Thrash had slept poorly. After his visitors left and his interface had returned, he’d decided to distract his mind and listen to Mush, opening up the Crafting menu. Inside, he found a handful of recipes - all of them requiring stone, the only real resource he had in his inventory. His excessive amount of Slime appeared to be relatively useless for now.
He could’ve kicked himself. There was so much he could've used earlier in his journey. One option was a Stone Sword - basic but serviceable - and one that Pierre would’ve greatly appreciated. Thrash figured Pierre would find it funny now that he had his Long-Handled Hoe, but Thrash still felt embarrassed that he hadn’t even thought to check the crafting options earlier. Though he was making progress, he couldn’t help but imagine how much more competent someone like Doren would be in his position. The thought annoyed him to no end.
There was also a one-time-use Stone Trap, deployable in the dungeon, offering a 15% chance to immobilise an enemy. This device was going to be helpful across almost all of his dungeon floors, Thrash thinking especially of the Okaenslug’s heavy charge attack. He suppressed a curse as he realised how difficult he’d made things for himself so far.
The only armour available was a stone chestplate, which increased physical defence by 3% but lowered dexterity by 5% - a stat that he didn’t want to sacrifice. Additionally, he could craft decorative items like the gravestone Mush had recommended, an absurdly expensive stone bench, and even a stone rug.
Using his Stone Pieces, Thrash crafted a simple gravestone for Chuck, feeling a small sense of amusement as he placed it behind the bloodstain on the wall. An achievement chimed, and shortly after, he drifted off to sleep, waking eight hours later to Mush’s quiet singing.
She’s singing about Mama again, Thrash groaned to himself before his eyes opened.
‘I am Mama, I shall sing,’ Mush declared musically from above him, her elongated hands clasping Sigrid as she pranced around the cave.
Thrash peeked through his heavy eyelids and shook his head at the sight. ‘What are you doing Mush?’
‘Sigrid needed exercise,’ she responded immediately. ‘Mush is teaching her how to warm up.’
‘That’s more than you taught me,’ Thrash grumbled as he sat up and stretched.
‘I taught you everything you know,’ Mush retorted.
‘So, nothing?’ Thrash said, then squirming at the self-burn. ‘Speaking off - you kept this from me on purpose, didn’t you?’
Thrash opened Mush’s interface for the first time, causing her to buzz in shock and horror above him.
‘HOW DID YOU LEARN THIS?’ she shrieked. ‘MUSH FEELS VIOLATED.’
Thrash winced as his eardrums nearly burst.
‘REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MUSH’S INNARDS!’
‘Oh, shut up,’ Thrash said, focusing on the interface in front of him. It had an old, retro look, with faded colours and dull text. It gave the impression that it had once been sleek, but had deteriorated over time. The top-left corner flickered like a glitchy, damaged screen, with a faint crack spreading across it. Two tabs were available to him at the moment, but one was locked. The first, ‘AI Power’, was the option to turn Mush off. He hovered over it for a second too long.
‘NEVER TURN MUSH OFF,’ she bounced into him. ‘YOU CAN ONLY TURN MUMMY ON!’
‘Gross, Mush,’ Thrash said, moving to the second tab labelled ‘Bestiary’. ‘Why is this locked?’
Mush landed with a thud on the counter, glaring down at him from above. ‘You’ve only encountered four types of enemies; you require five to unlock the bestiary.’
Thrash grunted in frustration. ‘And when were you going to tell me about this?’
‘Upon enemy number five,’ Mush replied. ‘However, since being violated, Mush now has no need to explain. Mush will never help again. You have ruined all trust.’
Still feeling groggy, Thrash rolled his eyes and ignored her. He stood, stretched, and reviewed his interface, opening his first crafting achievement.
Commiserations! You have earned the achievement ‘Stoner Stylist’
You have crafted your first item.
You’ve crafted your first stone item! Sure, it’s basic, and sure, nobody’s impressed. But hey, you’re making progress... right?
Reward: A vague sense of accomplishment.
Mummy’s only joking.
Reward: 10x Stone Pieces
Thrash snorted with amusement, letting the stone move into his inventory. It was just enough to make a stone sword, though it would leave him with nothing left. Stone was rather cheap on the Vendor Exchange, so there was no rush to gather more, and eventually, he’d have hundreds and hundreds of pieces. He just needed to make sure he had something to offer any visitors who might show up. He needed to provide a weapon of sorts.
Mush, apparently calmed down, beeped at him. ‘You expect a visitor today?’
Thrash rubbed his face, trying to wake up. ‘According to Una and Zorina. I need to check out that new dungeon, actually.’
‘Brigwell liked the sewers,’ Mush noted. ‘He’d return wet, sticky, and glistening.’
Thrash shuddered. ‘Lovely, Mush.’
He walked to the stairs, reading through the description of the new dungeon.
Dungeon Option 5: Sewers of the Empire
Welcome to Sewers of the Empire, a dungeon where noses are not recommended!
