The stars hung beyond that pane of glass. Enticing yet out of reach. Kai often thought that the trails of condensation on the sky light were much like prison bars. The outside world was off limits to him and so were any hope of freedom. But he could still dream.
In his mind he would pilot the helm of a space ship discovering new worlds and strange creatures. Blast alien monsters with laser pistols and many other adventures. Not too much different from any other regular child. A flight of fantasy.
But even if those goals were out of reach, he would make do with just being able to leave this building. Taste the scent of fresh air. See the city he could only hear bustling outside. Feel sand beneath his feet. Or the refreshing sensation of rain on his face. He could only imagine what these experiences felt like. Only the musky pages of a book hinted what it felt like to be unshackled.
But he owed a debt. Since the day he was born. Dilmont owned him. He wasn’t entirely sure how it started but since that moment he was born they fed him, they sheltered him and they taught him. So his debt only grew.
Kai’s amethyst eyes stared half lidded up and out of the confines of his room. His unruly mop of silver hair was… rare as far as he figured, he was the only one he knew who had this colour. Add to that his scrawny frame and it was difficult to tell whether he was a guy or a girl. There wasn’t much to their mid teen body which spoke of maturity. He could only hope that changed with time. And he eventually came out on one side or the other. At this point he didn’t know whether he cared which it was…
Just another mark of failure in my life. A despondent thought crossed his mind. He couldn’t understand how he had failed to grow out properly, but the staff liked to whisper things while they thought he was out of ear shot. Or even while they knew he could here. It depended on the staff member.
This wasn’t a subject he wished to dwell upon however. So his gaze returned to the stars above. And his mind followed shortly after.
An especially bright star twinkled through the glass. An old friend. Almost completely above him it shone with the brightest light through the smudges on the window and the haze of the city.
A rictus grin spread across his lips. He was never much good at facial expressions. But this was his own secret pleasure. One he got to keep to himself selfishly. The stars that hung above, didn’t care what he looked like. So he grinned at the twinkling lights above and delighted at the fact that they represented something real. Something greater than everyone in the building, so much so that they were visible for light years. It made all his troubles seem so insignificant.
“Kai! Are you in here?” Comes a melodic call. An energetic thump hits the door, the silence is broken. Kai quickly hides his face behind a sleeve. His grin is not for others to see.
“Ya-Yeah! I’m here… just a m-moment.” His lips fight his attempt at being understood. Unfamiliar shapes and sounds. Unpractised words and intent. He hated talking to people. But he hated being misunderstood more.
The door flung open regardless. Light spills into the dark room, banishing the view above by covering it in well lit reflections. He had no choice to return to reality now.
“What… did you need.” He asks gaining control over his voice. A tight leash on his words makes them clearer. But the effort is exhausting.
There stands Alex. Confident and self assured. At least that’s the impression she projects outward. She mothers their little group, but most of them think of her as the big sister instead. Well, most may not include me, I’m unsure where I stand yet. No matter how much she reaches out to me, I may as well be a stranger.
She is the oldest of their group, turning 20 not long ago. Kai was only welcomed into the group a couple of years prior, even after Emily had lived with them for longer. So although Emily was the youngest of the group, Kai often felt like he was instead. Or at least an intruder on an already existing family.
So as Alex opened her arms for her customary hug an awkward silence hangs in the air. An obvious result. And one that had happened many times before.
Kai slouches and hugs his own arm. He can’t meet her eyes, he doesn’t feel like he deserves her affection. But she gives it anyway. Like the duty of an older sister. It’s her role to fill, so she fills it with the upmost fervour. Maybe she goes a little over board. But Kai doesn’t know any other older sisters to compare her too.
Eventually as the silence stretches on, Kai takes a peek upward. Alex’s familiar figure comes into view. Athletic, yet feminine. A blond ponytail hangs down her back. But most striking of all are her eyes. The multiple pupils see all. She always seems to see every last detail. With one eye a spiral of small black pupils and the other a starburst of them instead, it’s no wonder she can seem to see straight through people. Both eyes shimmer in different colours. From one moment to the next they may flow from one colour to the next.
