Chapter 84: Fight the fear (First Part)
The sun was high in the sky, the weather clear and we only had a few weeks of travel left to rejoin one of the sturdiest shelters of Human civilization in the wilderness. However, safety never seemed as unattainable as in this instant.
The distance separating us from the carriage waiting outside the military camp we were desperately trying to run away from appeared insurmountable, especially because we had to take Paul into consideration and thus couldn’t use our respective abilities to accelerate.
Paul probably had a lot of questions about our attitude, but smartly chose to keep them to himself for now, which was just as well, because he was having a hard time following us while Ilan was having a hard time concealing his obvious resentment against him for slowing us down.
I secretly hoped that I would never have to answer whatever questions he was keeping in the corner of his head and that I would be able to quickly forget this sordid episode of my life.
Unfortunately, forgetting was a distant dream. For now, the pressure I was feeling bearing on my shoulders didn’t diminish even when the carriage was within arm’s reach. It was as if an invisible opponent was ready to pounce on us and drag us back to rejoin all the other unfortunate souls of this camp.
All those who had witnessed this nightmare, and knew that something eager to give us the same fate was probably waiting not far away, heaved a collective sigh of relief after safely crossing the vast open field without any trouble. However, this relief was short-lived as Walmir wasn’t behind the Vrapy, ready to take us away as soon as we returned as agreed.
Walmir wasn’t the kind of person to ignore his duty and desert his position unless something forced him to do that.
This realization that hit me like a punch in the gut forced my steps to an abrupt end.
My companions did the same and put their hands on their weapons in an urgency betraying their own nervousness far from their usual professionalism.
Walmir’s absence from his post was worrying enough, but unfortunately, it wasn’t the only thing out of the ordinary.
The Vrapy were behaving strangely.
These impressive creatures, selected, specially bred, and trained to lead their owner safely through the wilderness, were behaving as I had never seen before.
Usually proud and steady, their massive scaly tails were sweeping the floor in furious movements I only saw them do when faced with a stronger being than them. However, even faced with monstrous animals we weren’t willing to directly confront, they kept their proud gait to lead us to safety as fast as their powerful limbs and nearly unlimited stamina allowed them to.
As I was looking at them, one thing was sure.
They weren’t ready to do that this time.
Their massive back was crouched, their heads lowered with reptilian eyes darting all around to nervously look at their surroundings.
I wasn’t an expert in animal behavior, especially if they originated from this world, but just like my companions, I was able to recognize fear and submission even if it was the first time these reliable allies showed us this kind of spectacle.
The implication of their attitude was even more worrying than Walmir’s absence, and except for Paul, Ilan and Jazor had both perfectly understood what it possibly meant for us.
Ilan's grave face turned ashen while his axe in his left hand and sword in his right blazed to life, ready to unleash their destructive power at a moment’s notice. Cold sweet was constantly flowing from Jazor’s forehead while he kept clenching and unclenching his sturdy fingers over his reliable axe.
I didn’t have any weapon to pull out, so I relied on my most useful asset that I created and developed in my most desperate times on these lands.
I closed my eyes and let the world of mana take me. The familiar particles dancing all around and informing me of the hidden mysteries of this world that could be under my rule if I pierced their secrets immediately calmed my mind.
Fear and urgency had obstructed my senses and my judgment, which for now was proving an even worse enemy than the potential creature or mage lurking in the shadows. I couldn’t deny the unusually strong beats of my heart pulsing like a thunderous drum in my chest, but I could ignore it to do what I was the best at.
Focusing for a few seconds with a more relaxed mind was all I needed to find Walmir.
It took me longer to understand why I didn’t immediately find him despite our closeness until I realized that he was simply hidden by his closeness with another life form.
A person unaware of our current predicament and simply lying unconscious inside the carriage for way too long now.
I shot my eyes open and informed my companions of my finding. Jazor and Ilan relaxed slightly, but Paul did the contrary.
