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Ode to Freud
Chapter 10: Go On and Keep Going

Chapter 10: Go On and Keep Going

Volume 1

Chapter 10

It’s been a week since sister left and a lot of things packed up. I mean, first there’s Jacen’s new relationship with me.

He started to sleep on my bed and to hug me while we sleep.

I didn’t care at first, but I wonder if I have to take some kind of responsibility.

We did do that thing with big sister after all. I may be younger than him in body, but I’m much older in mind.

How should I deal with how he sees what happened?

Besides, I didn’t feel particularly draw to him before, but now I remember our night with sister and I get some degree of wanting to do him.

I shouldn’t since he didn’t take the initiative, but it’s difficult to deal with him sleeping with me at night, either his erection touching me or mine touching his.

Oh, to hell with this.

There are more important things to do first. I can control myself for an hour or so each night.

But then again, there lies another problem.

I don’t need that single hour of sleep anymore.

I noticed it only a couple days ago, but I definitely don’t feel sleepy in the least even if I keep awake all night.

But Jacen still wants to sleep with me, so I wonder if I should keep sleeping with him or tell him I won’t be sleeping anymore.

No, I can’t do that. I fucked the little boy’s but, for goddess’s sake. I can’t just toss him aside like this. It would be too cruel.

Besides, what of his mind?

Right now he might still develop as a normal kid if only we treat what we did with care. But if I toss him aside he may feel like he was just an object to satisfy my lust.

No, no, I shouldn’t toss him aside.

But then there’s sister’s traveling.

I’m worried. Worried as fuck.

Is she traveling well?

I want to go after her.

I even went to grandma’s house and talked to her. If I use qigong while I move and eat plenty, shouldn’t I be able to run to where sister is and come back every day by using a lot of aura?

It could double as a pretty fucking efficient training, right?

She gave me a little chop in the head and said I was saying nonsense. Even if I could do it, it would be just too flashy and absurd. “Besides”, she said, “your sister has to learn how to defend herself. Don’t go getting into it while you still have to learn the same thing as well.”

Argh.

What a damn load of bullshit.

Defend herself?

So she will put herself in danger just to learn that?

Goddamit, spare with father or grandmother or something. Even sparing with aura can’t be so dangerous as facing against monsters and bandits while traveling alone for freaking months!

In fact, I’m pretty sure sparing with grandmother while she uses aura would be much more difficult, even if less dangerous.

I don’t get the people of this world.

And that is why I decided to become a little extreme with my training.

I tried with the five small treants, of course, but even that much wasn’t enough to make me experience enough emotion to fully understand grandma.

At beast I can hear her voice as a whisper carried by the wind from a place far away, feel her touch like a breeze and sense her presence like “something” in the room. Nothing more.

It seems I need to be able to touch her for real, listen crystal-clear to what she says and so on before moving on my training.

So let’s do this right. Let’s take this to the extreme.

As soon as grandma came house I started leaving the kitchen.

She seemed a bit surprised, but I won’t give her time to go back to her body and run after me.

I will do it. I will fucking do it NOW!

I clad myself on my hiding techniques, ran and jumped over the village’s walls. Grandma’s soul is at my side. Weirdly the expression in her face is more of having fun than trying to stop me.

Well, whatever. Grandma is weird.

I started running ahead while jumping on the trees. I have never done this “ninja jumping” before, but it sure as hell can be done with my senses as sharp as I’m making them be. There’s a place I heard about from father while we were having dinner.

Spiders.

Damn spiders as big as me.

There’s a nest of them a few dozen kilometers to the south. And I just found it.

The webs spread in front of me like silk all over the tree branches. It seems like it’s sticky, and there are many birds and insects trapped on then.

I stopped my qigong and the hiding techniques. Next I funneled all my attention and focus on getting my [Aura Armor] on while cladding the woodcutting axe I’m holding with [Hardening] and [Sharpness].

Let’s do this.

Let’s fucking DO this!

I prepared a few [Aura Needles] as well, and prepared to jump on the spider right in front of me.

Except… I’m not seeing her with my [Aura Analysis] anymore.

But… how?!

It was there a moment ago!

I could see clearly how the monster crawled all over the place!

And now there’s no aura anymore.

I used the [Light] spell and was baffled.

The spiders were dead, each of them pierced by something a lot bigger than my [Aura Needle].

I looked over my shoulders and grandma’s soul gave me a smile.

Ok, I get the message.

You can protect sister if you want.

I don’t need to go around doing stupid stuff to ensure her safety.

I should just go back home and keep training.

Dammit.

Uh?

Grandma’s soul’s hand is touching my shoulders.

Ah, right, I didn’t say it earlier, right?

I can see her facial expression a lot better now. Anyhow, she is pointing to a direction east of her. It isn’t to the village.

Well, let’s go. I wonder what she wants to do?

I activated my [Aura Analysis] again and went on the direction she pointed me to.

There were a few holes in the ground next to a clearing.

I suppose those are mad hound’s holes. They dig them in order to sleep safely.

Ah, grandma is making a expression with her hand.

What?

Five… four… three… two… one… Go!

And like that she prepared [Aura Needles] the size of my whole body and threw on the hound’s holes.

Ah, I get it.

I totally get it.

You think this is a joke grandma.

Besides, I can see how you are manipulating the [Aura] of the threes around us to make your engorged aura needles. I don’t know why they obey your soul, but It explains why can you do magic while in soul form.

Okay. I will be a part of it.

Let’s compete for a while.

Me and grandma competed for a couple hours after that. She would point me to where monster nest’s where and we would see who could slay them first. She with her technique and me with [Aura Needles] or [Toxin Air Needles].

It wasn’t difficult at all since they would easily die from a few attacks. But the hunters surely will be glad.

We probably exterminated half of the forest’s population of monsters in this period of time. Even if they end up becoming slimes that won’t be half as bad as the monsters they originally were.

But my training session has become a hunting party in the end. Yet I somehow can grasp grandma’s face a little better after this much, so I guess it wasn’t total failure.

***

So, I have talked to grandma. She said the emotion I was carrying with me was useless for the [Soul Walking] training.

*sigh*

Why are things so difficult to grasp? Wasn’t I supposed to be a cheat reincarnated character or something?

Grandma said I would progress faster if I stopped the treant fighting and focused on qigong, most specifically on the [Soul Elevation] technique.

I was a bit confused, but when she explained I got it. It’s just plain meditation, really. I do it in order to visualize better what I’m doing while practicing the qigong technique.

Oh, yes, it seems the technique in itself also has others mixed in it. The breathing exercises are [Body Refining], the meditation part is [Soul Elevation], the visualizations I do to channel better the qi are [Mind Deepening] and the feeling of spirituality I cultivate is [Spiritual Advent].

I wonder why people would learn those things separately?

