Chapter 19: Trust

As soon as I realized that I couldn't understand the truth about this day on my own, I also knew exactly who could help me.

When this thought crossed my mind, I felt a fresh breeze on my neck which made me open my eyes.

I thought I would see the darkness around me once again, but I was wrong.

The smell of fresh grass was assailing my nostrils as I raised my head from the ground where I collapsed.

I blinked a few times to adjust my vision.

The blurs around me finally became clear.

I saw the faces of a dozen elves watching me with eyes filled with wonders.

“Are you okay, Sillath?”

The melodious voice of the Queen resonated in my ears.

I turned my head to look at her.

She was kneeling beside me with a worried expression on her face.

“My Queen, you mustn’t get close to him!”

The angry voice of an elf came to my ears.

I didn’t know that voice.

I turned my head and saw one of the male elves who accompanied me here.

His face was distorted by his anger and fear.

“The ‘Millennium Ancestor’ judged him guilty. He is an evil existence that we must erase right here.”

He pulled his bow and aimed at my head.

I was still crawling on the ground in front of the giant tree. However, I was ready to avoid.

Before I could move, the calm voice of the Queen stopped him.

“Calil.”

Her voice wasn’t stronger than before, but the elf stepped back immediately before putting his bow down. His front was sweating abundantly as the red eyes of the hamster fell upon him.

“It’s not up to you to judge him. It’s not the first time I see someone collapse in front of our sacred guardian. However, I never saw someone stand up after that. I don’t know why, but the decision changed. He was spared in the end, that’s the only thing we need to know.”

I saw some elves nodding in agreement.

After confirming that no one would shoot me, I stood up with difficulties.

I was exhausted, but I fixed my posture as much as I could before speaking with the Queen.

“I will tell you everything, but I need your help in return.”

The Queen smiled a little before nodding.

“Not here. Let’s go.”

We moved away from the tree.

I silently followed her.

We walked for half an hour without anyone uttering a word.

I didn’t have the strength to speak. I was shaken by this experience and wasn't in the mood to start a conversation.

We finally stopped in front of a small house made from the roots of a tree several dozen meters high. It was difficult to guess there was a house here.

This house was like everything else in this city. Not made by the elves.

I didn’t realize immediately, but when I turned my head, I saw that I was alone with the Queen. The hamster was also gone.

We entered the house together.

"Welcome to my house, Sillath. Nobody will disturb us here."

It was a really simple small house. It was difficult to believe it was the house of the Queen. The only pieces of furniture inside were a table with some chairs and a bed.

“Do you live here?”

“Yes, I do. It must be surprising for a human, but elves are very different. Our greed and material need are far inferior to yours.”

“I can only agree about that.”

I followed her inside and sat on one of her chairs. It was made of wood and seemed to come out from the ground.

While I was analyzing it, the Queen spoke again.

“The forest is our true house. We have little attachment to material values. It’s the reason why there isn’t any elven kingdom strictly speaking. Our forest is a sanctuary cut off from the conflicts in the world.”

She made a small pause before continuing with a serious face.

“Now, let’s talk about what happened. As I said earlier, the ‘Millennium Ancestor’ of our forest judges the existence of those coming in front of him. Nothing will happen to you if your existence isn’t a problem for him, but it will mercilessly crush you otherwise. Earlier, I thought you were killed, but after a few minutes, you stood up. Honestly, I don’t understand what this means, therefore I will gladly hear your explanations.”

“Well, I don’t really know where to start…”

I hesitated a few seconds, but no matter how much I hesitated, the fact that I needed her help wouldn't change. She was the only one who could allow me to leave the forest. Moreover, I also had questions for her.

I took a deep breath before telling her everything which happened since the moment I came in front of the ancient tree. It was difficult to explain. I spent a long time trying to find my words. However, the Queen didn’t interrupt me. Her serious gaze didn’t change in the slightest along my speech.

When I finished, she wore a strange expression on her face.

“Honestly, I don’t understand either what it meant by the sin of your existence. Did you tell me the entire truth?”

I hesitated to answer.

Should I tell her the truth about my reincarnation?

This question circled in my head for a long time without being able to decide.

A part of me was strongly against it. I always thought that I would bring this secret along with me in my tomb.

If I told her, there was a chance she would be able to help me, but her attitude might change after knowing the truth. 

A long silence fell in the tiny room as I was struggling with myself.

The Queen sensed my internal conflict because before I answered she stood up and made me sign to follow her.

I followed her in silence inside her house.

She came close to a wooden wall before I heard her murmur something.

After that, the mana in the room began to change. A few seconds later, the wall opened.

“Is this your nature magic ?”

I couldn’t hold back the question that was on my mind since the moment we entered the city. However, I immediately realized that it wasn’t the best moment to ask.

The Queen didn’t seem to care and answered gently.

“Yes, it is.”

“So this is a magic that can influence life… Can you…”

“You’re wrong.”

She interrupted me before I could continue.

