An old man takes a deep breath and exhales. His breathing continues, slowly evening out.
Damn, how many of those do I have in me? He asks as he stares at the white hospital ceiling with hazy eyes. His body lay limp on the common, generic bed you'd find in any hospital. And his mind… It was fading…
The man lets out a sigh. I'm dying… He thinks, not quite sure how to feel about it. Why… does it feel so familiar? He wonders, also unsure.
The man begins to think back on his life and lets out another exhale, before a smirk appears on his face. Fuck… Was it worth it? He begins to wonder.
For as long as the man could remember, he did what he thought he was supposed to. He went to college, found a job, found a wife, bought a home, had children, and now… Now he was dying.
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If he thought about it, his life was wild, even if it was boring and monotonous. There was one point where he thought he’d be a millionaire. He invested so much into those stocks that he thought he’d be set; then one day they just crashed. There was one point where he thought he was truly in love; but that girl stole his heart and left for another man. There was one point where he thought his son would surpass all he ever could be; but he got addicted to drugs and was now wandering the streets. When his faith in life and humanity was at the bottom, his faith was renewed with his daughter. She did life right, she became educated, got married to a good man, and had a set future career. But she died young.
Was it worth it? The man wonders again. Was it worth it to see all that? He asks himself. The man smirks again. Fuck yeah it was worth it. I dared to love and this pain I’m feeling is proof of that. God giveth and he taketh away, but I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t do it all again. For all that the bastard gave me, and the heartache it cost, damn me if I didn’t love it all again. He thinks before he lets out a forced laugh. His laughter turns into a coughing fit and his heart rate monitor begins to beep.
Fuck. Can’t even let me gloat? You bastard. He thinks before beginning to calm his breathing.
The man lets out another sigh. But damn does it hurt… It hurts so much… He thinks. A tear escapes his eye, then slowly but surely, tears began to stream out of his eyes. The man lets out another cough. Fuck, stop crying. You’re still a man. I might be dying but I sure as hell won’t let that bastard see me cry. He thinks before forcing another cough.
The man continues to breath. Yeah, I’d do it again, bitch. Come at me. He thinks, daring a higher power.