Unaware of what we had seen inside the camp, his greatest fear wasn’t the monster, human or not, that decimated and tortured a camp full of veteran soldiers led by a famous true Saint mage and potentially hiding near us at this moment.
It was the fate of his defenseless only daughter near a man he despised probably more than anyone else.
With powerful steps radiating anger, he rushed at an erratic pace toward the other side of the carriage to reach the already opened door. The crouched back of Walmir, apparently leaning over Alianelle’s bed, made my blood turn cold and my friend roar in furry.
“Paul, don’t!” I hurriedly shouted without any result.
Forgetting the disparity in strength, Paul rushed before any of us could react.
Fist met unprepared flesh and a torrent of mana was immediately released.
However, it didn’t come from Walmir’s counterattack or from Ilan, too stunned by this scene to defend his employer.
“Fool!” screamed Walmir, who had fallen with all his weight onto the creaking wooden floor of the carriage.
Despite lacking any magical ability, the strength of this punch was apparently anything but insignificant and forced Walmir to act before another one reached him.
A wave of his remaining arm was enough for Paul to be thrown out of the carriage by a wall of water and land on his back near my feet.
The violence of the impact didn’t seem to be enough to deter him, as he immediately scrambled back to his feet with a rage I never saw burn inside him to battle for his daughter’s honor once more.
I would be standing by his side and lending him my strength if not for the torrent of mana that he probably wasn’t really able to perceive. Unlike him, all the other people present could, and like all the others, I was completely stunned by it which prevented me from reacting immediately.
It was coming from Alianelle.
The young unconscious girl that barely showed any sign of life these past months, was releasing more mana from her feeble body than I ever saw her do. Stronger even than when we had crossed this swamp, just before meeting Ilan and Walmir.
I immediately understood what Walmir had tried to do.
He didn’t try to abuse the body of a young unconscious girl while everyone was away as Paul was persuaded. He had tried to contain this continuous flow of mana alerting all the surrounding lifeforms of our presence.
“Paul, stop!” I screamed once again.
But, the former farmer ignored me, blinded by his rage because of the apparent affront to his daughter he had just witnessed.
Walmir, with a nasty bleeding cut at the corner of his right eye, immediately raised his right arm to properly welcome the assault this time. But, Jazor tackled Paul from the side and forced him to the ground before things could escalate any further.
“Let me go!’ bellowed Paul in a rage he had trouble controlling. “I knew it, you’re with them!”
Probably only the blessing of the earth, one of the aspects of this element Jazor was using to enhance his physical abilities, was enough to allow him to dominate a much bigger Paul who was thrashing around with mad abandon.
Paul didn’t appear able to hear any kind of explanation and none of us had the time for that.
My still spread out senses informed me that distant life forms, obviously attracted by this sudden source of pure mana, were coming closer.
Walmir had already lowered his arm and was rushing back inside to try to once more calm the swirling whirlpool of mana that will doom us all. I followed him while Ilan and Jazor took charge of what was happening outside.
Even the dim interior of the carriage wasn’t enough to hide the pain on Alianelle’s usually tranquil face.
Paul's screams continued to echo behind me until a loud, familiar noise, followed by a muffled scream put an end to his mad ravening.
“What the hell happened?” I furiously asked after Paul was knocked out.
“I don’t know. It started not long after you all left,” awkwardly explained Walmir with beads of sweat on his forehead and blood continuously flowing near his right eye.
Despite his best efforts, calming Alianelle’s mana proved just as difficult as the last time. He was able to contain and hide it but I knew the damage was already done.
We had to leave.
The door was unceremoniously closed just before the whimpers and growls of the Vrapy started. Ilan and Jazor both understood just as much as me how vital it was for us to run away immediately.
However, contrary to their habits, the Vrapy didn’t immediately start to pull the carriage. Walmir was the most familiar with their guidance followed by Paul who used and developed this role to prove himself useful when Walmir’s fighting abilities were necessary.
However, none of them was available and neither Ilan nor Jazor seemed that efficient in reassuring these obviously intimidated animals.