I mean, it’s a fairly simple technique. If you couldn’t do as much in earth you couldn’t call yourself even an armchair hobby magic practioneer.

Well, not that [Soul Walking] should be difficult for me. It was known as astral projection or out-of-the-body experience back in earth.

But differently from qigong I actually tried to do it my whole life without any success.

Ah, did I inherit my blockages from back on earth as well?

No, no, I shouldn’t have.

If I tried the astral projection techniques I did back on earth?

Of course I did.

But, thinking back on it, I didn’t try them with grandma’s soul around, have I?

Maybe I can do it if she’s supervising the process.

Let’s try and do it.

But later.

Now I have to try and deal with Jacen’s hand touching me in inappropriate places.

***

It seems he’s still sleeping. I lightly poked him in the face, but he didn’t wake up.

Okay. Let’s take this hand out of here.

Oh, to hell with it. Let’s take my whole body out of this room.

Fuu.

It’s too early for training with grandma now.

It usually starts when the moon is already past the middle line in the sky.

So, what should I do?

I could keep training qigong but I think that would be useless. I don’t have the mind for it. Besides, I’m a bit frustrated with my progress.

If I can hunt monsters easily already, doesn’t this means I should be doing some kind of upper echelon training?

But I can’t go on out in the world trying to make a living by diving head-first in dungeons or something. There’s the prejudice against [genius] after all.

….

Why am I trying to become strong again?

Oh, right, the immortality thing.

Grandma said she only knew one way to turn people semi-immortal in this world, and it was by fusing with a dungeon’s core.

This, however, would rid them of most of their humanity as they became entwined with the core’s soul. They would still have their minds, but their emotions would become… twisted.

It wasn’t an option.

It seems I have to look on ruins and other places where old knowledge can be gathered.

There are legends, at least, about magic which could make people immortal.

But even grandma doesn’t know it.

In the worst of cases I may need to start research on the subject by using myself and/or some people of the [Immortals] clan as test subjects.

And to do that I need to become stronger. Not only to subject monsters in my path but also to gather the needed resources and build a basis of operation. A headquarters or magician’s tower or something.

Then again, I don’t know how much magic grandma knows. It’s pretty clear for me now that she wasn’t just a common peddler. She knows details about court politics of four hundred years ago, so she at least had access to a lot of books on history.

But seeing how much emotion she puts on her words while talking about the foolish emperor and his daughter, I guess she was alive back then.

Grandma Is over four hundred years old.

She may have seen many humans live and die.

I need to surpass her.

I stopped my steps, suddenly realizing I was in the middle of the street.

It seems I have been walking around while thinking.

Walking around the village is dangerous, but I at least remembered using the [shadow] spell.

Well, isn’t this a new thing?

I didn’t use to walk back on earth. I surely had the habit of driving around in my car at night to cool my head and think, but walking was never my forte.

I guess training your body really changes things.

He.

Let’s go back house.

I have to milk grandma of her techniques and knowledge. I don’t have four hundred years to spend watching my father and grandfather die one after the other.

So let’s learn this damn technique, TODAY!

***

I had a small success, but not a total one. Then I became terribly frustrated. Then grandma said we would stop training until I regained composure.

Then I became irritated and walk around restlessly while using the [shadow] technique.

Then I realized this was stupid as fuck and returned home.

What the hell is happening to me?

Why am I doing these weird things, running around in circles like a headless chicken?

Have I become insane again?

Is it because I’m almost five?

Or is it because of what happened with Ann and Jacen?

Gods, what’s happening to me?

***

Grandma told me to go to her house tonight.

I’m here. She obviously opened the door the moment I arrived. Just enough so I can pass by. She must have sensed me with [Aura Sensing]. I can feel the technique’s tingling around my skin.

“Come here dear. I have prepared some tea for us.”

I sat at the table. It wasn’t just me and grandma. Grandpa is here as well.

“ ´nit All.”

“ ‘nit Granpa.”

The chamomile tea is cold, which is good. The temperature is still hot.

Grandma sat next to grandpa and looked at me worriedly.

“All, darling, tell me what happened to you.”

I don’t know what she is talking about. What does she mean?

“You can talk to us son.”

It’s granpa this time.

I just looked down into my cup.

I don’t know what they mean… right?

I don’t know, okay!

I don’t!

Why…. Why am I crying?

What is happening to me?

Hahaha.

I know I know, but I refuse to let myself know. No wonder I’m insane.

No. I was insane. In my past life. I’m not insane in this life, right?

Then, why am I still sad?

Grandma is hugging me.

Grandpa’s eyes are kind. His hand in my shoulder is strong.

“Do you remember what happened darling? Was it a dream or something?”

“No. I don’t.”

“It’s okay. We are here for you. If you remember, you tell us, okay?”

“Okay…”

“Now, why don’t you sleep here today? Come, sleep with us.”

I slept between grandma and grandpa.

There was no touching. There was no sexiness. Just plain sleeping. Calm, warm, recovering sleeping.

I went back home right before sunbreak and brushed Jacen’s hair.

It isn’t your fault little one, but you sure brought something weird from inside me, didn’t you?

Or was it really you who did it?

Well, it’s life. Let’s just return to normal now.

Enough insanity for the time being.

***

In the end I stopped carrying about Ann’s safety.

And my training as well.

All of my attention was directed to myself.

So when I sat to start my qigong training I let it go slowly. Gradma’s soul is at my side, so it’s time to try my techniques.

Let’s empty my mind of worries. Let’s empty my heart of reactivity.

It’s okay.

No need to react. No need to be fragile. Let’s just allow myself to float. My soul to go beyond my body.

And so I felt as if I was getting lighter and lighter.

My mind freeing itself from something heavy and difficult.

Like that something dissolved around me, like wrappings around a present box. And I was right above my body, floating calmly.

Grandma pushed my soul by the arm, and took me away from the vicinity of my physical body.

When you are next to it your conscience gets fuzzy and you may end up returning inside on reflex.

I was outside my body. I have been able to do [Soul Walk].

***

So, the first thing we did was to go and see Ann.

To my surprise she was sleeping on top of a three.

I thought she would set up camp in the ground, but thinking well, the top of the threes is indeed the safest place for her to sleep on.

She is traveling alone, so there isn’t much luggage and none has to be kept on the ground.

It may be cold, but she has a mantle, so a fire isn’t needed – which is good, since it could attract the attention of bandits.

And then, even if bandits or monsters come looking for her, unless it’s a monstrous spider they probably won’t be able to get her.

Since spiders usually don’t leave their nests, she should be a lot safer than in the ground.

I was a bit surprised.

I always thought on making camp while traveling on foot by getting wood and making a fire. But sister’s system is indeed a lot better.

On another words, there is no need to make camp in the ground unless you have a horse or a cart/carriage with you.

That’s a relief.