Kai doesn’t know whether eyes like these are common, but he thinks that Alex’s eyes are beautiful. The rest of the staff seem to have trouble holding her gaze however. He can only think it’s a shame more people don’t take their time to notice them…
And her arms wrap around him. Tired of waiting for him to reciprocate. She administers a dose of sisterly love. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day. And here I find you cooped up in this dreary dark room again all by yourself. Come and show your face occasionally OK?”
Kai could only stiffly nod. What else could he do? Close contact didn’t have a manual, there were no classes on it either. Yet Alex always seemed to want to heap it on him. Hugs, head pat, reassuring touches on the shoulder. He didn’t deserve any of this. Failures only needed to think about repaying their debts.
Eventually she lets go. Satisfied that she’d imbued something intangible quality into him. “Come on, I came to get you for food. It’s dinner time already. Could you see to it that Emily washes her hands before getting hers? I’ve gotta go find Gamma, and then pull their head out of a book. Most likely…”
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Kai nodded hesitantly. Emily would skip that step unless prompted. And while she dragged that rabbit around all day, it couldn’t be too sanitary. So it was best to get her to put it away for meal times at least and wash her hands. But there was a problem, he didn’t have the best of relations with the girl. Would she even listen to him?
— ~ —
Kai found her not playing with her plushie rabbit, nor reading a children's book, but crying over a mess on the floor. The remains of a portion of stew lay scattered over the old kitchen tiles. A bowl over turned where it fell. Kai sighed at the mini disaster scene.
“W-what happened here?” Kai asked in exasperation. A series of emotions played across her face.
First was surprise as she realise she’d been caught, then guilt, then she remembered she wasn’t supposed to be talking to Kai. And this is why I’m no good with Emily.
The diminutive girl with long black hair pouts. The rabbit plush in her arms is hugged even tighter. But Kai could see her peek through the unruly fringe of hair she keeps to hide her face. Her bottom lip trembles as she waits for the tongue lashing.
“Why don’t you clean up. I’ll get this…” Kai sighs in resignation. Voice little more than a whisper. But Emily heard him.
A tinge of embarrassed red on her cheeks she scuttled off to wash her hands. While Kai began to clean up the mess. Thankfully she managed to avoid any spilling on her clothes.
Practised hands found cloths and cleaning supplies behind creaking plywood cabinets. The kitchen area was one of the few rooms he spent most of his days. Like the rest of the living space it felt claustrophobic and restricting. The walls came nowhere near being a physical hindrance, there was plenty of space for this small family to move around.
But everything was just as it was. Rigid in their form. Every action had been taken countless times. There was no room for new experiences. Just the same repeated tedium of just… living. But at least this cell is larger than my last.
While Kai was scrubbing the floor, trying to rid the excess stew from the inaccessible crack in the floor tile, he noted a fidgety Emily across the counter. She may have cleaned up, but that didn’t mean her portion had returned. Only three bowls lay on the counter. Brian wouldn’t return for a little while, so his portion was packed away in the fridge. Not that it would be enough for him anyway, he always works up an appetite from exercise.
“You can have my portion.” He wouldn’t need it. He could make do without. It wasn’t the first time he’d gone hungry. The staff from his previous accommodation often forgot to feed the failure. I wouldn’t want to waste anymore ingredients anyway. I can’t increase my debt. This way he could save on food quota for the group.
“Ah, no, that would be…” Emily fidgets. Caught between wanting to feel mad at Kai, but also feeling hunger for her missing dinner. She couldn’t give into his kindness, otherwise her grudge would become meaningless. The battle played out on her face, shifting from one expression to another. Kai could almost read her thought process.
“It’s fine. I’m not hungry. I’ll have a bar instead.” Giving up on the grime between the cracks in the tiles he throws the cloth into the laundry pile. Plucking a dry cereal bar from the cupboard he waggles it to demonstrate that he has something to eat. Emily hangs her head, but nods.
“Thanks…” With little guilty glances she starts to sip at her stew. But in all honesty Kai didn’t feel that hungry. Placing the bar in his pocket he began to wash the dishes.