This low-level dungeon is perfect for new adventurers eager to brave murky canals and labyrinthine sewer tunnels. Wade through stagnant, smelly waters, dodge questionable dripping ceilings, and tread carefully amongst drowned imperials. Don’t forget to plug all of your holes – it’s going to get wet!
These waterlogged floors are a treasure trove for levelling and resource gathering.
Hold your breath, adventurers – this is one dungeon that won’t soon be forgotten!
CAUTION: Enemy levels will adjust based on the party leader’s experience.
‘Sounds fun,’ Thrash said. ‘Do you know what kind of loot’s offered here, Mush?’
‘Mush cannot recall,’ she replied dismissively.
Thrash walked back to the counter, hopping over it and gathering a handful of items from the barrels to add to his inventory.
‘That’s workplace theft,’ Mush chided. ‘Mush is appalled.’
Ignoring her, Thrash opened his interface and messaged Pierre.
1 second ago: Thrash: Hey buddy. Hope you’re doing well. New dungeon here - Sewers of the Empire. However, could use your help, a new weekly challenge is available in another dungeon. Need to kill. Visit tomorrow?
Satisfied with his plans, Thrash nodded. He had no doubt he’d be reaching Rank C soon. A familiar chime echoed through the room.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
An Adventurer is on their way. Please close all interface windows and await arrival.
‘Perfect,’ Thrash said, quickly grabbing Sigrid and tucking her into his inventory. Mush squealed in protest, buzzing around his waist for a moment before zooming back to her ceiling corner. Thrash glanced at the reply from Pierre.
1 second ago: Pierre: Thrash - how are yer? Sewers don’t interest me, happy to join yer quest, though. Me and my hoe are ready to go. See yer tomorrow.
Thrash grinned as the portal shone, a figure stepping out. He was taken aback as the figure emerged, revealing a young girl dressed in the clothes of a pirate - albeit a cheap, costume-store version. She looked around, her round face breaking into a wide smile before her gaze landed on Thrash. She stepped back, almost straight into the portal.
‘Holy shitballs,’ the girl exclaimed. Her voice was small but fierce, carrying the arrogant confidence typical of most teenagers. ‘Thrash? You’re here? Oh my God!’
She leapt over to the counter, leaning across it and staring at him with utter enthusiasm.
I do not like this girl, Mush said, buzzing. Her energy is inauthentic.
You don’t like her because she knows me, Thrash replied, smiling down at the young girl and offering his hand.
‘Welcome to Starr Eternal, Mines for the Everyday Hero.’
The girl grabbed his hand with an unexpected strength, nearly pulling his shoulder out of its socket as she yanked his face down to hers, his back cracking in the process.
‘Ouch -’ he started, his body contorting.
‘Whoa,’ she said in awe, poking his chest. ‘You’re like… a tiny, squishy version of you. What happened? I used to watch you all of the time!’
Thrash pulled himself away, irritation tingling under his skin as the girl leapt up to the counter, swinging her legs over it and settling directly in front him. Mush descended, but the girl ignored her completely.
Thrash inspected her quickly, feeling a little flustered.
Mary: Level 1
Race: Human
Class: Pirate
The young pirate class Adventurer looked about sixteen, full of bravado and confidence. Her oversized pirate hat sat crookedly on her head, with a tattered red bandana barely holding it in place. Her long, loose-fitting coat looked as though it had been pulled from a Halloween costume, and her boots clinked as she swung her legs - clearly far too heavy and too large for her.
Thrash glanced at the two massive pistols hanging awkwardly from her waist. ‘How long have you been an Adventurer?’
‘Since today!’ she exclaimed, practically vibrating with energy. ‘I got my Starr Chip yesterday. My dad freaked, but Mom said I should ‘follow my dreams’.’ She made exaggerated air quotes, rolling her eyes.
Thrash nodded slowly. ‘You seem… young, Mary. Did you get any training?’
She rolled her eyes like a pro. ‘You’re not Thrash - you sound like my dad. Wait - Dad? Is that you? Did you follow me here?’
Hah! Mush exclaimed to Thrash. You are now a father. Mummy can help when she acts out, darling. The trick with girls is to -
Thrash swiped her away, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. ‘It’s not often kids are allowed into the Starr Galaxy, especially without a sponsor.’
The girl flipped him off and spat on the ground. ‘I’m sixteen, dickhead. I’m old enough.’
Why does everyone spit?! Thrash swore at Mush, groaning inwardly.
Swallowing is hard, Mush replied in a deadpan tone.
‘Duly noted,’ Thrash said, trying to smile at the girl. ‘You’re more than welcome here, Mary, don’t worry.’
She squirmed, visibly uncomfortable. ‘Captain, if you please.’
Thrash snorted. ‘Captain? At Level 1? Do you have a ship?’
‘Yeah, Captain’ Mary reiterated, swinging around and jumping back to the floor, walking toward the stairs. ‘That’s why I’m here, duh. I need a ship, and to get a ship, I need a ton of gold, copper, and iron.’