“Go help them!” I said forcefully to Walmir who turned his eyes to look at me before nodding quickly.
He let go of Alianelle’s hand which put an end to his previous efforts to calm the situation. I pushed myself into a corner to allow him to leave despite the narrowness of the carriage and quickly took his place near my friend.
I didn’t have as much expertise as him in the healing aspect of the water element and all my previous attempts to calm her mana along our journey had failed miserably. Paul was the only one able to calm her crisis.
I certainly didn’t know how, but I couldn’t stay here without at least trying.
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Without hesitating further, I put my hand on her forehead and did my best to use my own mana to influence and calm hers. The violent downpour slightly calmed down, but despite my best efforts, the heart of the problem stayed out of my influence.
I concentrated as hard as I could while the Vrapy finally decided to pull the carriage to get us out of this situation.
However, as long as she continuously emanated mana, we were like a beacon in the dark night, constantly inciting all the nearby animals and deviants to find us.
Remembering the nightmare we left behind, I couldn’t help but be terrified by the prospect of attracting something even worse, but no matter how hard I tried, I could only dampen and calm a bit the mana she was furiously releasing without any control.
If previously I could put this strange reaction on the account of the potion I had given her to save her life, this time there was nothing to take the blame for.
So how was this possible for Alianelle to release so much mana?
Wasn’t she just a simple farmer’s daughter?
I lived together with her, but I never doubted her origins or her abilities. For me, she was just an ordinary young girl, totally powerless and without any prospect as a potential mage.
During all this time spent by her side, nothing made me doubt this.
No, this wasn’t true.
There was one thing that made me doubt.
Among all the inhabitants of the Advanced town, me included, she was the only one singled out and chosen by the Ryunno clan member. If it truly wasn’t because of her natural beauty as we had supposed after her rescue, then maybe this Ryunno clan member knew something about her none of us did.
None of us, except Paul.
All the questions swirling in my head didn’t help me in my current predicament. The situation outside was taking a turn for the worse if I believed the screams of my companions and the growing roars of the beasts.
We were running out of time.
The Vrapy were always fast and resilient enough to get us out of the worst situations. However, even from inside this gloomy carriage with barely enough light passing through the small window on the door, I could tell that the Vrapy weren’t going as fast as usual.
The animals and potential deviants assaulting us that should progressively be distanced were continuously attacking, forcing the convoy to make violent movements to avoid, making the old wood of this carriage crack in protest at the same time.
The distant roars and clash of weapons grew stronger with each second, but I knew I had reached my limits. I could try all day, but I couldn’t resolve Alianelle’s problem.
If all my efforts were meaningless, then I should just go out to fight with the others.
*Bam*
A violent explosion suddenly propelled me to the other side of the carriage and put an abrupt end to my decision. I hit my head hard against the wooden wall while Alianelle's unconscious body fell to the floor. I rushed to her side, as fast as the unstable interior allowed me, to protect her from any other potential future impact.
*Bam*
Another loud noise made me jump in surprise but it wasn’t an explosion this time. One of the birds with silver wings I had progressively learned to hate across our journey had simply tried to force its way through the door of the carriage. Its long and surprisingly sharp black beak had completely punctured the robust but aging wood.
Fortunately, the rest of its body wasn’t able to immediately enter, putting the bird in an awkward position I didn’t intend to waste.
With Alianelle’s limp body in my arms, I raised one hand and sent an earth bullet that flew right through its head. The impact was enough to push the bird’s body out of the hole it had created, letting a clear ray of light take its place that immediately lightened the otherwise dark interior. It allowed me to clarify Alianelle’s condition more easily. Her head had a nasty lump, but thankfully, she seemed otherwise unharmed.
Which wouldn’t stay that way for long if I believed what I was seeing through the hole this cursed bird had created.
Magics were flying everywhere, some coming from my friends to disrupt the mad charges of the various species running alongside the carriage, but with many more directed at us.
