The forest gradually grows thinner the further and further that I walk. The pale light that bleeds through the canopy gaining more and more color the deeper, or, in this case, farther I go from the forest? Either way, the path through the place, likewise, grows more and more pronounced the further I walk away.

I’ve been running into fewer monsters than I had been in the forest yesterday, but whether that was because I was on the path or if players had just been slaughtering them all, I wasn’t quite sure. Or at least, I hadn’t been quite sure. When the trail cleared up about ten minutes ago, every monster just kinda… vanished. It’s been really quiet, almost too quiet, if you don’t count the birdsong.

I half expected an ambush by now! But, despite being ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice… nada. There isn’t even anybody in the way through the forest right now either. Not a single wagon to be found! The best I’ve gotten is a passing glimpse of random people moving through the forest, which I’m currently assuming to be players. Buuuut, I can’t help but jump every time something slips into my field of view.

Like I said, I do expect SOME sort of trouble… it just… that’s kind of how things go, right? I’m literally ALWAYS getting ambushed… Maybe not in the literal sense, but it’s commonplace for me. Farming experience? Goon squad jumping me. Reaping the souls of the masses in UB? Here comes the ranker fodder! Gonna log out and eat dinner, boom, surprise raid boss!

It’s just… how it do indeed be. I’ve gotten used to it by now, so if you were me, you’d be a fool to assume anything else could end up happening. There’s… GOING to be an ambush of some sort, the question is just when and how. I know it!!! I’m not crazy, I swear! Paranoia is only paranoia if there’s actually nothing there.

“...Ahem.” I clear my throat and rap my knuckles against the leather of my chestplate. I might be a little bit too worried about this. Whatever happens, happens, I’ll deal with it as it may be. No halfwit is going to get me with an unplanned attack, so there’s no need to stress out about it.

“Jasper?”

“Mmm?”

Opening my map from the menu, I swipe my fingers across the invisible surface, glazing across the nearby landscape. It seems to be a pretty big stretch of land given the dot representing me is like… maybe half way out of the forest now, and the distance between said forest and the nearest town is at least a dozen of these forests… and then the total map is at least a few hundred of these forests, and it probably stretches on… where was I going with this? Oh, right, gotta ask Jasper if there’s anywhere she’d like to go.

“Is there any place you particularly want to see? We’ve got a few different options from here. There’s Fort Es-ehs-ecki-how do you pronounce that? Eh-si-ah-go? FORT… Eciago, Blackrock Keep, Skeirune, Allacian Peak… any of those pique your interest?”

“Mmmmm… Mm.”

“Yeah me neither.”

“Hmm.”

“Well, there’s like, a half dozen more options. I’m sure one of those names will sound interesting, right?”

“...”

With an exaggerated tilt of my eyes to nothing in particular, I stare at open space. “Okay, no need to be a downer.”

“MmMRgh.”

“Alright, let’s see here. Mireswept Landing… that… doesn’t sound great. Uh, Kierie’s Ruins, that’s not a town, but interesting enough. Miner’s Refuge, uh huh, not very interested… Pierre’s Karst…”

I blink once or twice in the moment, before reading that over again.

“Pierre’s… Pierre’s Karst? …What now?”

Fuck’s a Karst?

“Jasper, do you have any idea what that is?”

“Mmm?”

“Well who else am I gonna ask???”

“Mmm-a-mm.”

“Hold on, hold on, give me a second.”

Log out.

—

So… okay…

“So, apparently, a Karst is a, and I quote, ‘landscape underlain by limestone which has been eroded by dissolution, producing ridges, towers, fissures, sinkholes and other characteristic landforms.’ and, I’ll be honest… being so curious about this, now I kinda wanna see it.”

“...Mmm?”

“What do you mean I quote? You know, I looked… uhm… you know what? Nevermind.”

While I was at it, I also took a look at “Wild Hunt”. That kind of like, felt like a reference to something, and lo and behold… something something, Norse mythology? Odd motif… but like, alright honestly, I’ll take it either way. Now… Jasper, Jasper, Jasper…

You know, just now thinking about it, but what the heck goes on with Jasper while I’m logged out? Is she just… left alone in the pocket dimension? Surely not, right? She’d have made mention of it by now if that were the case. So, I have to assume that time moves for them as it does me in game, that being that they simply… cease to be if I’m not logged in and they’re stored away.

