Chapter 86: Fight the fear (Third part)
“What are you doing here on your own so late at night?”
“Trying to sleep.”
“You can’t sleep here, your parents will be worried,” the young girl replied with a voice betraying her concern and worries.
“My parents aren’t in this town.”
The young girl frowned hearing my words.
“How is it possible? It’s an Advanced town, a kid can’t come here alone.”
“I just arrived yesterday.”
Seeing that I wasn’t willing to continue my explanation, she dropped the matter and asked me in a kind voice.
“I’m Alianelle. What’s your name?”
“Sillath.”
“It’s cold tonight, why don’t you come with me to have a good meal and a good rest in a real bed?”
She smiled as she extended her jade-like hand toward me. Her face was pretty and childish at the same time. Her bright smile revealing her white teeth was so pure, so devoid of falsehood that it was enough to make me dazed for a couple of seconds.
I smiled at her before replying.
“Thank you but it’s not necessary. I have to leave early tomorrow.”
The gentle smile on her thin lips immediately disappeared. She puffed up her cheeks and walked toward me with large steps. If it wasn’t a young girl coming toward me like an angry beast, I probably would have already put some distance between us.
However, I couldn’t sense the slightest amount of threat from her.
I allowed her to forcibly take my hand to pull me toward her. Her smooth white hand was small but still larger than mine. She was also a good head taller than me.
“Don’t be shy, I won’t eat you. Come with me, I can’t let a kid sleep outside just beside my house!” She forcefully exclaimed.
This was my first encounter with Alianelle and the first act of kindness she showed me.
I accepted her offer and soon after, I also accepted the money from her father to send the letter I needed to alert my family.
I wonder when it started.
When did I begin to consider her as someone special?
Maybe it was at this moment, from the very beginning.
Maybe it was much later.
However, one thing was sure: I never regretted it.
Not when I was willing to confront a Ryunno clan member; not when I had to face off against Jazor to save her and not even when I was ready to give up my life on that hill the day her long slumber started.
I had seen her heart and couldn’t abandon her.
Even now, when everyone around was looking at Jazor’s shaky finger pointed at her
Even in that moment when everyone around me was looking at her with pity as if they all immediately understood what Jazor’s gesture meant for her.
Jazor’s following words confirmed their thoughts and my fears.
“Her mana is disrupting mine. As long as she releases so much chaotic mana, it will prevent me from using my magic on her,” he explained while trying to catch his breath.
“Then it’s simple. We leave her here,” suddenly declared Ilan without an ounce of hesitation.
“You!” I started, ready to defend my comrade, but I was interrupted by his fed-up voice before I had the time to say any other word.
“Open your eyes, Sillath! She’s already dead and we will all be if you insist on trying to save her,” he bellowed with authority and a familiar cold determination.
“Don’t talk like that!” I rebutted him while feeling my heart speed up and my cheeks reddening. “Look at her! I’m sure she will wake up soon!”
Although my words could be true just by looking at her apparent healthy skin and her face more peaceful than before, I still knew instantly that this wobbly argument born of my own feeling of powerlessness would not convince him.
“And by the time she does, we will all be long dead!” he screamed in outrage, not bothering to hide his pent-up feelings I knew he had hidden deep within him all along our journey.
“Face it. You tried your best to save her. You risked your life and ours more time than I can remember for this doll and her useless father, but you need to put an end to your disillusions. There is no saving her and you’re simply putting all of us in danger!”
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, not sure how I wanted to counter his argument. Although I didn’t want to admit it, a part of me I didn’t want to recognize knew he was right.
“Maybe we could find another solution,” started to mediate Walmir.
“If we do, we better do it fast,” suddenly added Jazor while pointing at the growing ranks of animals slowly overcoming their carefulness after Ilan's last assault. Literally, dozens of different species were standing next to each other with us as their only target, while ignoring their basic instincts.
Whether they were primitive animals with fangs, horns, or claws as their only weapon, or other more evolved species preparing their natural abilities or their magic, they all had their eyes fixed on us, waiting for an opening, a signal to tell them that the time to attack had come.
With each passing second, Alianelle’s chaotic mana was attracting more animals.
We were all aware of this simple truth. Even Himara, nestled in her brother’s arm, was shaking from sheer fear because she knew that her brother’s steel-like hair surrounding them in a protective cocoon proper to their species would never be enough.
However, despite our urgent need, none of my companions offered a better solution. After all this time facing dangers together, we knew each other's abilities, but I still had the faint hope that someone still had an ace up their sleeve to save us.
However, the growing noise of the beasts surrounding us wasn’t broken by anyone.
There wasn’t any solution to hope from any of my companions anymore.
An especially violent roar among the crowd of beasts broke our now silent argument and made panic rise in my heart.
