“Now, hold on a minute, I think we might’ve gotten off on the wrong foot-”

“Security!!”

They announce it just a little bit louder this time, and now I can hear weapons being drawn, which… doesn’t bode particularly well. It miiiight be time to cut my losses here.

…One more try.

“This uh, seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding. I’m not… evil?”

“...Security!!!”

Well, did my besssssssssssSHIT

My head almost gets lopped off in the clear arc of a blade, the trail cutting a narrow blemish into the wood around the receptionist desk. I, of course, ducked under the attack, for I’m not a newb, but holy shit! I’m not sure if this is the “security” in question, if not just one of the adventurers hanging around here, but either way that was a fast response!

Speaking of this perhaps being an adventurer, aren’t there thirty something other unsavory individuals such as this right here?

And after a quick glance around, the answer to that question is yes, yes there are! Almost all of whom are giving me glances that one could describe as, most unkind. I will not go further in depth, but they’re kind of looking at me like a slab of meat, and some are getting up!

And this one right here is taking another swing at mmOH god!

Looking to perhaps, cleave me in two, the assailant before me swung straight down, attempting to split me vertically, which I, of course, “parried” with my hands, the parry being something straight out of an action movie, wherein I like, y’know, slapped it out of the way before it could make contact with me.

It’s a good thing this guy is fairly slow, because I absolutely would not try that bullshit with anybody who could potentially put a scratch on me. Now, this guy might not be the best, but his boldness is inspiring others to take action already, given a half dozen people are already getting up, and I can only imagine the “security” in question is finding its way here.

“Right,” I announce as I twirl around yet another strike, winding around the swordsman and-24!- karate chopping him in the back of the neck. It didn’t… knock him out, so like… minus a million bajillion aura, but good damage! Also, ow, my hand hurts. Not worth it to be honest.

“I know when I’m not welcome,” I wave to everybody before taking a step towards the door. “I’ll be seeing myself out.”

That’s to put it lightly, by the way, I seem to be very not welcome right now.

“Kill him!”

Ah, that’s not putting it lightly at all is it?

“No thank you!”

Giving the man STILL in front of me a shove before he takes another swing at me, I push off of him-3!(he hit the floor)-and make a break for the door as the rest of the crowd rises to its collective feet.

Now, I don’t really have the time, nor the desire, to describe any of these people in depth, so I’m not going to. But unfortunately, despite my lack of interest in all of them, they all, well, almost all of them, collectively decide to take an interest in me. Maybe there’s some kind of reward for hunting down the unlawful? Probably, but either way I don’t intend to give them any loot. Plus they’re all… npcs, right?

No thank you, dying to an ai would just be embarrassing man.

Now, what’s this first attack coming my wwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaay-

-yyyyyyYikes! That one actually almost took my head off. Unlike the previous guy who I assume to be, er, level four maybe, tops, the attack this guy in… chainmail something threw at me was actually kind of fast! As in, almost legitimately took my head off. Even with my eyes locked on him, the trail of his blade was practically a blur, a clean, straight line. I barely even saw the attack really, just… reacted on instinct when his muscles tensed.

I… really hope that was a skill and not his base attack, otherwise I… might just be screwed.

Well, no time to worry about that! After limboing under the slash, I dart forward again at full mast, sprinting headlong for the exit. By now, I’ve cleared most of the people in the way, and while there are a few people still drawing their weapons in front of me, most of them won’t be able to bar the entrance before I get there. Maybe, one or two of them at most, and they both look frail enough to topple… maybe use Jerry or Jasper to knock them over… would Jerry even listen to me? …Maybe, not worth testing right now though.

Okay, almost home free, just keep on moving Koth! Five meters, four meters, three meters-

“MMM!”

“Huh?”

49!

…Oh, ow.

I hit the ground with a thud-4!

Guess you… can’t sense magic, huh? Wasn’t like a sixth sense went off or anything, didn’t feel any hairs rise on my back, actually was it even magic? What…

Tilting my head at the projectile that had lodged itself into my back, I could in fact confirm, yes, that was magic. At least some kind of it, at least, I’d assume giant icicles piercing my back would be magic. Speaking of, owwwwwwwww…

That hurts… a lot. And it’s… kind of damn heavy! In fact, feels like my body’s freezing up a bit here, there wasn’t, uhhh, a paralytic in that right? The ice wasn’t laced, right? Oh god I think the ice was laced, why can’t I GET UP!?

Precious split-seconds pass as I attempt to will my body into action, but my movements are sluggish, my body mostly unresponsive. I am getting up, but with everybody else charging me they’ll be on top of me well before a full recovery…

Welp, I have a class for a reason!

“Jerry! Break the icicles! I beg of you! Jasper, spook them into backing off, if just for a moment!”

[Double-Summon!!]

Jasper, for her part, is attentive as usual, instantly breaking towards the crowd that had formed chasing me, and not a moment later…

[Hunter’s Mark]!

154!

She absolutely sends somebody to the afterlife.

+9 exp!

-1 karma!

Welp, they were asking for it! R.I.P random npc.

“HANS!”

I hear a crash not a moment later, but, frustratingly, STILL CANNOT GET UP!

“Jerry, just, break the thing!”

“I-”

“Please.”

I mean, I CAN get up, but slowly, my entire body feels like it’s freezing over, everything is numb… I’m not used to moving this slowly! Needing a second or two to get up after getting launched into the floor with the force of a bomb? What the hell? This isn’t real life get fake!