“Nature magic isn’t about influencing or controlling life. It’s a magic to communicate. By controlling mana in its most basic form, we are able to communicate with other life forms. It’s also possible to treat others and help the body regenerate by giving this mana to accelerate the creation cycle.”

I pondered for a bit after her explanations.

It was different from what I expected.

“This magic is really different from the others.”

“You can say that. In fact, this magic use mana in its purest form, that’s one of the differences with other magic. Moreover, we don't use this mana to influence the mana of the world and the elements around us. We simply give mana to the life form to help it fulfill our request. Of course, if this life form isn't willing then there will be no result, no matter how much mana we give."

“You’re not afraid of me leaking the secret of your magic?” I asked a little dubious.

She laughed a little hearing my worries.

“Even if I teach you everything I know, this kind of magic is only possible for people who have lived a long time in contact with nature while respecting it. It’s not something humans can use. Your soul isn't compatible as you try to control everything. This magic is principally a way to communicate with nature. We don’t control the trees, but we asked them to protect us.”

I finally understood why she answered so easily. This magic was out of my reach since the beginning.

The wall finished opening while I repressed a silent sigh of disappointment. 

I followed the Queen quietly into a room plunged in total darkness.

It was impossible to see anything inside.

I had difficulties walking when the Queen grasped my hand. She had a larger hand than me, but her skin was also much smoother. I smiled a little thinking about the reactions of the elves if they saw that.

She guided me inside. I quickly realized that I was wrong.

It wasn’t a room, but a very long corridor.

After a few minutes, I noticed that we were going down. We were now under the level of the ground.

She finally stopped and murmured something.

The walls began to shake revealing a small passage large enough to allow us to enter side by side.

This time it was a large room.

I was able to say that because the room wasn't plunged into darkness. Some stones in the walls and roof were emitting a calm light.

She let go of my hand.

“What is this room?”

“This is where I study magic.”

“You study magic here?”

“Yes, look at the ground in front of us.”

I obeyed her and looked a few meters ahead.

I saw a huge circle drawn in the soil. I didn’t see it earlier because the bright stones caught my attention.

I felt my body grew cold as painful memories began to appear in my mind.

“What is this?”

“This is a magic circle, the only way to use Lost magic.”

“You know how to use Lost magic?”

“I only know how to use a couple of Lost magic because it’s completely different from other types of magic. You need to draw a complicated circle to force the mana to move according to your wish to obtain the magic you desire."

"You don't have any other way to use those magic than to draw those circles?"

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"Yes, this is the truth about what we now call Lost magic. No matter how hard you try to control the mana, it isn't possible to obtain any result without a circle. Magic is endless, but people are not. Never forget that. Moreover, to trigger a Lost magic, the circle isn't enough. Each Lost magic is different. This is because of those different ways that it became a Lost magic after the last Great War.”

I was a little curious about the Great War she mentioned because I already heard several other people talking about it.

I probably would have learned about this if I had stayed in school.

I became a little nostalgic when I thought about those peaceful times, but quickly shake off that feeling to concentrate.

"Only a handful of the most common magic using circles wasn't lost. Now, we used most of them on artifacts, but we still call them Lost magic to remember what we truly lost after the Great War."

I nodded slowly after hearing her words and came closer to inspect the circle carefully.

There was no doubt possible.

The circle was very different from the one used in my previous life.

This one had a single triangle inside while the previous one had different patterns.

The only common trait between them was the stones around the circle. There was at least a dozen of them.

“What are those stones?”

“It’s a stone able to stock mana inside. We need it to use Lost magic because the quantity of mana we need is quite large. Some stones have different attributes, but the stone here just stock raw mana and set it free when the magic trigger.”

I pondered for a bit.

Those stones looked exactly like the one in my previous world. It wasn’t possible to confirm it, but there was a high chance that it was from the same mineral.

A mineral that exists in this world and my old one.

I couldn’t tell which mineral it was but that didn’t matter. Because I realized that those two worlds might be closer than what I initially thought.

I continued to observe the circle carefully under the gaze of the Queen.

“Does each type of Lost magic use a different circle?”

I was curious to know because I understood that it was the only way to really understand what happened that day. I already knew that the old man found a way to use magic in my old world and wanted to extend his life by using my life and dozens of others before me.

I also guessed why I had more mana than others did. It was only a theory, but it was quite convincing.

However, there was one thing that was a total mystery.

Why was I reincarnated?

The magic used that day was most likely a Lost magic whose purpose was to transfer the life force he accumulated to him. It was impossible that my reincarnation was just a side effect.

“Maybe. In fact, I don’t know. I don’t have enough knowledge to answer you. I’m sorry.”

I was a little disappointed.

Since I met her, I was sure she knew everything about magic.

I shifted my gaze to look at her.

There was a limit to how much I could learn just by looking at this circle.

“Why did you bring me here?”

Her face told me she was glad that I finally stopped looking at the circle.

“I bring you here to use this circle.”

I took a step back.

I immediately realized what she was saying, but I wasn't really thrilled with her idea as I lost my life the last time I entered one of those circles.

I watched her carefully, but her face didn’t show any evil intention.