We were running out of time.
“Don’t let her cause our downfall, Sillath!” finally roared Ilan not bothering to hide the pleading look in his eyes.
None of my companions had anything to say to contradict him.
The rage I had felt didn’t manifest itself this time when I saw their guilty silence.
Shame had replaced it for considering his proposal for even a fleeting moment.
“I know it’s too hard for you, so let me do it. Let me carry this sin for you, so we can all survive!”
His words were cold and cruel, but reasonable in our situation.
Maybe I could have let them convince me before.
However, I had made peace with my choice long ago.
My answer was already absolute.
“Her fate will not be different from mine,” I simply declared inflexibly.
A heavy silence settled between us after these few words leaving no place for negotiation.
“If you can’t give up on her, I will do it for you, young friend!” suddenly exclaimed Ilan with a voice that sent shivers down my spine.
Faster and more ruthlessly than any of us could have guessed, Ilan summoned a slash of water from the tip of his weapon directly aimed at Alianelle’s throat. Himara only had the time to scream in fear and surprise as the magic crossed the few meters separating us in an instant making all kinds of reactions vain.
However, my senses once more proved superior. Before his magic was completely released, I felt the mana gathering on the tip of his blade.
My right forearm covered with earth intercepted the attack and dispersed it just before it could reach my friend.
With eyes that could kill alone, I used my wind magic to jump a few meters back while carrying Alianelle.
“Ilan!”
“Stop, that!”
Walmir and Jazor’s respective screams put an immediate end to our confrontation before things could escalate any further.
With clenched fists and gritted teeth, I had trouble registering what had just happened.
If I had reacted just a second later, Alianelle would have had her entire head cut off and no amount of regeneration would have been able to change anything.
Worse, the release of his magic was the signal that all the beasts driven mad by the ambient mana had been waiting for.
In a terrifying mix of roars and screams, the horde finally charged forward to tear us apart.
Without another word or one more attempt to kill my friend, Ilan unceremoniously let go of Paul who heavily fell to the ground and turned around to face this imminent threat.
Even faced with this calamity, I didn’t want to give up on Alianelle. However, I couldn’t let every one of them bear the weight of my choice with me.
“Give me five minutes. If I can’t calm Alianelle’s mana by then, just go without us.”
“What?” immediately replied Ilan dumbfounded.
“If I can’t do that I will buy you enough time to flee with Jazor’s magic,” I repeated.
“What about you?” interjected Walmir.
His thin sword was already in his hand while his familiar small spheres of water were quickly rotating around him, ready to welcome the incoming assault and dearly defend his life.
“I will stay behind and try my luck with the sky.”
Among all the people here, I was the only one able to fly. A very useful ability to have especially for scooting. It also allowed me to have an edge against many of my opponents which made me realize that the flying species were much rarer than the land-based ones.
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A quick look at the horde of monsters slowly building up their speed was enough to notice that this group was the same in this aspect. If I was alone, I was confident that I would be able to escape. Taking Alianelle with me would be much more dangerous, but with a bit of luck, it could be done.
However, even if I managed to survive on my own while caring for an unconscious girl, finding the group again would prove to be a challenge, but it was still a better alternative than simply giving up on her.
With magic gathering on his respective weapons, Ilan didn’t turn around to answer.
“You have five minutes,” he simply whispered.
The crude slash of his short axe that gave birth to a raging tornado violently hit the crowd of animals and put an immediate stop to their advance.
I ignored Jazor's concerned gaze and knelt beside Alianelle to do my work.
The growls, roars, cries of pain, and noises of magic competing in deadliness with one another were put to the back of my mind.
Without any restraint this time, I gave her as much mana as I could.
Was I right or simply delusional?
This question stayed in the back of my head all along, louder, and even more despairing, than all the chaos that was happening around me.
Oblivious to my doubts and fears, Alianelle continued to absorb my mana like a sponge.
After a couple of minutes, the mana around her became denser but less chaotic. In the same way, the pained look on her face lessened finally filling my heart with relief.
*Bam*
A spear of earth nearly skewered me and broke my concentration. The sudden attack that landed just next to me completely escaped my notice and almost made my heart leap out of my chest.
More than a dozen others were fired in my direction but were this time intercepted by Ilan’s wind magic.
With sweaty palms and a heart-racing uncontrollably in my chest, I almost failed to hear Ilan’s words.
“Time’s up, Sillath!”
Ilan's declaration had an air of absoluteness in it. A single glance at my comrades desperately trying to repel the unending wave of animals all around was enough to make me realize that he was right.
Despite all my efforts and the risks they had taken for me, I had failed.
I was sure I had found the right solution, but I had no way to know how long it would take for her mana to finally settle.
