Chapter 30: Path of magic (First part)

It's been six days since I entered the wilderness on my own.

I nearly died half a dozen times in this savage land since my encounter with the mysterious monster in the gloomy cave. The wild animals I met were much weaker but still didn’t hesitate to attack a weak-looking prey like me. I had to endure a dozen animal attacks per day.

Fortunately, I didn't encounter another deviant since that night with the fire deviant, but I didn't dare to relax and kept looking at the ring on my thumb.

I knew that the strongest creatures in the wilderness probably weren't interested in me, but if I encountered them, I knew I was unlikely to escape with my life. Just like with the giant green monster hidden in the profound cave.

Being tense and on guard day and night was tiring for the body, but especially for the mind. The fact that I had to quickly arrive in a human settlement added to my nervousness and my impatience. There was nothing I could do except walk faster toward the east while being aware of my surroundings.

My supplies began to run out, so I started to hunt. My favorite preys were the small rabbit-like creatures I saw in the plains the first day. They were numerous and fast, but I had one huge advantage.

They underestimated me.

It was probably because I had the body of a child, but they didn't attack me or ran away as soon as they saw me. As a result, I was able to launch a fast attack with a waterball to kill or at least stun them before ending their life with an earthball in the head at point-blank range.

I wanted to hunt other animals to vary my meals or at least search for fruits on the way but I didn't dare to do that. The reason was simple, I didn't want to take any risk and lose more time than necessary. Places with fresh fruits were likely to shelter some animals and fight with other species was obviously a risk that I wasn't willing to take.

After so many battles, I slowly began to learn from my mistakes and, as a result, the near-death situations became less numerous, leaving me time to relax my mind a little. I learned many things regarding the way of surviving alone and regarding the best way to use the magic I had under many different circumstances.

I thought that I would be able to train my earth magic along the way, but it was impossible, just as Hirillë told me. My only way to train, since I became an Advanced rank mage in each element was to shoot at a target to learn how to control the speed of my magic. Without being able to do something like that, I didn't know what to do.

As I walked along plains, hills, and small mountains I always had this question in the corner of my mind.

Even if I learned to use my magic in the most efficient way possible, I became painfully aware that I was weak. I had to get stronger on the way or there was a chance that I would meet a foe that I couldn't defeat or run away from.

The only thing awaiting me at this moment would be death.

As a result, I began to think about what magic was and how I was supposed to train it. Hirillë taught me a lot, but even with that, there was something bothering me.

The teachings of Gandalf and Hirillë were nearly contradictory at some points and even Hirillë's explanations were quite vague sometimes. For example, she couldn't use Sacred magic and didn't have any idea why I wasn't able to use it anymore. The only thing I could think of was that I was able to unlock this magic in a desperate situation and that I wasn't yet able to use it consciously.

However, even with this unconvincing explanation, there were other things that had been bothering me for a while. 

It was the reason I was able to use the four Primordial magic.

According to Amanda, it was quite rare but there were still a few other mages like me who existed. However, I didn't think that these rare individuals were able to use Sacred magic on top of that. Maybe it was because they never bothered trying to learn it, but I still found it hard to believe it was a coincidence that I could use so many different kinds of magic.

In the first place, why are there differences between the Primordial magic each human can use?

This question lingered in my mind and bothered me because I was also thinking about the differences between each race. The elves weren't able to use fire magic at all while the dwarves were really proficient using it. Gandalf explained to us that it was because of the difference between the races.

It wasn't an explanation at all.

It was more like saying: ‘it's like that so don't think too much about it'. It could truly be differences between each race, but if this was the case this didn't explain the differences between individuals of each race.

I elaborated various hypotheses after thinking about it.

At first, I thought it was partly because of the difference in each person's lifestyle. For example, elves mostly lived in forests and as a result, never used fire while dwarves spent an enormous amount of time near the burning heat of the furnace when creating mighty weapons and precious artefacts. 

Maybe this hypothesis was a part of the answer, but this just couldn't be all there was to it. For me, there was a chance that heredity had a part in this too. I had no way to check this idea because I didn't know what type of 'Primordial magic' my parents could use. I knew my mother was a good fire mage while my father was more proficient in earth magic. I didn't know if they could use water or wind magic like me, but even if they couldn't, that didn't mean anything as it could just miss a generation or two.

“Ahhh, I can't think anymore!!!”

I exclaimed with a big sigh after thinking for several hours straight while walking. I felt my head becoming hotter with useless assumptions. Moreover, my thoughts were often interrupted because of animals around me or change of ground. As a result, I felt that my thoughts kept repeating without making any progress.