“You don’t need to be scared, Sillath. I don’t want to hurt you. This is the only way to know what our ancestor saw in you.”

"What is the effect of this circle?” I carefully asked.

“This magic circle will allow me to look at your soul. It won’t hurt, I promise.”

She was telling me not to worry.

I wanted to believe her, however, I had a disagreeable feeling. It was just like when you blindfold a beast before killing it so that it won’t struggle.

I wanted to refuse, but I needed answers.

I couldn't forget the words of the ancestor.

It was probably my only chance to find an answer.

Therefore, after a few seconds of internal struggle, I simply nodded toward her.

She smiled a little.

“Do you trust me Sillath?”

I thought a little before answering.

I didn’t know her for a long time.

In fact, I just met her. My impressions of the Queen were quite good, but everything I saw could be an act, something to deceive me. However, I had the feeling that this was her true character.

I couldn't explain it. It was an irrational and reckless feeling, but I couldn't shake it no matter what.

With her power, she could have easily subdued me a long time ago, but she preferred to spend time talking to me.

We don't judge people by how they act toward their equal, but by how they act toward those who are inferior to them.

I didn’t know if I could call it trust, but I had the feeling that this woman wouldn’t hurt me.

“I do.”

She made a beaming smile at me.

“Thank you.”

I took a step toward the circle.

I entered the circle alone and stopped in the middle of the triangle.

“Stay like this Sillath, I need some blood from you to trigger the magic”

Before I could react, a small gust of wind erupted from her. I didn’t immediately understand why I was feeling wind under the earth until I heard a small noise.

I looked at my feet and saw droplets of blood.

It took me some time to react as I didn’t understand where this blood was coming. I became nervous as I looked at my hands.

I saw a single light cut at the end of my right hand.

I almost breathe a sigh of relief when I realized it wasn’t a serious injury.

It was obvious she was a powerful wind mage. The control she had on her magic was really impressive.

A question suddenly popped up in my mind as I remembered that I also dropped blood in the previous circle.

“Why do you need blood in this magic?”

“It’s to designate the target of the magic. Now I just have to put a little of my mana to trigger the circle. The magic stones will do the rest and supply the circle with mana. As you’re the only one link to the circle right now, even if I enter the circle after the beginning of the magic, nothing would happen to me. Now, are you ready Sillath?”

Despite my nervousness, I nodded in agreement. I couldn't let go of this chance to know the truth about my death, my new life and my true nature.

Was I really a monster?

Was I really something that wasn't supposed to exist in this world?

I needed to at least try to find this answer.

The pain I felt because of the previous circle was still present in my mind. For a long time, those moments haunted my nights. However, I didn't move when she kneeled in front of the circle and put her hand on the ground.

Immediately after that, the circle began to emit some light.

It wasn’t a fierce red light like the last time, but a pink one.

The feeling inside was also very different. As promised, there wasn’t any pain. Just a small heat spreading through my body. It was comfortable, but also disturbing as if something was moving inside my body along with the heat.

The sensation lasted a few minutes until the light finally disappeared. 

“It’s over Sillath, you can come out of the circle.”

I quickly left.

Even if the sensation wasn’t painful, I didn’t want to stay inside the circle more than necessary.

I was grateful toward the Queen for keeping her promise.

After thinking about it, it was probably because she didn’t want to threaten me that she didn’t bring the monster hamster with her. 

Now that the feared moment end, I was curious about the result.

“So what did you find out?”

I waited for her answer, but she only smiled wryly.

“I’m sorry Sillath, but it will take some time to extract the information from the circle.”

“Extract the information? What do you mean?"

“This Lost magic inspected your soul and body, but to gather the information, I need to modify this circle a little and use the new one on myself.”

I understood why it was a Lost magic hard to redevelop after its near disappearance. It was too complicated and far from being convenient.

"How long will it take? I'm in a hurry so I can't just stay here for too long"

“Don't worry, I will have the result tomorrow if I stay here the entire night. This time will also allow us to gather the things I wanted to give you for your journey. You can stay in my house tonight and spent your time in the town. ”

“Thank you very much”

I began to leave when I realized something.

“By the way, what was the trigger of this Lost magic?”

Blood to designate the target, mysterious stones to supply the mana and a circle to guide it. But according to her, it also needed a 'key' to trigger the magic. Without it, the entire magic was impossible to accomplish.

Her expression changed after hearing my words. She showed a bright smile revealing her white teeth.

“It’s trust.”

I was dumbfounded.

I didn’t expect that answer at all.

"Trust?"

"Yes, only someone you trust can be allowed to look into your soul." She said while smiling.

After a few seconds, I recovered from my surprise and smiled back at her.

I finally left the room alone to return inside her little house.

I carefully sat on her bed. It was soft, but also strange. I quickly realized it was made partly with leaves. It was quite surprising, but I was too exhausted to think about that.

After talking with her for a while, I followed her advice and decided to lay down on her soft and comfortable bed.

The sweet fragrance I smelled helped me drift into the world of dreams.