And my companions couldn't buy me any more time.
I let go of Alianelle’s hand and at the same time of any hope I had to put an end to her unconscious rampage preventing our escape.
I stood up and made my way forward while gathering my mana for the imminent confrontation.
I ignored Jazor’s words when he retreated.
Did he try to change my mind?
Ilan’s last large-scale attack before his retreat prevented me from correctly hearing him, but it didn’t matter.
I had failed and couldn’t back down from my responsibilities.
I buried the frustration threatening to overwhelm me deep inside to make way for a much more useful cold resolve. The will to give them enough time to flee with the unshakable determination to save Alianelle despite everything.
With Jazor’s magic starting to activate behind, cold air started to gather around me as I prepared one of my strongest magic to prevent anyone from interrupting them.
However, a simple whimper stopped me in my tracks.
Their massive heads hung low, the two Vrapy whose fate was to stay behind, had let out this noise so unfamiliar from such proud creatures. Even confronted with attacks from all sides, they had always given their best to face our enemies and lead us to safety.
Just yesterday, I would have never imagined that these mighty animals could emit such noise or show such a submissive attitude with their eyes darting all around and their tails anxiously sweeping the ground.
The only time I had seen them do that was outside the devastated camp we just left.
The realization of what it could mean made my concentration waver.
A mistake that could have proven fatal if the horde a few hundred meters away had not suddenly stopped their assault.
The situation had changed in an instant.
From a difficult to describe chaos with roars of beasts and magic all around to a cold, but heavy silence threatening to overwhelm me.
Even Jazor’s magic to escape was interrupted.
Was he unable to use it or had he simply canceled it when he saw all the animals halt their assault?
Things had changed too quickly to have the leisure to ask him, but the confused look on his face was the only answer I needed.
Only Alianelle’s mana, still released at a frightening pace, was the same.
However, even this temptation that had incited all these different species to relentlessly chase and attack us didn’t seem enough this time. One after the other, the once crazed animals turned around without a single look in our direction.
They chased us for so long without much regard for their safety to finally leave us alone on this battlefield filled with the burned or mutilated corpses of their brethren. I should be relieved seeing this impossible outcome, but just like my comrades anxiously watching all around, I knew that relief was the last emotion any of us should be feeling right now.
No free miracles existed on those lands after all.
So, who or what was responsible for this?
I closed my eyes and entered the world of mana to detect a foreign presence, anything that could answer this question and explain this impossible situation.
However, neither the cold magic ring on my finger nor my usually absolute sense was able to detect anything.
Nothing hinted at the presence of someone or something near us, but none of us could disregard the reaction from all these animals.
Silently my companions rejoined me with their weapons raised, their senses more alert than I had ever seen them and with probably the same thoughts currently plaguing their minds.
Something was very wrong.
The surrounding temperature got significantly lower, but a single silent shake of my head was enough to make them realize that I wasn’t responsible for it this time.
In a silent agreement forged from more fights than I could count, we all faced a different direction with our defenseless companions between us.
My previous quarrel with Ilan didn't matter at this moment.
The time for reproach would come, but not yet.
For long, unending minutes, we stayed together, weapons raised and magic ready to defend ourselves from our unknown foe who was probably responsible for the hellish scene we had witnessed less than an hour ago.
However, even long minutes spent on edge with only the whimpers of the Vrapy next to us to break the otherwise absolute silence wasn’t enough to make our mysterious enemy act.
The idea that a human Master mage was responsible for this situation was already gone.
Humans could be cruel and vicious, but not like that.
I had trouble explaining how, but I knew deep down that only something with much stronger predatory instincts would act like that and make me feel this way.
These past months, I encountered many kinds of magic beasts, but none made me feel that way even when we had no choice but to flee when faced with a superior foe.
Just what kind of magic beast were we up against?
Was it vigilant against us or simply toying with our fears?
These questions continued to spin endlessly in my head while the unnatural silence surrounding us weighed more and more on my mind with each passing minute.
If this lurking creature was simply enjoying our reactions, it was probably delighted as I had trouble remembering a time when I was so afraid.
My stomach felt heavy as if a rock had settled in there while I had trouble controlling the shaking of my limbs and the speed of my breathing.
I faced death many times and the idea to sacrifice this second life for someone else's sake wasn’t foreign. However, the abominable images constantly flashing in my head of what we had seen inside the camp made this courage and determination waver like never before, and my desire to simply flee stronger than ever.
Even with my companions by my side, I still struggled against this primal fear threatening to drown me and making my own mana difficult to use.
The disagreeable impression to be watched persisted and a dreadful question lingered in my head.
Was it how all these poor souls in the camp had died?
Terrorized, unable to offer any kind of resistance.