This couldn't be helped as it wasn't a casual stroll after all.

I wanted to become stronger, but I couldn't just put myself in danger by being immersed in my thoughts and lowering my guard.

I stopped in my tracks as I saw a little white rabbit-like creature near a tree approximately fifty meters ahead. The sun was high in the sky signaling me that it was almost time to eat. I still had a couple of fruits in my backpack, but after walking all day since the sun was up, I wanted some meat to regain my strength.

I approached carefully, reducing the distance to approximately twenty meters. The little devil was busy eating what looked like mushrooms near the tree. I concentrated to sense if there was another creature near him.

Scanning the area like that was slowly becoming easier.

At first, it was quite difficult. In fact, the only thing I noticed immediately after leaving the Great Forest was that it was more difficult to sense mana outside it. I needed to concentrate harder, but as I often used this method to look for a possible ambush, it was becoming easier to sense and differentiate the mana around me.

I closed my eyes to help my research.

I could feel the mana swirling around me. I could faintly discern some difference between the earth under my feet and the air around me, but this was the best I could do with my current ability. Hirillë was able to differentiate the mana coming from the sun, from the earth and the air with ease but it was impossible for me.

However, I could still feel the mana concentrate in the small life form in front of me. According to Hirillë, mana was the life around us taking many different shapes. Sensing mana concentrated on a single point was the sign of an intelligent life form. However, I quickly noticed that many trees also concentrated the mana. It took me some time before becoming able to differentiate animals from plants.

I concentrated not to miss anything, but I couldn't sense any other animal near it. I didn't dare to totally relax as the perimeter I could scan was still quite short, around a hundred feet at most. Of course, I relied entirely on my ring to search for eventual deviant in my stead.

The ring didn't shine and no one was around this one. 

I opened my eyes and smiled a little.

"Time to eat."

I carefully came closer to the little rabbit who raised its cute head to look at me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before it resumed its meal without giving me any more attention. 

I felt a vein popped on my forehead.

The fact that they underestimated me was to my advantage, but I still felt insulted.

I continued to move toward the little creature. When I was thirty feet away from it, the rabbit finally decided that I was a discomfort and raised its little head while glaring at me furiously.

*Grrrr*

An intimidating growl, not suited for a small body like that escaped its small mouth, making me halt in my tracks. I backed away a few steps to let it relax before releasing my magic.

“Earth bullet”

I quickly raised my hand and, almost at the same time, let out a small pebble of earth toward the creature. I wasn’t confident enough at first, so I used Water magic instead as my first strike. However, with more experience, I chose to just use an earth bullet from the start. The speed of the projectile was nearly on par with my waterballs.

It was enough.

The bullet pierced the body of the little animal without letting him any time to retaliate. It immediately fell on the ground near the tree while a strident noise escaped its mouth.

I approached the tree and took its body away with a smile on my lips. I wasn't happy to kill a nearly harmless animal like that even if it was to eat.

I was glad because of my earth magic.

I was really satisfied with my progress with this element because I painfully learned the weakness of a waterball.

As Hirillë said, each element was different and the strong point of the water wasn't its solidity or its ability to harm the opponent directly. After all, no matter the speed, it was still water. If I could become a Wise water mage, able to manipulate the shape of the water I produced, then this element would clearly become a useful weapon.

In the meantime, this new magic raised the usefulness of my earth element.

Since the attack of the deviant, I experimented if the speed of my last blow was because of the extreme situation I was in or because I made a smaller earthball.

The result was that both were true.

I wasn't able to attain the same speed, but there was clearly a difference when I reduced its size. 

By the way, even if I raised the speed of my earth magic, I couldn't call myself a Scholar earth mage yet as I hadn't mastered the Barrier magic 'Earth arrow' which was simply an earthball raised to the speed of an arrow even if the shape was clearly different. This made me wonder about the naming sense of the humans in this kingdom, but I didn't dwell on the matter as I found my earth bullet easier to use.

Shrinking the size of the projectile to raise the speed.

I realized that even a child could think of something like that. The fact that I never heard about that was probably because every new mage tried to master the Barrier magic. 

To me, this was as Hirillë told me. If I followed blindly the human teaching, I will probably end up being shackled by them sooner or later.

I got away from the forest after gathering some branches to light a fire.

With my spoils of war, I tried to find a suitable place to eat. I couldn't be too close to a forest as it would probably attract numerous animals, but I couldn't stay on an open plain either. I was sure that it didn't really matter in my old world if the hunter ate its prey at the same location, but with deviants possibly lurking around, I didn't dare to take any risk.

