WHAM goes the door as I swing that shitake open! Mostly just because I didn’t expect it to hit a wall immediately, so I might’ve put a little bit too much force into that… but oh well! Here we are at long last, away from all the conundrums and cancellations of traveling around, at long, LONG, last, I can get Screech to stop screeching about food!
Hopefully!
I dunno, they say the eyes are the window to the soul, but to me whenever they start rambling on and on… they just look like deep, dark pits, from whence no light shall ever escape. There is nothing to be found in them. Only suffering, and unknowable despair. An ever echoing, pervading wail, reverberating through the walls of their hollow, empty being.
Or in other words, you’re not you when you’re hungry, and Screech seems to be perpetually hungry from what I’ve seen of them. Then again, they haven’t been with me for long, so how would I know? Perhaps a truffle about the size of my pinky finger wasn’t all that filling. Regardless, it’s about time to remedy that!
“-oh I do hope there’s an assortment of monsters here it would be so wonderfully lovely to get to stretch my palle-”
“Screech! You can stop now!”
She’s been rambling for awhile now, and I just kind of tuned her out, but I do need to hear her thoughts on this next bit to actually, uh, order. I mean I figure I could just get her just about anything, but I should probably ask what she wants out of the available options, no?
Walking through the establishment, I cast many a curious glance around the place. There aren’t too many people hanging around, and most of the people here are in casual dress, cloth shirts and what not. Or, you know, what I think is cloth. There are the rare few exceptions dressed in more adventurous wear, such as myself, but we are by far, as previously mentioned, the exception. I also can’t help but notice that I am, er, exceptionally drab to put it bluntly.
My armor is exceedingly plain, it’s just… leather, and a bit of a metal that I couldn’t put a name to if you put a bow to the back of my head. Certainly no artisan work. You’ve got the tunic covering most of my chest with bits of my actual shirt showing underneath, my gloves, me leggings, and me boots, and that’s all. Meanwhile, you take a look at one of the adventurer folk around this here part and…
Almost all of them have something that distinguishes them. An embroidery carved into their outfit, perhaps a few rings, a flower in one’s hair, some of them aren’t even wearing leather, and instead some unknown material of a different color. So, I suppose in a certain way, I am unique! In that I am the most bland of all.
Am… am I the leather pleb? Have I become what I so despised? Actually… was I ever any different? I suddenly feel as if I am not of my own skin.
That shouldn’t matter too much though, not like anybody has given me a blatant look of disgust or anything! So on I go, passing under the artistic representation of a floating whale carved into a sign hanging down from the center of the tavern thingamajig I find myself walking through, clearing my throat as I prepare to speak to a middle-aged something woman at the counter.
“Hello,” I start off mildly enough, displaying a controlled smile and waving gently. “I’m new in town, and was wondering how much two or so silvers could get me here?”
“Hm, don’t look like all that much. You made it through the valleys?”
…Excuse me?
With my smile becoming just a smidgen more forced, I tilt my head at the woman.
“Of course, how else would I be standing here before you as I am?”
“Ah, just an old woman’s ramblings, don’t mind me.” She chuckles, waving a hand at me in dismissal, before sighing and looking me in the eyes. “Two silvers you say? Hm… tell me, how long will you be staying in town?”
…Good question actually, how long WILL I be staying in town? I’ve got some repairs to do I suppose, test out some farming theories, probably look for a few quests… so I suppose a day or two?
“A few days or so, why?”
“Tell you what, I’ll do you two silvers for a three night’s stay then,” she offers without much hesitation, smiling with ease as she gives what… seems to be a pretty alright deal all things considered. But, I do run into a problem of sorts at that offer.
Currency
0 Platinum
0 Gold
2 Silver
54 Copper
My coffers are a little low… I dunno about Jasper and Jerry, but the S in question probably won’t be satisfied with a mere fifty four coppers of consumption.
“Hmm, quick question, would it be a problem if I were to use a few of my skills?”
“...That’s rather out of the blue,” she commented, raising an eyebrow. “Depends on the skill, I suppose? No wrecking the building, I’ll have your head for it, as well as the law-men. They don’t take kindly to potential threats to the stability of the village,” she mused, stroking her chin.
“Mhm… Alright, bear with me.”
My officially dubbed; [Tri-Summon!!!] (with an ! for each monster!)
Manifesting three monsters into existence all at once, I point a finger to each one in order, index, middle, and thumb respectively as I point to Screech on my shoulder, Jasper on my left, and Jerry on my right.
“I’m also going to need to buy food for these three. This one specifically,” I mumble whilst retracting my thumb and middle finger, leaving only my index blasting straight towards Screech, who, for her part, remains REMARKABLY quiet. I’m pretty sure she’s literally shaking from the silence, like a pipe about to burst from sheer pressure.
“...How much would that cost?”
Tilting her head at me for a change, the woman asked a moment later; “...You feed your monsters full course meals?”
“...Yes?”
…
“Well that’s certainly one way to ensure loyalty.” She mused again, before sighing and smiling. “Can’t imagine it’s easy on your funds though. Any extra miscreants I should be worrying about, or just those three for now?”
“Just these three for the foreseeable future. There aren’t any others to feed.”
“...Ah? You know what, not my place to ask.” She smiled and shook her head, before meeting my eyes once again. “It’d typically cost you about twenty five coppers for a proper meal per person. So, for all four of you, I suppose I’ll cut you a bargain and say eighty coppers instead of the full silver. But only if you take the offer for the three nights!”