For a second, the disturbing image of my scarred body, stripped of any kind of honor and humanity, flashed in my head like a terrible promise that the fate of the once-famous Poison mage would be mine to share.
However, more than the primal desire to escape the unspeakable torment I saw all these men endure, there was another desire even stronger than that.
I simply didn’t want to die without fighting.
I couldn’t.
I didn’t have the right to do so for I knew, deep in my heart, that there couldn’t be any greater insult to everything I went through so far than to simply give in to my fears.
I gritted my teeth and tightened my fists as strongly as I could while taking deep breaths to steady my erratic breathing. I tensed my entire body and tried to put the shaking of my legs under control.
For long seconds, even this simple task appeared unreachable as if any kind of resistance would definitely spell my doom.
All I wanted was to take a step forward, but even something so basic appeared impossible.
Excuses followed one another in my head to prevent me from leaving this reassuring spot near my equally terrified comrades as if the only safe place was right here, shaking beside them.
My heart was beating strongly in my chest as if it wanted to be heard by the whole place, but it wasn’t because of fear anymore.
Frustration and anger had already taken their place and fueled my determination.
With a stronger will than I thought I possessed, I finally took a single step forward that immediately broke the strange silence and stillness that this cursed place had imposed on us.
Free from the shackles this unreasonable and unnatural fear had put on me, I continued to walk forward, one step at a time, under the shocked gaze of my petrified comrades.
Did this monster enjoy stalking its prey?
Did it relish in our fears?
But I was no prey anymore and I was done being afraid.
“Ahhh!!!”
My clenched jaw finally loosened to let out all my pent-up emotions in a thunderous scream announcing my will to dearly defend my life.
As if answering this cry, the previously stalled mana within me, so restricted and scattered that I thought unusable, finally reacted.
Along with this unending scream, as if finally waking up from a torpor after being ridden of its shackles, my power slowly rose to once more change my fate.
From barely discernible to imposing.
From intense to overwhelming.
However, unlike Alianelle, my mana wasn’t chaotic without a master to direct it.
It was concentrated with the entire strength of my will behind it, ready to be used to create a magic at a moment’s notice.
The mana around me was already almost visible to the naked eyes, furiously rippling when other steps behind me made me turn my gaze to look back.
Jazor had also taken his first step forward with his face reddened by the effort and probably by the same shame burning through my veins for letting fear crush my determination.
With their weapons once more raised and their respective mana finally awakening, Ilan and Walmir also broke free and slowly made their way forward to join us.
One heavy step after the other.
My comrades resisted their fears to stand beside me and dearly defend their life.
The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
This quote from my old world never seemed as true as in this instant with my comrade beside me finally freed from their previous torpor.
“Ahhhh!”
With fire burning in their eyes and their strongest magic ready to be unleashed in one final stand, they also let out an angry scream escape their lips.
One after the other, then together, mixing in a final cry of defiance toward our invisible enemy.
Our respective fears were done to paralyze us and I was sure the vicious beast, carefully stalking us for any weakness, knew it.
The oppressive sensation I had trouble describing or escaping from seemed less absolute while our momentum continued to grow.
Relief and hope mixed in my heart, but I didn’t let my guard down until another thing even more unexpected happened.
Alianelle’s mana suddenly started to recede.
We all waited with bated breath, but there was no denying it.
In just a few seconds, her mana had almost completely calmed down. The peaceful expression on her face and her tranquil breathing made it clear how unaware she was of what the disappearance of her mana could mean for us.
Less than a minute later, the invisible pressure restraining my movements completely vanished.
None of us missed it or could deny our shared relief, similar to a breath of fresh air as if a huge weight had been finally lifted from our chest.
When her crisis finally completely stopped, the silence broken by our screams of defiance once more returned.
Different from before, not oppressive anymore, but we still knew that safety was just an illusion in this place teeming with life and violence just a few minutes ago.
We repressed a collective sigh of relief and did our best to act quickly.
With Jazor’s earth blessing giving him inhuman strength, we put back on its wheels the open-aired carriage and linked it with the two Vrapy ridden of their submissive attitudes to finally leave this place as fast as possible.
We had faced this seemingly insurmountable enemy together, but as I saw the pale faces of my comrades silently sitting on the shaky beaten up carriage, with their gaze darting all around to look for an invisible foe ready to pounce on us, I realized that while we had faced our fears, that didn’t mean we had conquered it.
Fear is like poison.
If it seeps in too deep, it can bleed out your heart.
It continued to influence us and now that the adrenaline in my system has subsided, the shaking of my limbs was also slowly returning.
Once more I clenched my fists to control it while looking at the landscape passing before my eyes, trying to discern the source of this uneasiness, but like before, it stayed out of my perception.