That’s actually… kind of uh... mildly distressing? Or it would be at least. They’re not really alive in the first place, so, y’know. Now… with a destination in mind…

…

“Did you hear that?”

I know I just heard something, that was definitely not my mind playing tricks on me. I keep walking, just in case, but now my senses are back on full alert. I’d… uh… admittedly been doing a mite bit of selling whilst flabbergasted about a particular word, only enough to make a silver on the side, but clearly not enough to completely lose track of my surroundings. And now, here we are, back at the precipice once again.

Wait, what’s the precipice in this scenario? Uhhhm, of dying? Of dying, back at the precipice of dying. Or in this case, avoiding dying.

Ahem, ahem… what am I doing?

My toes curl in my boots as I frown at my own lack of urgency. I don’t get bitten in the ass for messing around very often, but when it happens, it sucks. It’s sucked pretty damn hard in the past, and I have no intention to stick my hand over the proverbial stove more than once. You don’t burn yourself a second time.

Preparing to [Summon] Jasper, I shoot her an “order” as I pick out an appropriate spawn for her. “Stay on full alert, eyes on our surroundings, keep yourself under cover, understood?”

“Mmm.”

“Good, then, stay safe.”

Manifesting my pocket nuke off to the side within the shrubbery off the beaten path I find myself walking down, I do my best to keep my face narrow. Continuing down the aforementioned path, I do my best to act like I don’t hear the occasional crcks and pops off in the distant trees.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

If I’m not wrong… it sounds like at least… three people? Probably more. They’re not exactly… graceful, but at the very least if they’re not hurtling to the ground in the current stage of the game, then they’ve got some level of skill, being able to parkour without the raw stats to carry them through it. They’re at the very least not incompetent…

Given that, it’d probably be in my best interest to avoid fighting them. Players seem to be extremely squishy in the early game, so even if I’m better, one mistake could cost me a lot. Though, if they don’t intend to give me a choice, then I’ll square up, but… it could go either way. If it really is only three though, I’ll probably be fine.

It gets harder to keep my face straight by the second, mostly because I find it exceedingly funny that they haven’t realized I know they’re there yet. My steps before were easy, light, practically stumbling right off the path of my own free will while I was joking around with Jasper. As opposed to now, they’ve… hardened somewhat. Straight and narrow as the expression I’m currently bending into place.

Or maybe they do know I know, and because they know I know, they’ve decided that because they know, they’d try to trick me into thinking that I know that they know, when in reality they already know that I know, so knowing that they decided to divert my attention to a few of them whilst the rest sneak up on me on the ground?

…Nahhhhhh. Probably not. If I’m really dealing with that competent of a group here and they want me dead, I’m probably screwed and the best I’ll be able to do is make sure Jasper doesn’t die. But, hope for the best. Let’s hope they’re not all god gamers, yeah?

“Noticed anybody around?” I ask Jasper as my eyes flick to a shadow just out of view. I wish they’d just get whatever they’re doing done and over with already.

“Mm-mm.”

An affirmative, no. So… they’re either avoiding Jasper, whose effective level comes out to about 17 right now with her base stats alone, or there’s nobody on the ground. Yeah, I think nobodies there.

Oh, hey, scratch that, I actually see somebody in the distance for once! Not a wagon or somebody moving around, but somebody standing stock still, with… leather armor, I think? But it’s dyed a little darker… alright, sure, whaddya got for me?

“Hello.” I called out first, maintaining my stride as I approached the smirking man. Y’know… that’s like… a REALLY punchable face… kind of like my own… but, no, no, maybe he’s here on good will!

“Heya.” He replied with that same smarm purveying through even his voice, his general seeming cockiness really grating at the edges of my restraint. For just a moment, a small one, one he probably didn’t notice. The corner of my cheek tugged upwards.

Tilting my head to the side with a fake smile, I ask; “Can I help you?”