So, after looking for sister for a bit grandma and I returned to our house.

How is the sensation of doing [Soul Walk] ?

Well, it’s… weird.

Like a very, very realistic dream.

But things happen like we getting to sister without the need to travel there on foot. We just thought about sister and appeared right at her side.

There’s also “places” besides the material world we can go to. I can’t see or understand grandma very well yet, since I haven’t developed my soul senses enough, but from what I could understood I shouldn’t go to those places. There seem to be many of them which are very safe, but some may be dangerous.

I should wait to go with her as my guide. Not a big problem.

Anyhow, this adds a new experience to my daily routine.

I will go on [Soul Walk] five to six times a day to check on sister and travel alongside grandma. Then I will also resume my training and try again to get to a level where I can wield the [Aura Hand] and [Aura Weapon] techniques.

It seems what grandma did earlier, the big aura needles, where actually a type of [Aura Weapon] called an [Aura Javelin].

And no, it isn’t easier to manipulate aura when you are outside of your body. The amount depends on what you can gather from the living things around you, so there’s no limits linked to Aura Aggregate Amount, but the degree of mental control is on another level.

I would say it’s a level above the usual techniques, so [Aura Needle], for instance, becomes as difficult to control as [Aura Weapon].

Anyhow, grandma said she will teach me how to do it later.

Now we will focus on developing my soul senses to a level where I can have classes normally.

***

My fifth birthday will be the next big event in the upcoming months. 

Not that it matters much, but we need to keep appearances, right?

I used to like my birthdays in this world more, but now I’m just… kinda annoyed I guess?

I mean, part of that is jealousy because of little sister getting all the attention to herself, sure. I feel like I have less space in the house and even as if I’m loved less.

I know it’s foolish to think like this, but facts are facts. Everyone’s attention is on her while it used to be on me.

She is the one receiving smiles and snuggles, while I just keep being asked to help with the chores.

Argh.

Calm down Alvin. Calm down. You’re an adult, for god’s sake.

So, there’s this.

And then, there’s grandma wanting for me to remain outside all day long. I thought she would at least go on [Soul Walking] and teach me magic and stuff all day long but she intends on doing it only for a couple hours during the day. Our main lessons will be at night.

I guess my only chance of doing something useful with my time is training by myself.

Well, at least Jacen stopped being too clingy.

I thought I would need to ask him to stop sleeping with me, but he just did it naturally after a few weeks.

It does give me a weird feeling though. Something like “I wanted you while you were sister’s, now I don’t want you anymore”.

Fuuuu.

So much drama. Alvin the drama queen is back in town everybody!

Let’s stop this shit and focus on something cooler.

Right. Science! Magic science!

I got an interesting idea recently.

You see, by adding aura to the soil we create slimes because the bacteria eat it all up, right?

But what happens if I add a lot of aura to the soil while killing all the bacteria?

Can I create something like a mana stone? It would be pretty useful if I could create those and use them to create batteries for aura.

Grandma told me it’s very difficult, however. It seems to be possible if you put a huge amount of aura in a crystal or rock, but normally you should get a wild golem as a result instead of mana stones.

Besides, it seems mana stones develop a soul, so they are mini-dungeons in unformed state.

I thought she would prohibit me doing that, but she only demanded that I did it with my own power, without going to the woods to gather aura with [Soul Walking].

Damn grandma, this much is obvious. I need to smash the thing down if it goes wild on me, right?

I mean, I don’t want to create a dungeon on the doorstep of our village or something.

So tonight I’m doing experiments with dirt.

Three balls of clay, each the size of my hand. Let’s put pure heavenly aura I get from the connection with the “above” in one of them, mixed aura in the other and this world’s aura in the third.

Of course, during the process I will be killing the bacteria with [Detoxification] magic.

A little bit of working aand….

Here are the results:

The one with this world’s energy became a tiny wild golem made of clay. It immediately attacked me so I just smashed it on the ground. The consistency was weird and it sucked aura out of me each time I touched it, so these things are dangerous.

I’m glad I did it on a small scale first.

The one with mixed energy became a tiny golem as well, but it developed an outside crust of dirt and wandered around apparently without purpose. I tried giving it a mental command but nothing happened. It also wouldn’t suck my energy by itself.

But it attacked me when I poked him.

Then, the one with energy from above became a dry and lumpy small golem. It just stood still and moved according to my will.

I would think “move there” while looking at the golem, and he would move.

Interesting. Very interesting.

Grandma’s soul seems interested as well. None of us is sure of it, but it seems in the far past all golems where obedient to their creators.

So the golems made with this world’s energy are rebelling against me because of the curse in the world’s aura?

It should be possible, even if problematic.

Anyhow, I destroyed the tiny obedient golem as well.

It pierces my heart, even more knowing those things don’t have minds but do have small, tiny souls which form naturally.

So it can actually feel things like loyalty for their creator.

But I can’t have them inside the house. It’s too dangerous if someone discovers I have made them.

So unfair.

Poor golem, before dying I shall name you.

“Thou name shalt be Enrico Emilio the First”

The golem didn’t answer but I could see a small radiance in his lifeless eyes.

Goodbye Emilio. You served me well.

I made a prayer to the golem after destroying him… and this is where grandma’s soul most literally jumped at me.

… what the hell grandma? Are you trying to possess me or something?

It’s impossible to possess someone’s body with just your soul, you know? I tried it earlier.

***

So, I went on [Soul Walk] and grandma started to talk to me. It was a weird talk. She vehemently prohibited me to make prayers. I should never, ever, join my hands to pray. Even as a joke.

And so I discovered why I haven’t heard of gods in this world.

Yep, you probably guessed it.

The empire was a theocratic nation.

Their ideology was based on the idea of being special beings chosen by the gods in order to rule over others. So they could do whatever they pleased.

Well, isn’t that a piece of shit.

Ah, of course grandma didn’t talk to me directly or lengthily on the subject. She just said a couple phrases to me.

“All, dear, don’t ever do things like that, even if you saw them in your dreams. That is the way of the old Empire, and even inside the house it’s dangerous to do it.”.

Or something like that.

Isn’t this place looking more and more like China each day?

No, it’s a mix of modern chinese atheism, jewish grudge towards past aggressors and european medieval laws and customs on how to deal with religious criminals.

Pretty eclectic.

Anyhow, I learned something new today. Don’t pray, even if you know gods are real and have been sent to this world by a goddess.

You don’t want to end up as a human skewer over a big fire.

***

Well, I’m quite surprised with myself.

Remember when I said I would expend the lazy days I had after my birthday by stalking on sister?

She just reached the county’s capital now.

It was a few months of walking with some encounters with monsters and so on, but she is now on someone’s house.

It’s a big house made of stone.

I guess she got hired as a maid, since she is doing housework during the day.

