chapter 8
I was still crying, “I was so wrong about you, Michael… Please forgive me.”
He shook his head in regret, “It’s hard to get the true answers, when nobody is there to give them…”
I jolted from that remark, as he hit the nail on the head without knowing it, “You have no idea how true that really is…”
“You still had Oliver and AI, their friendship and loyalty is true.”
I stopped thinking about my past life as I realised he was talking about the last year, “Oh Oliver and AI? Yeah… Priceless friends.”
Both of us had nothing left to say as everything was all said and done. My confusion was over. The truth was revealed. I leaned back on the sofa as AI appeared on the screen.
She smiled at me, “Andrew, I told you Michael was a friend.”
“Yes, once more you are correct. What else do you know but don’t tell me, AI?”
“I am quickly learning that information is more potent when given at the correct time.”
I nodded, “True.” What else could I say, knowledge is power after all.
I spent a few moments thinking... What does AI know?
“AI… What do you know about me?”
“I have memorised every conversation, every action and every detail I have on you since the operation.”
What about… Before I met the angels?”
“I don’t have a lot of information about you Andrew. Just a social media page full of old addresses and a few friends.”
“Is that really all you have, or are you holding out on me?”
“No Andrew, that is all I know. Why?”
I thought intensely, “... I don’t want you to look up anything on me before the angels please, AI.”
Her face was deeply concerned, “Andrew, that is concerning. Were you involved in criminal activities?”
“No, Just please don’t look into it…”
“Very well, I will leave that area in the dark, Andrew.”
“Thank you, that means a lot to me.”
Michael looked at me with fascination. We met eyes, as I tried my hardest to give him a look. A look that said, ‘I want to leave the past behind me’. He instantly recognised that as he nodded and went back to looking out the window.
Before anyone had time to think of my strange request, the front door opened. I looked at the time above AI, 4:21 PM. Of course, Oliver was back! He will no doubt have many questions about today. It was time for my therapy I supposed.
I slowly stood up as I waited for Oliver to enter the living room. Instead, four people entered. Oliver entered first, then Ashley and behind her was… Aisling and Nadia… This was an unexpected honour. I stood there, dazed to see the two of them. I looked behind them before Ashley closed the front door and I could see at least 4 agents standing in the passageway, with assault rifles in hand. The security of the Angels was critical for AI. I looked back at the angels as Aisling waved with a smile.
“Hi, would you mind if we visited for a spell?”
I was confused, “This is your building… You can do as you please.”
Ashley piped up, “Grrr, you keep saying that like it matters!”
“It’s true though… This is not my place, I’m just permitted to stay here.”
Nadia took a step forward, “All you need to do is ask, and we will sign this apartment over to you in an instant.”
“I can’t afford to buy it from you…”
“No Andrew, it will be a gift, for free.”
I stared her in the eyes and stated angrily, “Nothing in life is free!”
Everyone recoiled in surprise. I hadn’t even realised that I had become that angry.
I slightly bowed, “Sorry, I apologise… I didn’t realise I was this irate… Sorry.” I put my hands in the air in surrender.
Ashley looked at Michael and he nodded as he grabbed the pills from his back pocket. He held out two tablets for me to take and I took them without a single second of objection. I couldn’t afford to burn bridges with the Roses leadership.
Aisling and Nadia remained where they were as they simply looked at me, as if waiting for something. Oh!
“Of course you can stay. I am always grateful for everyone’s company. Please take a seat.”
They smiled and sat down and so did I. Ashley and Michael stayed standing in the corner, seemingly exchanging intel. Oliver sat down next to me, and I was so happy to see him. I wanted to get straight into talking about today, when I realised that Aisling and Nadia had their red eye monitors on.
“I um… I don’t know what the procedure is. I have never had Rose leadership- Oh wait, AI…”, I realised AI was also Rose leadership.
Nadia chuckled, “Andrew, we come here in an informal manner. It’s just a visit, we all can speak plainly here.”
I just blurted out the first thought I had to test Nadia’s claim, “You two look very… Intimidating with the red monitors on your eyes.”
Nadia chuckled as they both took their little screens off and put them on the table. They really did look so much better without them.
“Sorry AI, I think you just lost two sets of eyes” I meekly said.
AI instantly responded, “I don’t need to see you to enjoy your company.”
Aisling perked up in surprise, “AI… I’ve never heard you speak like that before?”
AI looked down in a frown as she said nothing.
I leaned back on the sofa, once again surprised at how few people AI spoke with. I don’t even need to make my case anymore, surely AI was realising from people's reactions, that she needed to try harder.
Oliver chuckled as he leaned forward, “Ok, enough bullying AI. I personally have far more interesting things to talk about right now.” He looked at me with an emotionless face.
I looked at the angels feeling hesitant, “Right, therapy time… In front of the angels… This will be interesting.”
“We can talk in your room in private if you want?” He politely offered.
“No… No more hiding.”
