Chapter 15: Choice

Am I dead?

I couldn't help but ask myself that stupid question in my head.

The reason for that was simple. 

I remembered clearly that I couldn't even fight back in front of that monster until I was swallowed.

Therefore, I was sure that I would die in a few seconds.

However, death wasn't coming.

I was in a total darkness. I couldn’t see or hear anything. I only felt something soft and wet under me.

I spent a few minutes in this prison until I saw rays of light in front of me.

It was too bright.

The rays became stronger, so I closed my eyes.

As soon as I closed them, I felt my entire body moving at high speed. I couldn't resist at all.

“Ouch”

I was violently propelled outside of my prison and landed heavily on the ground.

I blinked a few times before being able to see where I was.

I was back in front of the Queen at the exact same place.

She hadn’t moved at all. Hirillë was calmly standing as if nothing happened in the first place and looked at me with a small smile.

“Thank you Bethil.”

“Creek, Creek.”

I turned my head to look where the sound came from.

It came from the monster that had eaten me and that was currently shrinking and recovering its original color. In just a few seconds, the cute white hamster with a horn was back and quickly ran toward the Queen to reclaim its place on her slim left shoulder.

I was glad to be alive but also quite irritated that this freak spat me like a chewing gum.

I looked at this little monster with hate burning in my eyes as I tried to get rid of the saliva on me.

I could swear that I saw the little hamster grin before happily rubbing its little head against the left cheek of the Queen.

After a few seconds, the melodious voice of Hirillë resonated once more in the tranquil clearing.

“There is no need to look so angry.”

“What are you planning to do with me?"

I ignored her soft voice and replied with a sharp and disrespectful tone.

"Nothing. I told you already, it's not that I don't trust your story. If you were an ordinary lost child, then I would have helped you, but I know you're not. Someone with unknown origin and doubtful purposes is roaming inside our territory. No matter my feelings, I can't help you before being sure that you aren't a threat to this forest and its inhabitants."

Her melodious voice didn’t appease me.

I didn't like that feeling of helplessness in front of her, but I knew there was nothing I could do about my situation.

"Aren't you the Queen? If you trust me, then just release me. Even if someone disagrees, this doesn't matter if this is your decision."

"I'm the Queen of this forest, that is true. However, this doesn't mean that I can blindly make decisions involving the safety of my people based on emotion alone."

After some time, I finally calmed down.

She was right.

She didn't know me and didn't have any reason to trust or help me. Even if she led me toward the edge of the forest, there was no proof that I wouldn't come back later with reinforcement.

This forest was also a part of the wilderness. It wasn't a peaceful place.

I was sure that many dangers and enemies were lurking outside, ready to attack at the slightest weakness.

After collecting my thoughts, I began to become grateful to the Queen. After all, the safest solution would have been to kill me on the spot. The fact that she was willing to find another solution was already quite merciful.

The elves gathered once more near their Queen.

The woman elf was among them. She was standing by herself, but her steps were unsteady.

"So what will happen now?

After my failed attempt, I had no choice but to follow her will for the time being.

“We will go to meet the ancestor of this forest. He will be able to tell us if you have any evil intent. When we have the proof of your innocence, we will guide you outside of this forest and give you anything that you may need on your journey as a compensation. ”

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I turned my head to look at the perfect face of the Queen.

"You're telling me this as if this is just a formality."

She nodded with her usual smile on her thin lips.

"Yes, because I think that you don't have any malicious intent. You didn't try to kill Hiraliel after all."

“Hiraliel?”

I tilted my head, not understanding.

“It’s me!”

The angry voice of a woman echoed in the clearing.

I turned my head and finally understood.

It was the woman elf I fought earlier.

She was pale and her face was distorted with anger, but she was still incredibly pretty. I couldn’t help but look at her alluring waist and notice her rapid breathing that made her modest chest move rhythmically.

I forced my eyes to leave her figure to look at the Queen, whose beautiful brown eyes once more shone with a mysterious light. 

"I want to trust you. Bethil also told me that you didn't try to kill Hiraliel but... that doesn't mean you never kill anyone before, right?"

Her declaration made every elf gasp in surprise. They probably couldn’t imagine a little boy like me killing someone.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked with a cold voice.

No matter what kind of ability she used to learn this, I didn’t like the fact that she pretended to know me. She didn't know anything about me, about my life and the choices I had to make.

It would probably be totally useless, therefore, I didn't try to lie to her.

“It’s true, I killed before.”

Everyone seemed shocked by my words except for the Queen.

"Why did you take another life?" She asked as if she already knew the answer.

"I killed because I didn't have any other choice, that's all. I won't kill someone if I don't have to.”

I made a small pause and looked at Hiraliel. She was certainly the most surprised among everyone. I looked straight into her eyes before I finished telling what I had on my heart.

“I killed before to protect my family and I will do it again if I had to. I don't regret it and I never will. However, that doesn't mean I like it or that I think it's a good thing. I will never kill again if I have another choice.”

My voice wasn’t cold anymore.

All my feelings left through my voice.

My anger, my sorrow, my guilt and more importantly my determination filled the clearing.

I glanced at the Queen.

She was smiling and looking sad at the same time.

“You’re definitely not a normal child. This world already made you lose your innocence. However, we won't judge you because of that. What happened before is none of our business. We will help you leave our forest once you meet our ancestor. It's the only way for us to be truly sure of your true nature and to know if you have any intention to harm this forest and its inhabitants."

She turned her back and began to leave.

"We don't have many visitors, so I hope that you will like our city."

Some elves were obviously angry that I was so disrespectful to their Queen before, but after her welcoming words, they began to relax.

I was glad that everything worked out well in the end, even if I was still worried about their ancestor. However, it was the truth that I didn't have any malicious intent against them. Moreover, there was nothing I could do about it.

I could only silently follow her lead for our small journey toward their city. 

After a few minutes, I finally began to grow curious.

Who would not want to see an Elven city?

However, despite my curiosity, I couldn't relax my mind.

I was replaying everything that the Queen told me.

I didn't have any elf ancestor explaining my abnormal mana pool.

I never doubted my mother's words, but it seemed that she lied to me.

Why would she lie?

Was I a monster simply because I was reincarnated?

There had to be another explanation. 

The questions about my death and my reincarnation that I forsake suddenly once more appeared in my mind.

I tried to live this new life as if it was my first one.

However, maybe this was a mistake.

If I didn't understand what happened the day of my death, maybe I would never be able to live this life in peace. These worries filled my mind as I followed the Queen into the forest hoping to find at the end of the path the answers I sought.