She is also preparing to go to the dojo and ask to be taught there.

In the end, she definitely won’t need regular monitoring.

Even on the woods where she may find danger grandma and I rarely had to intervene.

Yes. I did learn how to use plenty of techniques while using only my soul. It has been interesting, even if using magic while doing [Soul Walk] is hard as balls.

You need to remember the ~~feeling~~ of the spell and then let it go through your soul to the aura which will then affect the physical plane.

On another words, it means to use feeling/emotion to pass information to the aura instead of voice. Very useful since it means you don’t need to chant the spell, but very unstable. It seems I can also use my imagination to visualize the needed effect and use my ~thoughts~ to pass on the information instead, but there’s always emotional influence to some degree.

The cool thing is, this concept isn’t very far from the one of occultists back on earth, so I’m much more familiar to it than I was to singing. Grandma got pretty shocked when she saw I could do the magic using visualization instead of emotion. It seems this is considered to be the “third degree of difficulty” off magic, whilst the first step is changing, the second is chantless magic and the third is thought magic. I don’t understand very well what she meant with that, but I guess I will get it once she teaches me properly.

Anyhow, her common day of work is just doing laundry or sewing and there doesn’t seem anything really threatening around.

I was a bit scared with the idea of rape, but a drunkard once tried to grab her breasts in the market and ended with exposed fractures on both of them. The militia went to see what happened but the guy seemed to be known as a good-for-nothing kind of person and got arrested instead.

Since then she had been known all over the place as a dangerous woman to mess with, and there doesn’t seem to be many people interested on fooling around with her.

Besides, she keeps dressing plainly on the old clothes she carried all the way from home, with spiky hair and everything. She would never attract attention from the people in the city when woman in the city’s whoring quarter are so seductive and so many.

I mean, it isn’t a BIG city, but still big enough to have a few brothels.

Maybe it has 10.000 inhabitants or something. I didn’t count each one, but I counted the number of houses and It reached around two hundred in a space which kind of amounts to one tenth of the city. So I’m guessing five people per house and maybe 2.000 houses total.

In earth it would barely be called a small city.

But hell, isn’t this big compared to our own village!

So, of course they have brothels, clothing shops and so on.

Nothing too fancy. It seems they still use lye to clean the clothes, and even urine seems to be used as well… ironically to clean the fanciest clothings. I believe it’s something on the level of a roman city around 100 b.c.e ?

Let’s say it is.

Still, no sewage system.

Seriously. The dung pile at the end of the city, and the dunggers carrying buckets or even barrels of shit and piss…

Hell man, it’s fucking NASTY. They get covered in the stuff and the sun makes them their skin spotted in the places where urine bleached it.

URGH.

Enough with that.

Sister is fine, that’s the point.

So watching her would be unnecessary.

Well, maybe I will watch from time to time, regardless of if it’s necessary or not. It brings good memories when I see her bathing after all…

***

Ah, my birthday has come. What a bother.

I mean, it should be fun, right?

After all, every single aspect of the last birthdays is present. I have got a lot of presents, including sweets and a hand-written book by grandma. It’s just a book with folk tales she thought I may want to read, but it will be very useful to expand my vocabulary. Grandma even made small explanations on the margins, making clear for me what the words I didn’t knew meant. 

I have also heard some fun stories here and there, participated in singing and enjoyed being the center of attentions for a little bit.

Still, I’m quite moody.

I mean, mother isn’t here, right?

She has to stay inside the house taking care of my little sister, and my birthday is happening at grandmother’s house.

I’m surprisingly sad with that. And mother even made me my favorite foods.

Hominy porridge with milk, sugar and toasted peanuts for breakfast. This thing is hellishly difficult to do, since one has to dry the special corn with lye and ashes for days before finally cooking it for hours.

Then for lunch she made spicy omelet with sour cream and crispy cheese.

And for dinner she prepared a thick beef stew.

She didn’t even had me helping her. She said it would be her gift for me, since I seem to like it so much.

Of course, she could give me something else besides food, like clothes or toys. But then she would need to have father buying it on her place.

She went through all of this work because she wanted to give me something herself.

I can’t be mad at her, right?

Mother loves me, right?

So, why am I still a bit moody, even if I remember all of this? Even if she isn’t here, I should be glad she loves me so much, right?

….

I’m still sad when I look around and don’t see her.

And I guess I would remain that way if grandma didn’t take me on her lap and hugged me while the family talked.

What a useless baby I am. So old in my mind, and I still need this woman’s arms around me to feel happy.

But I’m happy now.

It’s okay if I take a nap here, right?

Thought so. Until later.

***

Aahh… damn.

First day outside the house. We got water and I split the wood. 

Now Jacen is leading the way to a place he seems to go to hang out with his friends. Father said he should take me with him for the first day.

*sigh*

Okay, let’s see how this develops.

So, those are Jacen’s friends.

Two boys and a girl. One of the boys seems to be the oldest, while the other is Jacen’s age and the girl is my age.

Their names… why the hell should I care?

Argh, common Alvin, don’t be so anti-social. You know what happened to you in your past life because of your arrogance and sense of superiority when dealing with other human beings.

Loneliness and depression. Don’t go this path again.

So, Jacen has three little friends.

One is older than him and the “big brother” to the little group. His name is Ralphe and his is the son of Raphael and Elise. The other two are a boy who is the same age as Jacen, called Maurus Dorian, and Ralphe’ little sister, Elipha – who is my age.

I don’t need to say fathers and mothers in this world, or at least in our village, seem to have the habit of making up the children’s name by uniting parts of their own, right?

It’s pretty clear at this point.

Anyhow, I was kind of surprised by hearing this Maurus boy has a surname. I remember father talking about these guys. The Dorians’.

They seem to be a family given surname by our Lord for some kind of deed done in the past. I don’t know what did they do, but it must have been important.

Regardless, the head of the house, a certain man named Matthew Dorian, is just an honorary Gentleman – meaning he is kind of a third rate nobility, but without absolutely any privileges except being allowed to have a surname.

I’m not totally sure how nobility works in this world, but it seems Honorary Gentleman are kinda like people who get the town’s key – honored, but only on the degree which commonfolk can climb to.

Hereditary Gentleman, by their time, can pass this title to their children as well – meaning Matthew’s grandsons won’t be allowed to have a surname, only his immediate offspring.

Weird, weird.

Is having a surname something so special?

I mean, I had two of them in my previous life and they meant jack shit.

But then again, this IS a medievales-que kind of world, so I guess it gives people “distinction” ….

Except in the case of Maurus here it doesn’t seem to be good.

Let me explain.

After meeting with Jacen’s friends I wasn’t even introduced. They just got together and went straight ahead to the village’s temporary market.

You see, we are in Autumn. This means there is plenty of crop harvested. And this crop has to be exchanged not only locally but also with merchants.