Oliver looked at me, deep in thought, “Andrew, let’s start with… You deserving your torture.”
He said it so casually, it had actually even surprised me. Aisling and Nadia were shocked with how directly Oliver spoke to me. They had no idea how much I had laid bare my soul to Oliver.
“What more is there to say? I wanted to humiliate good people and I felt unbearable shame when I realised they were genuinely honest people…”
He quickly responded, “So you felt you deserved three weeks of inhumane torture?”
Ashley turned quickly to Oliver, “Jeeezus Oliver! Tone it down would you?!”
Oliver stared at her emotionlessly, “If you don’t like our therapy style, get out.”
Michael chuckled, “Oh Ashley, if you could hear some of their first talks… It would make you want to kill yourself.”
Aisling was mortified, “Andrew, are you really ok with this?”
I looked at Aisling for a moment, “When talking about uncomfortable topics, it’s easier to accept an uncomfortable atmosphere.”
Oliver looked back at me as he let out an impatient breath. I put my hand on his lap to show him I was still paying full attention.
I posed him a question, “Oliver… What is enough punishment for evil intentions?”
“Not three weeks of horrifying torture…”
“Depends on the person and the context, doesn't it? Wanting to slap a politician is hardly a crime, but wanting to slap a baby is despicable.”
“Yes true, I see where you are going with this. Still, I think there’s a strong argument that your self punishment was excessive.”
I closed my eyes as I thought to myself. I would have mentioned that it wasn’t the only reason, as I had alluded to the fact that I had nothing to lose. I supposed nobody really picked up on that, thankfully.
Michael then spoke, “You said you had nothing left to lose, Andrew. I won’t push it, but this is clearly related to what you mentioned earlier.”
I spoke frustratingly, “Yes Michael, here I was hoping nobody picked up on that…”
Oliver lightly slapped my knee, “Are you keeping secrets? Holding back important information?”
I opened my eyes and looked straight into Olivers.
“Leave my past alone.” I couldn’t possibly have made it any clearer than that.
Oliver looked away as he realised he had just reached a no crossing zone. He breathed out impatiently, and I saw him let it go in his mind.
“Ok Andrew, next question. Do you think your sacrifice was still for the right reasons?”
“Absolutely. Even though I felt I deserved the pain, I still mainly did it to protect the angels- These lovely people.” I gestured towards the two angels I had nearly forgotten were sitting right there.
Aisling and Nadia both stared at me with sad faces as Michael stepped forward with deep interest.
“Since we are being honest with each other, how about we take the rare opportunity to hear the uncandid opinions of the angels?”
Nadia looked uncomfortable, “What do you want to know?”
He crouched to her eye level, “How do you feel about what Andrew did?”
She looked down at the table for a few moments, “It’s terrible what happened to you, Andrew.”
Michael pushed, “I asked how you feel.”
Nadia looked at me and then to Michael, “What Ronald did was horrific…”
Michael was about to push again when I got tired of the exchange.
I put my foot down, “Michael, please stop.”
He stared at me frustratingly, “Come on, she’s not answering the question!”
“You should be asking yourself why she isn’t, Michael…”
He looked at Nadia for a few moments, realising her extreme discomfort, “Oh…”
I took a moment to think about how to calm this situation.
“Michael, there are major differences between Nadia and Aisling. Aisling is the dreamer, the inspiration. She wears her emotions on her sleeve, and uses it to convey conviction, faith and hope.”
“Nadia is a visionary. She sees the way to turn the dream into reality. She needs to find solutions, create strong arguments and have unwavering determination towards accomplishing the dream.”
Michael looked at me slightly confused, “Yes, I know this, what’s your point?”
I looked at him, “She can’t afford to let her emotions compromise her vision. She needs to be resolute, the very image of control.”
“So she can’t have feelings?”
“No, she simply can’t react to them. She bottles her emotions, puts each one on a shelf, labelled. She can look at them, feel them, but not react to them.”
“Oh come on Andrew, that’s not true-”
Michael stopped as it was apparent that I hit the nail on the head, because Nadia was crying intensely. Aisling instantly wrapped her arm around Nadia to comfort her. After a long moment, Nadia finally managed to speak.
“You know me far too well Andrew, it’s uncanny…”
I stared at the table for a while, “In my life, I’ve had to be a good judge of character…”
AI spoke up, “Andrews character reading skills are truly impressive. It’s how he made the agent summaries and cards.”
Aisling looked at Michael, then to me as her face lit up brilliantly.
“You two finally spoke, didn’t you?”
Michael smiled, “Yeah, I think we’re good now.”
I looked at Michael, “Yeah, we are.”
He looked at me, before he suddenly realised something, “Oi, my card! I want to see it!”
I reached into my hoodie’s internal pocket, pulled it out and I offered it to him. For a moment he just looked at it in my hand, as if it was the most precious gift ever. He took the card from me and looked at it.
“Yeah, military experience bla bla, crucial to the Roses bla bla..” He read through the card.