“In fact, that’cha can.” Holding that same smirk, he took a step forward as his hand drifted to his side, grasping the handle of a blade seemingly similar to my own.

Oh… oh we’re really doing this, huh? Y’know, I’m just gonna go out on a limb and say they’re not great at this. If he was gonna attack me, no clue why he dropped the element of surprise. But, maybe he’s just trying to draw my attention to himself instead of his allies?

With my resolve quickly shattering, I barely hold back the rising edges of my smile, taking a look around in case anybody else just so happens to be sneaking up on me, the man before me takes notice of it and lets out a barking laugh, clearly getting the wrong idea.

“Nobodies gonna come to help ‘ya lad. Just turn your pain settings down and I’ll make it quick.”

“Khm…hmhmhm…” I finally break as a little giggle manages to make its way through, much to the confusion of the now blade wielding thug before me. “oh, no, no, sorry, it’s just… could you not act like an npc? I was honestly kind of worried about you for a second there, but, if you’re just gonna be a glorified clown…”

His face quickly darkens, the smirk replaced with a grimace within moments. That’s his cool shattered instantly, with, barely any provocation. You know I didn’t REALLY mean what I said just now, but like, now I kind of do? This is a little bit…

“Fine, then, turn it up to a hundred percent for all I care you little shit.” He growled, and then brandished his sword, before bringing two fingers up to his lips.

So, is he gonna whistle for his backup? Kind of an uh, obvious tell-

Oh, I stand corrected.

Bringing flame from his lips, the man presses the tips of his fingers to the surface of his steel, setting the entire blade alight as he slid them down its heft.

“Interesting party trick.” I tilt my head again, this time actually genuinely kind of curious. That was like, kind of sick. I didn’t think you’d be able to get much magic like that early game, what is he…?

THUMP-THUMP

So that WAS the signal, okay, got it.

Weaving inbetween two men falling from the trees, I graze each of their vertical strikes as I pivot on the spot twice back to back, leaving both of them rather bamboozled as to why there was no flesh parred by their blades. And a moment later, there’s another impact of confusion. This time, in the form of my boots planted firmly somewhere around both of their colons, having leapt into the air, launching a blow into one's gut, using that same momentum to rock the other one even harder than the first.

8!

15!

Alright, I~ can’t~ help it.

As both of them topple to the floor in momentary shock, my hand flashes to my blade, heaving it from its sheath just as my smile truly breaks free of its proverbial binds.

Before I have the chance to stab down and plunge it into one of their prone forms, both of the cloaked assailants roll away and jump back to their feet, one behind me, and the other in front, closer to the man who’d initially accosted me.

Letting out a small sigh, my body sags for a moment as I leave myself defenseless, knowing full well none of them are eager to charge in after that display. “You know… I’d ask why… maybe you have some kind of quest, maybe you’re trying to get my loot, somehow, like I’d have any? Maybe you know what I did to the Bushling? Maybe you’re just like me and you wanted to test out PKing somehow…? It… doesn’t matter.” I continue to grin wickedly as I bring a hand to my scalp, trying my best not to laugh like a madman.

Letting my hand slide down my face as I fight down the giggles, all that remains is my smile, wide and as threatening as it need be. Opening my eyes with a slow ease, knowing I’m already putting the fear of god into these plebs, I finish my monologue off without a single feature budging an inch.

“You chose the wrong target, so you’d better start praying. Because I hold no ill will against any of you, I hope the death penalty isn’t too severe, because none of you are making it out of here in one piece. But more specifically, I sure do hope your pain settings are minimized.”

That last one had a bit of spite in it, and I sure hope they realized why.

After a short silence, one of them rose to the task of responding against allat ego. “Bah! I’ll wipe that shit eating grin right off your face!”

The original man brandished his flaming blade right at me, clearly fighting off the intimidation I’d done my best to instill. Or at least, trying. But, at the very least, his two accomplices seemed to be emboldened by it, righting their swords to a proper posture once again.

“Hah! Alright then!” I beckon him in with my free hand before gripping my sword with it as well.

“Let’s see if you can leave so much as a scratch shithead.”