After half an hour, I found a suitable place.

It was a grassy plain with a rock formation at its center that was strangely similar to the one I used on my first night. Whenever I had to stop to prepare some supplies, I would choose a similar place. An open place to see possible predators and with enough obstacles to obstruct the view of the animals nearby. Since I chose to do that, I was only attacked once during my meal which was encouraging, especially considering the number of attacks I had to endure each day.

Fifteen minutes later, the rabbit was slowly burning above the small fire I lit with magic. I unskillfully removed the pelt with the small knife given by Hirillë and put a small branch through its body to make it easier to cook.

I took the opportunity to reflect on the magic of this world as I did every time I stopped to cook.

 Primordial magic... Sacred magic... Just what was the link between them?

The more I thought, the more I was sure that it was the key to understand the magic of this world.

I had the strange feeling that the differentiation between these two types of magic was also something to classify the mages between them. I felt that they did the same for the number of Primordial magic usable for a person.

However, it was true that the number of Sacred mages was much lower, so Sacred magic was clearly something different.

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 Even if I couldn't anymore, there was no doubt that I used the Sacred magic of Ice against Amanda.

I heard that a Sacred mage had to immerse himself in the element he wanted to master to use it. Even with this method, numerous mages spent a lifetime without being able to use it at all. However, I used it despite the fact that I never saw any snow or ice in this world.

I didn't spend much time near the snow in my previous life either.

If immersing in the element was enough then the mages living in the cold North of the Western continent should also all be able to use the Sacred magic of Ice or something similar which wasn't the case.

These questions occupied my mind like every day while I slowly turned my future meal above the small fire. After some time, I shrugged my shoulder as usual because I couldn't attain the answer I was looking for.

Then what was the difference between these people who can't use Sacred magic and me?

I didn't know the difference between Primordial and Sacred magic, but the answer to this question was simple.

The only difference was that I was reincarnated.

No matter how many time I asked myself this question, I was sure that it had something to do with my reincarnation into this world. This was, without doubt, the answer.

I looked at the little rabbit being cooked in front of me. I felt my concentration waver as the smell penetrating my nose thrills made me drool a little.

Meat was the best thing in this world after all. I would prefer a hamburger, but there was nothing I could do about that.

 I stood up and prepared to withdraw the meat from the fire.

"It would still be better with a bit of mustard." I couldn't help but say with a sigh.

Coming into another world was incredible, but it still had its downside. I missed the food a lot. It wasn't that the food was bad. On the contrary, it was refreshing at first to discover many new dishes but, for a 'classical' meat' cooked simply like that, I always had the impression that something missed.

I was ready to grab the stick of meat when I stopped in my tracks with my hand still extended. It was as if I became a statue with my eyes fixed in front of me looking at my future meal.

I muttered in a breath my last thought.

“Something is missing...”

As if to continue my previous thoughts, the answer struck me without warning.

I wasn't simply reincarnated into this world. My thoughts were too shallow. I also absorbed the souls of eighty-two other peoples into mine. 

I was immersed in my thought while my eyes wandered in front of me without any real focus.

The mana was produced mostly by the soul. It was a common knowledge, even among the commoners, but maybe our soul wasn't just a source of mana. 

A little smile appeared on my lips as I reached a conclusion. I couldn't check if this was the truth, but I still had the feeling that I wasn't far from it.

It was our soul that determined our affinity with the elements. 

This simple conclusion explained many things about my abnormal way of using magic. With eighty-two other souls combined with my own, this was no wonder that I was a Sokeï mage.

If my conclusion was correct, the ability to use the four Primordial magic depended on the soul, whereas Sacred magic appeared by immersing oneself in the element. 

“Ouah!!!”

I finally noticed that my dinner was burning in front of my eyes. I quickly removed the small animal from the fire and, after a few seconds of struggle, finally managed to put the fire out.

I looked with a wry smile at the corpse black as charcoal.

After getting rid of the part inedible, which was nearly half of it, I sat again on the ground to eat my meat in a light mood despite only saving half of my precious food. My mind was still furiously working while I was chewing the juicy piece of meat.

The sky was blue without any hint of a cloud in it. The sun was brightly illuminating the plain I stayed in while diffusing its warmth to the world.

There wasn't much wind, so the temperature was quite difficult to bear. I had little shade to protect myself from the burning rays, so I put one hand on my head to stop the sun from blinding me. The sun was hindering me and clouded my thoughts a little.

I supposed most animals didn't want to stay under the sun like me and were hiding in the shadow. 