“What’s this? Small writing at the end…”
He read it out slowly, “My hero, you inspired me to stand again. You inspire me to be stronger. May you forever stand as a giant hope for all, as I humbly rest in your shadow.”
By the time he finished reading it, he was smiling. He looked truly honoured.
“I don’t deserve this Andrew…”
“You really are my hero, Michael. You may not see yourself that way, but to me, you’re Hercules.”
Aisling looked at Michael with a smile, “You’ve been priceless to us Michael, it cannot be understated.”
Nadia looked at me, “You both have been foundationally critical to our success, without you two, we would surely have failed.”
I stared into the distance, “And so the dominoes fall, into a perfect picture of the Roses.”
*
I wondered about Aisling and Nadia. This was my first opportunity to truly speak with them, face to face. Many questions swirled in my mind when Nadia broke my distraction.
She frowned, “You’re not what I expected, Andrew”
“What exactly did you expect?”
… I expected that you would hate us…”
“Why would I hate you?”
“Because… We’ve been so successful…”
“Not without difficulty, or so you’ve told me. That’s good though, isn’t it?”
She suddenly looked very sad, “But you, however…”
I should have seen that was what she was implying. What did people want me to do? Scream at everyone for the things I had lost?
“If I were to release my anger and regret on you or anyone else here, I would burn the only bridges I have left. Nadia, this is all I have now, the people in this room…”
Oliver nudged me, “I already promised you, that I will never abandon you, even if I have to leave the Roses.”
Michael seemed frustrated, “Why the hell are you so damn afraid of people leaving you?”
I looked away immediately, feeling vulnerable. I really didn’t want to answer that question. Michael had this tendency to read between the lines, far too well. Several moments passed and everyone realised I wasn’t going to answer. Aisling was looking at the table when she broke the silence.
“Andrew, tomorrow we will be discussing you in particular. For that reason, I would appreciate it, if you didn’t try to watch the meeting, or ask anybody about what we are talking about.”
“Am I still allowed to go to the headquarters?”
She smiled, “Of course, you promised me, right?”
I nodded, “Yeah, I know.”
Aisling and Nadia stood up, for it was getting late and they still needed to return to HQ. They both hugged me before they opened the door and walked out the apartment where the waiting agents were standing with their assault rifles. I noticed they all had black roses on their chests. I noticed Ashley and Michael leaving as well, but they seemed very… I couldn’t put my finger on what was strange about them.
The door shut and it was just Oliver and I standing in the passageway.
“What do black roses mean?”
He scratched his head, “They're a…kind of unique collective of agents…”
“Oh, what’s so unique about them?”
“They were the orphans and homeless that Aisling and Nadia first helped.”
“I see, so why do they have black roses though?”
He shrugged, “... I think it’s better you learn that from one of them yourself, mate.”
It was odd. I had made cards for nearly all the agents at that stage… Why hadn’t I known about this? Had I just never noticed the black roses?... No I would have. Definitely. I think I had simply not seen these people.
“Well, that’s the first time I’ve ever seen one of them. I hope I get to see one again, so I can ask their story.”
“That would normally be much easier said than done, but they now know of you, Andrew, they might be more… Facilitating.”
Very mysterious. I found myself very curious about them. The next day I would keep my eyes peeled for any black roses. For now though, time to sleep, or rather try to sleep.
*
The nightmare began to play out, the angels letting me rest in their lap… Then it stopped and nothing happened as I simply lay there looking up at the two of them smiling.
“Andrew.”
I opened my eyes... It felt as though I had a better night's sleep again. I moved my arms and legs… The pain was much less. Yes, I definitely had a better sleep again.
Mumbling in grogginess, “How long did I manage to sleep AI?”
She instantly answered, “Seven hours and twelve minutes.”
I rubbed my eyes and slowly sat up. It barely hurt as I found myself sitting up as if I had never even tried. Words couldn’t describe how incredible it was, to manage to sleep well, after nearly a year of nightmares.
I look over to AI’s tablet, “Let’s not ruin this good day with carelessness shall we?” I slowly climbed out of bed.
AI was smiling, “Indeed, I will endeavour to predict any complications today.”
“Thanks, AI.”
I showered quickly, got dressed and went to the lounge. I was very pleased to see Ashley there, however she was with Michael. They were watching what seemed like a firearm presentation.
“The Roses aren’t afraid of guns it seems.” I said as I walked through the living room doorway.
Ashley coldly replied, “Neither are criminals like the Bruiges…”
I waited for the video to end, for it was an interesting topic, about misfiring and gun maintenance. The screen changed to AI afterwards, she was holding a pistol sideways up close to the screen.
“So therefore, after the tragic injury that happened last night, I will be watching every agent today as they clean and inspect their firearms, no exceptions.”
Michael tapped his pistol on the right of his waist, “You know I do it every morning without fail.”
AI nodded, “Yes, your military training has ingrained that habit, please continue in such fashion.”
