raising a brow.
‘The name of my ship,’ Mary said simply, still rifling through the loot. She held up another item, her eyes shining. ‘Look at this.’
Thrash inspected it, but could only see a single line of text.
Golden Tooth
Item Rarity: Uncommon
‘What does it do?’ he asked, gesturing for Mary to follow him.
Golden teeth are utilised by self-conscious gangsters to flaunt their wealth, Mush informed.
‘It adds 33% to my charisma,’ she grinned, already showing off the glinting tooth in her mouth.
Gross, Mush added.
Thrash ignored Mush and nodded approvingly, ‘It looks good. Come on, this floor seems pretty one-directional.’
‘How boring,’ Mary muttered, hopping ahead and trudging across the slimy floor.
‘What does the Mystic Tear do?’ Thrash asked as they walked.
‘Restore mana. Or craft’
Another mana item, Mush, Thrash said. I’ll be a wizard before long.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO INCITE ANGER, Mush messaged back, clearly angry. I AM ABOVE THIS NONSENSE.
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
He snorted. Mary’s pickaxe caught his attention. Is there actually any ore to mine here, Mush? Or are we better off in other dungeons?
Mush replied immediately. This floor is tailored to enemy loot. The pickaxe is quite unnecessary here.
Figures, Thrash grunted.
They continued walking in silence for a moment, Thrash steadying his breath as they reached a crossroads of sorts. The water continued flowing forward, joined by smaller incoming streams from the right and left.
Mary turned to him. ‘I’ll go left, you right?’
Thrash shook his head. ‘Not a chance. Come on, we’ll go left first.’
‘Boring,’ she muttered again, but didn’t argue further. ‘Dennis can handle himself.’
‘Dennis was named less than ten minutes ago,’ Thrash reminded her.
They walked for a moment, the quiet floor amplifying the sound of flowing water, filling Thrash’s ears with a natural calm. He marvelled at how these dungeon floors were constructed, each detail perfectly crafted - the moist bricks, the sticky floors, and the thick, earthy smells that sat heavy in your gut. This floor was a step up from the Caves of the Glade, which felt more like a set from a stage play. After a few moments, they reached a dead-end.
‘Damn,’ Thrash said.
Check your 6 o’clock, Mush suddenly warned.
Thrash spun around, spotting another serpent swimming toward them. He motioned for Mary to handle it while he vaulted across to the other side of the sewer. Within moments, Mary had fired off three shots, while Thrash sliced and dashed through the serpent until it collapsed.
‘Number two!’ Mary exclaimed, voice high and excited. ‘Hold on.’
She quickly looted the creature, finding rewards similar to the first serpent, though no golden tooth this time. They continued on, checking the other direction before heading back down the primary sewer tunnel. When they reached the staircase, Mary snorted.
‘That’s it?’ she scoffed. ‘I thought this would be way harder.’
Thrash raised his brows. Not if my experience has anything to say about it.
Stop whining, Mush said dryly.
‘The further we go, the harder it’ll get,’ Thrash said to Mary. ‘Rewards improve as we descend, so shall we?’
Deeper is always better, darling.
Thrash shuddered, Mary eagerly leading them toward the staircase.
----------------------------------------
Floor Two was identical to the first. Thrash defeated another three serpents, the last of which was guarding the staircase to the next floor. A shower of notifications flashed in Thrash’s vision, signalling a series of achievements, most related to levelling up. Sigrid had earned a skill choice as well, but unlike Mary, Thrash couldn’t access it yet. He did, however, take a quick look at his stat gains.
Level: 6
Overall Stats:
Health Points: 132 - 144
Mana Points: 70 - 85
Charisma: 50.2 - 55.2
Strength: 18 - 21
Dexterity: 25.3 - 29.7
Intelligence: 25.3 - 30.8
‘Level 6, Mush!’ Thrash exclaimed. ‘And Sigrid’s Level 3!’
Commiserations! Mush replied.
Thrash quickly checked Sigrid’s stats. Now at Level 3, her damage had risen to 16. That also meant that she would now know another word, and he was in no rush to find out what it was.
Mary coughed beside him. ‘Mary,’ she said, and then quickly added. ‘Captain Mary.’
Thrash frowned. ‘What?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘You keep calling me Mush.’
‘Oh,’ Thrash said, running a hand through his sweaty hair. ‘Sorry. Mush is my AI.’
Her eyes brightened. ‘That makes way more sense. I’ve reached Level 2. Got any advice? I have a skill choice.’
‘Nice work!’ Thrash said, nodding towards the staircase. ‘You want my advice?’