Not that there are many. To tell the truth, it seems we have only a single merchant who comes to our town every year around this time.

He’s a fat man named Tom Dockster and he’s a Squire – a semi-noble, whose title means “attendant to a knight”. In truth this is given to very wealthy people who usually possess a tiny bit of land.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

What? All farmers possess land?

Hahahha. No.

In this world, and I think in all nobility systems, all of the land belongs to the king until said otherwise. The local lords receive management rights and then divide those amongst the populace so the land can be cultivated, but there isn’t such a thing as private property in this world.

No land buying and selling. You have to get into the good side of someone who has it and want to give it to you, or to become so rich a decaying noble will shame themselves to take a big “present” from your hands and then give you some land in return.

Oh, all nobles possess land?

Not at all my friend. Not at all. Honorary nobles usually don’t possess none or only a very small property. And it will become the local lord’s family possession once they die.

And even hereditary knights and so on may only have a very small piece of land or no effective land at all.

They do get preferential treatment and usually manage to live better than the commonfolk, but it happens sometimes that nobles keep their titles without having any land attached to it.

Anyhow. Tom’s cart is a four-wheeled one pulled by four horses and the reason why he comes by every year is because this village seems to be in his way to another place.

Truth be said this man walks around with a bunch of rude ruffians and doesn’t pay the littlest attention to us.

He only stops his cart at our village’s door for a single day every year, and weird rumors of muffled sounds of voices coming from the inside of it have circulated thought the village plenty of times already.

So he’s a shady person. Which isn’t surprising. He sells spices to our village and takes grain with him, but why would such a rich man come by this route?

That said, we went to the village gate. He obviously hasn’t come by yet, but there are already some people making deals there – that is, hunters selling meat for grain, people who got wild edible herbs changing them for meat and grain, and even a couple old ladies exchanging yarn amongst themselves.

This is important since when Tom arrives everyone needs to have their deals in order already.

Imagine if someone was to sell a bunch of grain in exchange of salt and cinnamon, but there’s someone else in the village who has a lot of cinnamon left over from the last year and no salt?

In this case this person wouldn’t have enough grain for herself, and there would be too much cinnamon in the village.

Also there have been cases when a hunter got large prey but needed grain – the problem is, he couldn’t sell it all because he got here too late. In the end everyone ate it together, but he had to accept the fact of giving meat for free and going without food for a few days that year.

On another words, people have to barter between themselves before bartering with Tom.

And this is where we come in.

You see, kids are always hungry for sweets.

They have a bottomless pit on their stomachs or something. I don’t know.

Besides, it’s kind of like a game. You go to the market and try to ask someone who is loaded with sugar for a spoon of it.

Sometimes you get some.

So, that’s where we headed to as soon as Jacen got to the meeting point where he meets his friends – that is, a place a few dozen meters away from our house.

And there is where Maurus being a different kind of kid became something weird to see.

There’s plenty of children in our village. I would say at least forty. And still, our little group of five is the smallest one and also looked with weirdness by the other kids.

First I thought it had something to do with me and Jacen, but we got sugar from the guy who was offering some of it to others.

But when it was Maurus’s time he got none. The man looked at him with a sore eye and said he wouldn’t give any more to anyone.

Except he gave some to a kid a few moments later.

Jacen’s “big brother”, the kid named Ralphe, gave some of his to the kid – but it was pretty clear this Dorian kid is despised by both the adults and other kids of this village.

I wonder what happened here? And how Jacen and this other Ralphe boy got attracted to form a group with him?

Regardless.

The day was all about running around to places, eating stuff we got from people in the market and from the bored housewives who were on the windows of their houses and playing child games.

Some events brought together more kids, like when Ralphe started a marble’s contest where the winner takes it all, but even on those occasions the Dorian kid got left out.

 I wonder if he is going to grow up to be a resentful little guy who will want revenge on everyone?

Not that he lacks motives.

That said my role was mostly to train qigong and other techniques while also having a little fun on some of the contests.

I tried not to bring too much attention to myself and I have to say it seems I was successful. Most five-years-old don’t get noticed too much anyway, so it was easy to just blend with the crowd.

Then again I noticed something worrisome.

Even if I don’t use my Aura, it’s passive effect of strengthening my body is still present.

Just like how when I was a kid there was plenty of strength and other buffs to my physical body given that I just kept accumulating it, now as well.

Even after running all day I’m not tired in the slightest, while Jacen is panting and sweating like crazy.

I guess I have to find a way to deal with my aura in order to hide effectively amongst the people.

It would be a lame disguise if I couldn’t move freely after all.

So I will ask grandmother about it tonight. Who could have guessed. Being amongst the common folk’s dirty children indeed gave me some insight on something that might be useful for me in the future.

Life is full of surprises, uhm?

***

So, tonight everyone was happy.

Mother asked me what happened during the day and I and Jacen gave descriptions. She and father commented on it, both with a happy face.

Little sister still isn’t eating with us, but I felt even her cries tonight where less of a pain than in the other days.

And goddamit.

Do babies really have to cry THIS much?

It’s loud as well!

Well, time to go into [Soul Walking] and talk to grandma.

“Hi grandma”

I’m using [Soul Walk] to go to a place in the forest both of us use to go together in order to talk while using our souls.

“Goodnight dear. How was your day?”

I described what we did and grandma’s soul gave me a smile.

“That is good. Keep playing with the other kids and you will discover even more things to improve upon.”

So, it wasn’t just concern for my emotional and social well-being in the end. Grandma is a sly badger. She’s testing me.

“Uhm. But what about training? Grandma promised!”

She got near a tree and seated with her legs crossed, her soul’s back touching the tree’s trunk.

“Sit in front of me dear.”

I sat.

“I will teach you how to use two techniques which will help you with the problem you had today. The first one is called [Last Stand] and it’s a technique to concentrate your aura in a place in your body, removing it from the rest. Do you know how can this help you?”

“If I take the aura out of my arms and legs and head I will start sweating?”

“That is right. But the better you get on this, the better you can concentrate your Aura on small places. If you put it on your belly and free your lungs, for example, you can start panting by running around.”

“But grandma, isn’t it easier to just learn how to pretend?”

“Pretending to sweat is difficult dear. Besides, someone with good ears will be able to tell the difference between fake panting and real panting because of the sound of the air going through your nose and your heartbeat. It’s possible to control this as well, but much more difficult than learning [Last Stand].”

To the point of hearing my heartbeat?

Well, ain’t this kind of motherfucker a little TOO full of aura?

“Uhm. And the other technique, what is?”

“The other technique is called [Last Breath]. It’s a simple technique which complements this one, and allows you to release all of your aura at once. You can use the first technique to defend your internal organs while releasing your members and this one to make a single big attack, but in your case I want for you to use it to remain hidden may the need arise.”