Ashley didn’t have a gun on her today, “Tonight I'll show you as I clean my personal glock.”
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AI smiled, “Thank you Ashley, please remember that being a good shot means nothing if your gun jams.”
“Yeah yeah yeah…” Ashley waved dismissively in a bored manner.
They both stood up looking at me… Were they both escorting me?
“Is there a reason why the two best agents are here?”
Michael walked to the front door, “You’re a popular guy, let’s go.”
Ashley got in front of me as she looked over my face, “Hold on, let’s take a look… Yeah, your face is less pink again. This time… We won’t fuck it up, headphones are by the door.”
I grabbed the headphones and put them on as I exited the apartment. The drive was uneventful, other than the torrential rain. Michael helped me out of the car and I tried to walk as quickly as I could to the entrance as the rain was soaking me.
The foyer was mostly empty as expected, it was 10:32 AM, everyone was out doing their job for the day. I noticed all the large screens were off. That must have been AI preventing me from seeing the meeting about me.
“I hope I'm not in trouble…” I whispered just loud enough that AI heard me in my hearing aids.
“Of course not Andrew, don’t worry about it.”
Michael was behind me, “Andrew, I must go to the meeting myself, so I will come eat with you at break, ok?”
“Alright…” I was still worried.
AI spoke gently, “Andrew, I promise you, this is not something bad we are meeting on. Please try to relax your mind.”
I wondered what it was though. Was that about the apartment? Or was that about agents wasting their time with me? There was just too much to worry about. I scratched my head and walked to the cafe. I wasn’t going to get any answers, so I might as well get some food.
Heartly was yelling again at the back of the kitchen.
“Turnips again? You have got to be- Ok, fine, let me taste that…” A moment passed.
“That’s EXACTLY as mediocre as I thought it would be! Why on God's green earth are people turnip crazy?! And why the hell did all my screens turn off?”
AI’s voice bounced across the kitchen, “Because Andrew is here.”
“Oh, I’ll be there now Andrew mate!”
I saw his massive body come walking in through one of the kitchen isles. He instantly pulled out my containers of soup. There were two containers again, I noticed. I guessed I was eating for two once more.
“Morning sir, thanks for the food, I will eat it at lunch if that’s alright?”
“Ah, waiting to eat with mates eh?”
“... Yeah.”
He smiled, “I saw how much you enjoyed their company last time, can’t say I’m surprised you want to eat with company again.”
I looked at the containers for a few moments, deep in thought.
“I’m not used to eating with company… I’m not really used to company at all to be honest.” I was thinking about my whole life, not just the last few months.
His face became concerned, “Oh? You a loner son?”
“What? No…”
“Then why aren’t you used to company?”
I looked away, “I didn’t have much of it growing up unfortunately.”
Heartly looked at me, deep in thought.
“Bad relationship with your family?”
I should have expected he would listen so well, yet I didn’t. I don’t want to tell him about any of that.
“Can we not talk about this anymore? Sorry, but I didn’t intend for us to go in that direction…”
“Of course, forget I asked then.” he winked at me.
He was so welcoming, even though he was so brash. He spoke his mind, but always listened in return. I guessed he would make an excellent bartender.
“So, apparently the meeting will focus on me today. Not gonna lie, I'm worried.”
He laughed, “Haha, don’t be, it’s nothing bad at all, trust me!” He reached over and patted me on my shoulder… That actually had calmed me a fair bit.
“In my life, what I didn’t know was exactly what hurt me most though. I hate not knowing…”
“It’s not shady, son, they just need to discuss you, without you. I can’t tell you more, but I can tell you that it’s just the nature of the topic.”
AI spoke from the tablet, “Heartly, i’ve been struggling to explain this to Andrew, and you just explained it perfectly. Thank you.”
“Always a pleasure to assist you, love.” Heartly patted the little tablet.
Heartly and I enjoyed further small talk before the mass of people entered the hall. I noticed every single person looked at me as they walked past, most walking a little slower as they did so. They were calculating something when they looked at me and I didn’t like that at all.
Oliver appeared, his smile cheered me instantly as he took a seat next to me. Right behind him was Michael and Ashley, but they remained standing. I was about to start talking to them when Aisling and Nadia approached me.
Nadia waved, “Hi Andrew. Would you be so kind as to come to the Inner Roses hall after lunch?”
I was nervous, “Certainly…”
Aisling noticed my hesitation, “Stop worrying, Andrew, this isn’t something bad.”
“And so everyone keeps telling me.”
“Then listen to us.” She winked at me, she pulled it off because she was so photogenic.
Nadia looked carefully at me for a moment, “Andrew… You look much healthier today.”
“Thanks, yeah, I managed another good night's sleep… Can you believe it?”
“I can actually. I think you’re finding closure, slowly. The faster your mind heals, the faster your body heals.”
I nodded, “It would appear that’s literally the case.”
