“Hello, Sir! Give me 100 pieces of this ‘paper’ please!!”
The old mage shoved himself in front of the counter as he asked for a bundle of sheets. Behind him, a big, fat merchant wearing almost everything in gold, who had been pushed away by the mage, came forward with an angry expression on his face.
“Get away, you old nerd! How dare you try to cut into the line? Sir, don’t listen to him. Give me those rectangular things called ‘soap’. And that white gooey liquid, what’s its name again?”
“Shampoo?”
“Yeah, that too. Hey, how did you know about that, you old nerd?”
The fat man asked, flabbergasted by the quick response of the old mage. He couldn’t believe that an old ascetic like him knew about shampoo.
“Hmph, you think you are the only one who buys Sir’s hair products? See my silky hair and feel the majestic breath of mana in it." The old mage snorted and showcased his long, grayed, silky hair to the fat merchant in response to his shocked expression.
“Get these stinky, grayed-out hairs of yours out of my face, you old fart. Sir, ignore this 100-year-old virgin and pack my items first.”
The merchant, disgusted by the mage, ignored him and requested me to pack his ordered items first. Seeing his silky hair ignored, and on top of that, being called a virgin, the old mage fumed as he threatened the merchant in front of him.
“The fuck you say, you fat-carrying lump of meat? Do you want me to summon a meteorite on your estate?” Slowly, grey mana slowly started to swirl around him as he looked at the merchant in front of him.
“And with what you will summon a meteorite, your 100-year-old virgin mana?” But the fat merchant was nowhere near scared as he snorted and again made fun of the old mage and his virginity.
“Grrr... Don’t you dare go after my years of celibacy and meditation!! Don’t you know how challenging it is to become an archmage, you fatso?”
“Yeah! Yeah! Then don’t go calling me fat, you sick, virgin, old nerd.”
While the two engaged in a verbal war of insults, a woman, or should I say, a great dragon in human form came from behind me.
“What the hell is happening here?”
“!!”
“!!”
The old mage and the fat merchant, at once stopped their fight as they heard the voice of the woman. The two, terrified of her stood at attention almost instantly as they shed buckets of sweat. But ignoring those two, the woman turned to me as her dark, jet-black eyes looked into my eyes.
“Are they disturbing you?”
Asking that, she then turned to both of them as black mana slowly surrounded her.
“N-No!! It’s this fat lump that is disturbing sir, O mighty black dragon!” The old mage bailed the merchant as he saw the frightful black mana of the black dragon. In a moment, the respectful archmage turned into a scaredy little cat. The merchant, who saw the mage blaming him, got shocked as he too jumped into the wagon of the blame game.
“WHAT! It’s not true. Each day, this old virgin comes here to buy the paper from Sir and keeps bothering him when he is occupied. Great Dragon! I have come after 4 days because the stock of the shampoo and soap that I bought from Sir has been exhausted, the merchant said as he strove to quell the black dragon's wrath.
That's for the research of mana that will save mankind, you fool. But you, you are just wasting money on washing that big fat lump you call your body with Sir’s out-of-the-world thing called soap. Even the soap would be crying in the corner, while they smell like you, like a farm pig?”
“You old fart, come outside. Let’s see if that magic of yours can save that dried ass of yours from me now!!” The merchant couldn’t hold himself any longer, as the mage continued to insult him in front of me and the black dragon beside me.
“You are too young to even see magic, you fatso.”
Just as things were starting to get interesting, the black dragon decided to step in and stop their meaningless squabble.
“Oye, you lump of fat and old fart. Don’t you see the line behind you? If you are so eager to die today, then let me make that wish come true.”
The woman, so beautiful and charming, grew dark, jet-black scales around her neck as the area around the voice box slowly started to turn lava orange.
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“Hiik!! O mighty black dragon, quell your anger. Arghh!! You fat fuck, because of you, I was not able to buy the premium papers. Just you wait, the mage association will make you suffer.”
“Go away, you old coot. Let those bands of nerds do whatever they want. The merchant association will make you pay for this.”
“Get the fuck out, you two, or else, be ready to be served as my dinner today.”
“Hiiikk!!”
Both of them sprinted out of the shop at the speed of light, leaving behind a trail of dust. The woman beside me also reverted back to her usual charming form.
“Calm down. See, you look more beautiful when you are calm.”
“W-What?!”
The black dragon, who, from her hair to her toes wore black, got a pinkish hue on her fair cheeks. The blush she gets when she receives a compliment is what I like to see. I then took out 100 sheets of paper and soap and shampoo from the rack.
“Now, now. Calm down and-”
I then moved her behind the counter where I stood and walked out of the store.
“??”
The black dragon, still blushing looked at me as a question mark hovered over her head.