Wait a moment… isn’t this what I did on my first day learning aura?

Just jamming all of it outside without any control?

Let’s ask grandma.

“What you did wasn’t [Last Breath] darling, because [Last Breath] uses all of your aura at once, even beyond the point of passing out. It’s a dangerous technique which sometimes become a [suicide] attack. But I have been able to see the signs of the [Immortal] and [Spiritual] talents on your body recently, so even if I teach this technique to you, you won’t be in danger.”

Oh, a technique which can only be used by immortals.

I guess [suicide] means suicide.

“But grandma, how can this help me?”

“Even if you are from the [Immortal] clan, by using this technique you will lose all Aura in your body darling. This means your body will be left without any life in it. Your heart will stop beating and you will look dead to everyone around. If you had only the [Immortal] talent you would enter what we call the eternal sleep of the [ancient]. But since you have the [Spiritual] talent you will come back to life once your body has recovered some aura, but by using [Last Breath] and [Soul Walk] you can control this. It will be a technique to be used only in the last of the cases. Do you understand?”

Well, this is smart.

How to get away with being an immortal cheating character?

Just pretend to die in a way no one can even doubt you’re dead.

I like it.

It will make me cheatier.

Besides I can also use my metamorphosys talent to choose a new identity after.

It’s the perfect “let’s pretend my own death” technique. Huhuhuhu.

“Uhm. I will learn.”

“Good. Those are more difficult than [Aura Hand] and [Aura Weapon], so you must train a lot to learn them.”

More difficult, uhm?

Well, my great problem with those two was lack of aura recovery speed to keep them at all times. So I guess I won’t have any problems if it’s just more difficult in technique. My mind has become quite capable in the last months, so even if it requires a set of very difficult and specific movements and visualizations I can easily process them all at once.

“Okay.”

“Besides that, I want to ask you what you want to learn next. It’s a big decision, so be wise.”

Big decision?

Are you accepting me as your disciple, grandma-seensei ?

Just joking.

“Why big?”

“Because I want you to choose between learning more spells and techniques to use In the physical world or to learn things to use in the soul world.”

Uuuhm.. techniques which use the soul, hum?

Seems good. But I wonder…

“I don’t understand grandma. Why can’t I learn both?”

Grandma gave me a small smile.

“You can dear. And you will. But things which happen in the world of souls are very dangerous, even for you. You need to learn much more and increase your cultivation before adventuring here. If you want to learn soul spells and techniques you will become very powerful, but you will also be in danger, because your soul isn’t immortal like your body.”

Waaait wait wait.

What do you mean my soul isn’t immortal like my body?

Do you mean you can kill people from the [Immortal] clan if you want, by destroying their souls?

And that you want to teach this to me?

Woman, are you fucking insane?

Teach this to me now!

What if a fucking ghost comes and kill me while I sleep?!

Not that I need to sleep, but, regardless.

“Then I should learn that grandma, so I can defend my soul!”

Grandma turned her head to the sides, negating.

“The easiest way for you to defend yourself would be to keep cultivating your [Soul Advent] and [Mind Deepening] techniques. The first technique can make your soul very strong against attacks and the second one can make your mind so deep and powerful you can regrow your soul, even if it’s lost. But if you want to learn soul spells and soul aura you will have to stop cultivating. Because you’re near the first [bottleneck].”

[bottleneck] ?

I don’t know this word.

“Grandma what is a [bottleneck]?”

“It’s the neck of a bottle. But it also means you are approaching the first big challenge you will have to face in cultivating. Do you remember when you became a Superior Being?”

“Uhm. I do.”

“That happened because you used [Soul Advent] to break the curse, but your body didn’t truly change. Only now you’re approaching the moment in your cultivation where you can breakthrough it. If you keep cultivating, you will achieve the next level and we can start training soul techniques after.”

Uuhm… weird.

Besides, how this relates to me needing to stop cultivation to learn soul techniques?

It seems my doubt is being transmitted to grandma. The soul world is really a weird place.

“Soul techniques change our own soul and make we feel many things we aren’t used to. If you learn soul techniques while cultivating, you may change your body as if you had gone beyond your limit and became a monster. I don’t know if you really should worry about that since you have dreamed of having the [Metamorphosys] talent, but I don’t see it on your Aura now. Besides, a strong soul will also get the attention of dangerous beings which only exist in the soul world. So I don’t want you to choose this option. I want you to learn more techniques to use on the physical world. Things like spells to make fire or water, and [Joint Training].”

[Joint Training]. I remember sister using this word when I was really little.

But, still…

“If grandma thinks it’s best for me I will learn new spells. I want to learn how to make a ball of fire to toss it into others, and a beam of light and rain and things like that. But why is grandma asking me if this is better?”

Grandma made a relieved face.

“Because of the [Course] darling.”

The what now?

“[Course]? What is this?”

Grandma looked above us. The sky is full of stars.

“Honey, you must swear you won’t tell this to anyone. You won’t even tell this to your brother and sisters, okay?”

“O.. okay?”

“Your mother and father made me promise I wouldn’t ever talk a word about this to none of you. But I guess you need to know. Not to mention it’s something punishable by immediate death sentence. So don’t ever talk to others.”

“Uhm.”

“Alvin, son, do you think there are things out there which are bigger than us humans?”

Of course.

“Grandma told me there are things like dragons, demons and angels, right?”

She shook her head.

“Even those can be challenged and destroyed as long as the challenger have enough power. I’m talking things which go beyond life and death. Things which go beyond our minds, things which are so big nothing can touch them?”

Isn’t she talking about the gods?

“Things like what creates the world?”

“No. They are alike because these things are very, very, powerful. But they only have power. I mean things which no amount of power can go against.”

So… beings which transcend the very idea of power.

It doesn’t matter if it’s an ant or the entire universe’s power. It just doesn’t affect it. Like how our souls can’t be affected by things from the physical plane.

No, thinking well, we can interact with aura, so there’s probably some way aura can affect us.

Something even more transcendental than that.

Difficult to imagine.

“I don’t know.”

“I will tell you a history then.”

Grandma adjusted her position and started the tale.

“Much, much time ago… before the world existed, before anything existed… the [thing] created the [course]. The [thing] is impossible to understand or think about. It is beyond everything and we cannot imagine what it is. We don’t even know if it’s only one [thing] or many [things]. It’s just the [thing]. The [course] created by the thing is called the Law. The law is what makes our [spirits], which are the higher things we have, and which are just like the [thing] – impossible to imagine or understand. Our spirits, however, drifted in the spirit world, without purpose and without mind. We couldn’t think or feel or do.  

That’s when the [thing] created the mental world.

In the mental world, everyone was given minds. And now we could think.

Some of us noticed then that they had bigger, more powerful minds than the others.