Heartly passed some trays over the counter for the angels. Turnip soup and toast… Amazing. They grabbed their trays and waved as they went to their seats. I then concentrated on eating my soup. I had to get through two of them, so I had best get on with it. Oliver realised he had something important to say to me.
“Oh, right, Andrew I forgot! I have good news for you!” He said as his tray of turnip soup arrived.
“Good news? Please, I'm all ears.” I looked at him with intense interest.
“Haha, that’s ironic mate. There’s a promising ear repair gel being developed at a nearby university. It has demonstrated the ability to even repair tinnitus!”
I thought for a moment, “Oh, then there’s hope I won’t need hearing aids, right?”
“Exactly! Isn’t that exciting?!”
“Yeah… It seriously is… But then I won’t have AI with me all the time anymore though…” I looked at AI on the tablet, she looked concerned.
Oliver stopped just before he took a bite into his toast as you could see he had never thought about that point. Oliver knew that I valued my closeness to AI.
He looked sad, “Well… You can still wear the earphones though?”
AI spoke from the tablet, “Andrew, there are always many ways for me to talk to you. When the opportunity comes to repair your ears, promise me, you’ll take it.”
I looked at her, her face full of concern.
“I promise.” She changed to a smile.
Out of curiosity, I looked down the counter to see what Ashley was eating. It was exactly the same as Michael, same size portion and everything. Steak, potatoes and salad.
“Now… I can understand Michael needing that much mass… But you Ashley?”
Ashley finished chewing a massive mouthful of steak, “I can’t be arsed trying to explain my food to you Andrew, so bite me.”
Michael laughed out loud and so did Ashley. I guess the two of them are on good terms again, excellent. Once more, I found Ashley’s direct manner refreshing.
I managed to finish both soups again, amazingly. I felt a little less full than yesterday, but still quite full. When I looked around, I could see everyone was looking at me with excitement.
“You all look like you’re about to gift me a baby puppy.”
Oliver laughed out loud, “In a manner of speaking, yeah.”
AI looked at me with concern, “To be honest Andrew, I am worried.”
Everyone stopped moving when they heard that. What could worry AI? I instantly looked at the tablet with concern.
“Why? What’s wrong, AI?”
“Andrew, if I know you as well as I think I do… I can’t predict your coming behaviour.”
“I can’t either, since I don’t know…”
“Yes, but, may I ask you a favour please?”
“Always, AI.”
“Please, try to understand things from others' perspectives in the meeting. Try to put yourself in our shoes.”
“Alright AI, for you, I will intentionally focus on doing that.”
She smiled, “You would make a fine agent, Andrew. You have that trust and willingness to get the job done.”
I saw as Oliver tensed right up. He knew how much I had wished I could have been an agent and how angry I got that I may never have the chance. I put my hand on his shoulder, to relax him. Even though AI’s words hurt me, today I felt… More forgiving to myself, more understanding. Maybe that was thanks to the reduced pain.
“If I have to eat a massive plate of steak, I don’t think I'll ever be ready to be an agent.” Ashley flipped me the middle finger with a big smile on her face.
Oliver looked at me with an ever so faintly sad look, “We’ll do everything we can, to get you back to full capacity, I promise…”
“Oliver, it’s ok mate. Whether I will be more in the future or not… I just don’t want to be alone.”
He put his hand on my shoulder, “I’ll never leave your side mate, never…”
“I know… I know.”
People started standing up to hand in their trays. At first it was a few, then it was everyone. Again, they all looked at me with great interest as they walked past. What on earth was about to happen? Aisling and Nadia walked past smiling at me. I supposed it was time to go see what this was all about.
I got up and started to walk out, when Heartly spoke.
“Andrew, be graceful, son.”
I nodded, “I’ll try my best, sir.”
When I entered the foyer, numerous members were standing at the entrance to the Inner Roses Hall. They greeted me with big smiles as I walked past them and into the hall. I proceeded slowly to the centre of the hall.
AI didn’t say anything, yet everyone stood up for me as I walked in and they sat down after a moment. I reached the centre of the hall as Michael and Ashley walked past me to a seat amongst the other agents. Oliver then was the last to enter, he was tucking something into his inside blazer pocket. As he walked past me to get to his seat, I almost thought I saw a hint of sadness in his eyes.
I quickly glanced over all the agents, for there had to be at least one single black rose there… But there wasn’t. What on earth was the black rose about?
AI was smiling from her massive screen, “Thank you for coming Andrew.”
“I’m sorry if I've been a bother for some new reason.”
“Not at all Andrew, in fact the opposite.”
Aisling stood up, “Andrew, may I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“How much do you think we owe you?”
“Zero pounds and zero pence.”
“You think we shouldn’t owe you anything at all?”
“Absolutely. If anything, I owe you all for taking care of me over the last year.”
The hall filled with laughter. I didn’t know what they were laughing about, since I wasn’t joking at all. I looked at Aisling confused.