It had been a long time since I was at a loss about what to do.
Jazor and Ilan were fighting as hard as they could to repel the now almost constant assault while Walmir was doing his best to lead us out of this situation.
Should I go out to fight with my companions and leave Alianelle on her own?
Or maybe I could go out to awaken Paul and bring him back inside. He was the only one who was able to calm her the few times this situation had happened after joining strength with Ilan and Walmir. Although this hadn’t happened for nearly two months, he was still the best chance we had to calm her down.
A part of me was glad that she finally showed signs of life after all this time spent completely unresponsive, but we wouldn’t survive for long if she continued to attract all the nearby animals and deviants.
While I was torn by indecision and repealed another attacker that had gotten too close to the half-broken door, I finally decided to go get Paul to solve this problem. There was simply nothing I could do to calm her. It was a little vexing to think that my presence wasn't enough to calm her as Paul's had done.
This thought crossed my mind when it suddenly hit me.
Did Paul really calm her just like that the last time?
I had always thought that she could recognize her father, was soothed by his presence, and never looked any further into it.
Otherwise, how else could Paul have done what any of us couldn’t while being completely unable to use magic or simply feel mana?
Paul didn’t contradict this version, rather the opposite in fact. He was elusive when I asked him, simply answering that she was his daughter so this kind of outcome was to be expected.
We all believed him.
All he had to do was enter the carriage and her crisis would immediately subside. It happened a few times before Alianelle entered a complete torpor only broken today. However, now I realize that the last time didn’t happen like that.
Paul had taken her out of the carriage and hurriedly carried her back when her crisis suddenly started. Even nestled in his arms, her condition didn’t improve. The crisis intensified and continued until she was back inside the carriage, alone with her father behind closed doors. It’s after this episode that Alianelle completely stopped responding and that her crisis ceased.
None of us doubted Paul’s explanations. We didn’t question him when he forbade us from entering without him either.
However, his growing nervousness and hostility against everyone including me and Jazor these past weeks finally made it more difficult to completely trust his words.
If I had no reason to doubt him before, I could now.
Then, there was only a single question I needed an answer to.
How did Paul manage to calm her down if his explanation about recognizing him wasn’t the truth as he had pretended all along?
No matter what was happening inside Alianelle’s body, no matter what she and Paul were hiding or what the Ryunno clan member had seen in her, all I knew was that her problem was linked with her mana.
However, Paul wasn’t a mage.
He wasn’t able to directly influence it like me or Walmir.
Without this ability or his special emotional bond to explain his results to calm Alianelle, there was only a single possibility left.
Something else inside the carriage was responsible for this.
I delicately put Alianelle down on the floor and stood up.
Amidst the growing chaos outside and a shaking carriage regularly dangerously tilting from side to side, I started my search.
The places where something could be hidden were limited in such a barren and limited space.
Therefore, it didn’t take me long to unceremoniously turn the beds upside down and look through everything dispersed on the wooden floor.
I continued with growing urgency and with doubts starting to form in my mind until something caught my attention.
A small grey fabric rolled into a ball was dissimulated in a small space between the head of Alianelle’s bed and the carriage wall, previously covered by her large pillow. As Paul did his best to prevent anyone but him to stay too long inside on their own or to simply approach Alianelle, this place was without a doubt the safest he could find.
With growing expectation but also nervousness, I ignored the sound of battle outside and quickly unrolled it to reveal what was hidden.
It only contained a single thing, but this lonely object was enough to make me gasp.
It was a vial of potion.
And not just any kind.
It was one of the vials gifted by Hirillë I used all along my journey to survive. However, instead of a pure translucent regeneration potion inside, a strange turbid blue liquid took its place.
The small vial was almost empty while the fabric only had a few pieces of dried plants left. My knowledge about this world’s vegetation was still limited despite Ilan and Jazor’s lessons and advices. However, it didn’t take me much effort to notice that it was this unknown plant that was distilled to create this strange mixture.