“Take care of the store for a moment for me, hehe.”
In an instant I left the store, knowing what would follow was an outburst of the same cute, blushing black dragon, calling me by god knows what names, but before that, I had already left.
“Now, let’s start getting our products in the right hands.”
With the 100 sheets and box of shampoo and soap in my hands, I deposited them in the storage and headed straight to the mage.
“Sir mage!!”
“Hmm? Sir, what are you doing here?”
The old mage was surprised as he saw me running towards him. In a worried tone, the old mage looked at me as I tried to catch my breath.
“Sir Mage, here are the 100 sheets of paper that you asked for."
From the storage, I pulled out the bundle of sheets and gave them to him. With a look of shock on his face, the mage looked at me with questions in his eyes.
“You came all the way from that huge mountain and returned empty-handed. I can’t bear the loss the whole mage association would face if they couldn't get the supplies in time.”
“O-Ohh…” The mage got emotional as he started to shed tears. To uplift this emotional situation, I then executed the plan I had been waiting to execute.
“*Whisper* Just so you know, these 100 sheets are of even better quality that the one you are buying before. Because these sheets are made with a more complicated process than the ones from before, I didn’t give you till I had enough stock.”
“S-Sir?!”
The mage got even more teary-eyed as he couldn’t suppress the emotions bubbling out of him. His hands trembled while he held the bundle of ‘valuable’ sheets I gave him.
A little pinch of lies, mixed with my great acting skills is all it took to get my plan on track so easily. Now, for the final touch in this act.
“This is something I was planning to introduce in the market later this week, but seeing as you are going from my shop empty-handed, I have to give it to you now.”
“Oh Sir, Sob this old man is forever in your debt. With these, the mystery of magic will surely be passed on more precisely to the next generation. Sir, if that fatso tried to harm you in any way, just give us a call. The whole mage association will be at your service.”
Hell Yeah!! The old mage has finally been caught in my trap. With him expanding the reach of my store among the mage community, I will surely level up my store even more, HAHA!!
Now, let’s head out and rope in a big, fat bag of coins for our store.
“Sir Merchant!!”
After I separated from the old mage, I walked in the opposite direction from where the fat merchant was headed. On the way, I finally found his carriage.
“Hmm, Sir?” the fat merchant got out of the carriage as he heard my voice. The guards, who were protecting the carriage, also followed him.
“*Pant*Sir, you sure are fit when you are a tad healthy. Guess Sir Mage has no idea how fit you are.”
“Haha!! I knew you would say that. But what reason have you come to me, running? Did I do something wrong?”
A little bit of flattery and boom, the customer is is hooked. Hehe!! Now, time to end my plan.
“No, no. Take these. Your stock of shampoo and soap. *Whisper* And as a bonus, I have added lavender-flavored soap inside this time. Your wife will surely love it.”
“What’s lavender by the way?”
Just take it, you fatty!!
“Just take it and give it to your wife. Just don't give it to anyone until I officially release it on the market. You know, being in this line, secrecy means a lot.”
“Surely, Sir! I will protect this secret even if it means assembling the entire merchant association. This product will not see the face of anyone in this world, except me and my wife, Sir.”
“Then I have no problem. Be safe on your way, Sir Merchant.”
“Bye Sir! Hey, let’s go. I cannot wait to show the new soap sir has given to my wife.”
Phew! My plan was finally implemented successfully. Now, I just have to wait and watch.
“You have a lot of time, leaving me behind to look for the shop while here you are.”
Suddenly, a jet-black figure arose beside me with the exact same voice that I always hearTurningng towards the figure, I found the black dragon, with an annoyed expression looking at me.
“Hehe! Sorry, sorry. It’s just, I am just roping in those two to get the new products, you know.”
“Hmph, you know that you are a blatant liar. What did you say? The lavender one hasn’t been released on the market yet. And that the paper you sold to that old nerd is even better? Then they are fools that haven’t seen the stash of thousands of ‘new’ products you have been hiding in the basement.”
“Shhh!! It’s a strategy, you know. And you are the one to talk to when every night you bathe while using every single soap my world has ever created.”
When she entered my life, the black dragon always tried every product I brought with me into this world. Yet look at her, acting like she hasn’t touched a single thing.
“Hmph!! I, the mighty black dragon, have every right to try the most fragrant soap of your world.”
There it is, the same cute black dragon with her haughty attitude, who once came in front of my shop in her majestic dragon form. I cannot even comprehend how the black dragon that got her interest ‘piqued’ because of my shop has now turned to what is standing beside me.
“Yeah, yeah. Now let’s go.”
You want to know how I got here, in this world of swords and magic, with a store out of nowhere and a black dragon around me? Then come and know my story.
“At our Isekai grocery store.”