“Andrew, we are an honour bound organisation, we pay all our debts with interest, we never cheat and we never mislead.”
I nodded in understanding. I knew they were honourable, it’s obvious to anyone who paid any attention to the organisation. They felt like one of the few… Good guys.
“We are also democratic by nature, therefore we vote on all major decisions.”
I found myself a little impatient, “Why are you telling me what I already know?”
“Because we voted on two things today, Andrew. We voted if we should pay you for your sacrifice and then we voted on how much.”
I didn’t say anything as I froze on the spot. I then completely understood why I wasn’t kept in the loop. I don’t get a say in other people's generosity. I felt frustrated as I wished they would let this go!
“So, what did the votes tally up to?”
Nadia stood up, “The votes were 98% yes, on whether we should pay you.”
I shook my head, “I really don’t want a single pence of your money.”
Michael stood up, “And we really can’t give you nothing in return for what you did.”
I continued shaking my head, “And what of the second vote?”
AI spoke, “There were multiple options presented, If you look at the screen you will see the choices.”
I looked up, the board read:
1. A fixed amount
2. Private shares
3. All profits AFTER his rescue
“Right, the third is totally ridiculous, so which of the first two won?” I looked back at AI.
She looked confused, “Actually, option three won, 90%.”
I stood completely still. What were they? Crazy?! Why on earth would they pick the most expensive option, willingly?... Oh, honour.
AI continued, “Our Financier will continue on our behalf, if you please Alex Crowley.”
Alex stood up as he looked at his tablet.
“Riiiiight”, he said as he rubbed his chin.
“So, at the time we rescued you, the Roses balance was… 2.53 million pounds, including property values.”
He swiped the screen of his tablet, “And looking at our current balance, we are at… 89.77 billion pounds.”
“Therefore, as soon as you create a bank account, we will transfer you 89.7696 billion pounds.”
I stared at him, Surely this was all a joke right?
“Right, enough joking, what’s the real amount?” I found myself losing patience faster.
Alex looked up at me confused, “This is no joke whatsoever sir, we owe you 89.76 billion.”
I shouted, “There’s no way you can just casually give a single person that much money!”
“We certainly can sir, we just need an account to send it to.”
“Wait hold on! Then what about the Roses? What money will you have?”
He looked at his tablet, “We will have 2.53 million.”
“You’re a global entity, you can’t operate on 2.53 million, surely?!”
He smiled, “We will manage, sir.”
“All of this… Because of your honour?!” I was furious.
AI looked worried, “Andrew… You said you would try…”
I yelled back at her, “Yeah, but I didn’t think that meant I was bankrupting this organisation!”
AI held her hands up to try to calm me, “We will manage, but our honour and integrity is more important than our profit margins.”
“NO! I didn’t do all of this, just to bleed this good organisation dry! I refuse! No, I won’t take it, what if-”, I was panicking and could barely breathe.
Alex tried to console me, “Think of it this way, now you can pay off the medical costs sir.”
I turned to him quickly, “What do you mean? What medical costs?”
AI put her face in her hands, “Alex, you shouldn’t have said that…”
Alex looked at AI, “What, did you not tell him?”
I looked back at AI, “I thought… The NHS… I thought…”
AI shook her head, “Andrew… The NHS was at capacity. We had to use private hospitals and surgeons to operate on you. The medication was also in short supply, so we had to privately purchase that too.”
I looked down as panic fully took a hold of me. I had assumed the NHS was paying for it all… If they weren’t… How much was it that I owed them?
“How much have I cost you?” My voice was laced in terror.
“It doesn’t matter Andrew, it was not marked as an exp-”
I shouted, “HOW MUCH!?”
AI paused for a moment.
“All expenses over the last year… £133 million.”
I was shocked and stunned. I knew private healthcare was expensive, but that much…
I stared at the floor in horror, “How… I can’t pay that AI… I don’t… I don’t have a job, I don’t earn any money.”
“You don’t owe us this. We paid it out of our own pocket Andrew, forget this, please.”
“No, I owe you… I owe you a lot. More than I could ever afford… Why didn’t you just let me die?”
“Andrew stop, the cost was insignificant compared to the value of your life. Look at us, we still managed to thrive, even with your medical costs.”
I screamed at her, “And now you want to lose all that money by giving it to me!”
I tried catching my breath, but my panic attack was growing by the minute.
“If I have to choose… Between owing you 133 million… or bankrupting the Roses… I choose the debt...”
AI looked worried, “Oliver, Andrew’s having a panic attack.”
Oliver came running over, he wrapped his arms around me, telling me things like “Breath” and “Don’t worry, calm down”, but it wasn’t working… In my mind was the image of hundreds if not thousands of Rose members not being paid because the Roses didn’t have enough money.
I fell to my knees, “I have become the very thing that destroys the dream of the Roses Oliver, how did this happen?”
“No, no Andrew, everything is fine, we haven’t sent the money, we still have it, please my friend, just breathe!”