I munched on the meat. The part that wasn't burned was quite good and juicy, filling my empty stomach and giving me another kind of warmth, different from the one that the sun had to offer.

I savored my meat and allowed myself to relax a little. I stretched my legs as far as I could on the grass under me with one hand still protecting me from the overwhelming radiance of the sun as I began to sweat.

Thinking that I would get a sunburn if I stayed too long under the sun's rays, I finished my meal as soon as possible. I stood up and wrapped in a large leaf the rest of the meat that I didn't eat.

I left to resume my journey when I suddenly stopped in my tracks.

I looked at the rest of the plain that was still bathed by the sun in front of my blue eyes. It was as if the answer I sought was offering itself to me.

With my previous assumption, my idea about Sacred magic was still bothering me. Even with the fact that I could use the Sacred magic of Ice despite not having been exposed to ice, I still believed that a mage had to expose himself to the element he wished to master. Every rule has its exception, so I categorized my case like that. I was an abnormal individual after all.

However, the sun was different.

We were always under the sun. This was the same thing for nearly everyone, but I never heard about a single Sacred mage of Light in the entire Dorell kingdom. 

It wasn’t like it was impossible to become a Sacred mage of Light. Nearly everyone was aware of that.

In 'Ledrack', the Human Kingdom of the southern part of the western continent, there was a group of people under the direct command of the higher up of the church who were all Sacred mages of Light. According to Gandalf, they were selected by the Order of the church, but even with a strict selection, those people still came from another Human Kingdom.

They were fellow humans who lived under the same sun. Maybe there was some difference in the climate but I found it hard to believe that the difference was important enough.

If the time spent under the rays of the sun were the same then another factor was involved.

"Maybe Sacred magic is exactly like Primordial magic. The immersion in the element could be important, but maybe the soul plays the same role." 

If our soul determined from the moment of our birth what kind of magic we would be able to use in our future, then I clearly held a huge advantage over normal people. The fact that some mages couldn't use a Sacred magic despite spending a lifetime trying was maybe only because they couldn't. Since the beginning, their soul didn't give them the opportunity to learn the Sacred magic they wanted.

I felt a shiver run down my spine as I imagined myself trying something for my entire life, whereas it was impossible from the beginning.

However, I quickly suppressed this feeling as a small smile appeared on my thin lips.

If I was right then maybe I was potentially able to use many kinds of different Sacred magic. 

With my soul, I could probably use more than a single kind of Sacred magic, but I couldn't just spend my time trying. Moreover, I had no idea how to do something like that in the first place.

If I encountered other Sacred mages maybe I would be able to learn from them.

It was quite vague, but my theory satisfied me nonetheless.

I was satisfied until I remembered one critical fact.

I couldn't use the Sacred magic of Ice anymore.

My smile froze on my lips while my expression grew dimmer. I was happy to understand new things about magic but, in the end, this didn't change my situation. What was truly important was to understand why I wasn't able to use Sacred magic anymore.

I should have resumed my journey already, but I just couldn't with my current state of mind. I sat on the ground in the middle of the grassy plain while elaborating different hypotheses. The idea of being able to use a Sacred magic only once touched my mind and made me depressed.

This was the only thing I could think of.

A one-use magic.

"How could I ever master a Sacred magic if I can only use it once? If this is because of my reincarnation, then this isn't a cheat anymore." 

I felt wronged.

I stayed on my back on the grassy field under the scorching rays of the sun. My mind was filled with frustration and disappointment.

Deep inside me, I was proud to be able to use a Sacred magic on my own. The price for its discovery had been monstrously high with the death of Amanda, but after choosing to use it again, I couldn't help but be excited by this new power. I was sure that if I mastered it then crossing the wilderness on my own would be safer.

However, I couldn't.

I would never be able to feel this coldness ever again. The sensation of the entire mana around me slowing little by little would remain a vague dream for the rest of my life.

I remembered the coldness to help me fight against the scorching sun.

I spent several minutes lying on the grass without moving. The world around me seemed equally immobile without any animal disturbing this moment. However, I was the one to put an end to this stillness as I suddenly sat up straight on the grass.

A distant memory of the life I lost forever reanimated my lost hopes.

I remembered words of encouragement mixed with complaints.

The words of Trisha.

It was once a precious memory for me, but after the tragic events between us, I buried it as deep as I could in my mind.