'Sure,’ Mary said with a smirk. ‘You’re more of a dud than I thought Thrash the Brash would be, but you’re still Thrash.’
Thrash hesitated, conflict churning within him. He was Thrash, and he’d lived the life of an Adventurer - that was true. However, if his memories hadn’t been torn from him, he doubt he would’ve given Mary a second thought - let alone have helped her. His brain had been hardwired to that life, but now, he was a Dungeon Master. He didn’t have those memories, and the lesson’s that he’d learned so far had shifted, tailored purely to survival. What could he offer?
‘It wasn’t a trick question,’ Mary interrupted, hands on her hips. ‘I’m sure the serpents are more than happy recuperating while you take your time. It’s literally two skill paths - Sharp Shooter or Cutlass Carver.’
Thrash quickly refocused. ‘Sorry. I take it the first offers an improvement on your pistols, the second your sword?’
‘Cutlass, but yes,’ Mary corrected, an obnoxious hand gesturing in the air. ‘And yeah, with boosts to accuracy, strength, and crit rates for each.’
Thrash wondered whether or not Mary was being polite, trying to gauge her expression. She clearly had a preference. ‘You prefer using your pistols, no?’
Mary shrugged. ‘It’s early. You’ve done most of the close up stuff, shooting seemed good while you were getting whipped around the sewer. You stink, by the way.’
Thrash sniffed his forearm, grimacing. ‘I guess I have, huh. You’ve made some good calls. Do you need to choose a skill now?’
She nodded, ‘It wants me to confirm. I do like the pistols.’
Thrash thought back to some of Mush’s advice. ‘Skills often have a way of coming back around, so don’t think it’ll be lost forever. Plus, without a sword that second skill is kind of useless.’
Mary shrugged. ‘Agreed. That’s all I needed.’
Her pistols shimmered, their wooden handles taking on a glittering bronze tint. She swirled them in her hands, grinning. ‘Cool. Better stats, and the dual-wielding is even more accurate. Let’s test them out, shall we?’
Thrash nodded. ‘Do the honours, Captain.’
She saluted, proceeding to the staircase. ‘Right y’ar, mate.’
Before he could blink, Thrash’s boots suddenly splashed into the cool water of Floor Three. His vision was hazy, and before his eyes could fully adjust a shift in temperature swept over him, his skin erupting in goosebumps. He felt something long and slimy slither up past his submerged boot, wrapping tightly around his knees.
Shit, he thought, panic rising. Not again.
The sewer came into focus, Mary standing to his left with her eyes wide, pistols locked onto a massive creature ahead.
Thrash followed her gaze and landed on a squid-like creature. It was the size of a monster-truck, its mouth as wide as a tractor wheel and fully lined with rows of sharp, pointy teeth. It filled the tunnel, its bulk crashing against the walls and sending tremors of sludgy water surging toward them, the stench causing Mary to gag.
‘Give me a break,’ Thrash half-begged to no one in particular, inspecting the creature. It was Level 4, with 85 health points.
Blackwater Sentry: Level 4
Type: Sewer Beast
There are endless variations of large, tentacled creatures across the universe, each one as vile and disturbing as the last. The Blackwater Sentry is not an exception.
This beast is as large as the tunnels it lurks in, so don't bother trying to sneak by. It has the eyes and ears of a narcissistic mother desperate to prove that the reason you’re sneaking out is to smoke some herb.
The Blackwater Sentry’s attack strategy is straightforward: it’ll wrap you up in its slimy tentacles and drag you down, doing its best to drown you in the worst possible way. They can also take the role of the dominatrix, sitting on your face until the breath leaves your body.
Hmmm… Extra-saucy.
It wasn’t a boss; Thrash’s gloves hadn’t alerted him as such. However, it was big. Really big. He glanced down at the slimy appendage coiled around his leg, simultaneously trying to step back from the looming monster, heartbeat rising. His eyelids narrowed as he inspected it, realising what was holding him just as the monster ahead smashed a slimy green tentacle against the tunnel wall. He glanced at Mary just as his arms shot up involuntarily.
‘Oh shit -’
The tentacle yanked hard, pulling him off of his feet and slamming his back into the freezing water. The impact stung like ice, knocking the wind out of him with a punch. Thrash’s lungs tightened as the frigid water splashed over his face, his health ticking down as he was waterboarded. He thrashed, gasping for air, his vision flickering between the murky ceiling and the blurred shadow of the monstrous squid looming overhead, dominating the tunnel. The creature’s tentacle coiled tighter around his leg, dragging him closer to the spiralling figure.