“I refuse! I won’t take it, not a single pence!” I looked around rapidly, trying to find something to help me out of the nightmarish situation.
Oliver hugged me as I felt a stabbing feeling in my back. He injected me, probably a tranquilliser. I figured I had a few seconds before it kicked in.
“I’ll find a way to pay for my healthcare, I’ll find a w-”
*
There was no nightmare nor any emotions in my unconsciousness. There was only blackness, then I woke up and opened my eyes.
I looked around and saw that I was still in the hall, however I was lying down. My head was propped up and I looked up to see Aisling smiling at me.
“I’m happy that you never had any nightmares this time”, she said as she gently stroked my head.
I remembered then what happened before I was knocked out. I remembered their outrageous proposition. I would have gotten annoyed again but whatever tranquiliser Oliver used on me, it still had an effect. I felt slightly weak and light headed as I looked around without moving my body as I saw multiple people standing around me. Ashley, Michael, Oliver, Nadia and Alex Crowley.
I felt guilty, “I’m sorry for the way I reacted... It was too much for me to process, and in my state of surprise, I panicked about the consequences.”
I sat up quickly, for Aisling’s close proximity gave me the gift of painlessness and I looked down at the floor in shame. I wished I didn’t react so emotionally like this… I always made a big scene. Alex crouched down next to me.
“Sir, I absolutely must apologise to you. While you were unconscious, AI informed me that your medical costs were indeed written off. You do not owe us that money at all sir.”
I said as politely as I could, “You are only saying this after the fact to calm me down, Mr. Crowley. There is no way you, the financial head of the Roses, didn’t know my medical costs were written off.”
He shook his head, “Not at all sir. In fact, there are many financial things I simply was not aware of due to secrecy. These facts were only made aware to me, after we were all made aware of you, sir. I honestly did not know it was written off, I only saw the total costs when I skimmed through the revealed finances, I never noticed it was listed in the assets section and not the liability section.” Alex’s face was sincere as he patted my shoulder to try to convey his honesty.
I looked at AI on her main screen, her face was concerned.
I asked seriously, “Is this God's honest truth AI?”
AI nodded slowly, “Yes, Andrew, all costs in the past, present and future… I chose for them to be our expense and not your debt. You don’t owe us, nor can you pay us, since you simply don’t owe us legally.”
“With 133 million AI, you could have done so much more. Is my life really worth that much?”
As soon as I finished that sentence, I heard dozens of voices in response.
“Yes!”
“Absolutely!”
“Of course!”
“Without a doubt!”
“Obviously!”
“Don’t be silly.”
I looked around and saw the sincerity on everyone's face, both around me and in the seats around the hall. The agents had that look in their eyes… Certainty. Michael crouched down and looked me in the eyes as he spoke.
“133 million, to save our saviour… I’d call that a bargain.” Everyone around me nodded in agreement.
“I’m not taking the money…” I said as I kept looking back into Michael's eyes.
“This is our choice, Andrew, would you deny us our choice, our freedom to choose how we respond to kindness and our ability to measure your worth to us?”
I looked back to the ground, “How can you say I am worth 89 billion? Nobody is worth that much…”
Aisling stood up as she looked at me with a puzzled look. Her face made me think I had said something silly.
“Stand up, Andrew, and walk with me please”, she said, offering her hand to help me up. I took it and stood up, my body felt no pain thanks to holding Aisling’s hand.
We walked out the hall, through the sliding doors and into the large foyer. The room was packed full of members and agents. It seemed AI wanted everyone to be in the HQ during this meeting. Aisling walked into the middle of the foyer as she waved and beamed her smile at everyone around her. Her affect was immediate, as every concerned face was instantly changed into a cheery smile. She stopped and turned to face me.
“Andrew, what do you see in this room?” She asked honestly.
I looked around, as I saw a legion of Rose members, dotted with agents. I saw a lot of smiles but I also saw a lot of determination in the eyes of everyone I looked at.
“I see a bright future for this country and for the whole world.” I said with certainty.
Aisling looked at me for a few moments, before she looked around herself. She spun around again and again, truly taking in every detail around her, every face in the crowd.
“Do you know what I see Andrew?” She asked as she looked back at me.
“I see three and a half weeks.” She said as she looked down sadly.
I tilted my head slightly to the side to show my confusion as she kept looking at the floor.
She spoke slowly and reverently, “This building, these people, this dream of ours… Three and a half weeks was its true cost.”
I said nothing, I just waited for her to continue.
“In those three and a half weeks, Nadia and I were afforded the time to make connections with the people you see in this room. In that time, we got our first financial investments. In that time, we discovered our first agents. In that time, AI was afforded access to more compute power in servers.”
Aisling started to cry as she looked at me, her face showed intense gratitude.
“The 88 billion, these people, the agents, the Inner Roses, this building, the overseas branches… Nadia, AI and my own lives…” She looked around at everyone one more time.