Paul was well aware of the nature of the potion I used to save Alianelle, just like he knew about the abnormal sturdiness of its container. My bag, also gifted by Hirillë, and containing all my accumulated empty vials, was unfortunately left inside Paul's now destroyed farm while I completely lost track of the last one I used to save Alianelle in the heat of the moment.
Apparently, Paul thought it was necessary to discreetly recuperate it, hide it and use it in secret to protect this mysterious decoction.
Whatever the nature of this liquid may be, it couldn’t be ordinary.
I was sure it was what Paul had used to control Alianelle’s crisis.
And that was what I needed more than anything right now.
Another explosion outside confirmed to me that my questions would have to wait.
I quickly knelt beside Alianelle and held her head to help her drink, something she had no trouble subconsciously doing according to Paul. Hoping this wasn’t another lie, I opened the lid and was ready to pour the strange liquid inside her half-opened mouth.
However, the scent that suddenly drifted after the lid was pulled open made me stop.
I knew this smell.
I was sure I had smelled this before but I couldn’t remember where.
I stayed for long seconds with my hand holding the inclined vial suspended just above Alianelle’s head while various memories of the past weeks resurfaced one after the other. The pieces of the puzzle had trouble coming together, but I couldn’t get rid of the disturbing feeling that something was terribly off.
I stayed frozen unable to decide for longer than I would like to admit until I noticed something even more disturbing.
Alianelle’s wound was gone.
I narrowed my eyes and hurriedly put my hand on her forehead, but the nasty lump she had gotten when she fell was completely gone.
I didn’t imagine or saw it wrong.
She was clearly wounded just a few minutes ago, but not a single remaining trace was left.
Neither I nor Walmir could heal that fast even with the healing aspect of the water element, so how was it possible for an unconscious girl?
This impossible situation coupled with the previous mystery of her abnormally powerful mana put my mind in complete disarray until I finally understood.
Perhaps from the beginning, my assumptions were wrong.
The mana she was releasing without restraint or apparent control wasn’t the symptom of a problem.
Just like the particles of mana in nature moving without discerning order and interacting mysteriously with each other, this apparently chaotic wave of mana constantly swirling around her wasn’t without purpose even if it was beyond my understanding.
It was healing her.
I took a small piece of broken glass near me and carefully used it to make a small cut on the back of her left hand. I didn’t have to wait long. With barely enough time to put her hand under the light entering from the broken door, the small wound rapidly vanished as if it was never there in the first place.
I was sure she didn’t have this ability when I lived with her in the farm. Moreover, even if she had hidden it before, she would have been forced to use it when she was mortally wounded instead of forcing me to use the remaining of Hirillë’s potion to save her life.
This idea that this foreign mana was the sign of a magic used to heal herself never crossed my mind before as she always appeared perfectly healthy ever since falling into a coma.
However, it was impossible to deny it.
She was unconsciously healing herself.
With my limited knowledge of this world and the mysteries of its magic, I was left with this single explanation even if I had no idea how something like that was possible.
Many questions were running through my head without any evident answer, but one of them was more disturbing than the others.
What did she have to heal with such a massive amount of mana?
The explosions outside and the constantly shaking carriage reminded me that I didn’t have the time to ponder this question yet.
If I was right, then I wasn’t supposed to try to control or restrain this mana.
It was the opposite.
I had to reinforce and nourish it.
So, for the first time, that’s what I tried to do.
My carefulness didn’t last long after noticing that the raw mana I was feeding her was absorbed without any restraint like a thirsty beast finally finding a source of much-desired water.
It didn’t take long either to notice the result. Even more mana was gathering and swirling around her making all the animals outside redouble their effort to reach the interior of the carriage.
I pushed down the fear and doubt that I was simply making things worse deep down and continued to pour as much mana as I could.
Unrelentlessly, with faith as my only guide, I continued for long minutes this attempt.
I persevered for as long as I could while looking for a sign that I was right until the reality of our situation caught up with me in the worst possible way.