Emily looked a little like a rabbit herself as she munched away at her food. A quiet rhythm filled the room. The clank of dishes and Emily’s steady pace. It was peaceful. No extraneous thoughts were needed. Another moment for Kai’s mind to drift.
He couldn’t loose himself completely to his imagination, because of Emily’s presence, but at least he could paint a scene or two.
He felt that creepy smile want to crawl onto his face but kept his muscles rigid. No one wanted to see that. He could escape now that his mind had found a moment of quietness.
His imagination filled with another sort of purpose. Not the steady continued existence here but the many different roles he could fill in his inner world. From an engineer tinkering with a tech beyond his imagination, to a navigator charting a path between celestial hazards.
A sharp knock breaks him from his fugue. Dishes clatter at the unexpected sound. Both Kai and Emily pause to take a nervous glance at the conspicuous security door at the end of the room. Who? Which staff member will it be this time? Few tended to knock, always barging in with little thought to privacy. Which means it’s probably…
The sound of the electronic lock opened with a shunk. Both Kai and Emily breathed a sign of relief as Jessica entered the room. She was in her early thirties, not that she would admit to it. A pristine uniform hugged her figure. Neatly tamed brunette locks framed her face. Which she schooled into a blank expression. That was until she saw Emily chomping away at her stew.
A silent sigh leaves her lips. Hauling a weighty set of shopping bags she carries her burden into the room, allowing the door to automatically lock behind her.
“Alex again? I’ve told her to leave the cooking to staff members.” She peers into the empty pot to inspect the food. Nothing can be gleaned from the mysterious brown stains that lay within however. “What did she cook in the end?”
“Mystery stew?” Kai answers, a little mystified himself. He didn’t even get to taste it in the end.
Jessica sighs. “I swear she does this on purpose. I’ll have to ask the ingredients she used later, R&D will want to know what your nutrient intake is.” She makes a mental note of what she needs to do before turning to Kai. “So you and Epsilon have eaten then? Have the rest?”
Jessica always treats everyone by the book. But unlike most she seems to hide concern behind duty and formality. She acts as distant as the rest of the staff. But would still go out of the way to fulfil their needs. As a result Emily and Kai could relax in her presence, but Alex always seemed to butt heads with her. Always in fear that her role as the group mother would be stolen away. But everyone thinks of you as the big sister Alex, not much chance of that changing now.
“Brian’s out, Alex was getting Gamma.” Kai answers getting a nod of acknowledgement in return. The room goes silent once more.
The pensive atmosphere continues for a little longer as Kai and Jessica work towards washing the dishes. It becomes obvious that something is on the tip of her tongue but words seem to have lost their way to her lips.
“Chi…” She starts. “How have you been doing.” Before bottling it.
“Fine.” Knowing she meant no harm didn’t make it any less nerve racking to talk to a staff member though.
Emily walks up to place her dish on the bench. She gives Kai an apologetic look before scampering back to her room. Her rabbit, Hoppity, clutched tight in her grip the entire time.
Silence returns as Kai begins on Emily’s dishes. It’s only a few breaths of silence before Jessica gathers the courage to talk once more.
“Listen. I can’t really say much. It’s more than my jobs worth to say even this much…” Taking a deep breath she whispers her warning. “Things have been happening outside. The world is changing. And hopefully for the better.”
Kai gives her a glance. The cryptic message going way over his head.
“But Dilmont has plenty of skeletons it would much rather keep in the closet. You understand right, stay safe OK?”
Kai shook his head. He wished for change but didn’t like it when the unexpected was foisted upon him. What danger? All he wanted to do was pay off his debt and taste a little freedom. What hurdles would change throw at him? He didn’t like it.
The professional facade that Jessica maintained cracks a little. Regret tinges her eyes. “Look, just stay together for the next few days. Try not to leave the living space. Let this all blow over.”
He nods, not that there is much he could do. But agreeing seemed the quickest way to end this uncomfortable topic. The rest of the dishes were done in companionably silence. At least that’s what Kai thinks. Worry plays over Jessica’s face as the fate of these kids hangs in the balance.