We don’t know why, but there the first [titans] were born.

Those [titans] were the strongest of all minds, and they created many worlds where they sent the other minds to, and ruled over them.

The [thing], however, didn’t stop creating, and it created the Soul World.

Some of the minds refused to get souls, but many decided to do it.

Once they discovered someone could have a strong soul even without having a strong mind, many more decided to go as well, and the [titans] from the mental world became confused.

How to deal with being so strong in the mental world, while many of them were so weak in the soul world?

It was a big conflict, especially since not many knew how to do [mind walk] and became incapable of using their mind power once they got souls.

A very long time passed, and the soul world and mind world found balance. And in this balance, there were those who were strong of both mind and soul.

Those where then called the [true titans], and they ruled the world over the [titans], which were only strong in one – mind or soul.

But the [thing] kept creating, and it created the physical world.

Many, many souls went to the physical world once they discovered it.

But the physical world made the souls weak.

Once a soul enters the physical world it becomes brittle, and it will disappear after death.

Not only that, but the mind will also suffer, and the memories will be forgotten. Power will be lost.”

So, reincarnating beings become weaker and have amnesia.

Okay, I know this much.

But haven’t there been anyone who reincarnated and kept their memories so far?

“Grandma, can’t someone keep their memories?”

She smiled.

“Some people say that’s where the [Dreamer’s] dreams come from honey. But this doesn’t happen.

Their dreams come from the [Titans] or from other strong minds, which will give them knowledge to try and affect our world.

Someday we will go on [mind walk] and you will see by yourself.”

Wait, wait…

This doesn’t seem nice to me.

Is there a chance I’m just some [titan’s] pawn? That all of my memories are indeed a dream I had?

Goddamit I hate when this shit happens.

I have read quite a few Light Novels back on earth which ended like this.

The person suddenly realizes she is the product of some higher being altering their memories.

I hate this idea.

I hate it!

“The beings which came to our world had also different bodies which not always matched their souls. There were strong beings with weak souls, and weak beings with strong souls.

But this time not many of the beings from the soul world came besides the first ones to come to the physical world. That because there were many chances of becoming trapped here.

Still, some came. Some became very powerful when they used to be weak, and others remained powerful when they already used to be powerful.

The sun, the moon, the earth and the darkness in the deep sky are very powerful beings.

They sun, the earth and the moon used to be [Titans], while the darkness in the deep sky used to be a [True Titan].

The ocean, as well, used to be a strong [Titan] with a powerful soul and weak mind.

But things like the [Great Fish] from the [Abyss Lake] in a certain place of the soul world became just a small part of the bigger thing called [Hunger], which is ruled by an old titan.”

Wait, wait and wait again.

Ok, I got it.

Being strong in one of the three worlds doesn’t make you strong in the others.

But what’s up with talking about two spirits in the feeling of [hunger]?

Besides, isn’t this something emotional?

“Grandma, hunger is a feeling, not a thing. And why are there two spirits to it?”

“Oh dear, there are hundreds, thousands, a number impossible to count of spirits in every little thing of our physical universe.

They inhabit every littlest piece of things, most of them very weak in other worlds, but some very strong. The feeling of hunger is something from the soul world, but the effects it makes in the body, like how it makes your stomach make sounds or how it burns inside, these kind of things have many spirits in them as well.”

Well, I can understand having a spirit in every fundamental particle of the universe… or at least in some of them… but having a spirit in sound and burning feeling?

I mean, sound is just a movement of air particles.

And the burning feeling is just the chemical reaction being interpreted on our nerves.

But then again, she said the darkness on the deep of the sky had a spirit on it.

So does she mean things like energy and frequency patterns have spirits as well?

I mean, is it possible to spirits to inhabit light, the lack of it, space and time, patterns of movement and, maybe, even information itself?

That’s not unheard by me, since in earth there were these bunch of weird people who believed literally everything had a spirit, but…

Does this make any sense?

“Again it took time, but a new balance was established. Those who were strong of only minds remained as being [Titans], and some took souls and bodies and live amongst us. Those who were strong of both mind and soul, but had weak bodies, were the [True titans]. Those strong of soul and body, but weak of mind, were the [Demi-Gods]. And those who were strong of mind, soul and body became the [Gods].

Those created entire worlds inside each of the three main worlds, the mind world, soul world and physical world.

They would create things which were amazing, and destroy as well.

But the [thing] keep creating, and it created the humans.”

So, that’s the part where we see the anthropocentrism of the human race on making itself superior to the gods, right?

We will see a tale of how we are special and all.

“Humans are weak.”

Well, maybe not.

“We are some of the weakest beings in the world, because only very weak minds and souls can become human. The [thing] made it like this. But it made something else as well. It waved our paths in the Course.”

…excuse me?

Yeah, anthropocentrism 100%, no doubt.

“Humans have a destiny. It is inevitable. So it is with the [Destined], so it is with our clan which always have a Loved One somewhere in the world. It is inevitable. The Empress had to rule over the Last Fortress, and I had to fall in love with your grandfather. This is all part of the Course.

Curse it.”

Curse it?

I mean, I do understand grandma feeling bad. And I may have some degree of blame in this, since my family three has been prepared by the goddess to give me my current body.

… if there is indeed a goddess and I’m not just some [Titan’s] pawn.

But those should be different things, no?

I mean, people falling in love to give me my genetic makeup is one thing. But this [Destined] bullshit has nothing to do with me.

I think.

By the way, the reason why we were talking about this was…

“So darling, this is how we came to be. This is the [Course] and it demands that I give you an option once you come close to your first bottleneck.”

“What would happen if grandma didn’t?”

“If either you choose wrong or I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t be able to teach you. No one from the Long Lived Race would.”

That’s… weird.

This is something written in the destiny of people?

“Grandma, is this only for people of the Long Lived Race clan?”

“Yes. None would be able to teach you anymore.”

“Then isn’t this a curse instead?”

Grandma game me a wry smile.

But, I mean, it has all of the characteristics of a curse.

It’s a test to see if you have the same priorities and ideology as the Clan – slow in the beginning, slow but safe, tossing your greed behind to achieve power in a way you don’t put your future at risk.

And if you don’t pass others can teach you, but not someone from the Clan.

“That’s impossible Darling. We would be able to see it by using [Mind Walking] if this was the case. This Is the Course, not a simple thing such as a curse.”

My intuition tells me otherwise.

“But you have passed, so let’s start your training okay?”

I shudder to think what would have happened to my training if I was a little greedier.

***

So, I have a new routine now.

Wake early in the morning. Cut the wood. Eat breakfast. Get water in the river.

Go out and train [Last Stand] while also using other techniques and spells which doesn’t appear too much and doing qigong.

I also play along with the kids and observe how people around me act on the day-by-day basis.