Trash tried to call out, choking on water. ‘Help!’
I don’t swim, Mush replied dryly.
Thrash’s chest burned as his mind raced for options. He could hear Mary’s footsteps as she pounded closer, her pistols firing off shots one after the other. His health fell with each passing second, dropping to 100, and then to 97, and then 95. Desperately, he managed to grasp Sigrid, pointing her towards the tentacle. The blade scratched it, barely cutting into the rubbery flesh, but the creature only squeezed harder, its pull unrelenting. Thrash was moments away from being swallowed whole. His pulse pounded in his ears as water flooded his nose, his body reacting instinctively, fighting for survival.
Through the murk, he saw a shadow - Mary - dodging flailing tentacles as her pistols blazed. Each shot sent muffled vibrations through the water. One of her bullets tore into the tentacle binding him, and for a moment, the grip around his leg loosened. Thrash seized the opportunity, yanking himself free with a desperate kick, his head bursting above the surface, gulping in sweet, sewer-air. His health was down to 53 of 144.
‘Move!’ Mary’s voice bounded through the tunnel.
But the beast wasn’t finished. Another tentacle lashed toward Thrash, slamming into his chest and sending him sprawling backward, out of the shallow water. He landed on the slimy floors with a jolt, sliding until he collided with the wall.
You have received 18 points of damage.
You have 35 health remaining.
Thrash groaned, lifting his head just in time to see another tentacle whipping towards him. Goddammit - I need more speed, he muttered, spitting up water and bile as he struggled to pull air into his burning lungs
Mush can recommend coffee, Mush said. Careful, now.
Mary fired off two more shots, her pistol blasts echoing in the sewer. ‘I could use some brash, Thrash!’ she shouted over the chaos, her voice tight with adrenaline.
Thrash refused to be knocked unconscious again. He quickly ingested a Health Apple, boosting his health back to 85. He activated his One with the Foe skill, turning invisible to the mob. It felt as though he’d been covered in sticky clingfilm, the light around his body distorted and hazy. He watched for a moment, the monster finally throwing its weight at Mary. She jumped backwards, firing another shot to bring its health down to 40 of 85.
Thrash’s body trembled, his legs like jelly. His muscles ached, and his breath came in ragged bursts, but he wasn’t finished. He had to end it.
‘Keep shooting,’ he growled, wading forward through the sludge, Sigrid clutched in a death grip.
Mary leapt, attempting to clear the sewer river, but a tentacle caught her leg mid-air. She yelped as she was yanked into the water, the creature gathering momentum, ready to crush her. Thrash sprinted along the damp wall, clearing the remaining tentacles and landing with a silent thud behind the beast. He could hear Mary screaming, but her health was holding, only dropping from minor damage so far. The squid’s pulsating body glistened with slick, black mucus, pouring from half a dozen holes that Mary’s pistols had created.
Thrash slashed.
‘STOP DADDY!’ Sigrid screamed, dealing another 16 damage.
Thrash swung again, body shaking. Mary’s screams halted as the beast’s body seemed to reform on the spot, twisting and shuddering until its gaping maw was facing Thrash, rows of monstrous teeth threatening him from above. Thrash swung again.
‘DADDY, PLEASE DADDY!’ Sigrid wailed, landing another hit.
With a final burst of strength, Thrash drove Sigrid deep into the roof of the creature’s mouth, twisting the blade with all his strength.
‘PLEASE DADDY, STOP!’
The squid shuddered violently, its tentacles flailing before its body collapsed with a deafening crash. Its monstrous form slumped into the sludge, letting out a final, echoing wail. Silence fell over the tunnel, broken only by the soft drip of water and Thrash’s ragged breathing. An achievement icon appeared in his interface, Thrash also earning 49 experience points.
Panting, soaked in water and blood, Thrash stood still, his health slowly recovering. Sigrid glowed faintly in his hand, red flames flickering like dying embers. Mary approached cautiously, her pistols still aimed at the slowly-disintegrating beast.
‘Well,’ she said, her voice slightly breathless. ‘That was intense.’
Thrash managed a weak smile. ‘Yeah. Let’s not do that again.’
Mary waved her pistols in the air. ‘Oh, we’re absolutely doing that again.’
She looted the creature and then started walking down the tunnel, Thrash’s health nearly at full. He sighed, following her.
You follow like a dog, Mush noted. Please stop, daddy.
Thrash swore to himself, sheathing Sigrid as Mary turned to face him with a confused look. Then, like a madman, he buckled over laughing.