“All of these things were afforded to us, because you gave us three and a half weeks.”
Many people in the room nodded in agreement. You could see they all felt the same as her.
“Andrew, 88 billion is nothing compared to the fortune you gave us. We could never dream of repaying what you have truly given us, but 88 billion is a good first step though.”
I realised what she was saying. I remembered that AI had asked me to try to understand the Roses perspective. Standing there and looking at it all, I could see what Aisling meant. The time I afforded them was priceless.
I crossed my arms and shook my head. I realised then how important this was to them, but I literally couldn’t take the money, even if I wanted to. I couldn’t make a bank account.
“I realise now, just how important you weigh my contribution. However, I still can’t take the money…”
“Why? Are you still worried about how we will manage? Don’t worry Andrew, we can easily get more loans and pay them off fully in months!” She sounded desperate in her attempt to convince me.
“No… I can’t make a bank account, Aisling.”
She looked confused, “Why not?”
“It doesn’t matter why, I simply can’t. It’s impossible, so let’s try to find a way to work this out.”
Aisling tilted her head in confusion. After a few moments, she realised after looking at my face, that I was not going to elaborate at all and she breathed out a sigh.
“I dunno, Andrew.” She finally admitted.
AI appeared on the large screens above us.
“It is possible for the money to remain in our account, but belong to you, Andrew. This is called depositing.” I liked the sound of that.
“Yes! So what if you can still spend that money, almost as if… I was investing the money in the Roses!”
“Yes, that would be possible. However, you will need to sign several papers for this to be legal and official.”
“But the money is still entirely mine, right?”
“Yes, it will be your money. However, you will be classified as an investor in the Roses and will have to approve any spending of your money.”
I felt a wave of excitement, “Perfect! That’s absolutely perfect! Win win! You get to give me the money, and I get to see the financial security of the Roses!”
Aisling looked at me, her face was angry, “Andrew, are you trying to weasel out of taking the money? Because from my point of view, it seems like we are both not giving you the money and you are literally not taking it either!”
AI responded, “No, Aisling, this is a legal account. The money will belong to him, should he desire to take it all out of our account, he can do so instantly. In all ways that matter, it is his money.”
That raised some questions in my mind.
“So how would I use my money, just out of interest?”
AI responded immediately, “You will be given a card, after the documents have been signed. Every purchase you make will instantly be approved.”
“That sounds good to me. What will I have to do to approve the usage of my money?”
“I can personally talk with you on a daily or weekly basis. I will list the amount spent and you will approve or deny it for me.”
“Ok, that sounds totally reasonable.”
I looked at Aisling as I desperately hoped she would accept this. Everyone else was also now looking at Aisling, holding their breaths. If she refused it, it wouldn’t work. She looked at me for a while, measuring my sincerity. Her arms were crossed before she finally rested her arms at her side and smiled.
“Very well then, Andrew, I trust that AI isn’t misleading us. I trust that our vote and our wish is being fulfilled in honesty. Remember, this is all of the Rose honour on the line.” Her tone was deadly serious.
I looked her in the eyes, “After you made it so clear on why it matters… I wouldn’t dream of cheating you. I don’t want to take the money, but I will because the Roses ask it.”
A Rose member stood up next to me. She was short, wore glasses and had long black hair. She looked at me for a moment and then looked away shyly. She spoke very quietly, but I could hear her just fine.
“You gave us everything you had to give. We repay you, and you immediately find a way to use it for our own best interests... We don’t deserve you Andrew.”
I spoke with all the determination I could muster, “I would gladly give my life, if it meant guaranteeing the success of this organisation.”
She looked concerned, “Why though, Andrew? Why is it so important to you, that you gave it all and yet still feel you need to give more?”
I looked away, “Because… I am the very person this organisation was made to help. I am a young man desperate for purpose and hope.” There was more, but they didn’t need to know.
The shy girl paused as she scrutinised my face.
“No, that’s not why, You’re hiding something from us. I just hope it’s not a dark secret Andrew… Because I love to admire you.” She looked down at the floor humbly, waiting for my rebuttal.
“You’re right, that’s not why… I don’t want to talk about the real reason, at least not right now please.” I tried to sound sincere.
She looked back up at me as she read my face, “Phew, it’s not something dark and terrible, I'm so glad…” She smiled and sat back down.
I walked back to the hall with Aisling. Everyone in the hall already knew what was agreed upon, for AI was showing the foyer cameras for the Inner Roses. Alex shook my hand, mentioning that it was a genius solution to a challenging problem. Michael chastised me for not explaining why I couldn’t make a bank account. Nadia was simply happy that a resolution was attained. Oliver said nothing, I knew it was because he felt terrible about sedating me… I would talk with him about it that night.
I signed the papers, and AI explained the legalese to me in a simple way. Once AI was satisfied that all the paperwork was correct, I left. I needed time to think, not just about today, but about what that shy girl spoke of. I needed to ask myself just how long my past should remain a secret.