By lunch time me and Jacen return home and eat. Then at the afternoon we go back to the streets.

I usually take a few minutes under a three to do a quick [Soul Walk] and check on sister. She seems to be doing fine, training at the dojo by swinging a heavy boken. The other kids have seen me doing this and a post-lunch nap time has been instituted amongst us.

After waking up I keep lazily following the kids around.

I have learned a couple more interesting things recently, like how I have to keep my balance a little off in order to look like a commoner and some muscles and postures after doing certain exercises and playing certain games.

Otherwise I just stand out too much and it becomes clear the exercises and playthings everyone does doesn’t affect me as much.

By dinner time we return home, eat, talk about our days and the family goes to sleep.

At this time my serious training mode begins.

I start by cladding myself on all of the hiding techniques and then leaving the house.

I jump the village’s wall and run full speed ahead until a small clearance some fifty kilometers away.

It’s quite the distance, so it’s almost impossible to someone see me. Or at least grandma agrees with me the probability is so low it’s worth it.

Here I have created a small training camp.

There are wood planks all around in the ground, and a two-meter wall surrounding the whole place.

After getting here I create wild golems and a series of small treants.

Grass treants, rice treants and pine bush (rosemary) treants are what I usually do.

The grass treants are dangerous because you can’t go right thought them. They are spiky grass leaves with very sharp edges which become active and try to cut you to pieces when you get inside them. They act as natural barriers and I use them to protect the others in the circumference. 

The rice treants are the kind which will try to drag you to them and crush you. I put them right beyond the grass treants,

making it dangerous to be taken by the tentacles – since they would make me right thought the grass treant’s blades.

And finally the pinebush treants are the long distance type. They shoot small harpoon-needles, which are as hard as iron and have a natural fiber tread attached to them.

Their prey capture method is to stung you to death and then retract the needles fishing your body with them.

So, long-range, mid-range and short range.

These are my immobile enemies which are arranged in a circular formation all around the training area with me in the center.

But I also make some small wild golems so they will attack me and make the scenario a little less predictable.

More than a couple times I have actually gotten hurt, so it isn’t a walk in the park.

Not to mention once my [Aura Armor] got broken as I was inside a grass treant… the thing almost chopped me up into pieces, and I lost most of the fingers on one of my hands.

Luckily I’m not so dumb as to do this kind of extreme training without supervision.

Grandma’s soul is also with me for most of the time, so I fight while using all of my techniques plus the [nightvision] spell she taught me and while doing qigong… but certain that if I do a slip she will put the treants down before they cut my head off.

Call me immortal and endless regenerating being as much as you want. Truth be told I would still hate to be beheaded and have to wait for my body to regrow. It’s too gory. Besides, there’s a chance the treants would grow big with the aura they would suck from my body and I would have a real problem after waking up. Growing my fingers again was nasty enough, thank you.

Regardless.

I do this kind of training with treants around one-meter-high each and two to three golems half a meter high each.

Since I myself ain’t much bigger, I guess it’s balanced.

Then, after finishing them, usually by a combination of [Aura Sword] and [Aura Spear] with [Aura Javelin], all subtypes of the [Aura Weapon] technique, I go into spell training.

Grandmother has taught me the [Fireball] spell I wanted, but also its simpler and more utilitarian versions like [Candle Flame].

She also said she would teach me other kinds of magic like [Wind Gust], [Rain], [Water Gathering], [Water Creation], [Storm], [Hurricane], [Sea of Flame], [Lightning], [Thunder], [Mud] and other such magic, but she said It and I agree – learning all possible mantras is kind of useless for me now.

You see, as I said chantless magic is based on feeling. Once you chant some magic correctly you can notice the feeling it gives you and, using it, manipulate your own aura or the aura around you in order to make the magic happen.

In magics like [Sea of Flame] or [Water Gathering] it’s almost impossible to cast by using only the usual magic mantra.

This happens because the mantra will always drag energy from your aura, and spells like those need TONS of energy.

And I mean TONS of it.

That not to mention spells grandma said she would teach me but where impossible to use, like [Water Creation] – which theoretically should be able to make someone materialize water from pure energy.

It seems the spell has been used only once by a [God] who had descended on earth, so it’s kind of a lucky charm to be learned.

What’s the difference from [Water Gathering]?

Well, [Water Gathering] attracts water from the air around and condensates it on your hand or where you put the spell at.

It’s a weird spell which makes a “bubble” or aura in your hand and you can then put it where you want the water to condensate on.

It’s also the basis for the [Rain] spell.

So, these spells use a lot of energy.

Then, the best way to cast them is by using energy from the threes and forest around, or even from the remains of the monsters I create to train.

The process of doing it is by using the technique of chantless magic to attract and use the energy of the environment with your soul, even while inside your body.

Then, if I use this while also using regular chantless magic, I can power my magics with energy from the environment instead of energy from my aura.

And if I learn two or three mantras from spells which are just the advanced version of one another I can compare the “feeling” each of them give me and learn to cast it in a more flexible and controlled way.

Like how I learned the [Candle Fire], [Fireball] and [Sea of Flame] spells and then compared the feeling each of them gave me to learn how to manipulate and generate fire whenever and however I want.

This kind of technique is called [Magic Flexibility], and so far I have learned how to do it with fire and water.

Mixing both is even more interesting. I have been able to produce steam and fog by mixing the feelings of [Water Gathering] and [Fireball], but I think I can refine this to create a small rain of fire.

The possibilities are endless!

Huhuhuhu.

Anyhow.

After doing this spell training I clean up the rest of the place and focus on going thought the bottleneck.

So I need to focus a lot on my [Body Refining] technique in order to get a breakthrough which should manifest itself in a transformation like the one I got when I became a superior being – only more intense and visually distinct.

I’m curious.

Anyhow, I seat in lotus position and do qigong while grandma goes to check on Ann.

After that I go back home and do the last of the training for the day – the [Last Breath] technique, which is a suicide technique.

I have to say I almost gave up when I first tried it, with the fear that I would die and not return.

But grandma was near me, so I steeled my heart and did it.

What I did was to put all of my aura into a rock.

Not that I have much to spare after all of that training. My aura gathering speed is enormous right now, but it isn’t infinite.

I usually get home with just a few drops remaining, so I just dump these last few drops into the rock.

How the technique is done?

Well, how can I say it… you have to burn trough your youth?

I don’t know how to describe. It’s just weird.

But I’m mastering it.

Little by little I sure am.

So, after putting the last drops of aura I have into a small rock, I drop dead in my bed and come back to life little by little.

It takes around half an hour for that to happen, but I have been training while doing [Soul Walk] in order to control how much energy I get from the void, even in that form.

With this I should be able to learn how to stand this “death state” indefinitely.

And this is my routine.

Wake, play, train, die, come back to life.

Have I said already that I love fantasy worlds?