Her cocky grin was almost too familiar, a mirror of Thrash’s own wild youth. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of recognition.
‘I like this one - Sewers of the Empire. It sounds gross!’ She turned back to him, suddenly serious. ‘By the way, we all thought you were dead.’
Thrash winced slightly. ‘Not dead, no. Just… diversifying.’
Thankfully, Mush stayed quiet, sparing him from further embarrassment.
‘Boring,’ Mary said, stretching her arms dramatically before giving a mock yawn. Her eyes narrowed. ‘Level 5? A Dungeon Master? That’s lame.’
‘Lamer than Level One?’ he shot back, instantly regretting how childish it sounded.
She burst into laughter. ‘I started like an hour ago. I’ll be double your level by tomorrow. Shouldn’t you be, like, way higher?’
Thrash waved her off. ‘Yeah, well, something went wrong. We’re working on it.’
‘What went wrong?’ she asked, poking her nose into Mush’s cubby. Mush buzzed down, ready to defend her space, but Mary was already backing off, uninterested. ‘Actually, I don’t care. When can we go down?’
Thrash sighed, rubbing his temple. ‘Soon. What else do you have, besides those pistols?’
The girl shrugged. ‘Nothing. This is it.’
‘Any gold?’
‘Nope,’ she grinned proudly. ‘I’m as fresh as a baby.’
Can I give her some Health Apples for free? Thrash asked Mush.
You have terrible business sense, Mush scoffed. All sponsored items have to be purchased.
Thrash passed her one of the old pickaxes, considering what else he could offer the girl. However, his options were limited. ‘Okay,’ he said, ‘I have some apples for healing, but I can’t just give them away, so you’re going to have to listen to me down there. Here, I’ll set up a party.’
Mush buzzed loudly. ‘Mush recommends that the small child leads the party.’
Mary glowered at Mush, clearly sensitive about her age. But then she caught on to what Mush was suggesting. Her face lit up, eyes darting across whatever interface she had access to. Thrash waited, glancing at Mush.
Why, Mush? That cannot be a good idea.
YOU ARE UNTRUSTING, Mush shouted. You outlevel her; remember the cautions of each dungeon.
Thrash reviewed the dungeon description again, and sure enough, it said: enemy levels will adjust based on the party leader’s experience.
You have been invited to a party.
Party leader: Mary
Party Name: Captain, my Captain
Thrash smiled, accepting the invite. ‘Can you share a quest with me as well?’
Mary was silent for a moment as she figured out the process. ‘I don’t have anything to offer as a reward right now.’
That’s going to be a problem with Level 1 Adventurers, Thrash mentioned to Mush.
Mush gave a shrug of sorts. Mush recommends ranking up, then.
Working on it, Thrash said.
Mary held a finger up. ‘Wait - I can offer a percentage of gold found. How much do you reckon we’ll get?’
Thrash considered this. ‘Depends on how far you want to go, I guess.’
‘Do you guess, or know?’ Mary poked at her chin. ‘I can get a beginner ship for 30 gold - and depending on what we find down there, another 30 at least is needed for materials.’
Mary waved her hands, batting her own question away, obviously inpatient. ‘10% sounds fair.’
Thrash snorted, but turned the motion into a sniff. ‘I can work with that.’
You will receive 5 gold if she obtains 50, Mush informed. Meagre.
Thrash rolled his eyes. It’s not about that, Mush.
BEDROOM, MAN-CHILD!
Thrash received a prompt:
Quest Update: Escort Please
New pirate, Mary, has requested your support. Escort them through the dungeon until they are satisfied.
Reward: Mary offers 10% of gold pieces gathered.
Accept quest?
Thrash cannot satisfy anyone, Mush said, chirping in Thrash’s head.
Shut up, Mush.
Thrash accepted the quest and then pulled Mummy’s Tea Set into view. He poured out two mugs, passing one to Mary.
‘Drink up,’ he said, downing his own hot water. His stats adjusted. ‘Dammit, an intelligence boost.’
Mary frowned, sniffing at the water before drinking it herself. Her eyes widened. ‘Whoa! My strength went up by, like, 15%. These guns are gonna be menaces! Oh, wait -’ she grinned, flicking through her interface. ‘There. This one is called Dennis, this one Gnasher.’
Thrash barked a laugh. ‘I like it.’ He tried to think of anything else that might help. ‘So, Sewers of the Empire, right?’
‘Yeah, like I said an hour ago,’ Mary said. ‘Come on - hurry it up. Are you always this slow? It’s so boring!’
Thrash held his temper, looking again at Mush. He had no idea what to expect in the sewers. Anything I should know before heading down?
Don’t die, Mush said simply. And avoid the Kraken.
Thrash jolted. Kraken?
But before Mush could answer, his body jolted. He barely had time to glance at the stairs before Mary grinned and selected the dungeon. As a member of her party, Thrash’s body caught up with his thoughts.
‘Shit,’ he muttered as everything went dark.