I’m honestly not even sure if it’s just a slow debuff from getting hit with, you know, ice, but it can’t hurt to just be safe and break the damn thing. Jasper is doing her job, buying a little bit of time with momentary shock and what not, but Jerry, please, just-

Crck

O-oh, he actually did it. The ice cracks, and then shatters, destroyed with the force of a single strike from Jerry. I mean, that was kind of unexpected, but his effective strength is like… twenty five something, is it not? Eh, no time for that.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

“Great job! You’ve done all you needed to do.”

[Recall]

Doesn’t really feel like the slowness abated, but… hrrp, come on, get up!

Pushing myself to my feet a whole THREE, SECONDS, after I hit the floor, I turn back to look at the crowd once again, which is now once more advancing, with one very angry looking man at the front, which is, of course… advancing towards Jasper.

Turning back, the blockade has actually formed at the door now… great!

“Alright, Screech, WAKE UP PLEASE! WAKEY WAKEY! EGGS AND BAKEY! HELLO?”

No good.

Well, give them more than a third of a second maybe. “WAKE UP IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE THANK YOU PLEASE!”

“Jasper, we’re going to need to breach through the exit, we’ll have one shot at this before we get overrun. I’m going to charge with all my might, Jerry won’t be much good for this, so you’ll have to make as much use of [Hunter’s Mark] as you can.”

“Mmm!”

[Rec-[Wild Hunt’s Call]!

Wh-that’s a waste of MPPPPPPpppppppppp-actually no, great idea!

“MmmM-”

“No I get it, great decoy, let’s go!”

[Recall]

Leaving in place of Jasper a shadowy decoy, I stop worrying about what’s behind me and start focusing on what’s in front of me. The phantom certainly seems to be holding attention well enough, so I figure I can excuse myself for a few seconds. Jasper should have thirty five MP right now, so enough for at least three [Hunter’s Mark]’s. Given there’s only two people at the door, with the rest inbetween, yeah, that’ll do.

My feet hit the floor in increasing regularity, throwing my arm up as the half a dozen men before me ready their weapons. I’m ready to take some damage for this escape, given as has been proven extensively by this game, no matter where it hits, you never really get one shot. You take a lot of damage, yes, but there is no “critical instant kill!” you’d see in some shoddy realism over all games. I’ve got about ninety health to sprint through here, and as long as nobody hits me in the face with some Jasper-esque nuke I’ll be perfectly fine, if not on deaths heels anyways.

So… hit me with your worst, one-two-three-four-five different goons before me and the two door goons!

Closing my eyes, I brace myself for the worst and-31!

…Huh?

22!

Hah?

33!

1/140

…Oh, I’m gonna die.

“Sorry about this!”

My eyes snap open at the last moment, practically latching onto the trails of the impending blades aimed for my heart. Even one scratch would mean certain death, stubbing my toe or stepping on a piece of glass would, at present, make me literally burst at the seams.

[Tri-Summon!!!]

I… simply don’t have a choice here. So…

Summoning Jasper and Jerry as body shields, I cringe as they both absorb the incoming attacks, their bodies offered up instead of my own.

28!

36!

They’re… they’re fine, even with their cries of shock echoing in my ears, I know they’re fine… But… damn, I basically just lost this. Wait, what did I summon Screech for though?

Oh, that’s quite simple-

“FIREBALL!”

“Whuh-huh-ball? WHUH-”

Chucking her at the door, I practically grind my own teeth as I watch her eyes blink open mid “flight”, her path leading her straight to the two adventurers blocking the way. The respective mace and spear of the two at the door aimed at her as she regains consciousness in the blink of an eye.

“FIRE-”

BOOM

—

Leaping through the smoldering remains of the door, I swiftly pull a potion from out of my inventory, chomping off the cork lid and downing the bitter contents in moments. The healing doesn’t kick in until three seconds after the fact either way, but damnit if my adrenaline isn’t pumping right now!

Pleeease, please please please say Jasper and Jerry haven’t taken any hits. Don’t let them take any hits, don’t let them take any hits, don’t let them take any h-TIME! [Recall] [Recall].

I… REALLY did not want to have to run back in there for them. But with Screech actually awake-”What the heck is going on why did I just wake up in the middle of the air what are you doing why are we having a fight right now aren’t we still in town why did I have to blow myself up”-I’m feeling much better about our chances in the case of an actual fight with two and a half competent combatants on our side. Myself being half because I… have no weapon. Because of course I don’t. Because I needed money, but of course, having negative karma is super duper illegal for some reason.

Speaking of that, I probably need to get the HELL out of dodge! Shame about the two silver and what not, but it’s not like I really needed the room either way. I can’t imagine it’ll be safe in town if this is a perfectly legitimate response to me being in the adventurers guild, so it’s time to GO. The question being, how?

Even through the crackling wood, the screams and the shouts, I can definitely make out “don’t let him get away!” coming from within the guild, so it’s time to get away or die, but once again… HOW?

I’m almost a hundred meters off the ground, even at full health, a straight up fall from here would be near certain death, I’d basically need wings to get down there!

…Oh yeah, wings.

“Screech, sorry about that, but would you listen to me for just a moment?”

“Yes?”

“We need to get out of here right now, as you can see, we’re quite high up. You however, can get us out without issue. Simply fly us down to the ground by transforming, can you do that?”

“I can do that for a tttttttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-”

Oh for the love of-please, please, PLEASE do not demand a truffle right now I might actually have to give it to you-

‘Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr… rrrrrr-rrrr-rrrrrr-rrrrrr”

Oh come on-JUST SAY IT OR DON’T SAY IT TIME’S A WASTIN!

“Rrreal… nice day? A real nice day? A real nice day!”

…Oh, not the reaction I was expecting, but-”That I can offer! Let’s go!”

“Alrighty!”

[Morrigala Metamorphose]