We were sitting together on a bench in our school under a scorching sun similar to the one I was experimenting at this moment as Sillath. We were reviewing together for a math test that was coming the following week. I tried my best to show my good side to Trisha, but I already gave up the idea of surpassing my brother, so after a single hour I closed my textbook. I enjoyed the warmth of the sun instead while stealing furtive glances toward her beautiful figure and dazzling long blond hair that stole my heart the moment I saw them.

“You’re already done, Thomas?”

She raised her head from her own book to look at me in the eyes.

“Yes, I will try to get a passing mark. That will be enough.” I replied in a slightly embarrassed voice.

Her cute small lips pouted a little before her soft voice left her mouth.

“Don’t be like that. I know you’re smart even if you don’t believe it yourself. You always give up too quickly. That’s your greatest weakness.”

She smiled a little before declaring with a profound voice unsuitable for her slender and slightly childish figure.

“Remember, you mustn’t give up no matter what, because one day, your efforts will be rewarded!”

“Life isn’t such an easy thing to be influenced by just that much.” I replied with a dejected tone hiding years of frustrations obtained after uncountable failures.

However, she just continued as if she didn’t hear my answer.

“If you don’t believe in your success then how are you supposed to succeed at anything? Believe in yourself first so that others can believe in you later!”

Even now, I didn’t know if these were more words of complaints or encouragement, but I was sure that I didn’t know, at that time, that I would remember these words beyond my death.

I wasn’t a good person.

I died while trying to repent for my sins. However, in the end, I couldn’t obtain the forgiveness I was looking for from the people I loved.

I regretted that more than anything, but I had enough regrets for one life.

I clenched my fist and focused once again.

My body wasn’t moving, but that wasn’t the case for my mind anymore.

Questions, hypotheses, refusals.

This cycle repeated itself in my mind without interruption. I immersed myself in my thoughts so deeply that I forgot where I was standing. Nothing mattered at this moment except for the thoughts circling in my mind created by my newfound will.

I didn’t know how much time I spent without moving.

I finally stopped my swirling thoughts going in every direction as a small glitter of hope appeared when my mind finally discovered another path. I focused my thoughts on this path I created.

"The soul determines if we're able to use Sacred magic, that's what I deduced, but... why immerse myself in an element would help me use it? Maybe... maybe I wasn't an exception like I thought." 

I clearly remembered the words of Hirillë when she asked me if I remembered anything the last time I used the Sacred magic of Ice, but at that time, I couldn't think of anything.

However, at that moment, I clearly remembered the thought I had when I was half-conscious.

I wanted to slow the mana swirling around me.

A simple thought that I almost forgot after everything happening later, but now it was different.

Slowing the molecules to lower the temperature.

This was a basic knowledge of my old world that I discarded since discovering the existence of mana. However, this was my mistake.

Clouds in a blue sky.

Green grass and blue water.

The heat and light offered by a yellow sun.

Our worlds were maybe even more similar than what I initially thought.

The physical laws of this world were clearly very close to my old one. This thought was turning endlessly in my mind.

"Then… that would mean that it’s not the time of contact with the element that matters but… it’s understanding!" 

If the soul allowed it, and the understanding was sufficient, then the Sacred magic would naturally be within reach for the mage.

This was the conclusion at the end of my path.

After thinking about it a little more, I understood why people would think it was necessary to immerse in the element. To understand it, they had to first observe it.

I came from a world with a technology far above this one. We could observe the infinitely small along with the infinitely large and deduce the laws governing our world. This knowledge became a public matter along the time.

Something like that didn’t exist in this world.

The only way to understand a part of those laws was to observe it yourself or have someone give the key directly to you. If this was the truth, then this would explain why Sacred mages could teach their magic to the disciples they chose. This would also explain why it was extremely rare for a new Sacred mage to appear without the help of another one who already discovered the key to this magic.

After all, would I be aware of something invisible like atoms if nobody told me beforehand?

It was clear that I would never have the idea to slow the mana around me to transform water into ice.

Unable to wait longer to test my theory, I finally stood up and created a waterball in my small hand. The small chunk of water stayed peacefully in the palm of my hand while undulating lightly.

I fixed my gaze on the blue water and concentrated. I imagined the ice and the coldness spreading to my limbs. I concentrated with all my might but, after several seconds, the waterball was as intangible as before.

Just as I expected, just imagining the magic wasn’t enough. 

I prepared to test the theory I developed just a moment ago and focused my mind on my hand holding the waterball.

I looked at my hand bathed in the sun once more.

I squeezed my eyes to look closer.

I hadn’t noticed because of the brightness of the sun, but the small white ring on my thumb was emitting a small white light.

The pureness of this single light warned me of a calamity ready to befall me.