I will probably be punished for doing this.

Hugging Alduin, that is.

But I don’t care.

I love him.

I feel something for him.

When I saw him the first time, my chest exploded in love, my downsides became burning hot.

I love him…. And I want him.

I don’t know why.

Mirtil isn’t a bad husband.

He never beats me.

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He never curses me. Or say nasty things to me.

He doesn’t have many lovers, and only once in a while goes to the brothels.

And I love him.

Still, what I feel for this man...

No…

Can I even say he’s a man?

He isn’t even human.

I should be afraid of him.

I didn’t notice it the first time I saw him, but everyone is afraid of him.

He’s an orc after all.

They are dangerous. Unruly. Wild.

Then why do I feel so safe around him?

Is it because I know he isn’t truly an orc?

No…

I felt like this since the very first time I saw him. A naked orc in the forest, mauling Mad Hounds with his fists.

Closed eyes. Perfect stance.

That should have been impossible, but he did it as easily as if he was breathing.

And then, he told me his story.

I expended a long time with him, but he didn’t try to take me. And when I returned to camp, I just said I had gotten lost for a while.

Why do I feel like I feel?

It doesn’t matter.

I want to stay with him.

Even if this “depression” thing he says he has is just like Mirtil´s sadness…

Somehow, I believe he will be able to overcome it. Maybe, if i help, he will do it even faster.

But I do not believe Mirtil will be able to overcome his. Not anymore. Not after so many years.