54 Copper
…
“...Do you take payment in any alternative forms?”
“Running short on cash dearie?”
“A little bit,” I nod with a frown. “I have potions, a fair few of them, I’m sure it’d be able to cover the cost of twenty six extra coppers.”
“Hm, suppose I could make a stop by the local alchemist tonight, how many are you offering?”
Well, I bought about eighty potions total with around seven silvers and a lot of sold materials… so, assuming the re-sell rate is probably less than a third of their initial price… I’m gonna guesstimate and say around… seven?
“How does seven lesser healing potions sound? About three coppers for each?”
“Hm, that’ll do. You have yourself a deal!”
—
“Okay… just calm down…”
Screech is practically a vibrating bomb of pressure ready to go ka, BOOM. I’m half convinced they’re about to start shedding feathers as they remain dead silent, I think they might’ve taken my “follow my orders” spiel a little bit… too literally.
“You can speak, just-”
“Oh my goodness gracious I am SO hungry I’ve been waiting for so long why did you not have any food on you besides the truffles I mean I would’ve eaten them either way but you didn’t offer me anything did you just not have anything because that would be really weird I mean do you go that long without eating anything on average? Because I stopped for a quick snack every time I attacked you and your friends to fill up and I can’t imagine anybody else doing anything differently because that would just s-”
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“STOP! Stop-I mean, don’t STOP, stop. JUst… slow down. There is no need for that!”
“...”
“I didn’t tell you to stop, just speak with a little bit more… I dunno, elegance?”
“Mmm,” Jasper grunts her agreement, looking up at me and Screech from her place on the floor.
“Uh okay how exactly do you want me to do that?”
“I… don’t quite know to be honest. Er, that right just now was fine? Speak like that, please?”
“So in short bursts you mean?”
“Yes, in… short bursts.”
“...Okay!”
Giving me a headache in combat and in conversation. Screech truly may have been the name of all time.
“So, I’ve been looking at the menu, I’m not sure about all of you, but I figure Screech will want as much as she can get…”
“Mhm! Absolutely! I’m starving!”
“Mhm, Jasper… do you… do you even want anything?”
“...Mm.”
“Is that… is that a yes or no?”
“Mmmmm… Mrmmhm.”
“Well… if you don’t eat, I’m sure Screech would be happy to take your p-”
“YES! I would!”
“...Right. And, uh, Jerry? Would you like a Arieia steak?”
“...Yes.”
“Okay, we’ll order that for you. Anything else?”
“...No.”
I just feel bad for the poor guy at this point. It’s not like he’s in a stage of caveman speak, he’s just… really quiet. I wish he wasn’t so anxious all the time, it’s kind of a mood killer. Well…
“Alright Jasper, I’ll just order whatever for you, meat is fine, yes?”
“Mhm.”
“And… Screech…”
“Ooo! I waaaaaant-” her drawl continued onward as she activated [Morrigala’s Metamorphose], shrinking to about half of her current size. She then proceeded to lightly tap her right-most wing against half of the items on the menu.
“...You can’t have everything.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because we can’t afford everything.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because we don’t have infinite money.”
“What? Why not?”
“Because we aren’t rich.”
“What? Why not?”
“...BECAUSE I SAID SO! Rghghahgah, we can’t get everything, that’s the end of the story. Pick ONE thing. You’re already probably getting part of Jasper’s meal, there will probably, quite literally, be more food than the size of your body, you’ll be fine!”
“Oh fiiiiiine alright I want this.
Once again, she placed her wing atop an item, and because of her currently reduced size, it was actually legible. The item of interest being soup.
…Didn’t expect that, but alright!
“Okay, I see somebody walking over to us right now, Let’s get this order going.”
—
The soup… inhaler… strikes. This is frankly, absurd. How can one being, be so… ravenous? So… SO… hungry?
She moves so fast she’s literally a blur, pecking each individual item out of the soup and taking a bit of the liquid with it in each movement. It’s death by a thousand cuts, but by pecks instead, and also it’s not a living creature.
In contrast… Jerry thoughtfully consumes his steak, taking little pieces out of it under the table. He doesn’t even tear pieces off and cast them to the floor either, it all stays in the plate. A stark contrast from our initial meeting to be frank. I have to wonder, did I really traumatize him that badly…?
My bad bro…
“Are you sure you’re not going to eat anything?”
“...Mmm. Mm.”
And as the last member of the trio, Jasper… simply rests on my lap. She’s a little bit large, but it’s not like she’s a tiger or anything. She’s in between house cat and big cat status, so like… this is acceptable I suppose.
“You’re… really alright?”
“Mhm.”
“Even though you haven’t eaten in days?”
“Mmmmm-hm.”
“Do you even need to eat?”
“Mm-mm-mm.”
“Literally how?”
“...Mm.”
“Alright… won’t ask I guess. So you’re cool with Screech taking the burger then?”
“Mhm.”
“Yeah I dunno why I got you a burger to begin with to be honest. Oh well, it’ll be interesting to see her go at i-oh dear god she is inhaling that burger.”
—
I still don’t know how she ate that much.
I really don’t.
And I don’t think I want to.
I breathe in and out, before collapsing onto the bed in my current room. Seeing Screech eat that much, has reminded me that I am, in fact, eleven hours into this without having eaten anything. I’m gonna need me some sustenance before I wither away.
“Alright everybody… give me a moment.”
Log out.